“I don"t know—” Jay licked his bottom lip and swallowed. “I don"t know what
I"m doing.”
The other man laughed. His eyes softened with the smile. Not an expression
he"d had yet. “You talk too much.” Then he bent his head until they were eye to eye,
a serious look on his face as he said, “Just "cause you wanted to kiss me doesn"t
mean you"re gay. Maybe you were just curious.”
“Not just curious.” Jay kissed him to prove his point. He didn"t think he"d be
able to move away if they stopped. He"d have to jerk off right there in the snow-
covered parking lot, standing next to the bar"s trash bins before attempting to get to
his Jeep.
The kisses turned vigorous. Passionate. Sensual. Dark Eyes tasted like
cigarettes and whiskey. So new. Heady and intense. Jay"s pulse quickened, and
Dark Eyes held him tighter. The man"s body was tense, his muscles on alert. What
was his deal? Wasn"t he enjoying himself? What would it take to smooth away the
tension?
“I"m gonna…” Dark Eyes tilted his head back, arched, and clutched Jay"s hips.
“Jesus. Been too long.”
Jay pushed Dark Eyes to the brick wall beside them. He clasped the front of
the man"s jeans and tore them open. No thought required, he shoved the briefs out
of the way and took another man"s dick in his hand for the first time.
Larger than his own. Longer. Wider. Hotter. A few more strokes and Dark
Eyes groaned. His hips jerked, and he clutched Jay"s upper arm. Cum shot up, some
landing on Jay"s hand, more on the snow at their feet, the smell of it strong, the feel
of it like his own but somehow so different.
Light and laughter spilled out the rear entrance of Sonny"s as the door opened.
Jay stepped back, and Dark Eyes faced the wall while he closed his pants. Two
couples staggered toward an SUV in the front row of the parking lot, laughing as
they went. One pair climbed into the back of the vehicle, and the driver faced Jay as
he held open the front door for a female passenger.
Dark Eyes reached into his leather jacket as he took two steps away. He
removed his smokes, lit one, and leaned against the wall.
Sure. He could be casual. He"d gotten off.
A gust of crisp air rounded the corner of the bar and smacked into Jay. The
sticky cum on his fingers cooled with the wind. His hand trembled as he wiped the
remnants of another man"s pleasure on his jeans.
What was he thinking? He wasn"t ready for this.
“Don"t go,” Dark Eyes said.
42
Sloan Parker
With those two words Jay froze. He wanted more—more kissing, more
touching, more everything. Just more.
After the SUV drove away, Jay slunk back to their previous location without
another thought about right or wrong, guilt or loss—wanting something, anything
to ease the ache. Dark Eyes leaned in. His warm breath hit Jay"s cheek.
“Tell me more stuff you want to do. One thing you"ve dreamed about.”
“A…a…blow—”
Dark Eyes brought their mouths together and gave Jay a long, slow kiss, then
sank to his knees in the snow.
Oh, God. Was this really happening?
The man opened Jay"s pants and lowered his briefs. The cool air reached his
exposed flesh, but nothing diminished the hard-on. Dark Eyes kissed the skin of his
hip, brushing cock and balls with his chin.
Yep. Not another dream. Real. So goddamn real.
The man"s hand shook as he gripped Jay"s cock. How long had it been for him?
Dark Eyes slid his hot lips over the tip of Jay"s dick, and Jay threw his head back
and his hands out, holding the other man by the back of the head. The short hair
felt odd. Why wouldn"t it? It wasn"t like he went around touching other men"s hair.
He tightened his hold, giving in to the pure instinct to hang on to the man
blowing him. Dark Eyes lowered his mouth over Jay"s cock and lifted up. The drag
of his lips sliding along Jay"s length, the man"s exploring hands on his balls, the
intense suction that proved Dark Eyes had experience behind him—it all had Jay"s
body on fire, had him ready to explode.
The orgasm crashed through him, wave after wave. He wanted to keep it at
bay for a few more moments of the amazing blowjob, but he had no warning. He
grunted and hissed, “Shit. Oh shit.”
