BreakMeIn (11 page)

When he heard her shift behind him, Alex fought back the
surge of panic that threatened to overwhelm him and make him call a stop to
everything. His cheeks heated as he thought about what he’d done so far. About
the fact he stood here without a stitch of clothing on, cock jutting away from
his body.

What sort of fool would willingly subject themselves to this
kind of treatment? Surely he had to be insane, strung up like some sacrificial
offering. What the fuck had he been thinking?

The fact he hadn’t been thinking didn’t escape his notice.

But each tap of Elena’s heels against the floor certainly
sent sparks through his system. Interesting. He closed his eyes, imaging her
slow approach. Her hips swaying suggestively in offering, her breasts bouncing
with the movement of each measured step.

Arousal unfurled low in his body, setting off a series of
interesting sensations he hadn’t expected. She stood behind him, silent as
though she was looking him over to decide if he was even worthy of her time and
attention.

Something moved behind him, a sound he didn’t recognize.

This sexual encounter was odd and strange. He wasn’t used to
being the object of someone’s intense gaze. Though he liked the way Elena kept
looking at him as though she could devour him whole, he was used to sex being
much more simplistic. Get in, get out. Quick, simple and so damn boring it was
a wonder he’d even come.

He jerked in surprise when something hard and smooth stroked
over his ass. Despite his shock his body responded instantly, heat and desire
surging through him unchecked. He had no idea how to modulate his response
other than to think he wanted this completely out-of-control sensation to
cease.

But his cock had other ideas.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” An object brushed against his
skin causing him to jerk as his hips surged forward, thrusting into the
nothingness. She trailed it over his arm, up and over his shoulder, down his
back to the base of his spine. A strangled moan escaped as the soft caresses
continued. Pleasure buzzed through his system, collecting low in his groin to
spin tightly through him.

He’d never experienced anything of this power and magnitude
in his life.

Still high on the energy, he barely registered the soft tap
of the object. Unprepared for it, arousal continued to unfurl, wrapping around
the base of his cock as the item tapped against his skin again. Her hand
smoothed over the curve of his ass, her loving stroke enhancing the heat
spreading through his lower extremities.

“Don’t think. Just feel. Give yourself over to the
experience. To how I’m making you feel.” Elena’s hand moved away, the object
striking him again, this time hard enough a sting of pain bloomed. Something
whistled through the air seconds before a startling blow concussed against his
skin.

Jesus Christ, she was spanking him.

And fuck me, I like it.

Anger and confusion surged through him, stunning him as
panic clenched tightly around his throat. A wave of revulsion and shame washed
over him. He hadn’t felt this defenseless since dealing with his father. “Stop,
please.”

Her hand caressed his hip, her fingers playing gently with
the places she danced over with the item. “Do you really want me to stop? Think
hard before your answer. Very hard.” Before he could reply she tapped his ass
with the unforgiving item. His breath hissed through clenched teeth, his cock
jerking as his hips thrust forward in the air again.

Fire burned through his arms as he clenched at the chains
suspending his arms. He closed his eyes, humiliation riding hard in his blood. “I
just want—”

“This isn’t about what you want. This is about what you need
but don’t necessarily know how to ask for.” He shuddered when the fabric of her
corset grazed his back as he lost himself to the sensation of her body pressed
against him. “Open your eyes, Alexander.” The breathy quality of her voice spun
though him.

He did as instructed, wondering how she knew he’d closed his
eyes when she stood behind him. The question died in his throat as he sighted
what she’d been using to smack his butt. The paddle was about a foot long and
about three inches wide. Only a half-inch thick, the highly polished wood
seemed innocent enough.

Except the heat kindling across his ass spoke of a different
story.

“This is bringing you pleasure. Does that bother you?” She
paused, waiting. “I expect the truth, Alexander. No matter how much it
unsettles you to admit to something you fear.”

He swallowed without speaking because he didn’t know the
right answer. She turned him on like no one he’d ever known. But in less than
an hour, she’d forced him to experience things he normally would have never
entertained. The idea he enjoyed someone hitting him disgusted him yet here he
stood, cock jutting away from his body like a sex-starved fool.

Her body pushed away from his. “I think you want it to
because you think it’s supposed to bother you.” The paddle hit his ass, forcing
his need to rise to the surface. “You think you’re not supposed to enjoy a
woman hitting you. You’re not supposed to be sexually aroused by the few
seconds of anticipation before the paddle strikes your ass.”

He nodded even as she spanked him again.

“You’re not supposed to enjoy the heat, my paddle. Not enjoy
the way it spreads through your entire body. But you are, aren’t you? Your dick
wants to fuck anything in sight just for a moment of respite.”

He hissed sharply as the paddle struck harder. He hated the
fact she was right almost as much as he loved it. A barrage of emotions and
sensations he didn’t understand hit him full force. The breath-stealing hits
she laid across his skin were painful, but not excruciatingly so.

He’d endured more painful punishment at the hands of his father.

One particularly agonizing strike caused him to roll up on
the balls of his feet. The hit hurt. A lot. Far more than the pleasurable
strikes she’d gifted him with to this point.

“Stay with me, Alexander.” Velvety strips of something
brushed against his shoulders, his back and his ass, tickling skin tingling
with pain. “You’re supposed to be here in the moment with me. Not dwelling on
your memories.”

A harsh slap dragged him back into the moment.

Much as she’d done with the paddle on his ass, now she worked
a flogger over the same areas, heightening his desire. She hit, again and
again, over and over with a light touch that was almost ticklish at times.

“I don’t…I don’t understand how…” He trailed off, ashamed at
the mix of emotions he was struggling to deal with. Dazed, he fought to come to
terms with the roller coaster he was on. He’d never met anyone who’d affected
him this strongly. He didn’t want to respond this way, but he couldn’t seem to
help himself. The idea of what was happening was more than a little compelling.

Not to mention frightening.

Elena’s hand smoothed over his shoulder, a comfort in the
onslaught of chaos he was trying to make sense of. “You’re probably wondering
how it’s possible for you to be excited by being hit with my flogger. And my
paddle.”

“Yes.”

“You think you’re some kind of sick deviant pervert because
you were abused as a child. You think that’s why you need it now.”

“Yes.”

This experience had become more emotional than he’d ever
imagined. He’d initially thought this would all be about physical pleasure. But
Elena had taken this to another level entirely. Why was being this helpless,
this exposed, such a turn-on?

“You’d be wrong. Abuse isn’t about control. It’s quite the
opposite. It’s out of control and violent. A means to hurt, or injure, another
human being. The flogger is a stimulus. A tool of pleasure to heighten the
experience. It’s entirely the opposite of abuse. Your control is similar to
your brother’s even if you don’t want to think so.”

He gasped as the flogger struck. “Patrick said he used it to
make himself better, to overcome it.”

“Yes. You use it differently, but the same. You will want to
make yourself overcome it. Face it down head-on and you will be stronger for
it.”

“Then I really am fucked-up in the head.”

“No more so than anyone else. Your father broke you in order
to make himself feel like a man.
He
needed to push you down and suppress
any inclinations you had to be better than he was.
He
was the one with
the insecurities and anger. Not your mother. Not Patrick. Not you. Unlike that
pathetic excuse for a man I may want to break you, but I want you to get
better. I want to build you up, show you that you can be exactly the man you
want to be.” She flicked her wrist, letting the straps of the flogger snap
through the air without touching him.

He didn’t react and she dragged the flogger over the
chiseled muscles of his upper back. She grazed the skin, putting no force
behind the touch at all. “I’m going to continue to use this on you, Alexander.
And I want you to tell me how it makes you feel.”

“Nothing.”

“Liar.” Her raspy voice scraped over his skin. “You feel
something. You just think it weakens you to admit you’re scared.” He started to
protest but stopped with her stern gaze as she came around him. “It’s all
right. It’s just you and me here. You can tell me. Tell me your safeword if you
need to.”

“I’m fine.” He swallowed hard, the dryness in his throat
hurting. “Just overwhelmed. I don’t know what I’m feeling. Or what to expect
with that thing.”

He scowled at the flogger in her hand, which caused her to
smile. “Oh, it’s not a
thing
. It’s an extension of me. And you will feel
pleasure, Alexander. More pleasure and contentment than you have ever thought
possible. I guarantee it.”

Fire scorched his skin, stoking the warmth pooling at the
base of his cock. Each time the unforgiving leather touched him it encouraged
the fire and it wasn’t long before his body had become a raging inferno.

The more the strips licked, the harder his cock became.

Unbelievably instead of straining away from the twitch of
fabric, he reached for it. Sought it out to drive away the darkness that had
been with him since the beginning. Fear pressed in on him, but he swallowed it
back. Screaming in his head it had no place here with Elena—his Elena.

His breath sounded in short, shallow pants as he fought for
control. The slaps slowed then ceased completely. Despite his confusion about
the situation he mourned the loss.

Which only served to confuse him even more.

His heavy pants were the only noise filling the space. Pain
flourished as the flogger connected with his skin again. His lungs filled with
air in preparation to yell, but no sound came. Curiously a tingle low in his
gut distracted him. This up-and-down sensation she kept driving him along with was
dizzying.

The flogger connected again, but harder this time, the pain
slightly more intense. He wanted to wince, cringe away from the location he
suspected she would hit again, but he was bound tightly in place.

His body’s reaction continued to fascinate him.

Elena’s hand snaked around his torso, her delicate fingers
playing through the hair sprinkled along his chest. The flogger hit with more
force. How was it possible to be turned-on by someone hitting him? Especially
after all the years of abuse he’d endured by his father’s fists. He shouldn’t
like this but damn if he didn’t mourn the moments her flogger wasn’t touching
him.

Elena’s warm breath skimmed against his shoulder. “Did you
know the very same chemical is released regardless if the person is
experiencing pain or pleasure? The two are tied together so the trick is to
introduce the right amount of pain so it becomes pleasurable. Curious, isn’t
it? How the body reacts to pain? Some would say it’s one fucked-up evolutionary
cycle that makes the pleasure and pain receptors the same.” Her fingers grazed
through the patch of hair low on his groin. “You were terrified of your father,
right?”

“Yes.”

“Do you cringe away at the thought of me hitting you like
this?” The flogger struck.

This time he did wince. But not because of the pain. A
furious rush of pleasure washed over him, digging down under his defenses.
Jesus, he hadn’t expected to actually
like
this. Especially to this
level. Sure, he’d been curious—but this consuming feeling she’d spoken of?

“No.”

“Yet…I hurt people.”

“Not like him.”

“See the difference?” The tails of her flogger brushed
against his calf as she moved behind him. Her body pressed against his, the
swell of her breasts following the line of his spine as she dipped lower. She
shimmied behind him, her breasts scraping against the heated flesh she’d
lashed.

Need tore through him. Elena’s soft touch drew across his
back and ignited the strips of red skin to burn the fire to rage anew. His gasp
of shock married with his pleasure.

“You excite me, Alexander, with your wonder and enthusiasm. You
aren’t sure if you can let someone else take control, let someone take care of
you even though that’s what you desire. You want so much to hate what you’re
doing right now, but your body is speaking a very different language. You’ll
crave it soon, I promise you.” Her hand gently cupped one of his ass cheeks. “Your
skin marks so beautifully here. Do you want to know how much you excite me?”

“Yes.”

Something shifted against his thigh and air rushed out of
his lungs when he felt her bare breasts graze his skin. The tight points of her
erect nipples pressed against the heated areas she’d marked. Everything inside
him focused on those spots. She moved slowly, pushing the hard nubs against him
even as he strained against his bindings.

“You taste so decadent here.” Her lips parted, her tongue
dipping into the hollow of his back. “Potent. Wanton.
Mine.
” Her hand
skimmed over his shoulder as she stood, her touch featherlight and a sharp
contrast to the licks the leather had delivered. She moved, dipping her hands
under his arms as she pressed her bare chest against his sweaty back. Her short
nails scraped down his torso, scratching lightly over hard ridges of muscles
strung tight with tension.