Dark Eyes held him in the tight heat of his mouth until Jay"s cock grew soft.
The man pulled back, licked his lips, and smiled. He had swallowed Jay"s cum.
No one had—
She didn"t—
No.
No comparisons.
The guy looking blissed-out, on his knees, with a hand still touching Jay"s cock
did not remind him of her. They were nothing alike.
Dark Eyes looked up at him. “What"s your name, kid?”
He swallowed and found his voice. “Jay. Yours?”
The man ran his tongue over the crown of his dick in another slow taste. Jay
flinched and gripped the back of the man"s head tighter. If Dark Eyes kept touching
him, he"d be hard again in short order. He rolled his hips. More of the man"s mouth
wouldn"t be a bad thing. Would it?
Breathe
43
Dark Eyes sat back on his heels. “Lincoln.”
What
? Jay dropped his hand. “Wh-What?”
“Lincoln.” The man smiled. “Weird, I know. My mom had a thing for history
too.”
“M-McCaw?”
“Yeah.” McCaw stood, his eyebrows drawn in. Then his expression softened.
“Hey, you seen me race?”
Oh God…No…No
! Jay slid along the wall.
“Shit, kid. Don"t freak on me.” McCaw reached for him. “You okay?”
Jay backed up more, his pants still open, his dick sticking out. He fumbled to
get himself in order. He pointed at McCaw. “This did not happen. Do you
understand?”
McCaw closed his eyes for a moment, then looked at Jay and said, “No matter
what anyone tells you around here, there"s nothing wrong with being queer.”
“No! It did not happen.” Another gust of cold air whipped around the building.
Jay"s fingers were still sticky. He wiped them on his jeans again.
McCaw leaned back to the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. “Sure,
kid.”
Jay had to get away from what he"d just done. And whom he"d done it with.
Without looking back, he dug into his pocket for his keys and headed toward the
corner of the building. Even if he"d wanted to, he couldn"t ignore the whispered
words from behind him.
“Thanks, Jay.”
He made it to his Jeep but couldn"t get the door open. The piece of shit was
always sticking in the winter months. The summer months too. He tugged and
cursed until he fell to his knees, and his stomach gave up the beers to the snow-
covered parking lot.
The retching ended, and he pressed the back of his shirtsleeve to his mouth
until the threat of tears had passed.
What the hell had he done?
44
Sloan Parker
Chapter Eight
The screwdriver slipped from where Lincoln had it wedged between the top
and bottom sections of the air purifier. He jammed his thumb and dropped the
screwdriver.
Fuck
. He sucked on the tip of his throbbing thumb as the blood rushed
to it.
He"d been working on the damn filter for an hour and still hadn"t managed to
get the lid off to see what was wrong underneath. Without it, Jessica couldn"t
breathe as easy at night. He should head out to get her a new one, but Nancy said
the kind that helped with her allergies was expensive.
And of course, he couldn"t drive anywhere.
He picked up the screwdriver and gave another try at prying open the filter.
The tool slipped again and struck his leg. “Goddammit.”
“Goddammit!” The younger-sounding echo of Lincoln"s curse was followed by a
door banging shut.
Lincoln stood and kneaded his thigh as he made his way into the hall.
Adam was wrenching off his shoes. He kicked one then the other down the hall
without even looking where they went. “Shit.”
“Hey. Your mom let you talk like that?”
“Oh. Uncle Linc. Forgot you were here. Sorry.”
“No big. What"s up with you?”
“Nothing.”
The front door opened. Adam took off for his room as Nancy came into the
house.
“Adam!” she hollered. “Come here.”
He ducked into his room, and the hall wall shook with the slam of his door,
rattling the one on the laundry closet next to the kid"s room. At least the repair on
the sliding doors held up.
Lincoln followed Nancy into the kitchen. She tossed her purse onto the table
and rubbed her closed eyes with the heels of her hands.
“What"s going on?”
She stripped off her coat, revealing the scrubs underneath. “He"s suspended.”
“What for?”
“Fighting.”
Breathe
45
“Not good.”
“No. Where do you think he learned stuff like that? His no-good dad and his
worse stepdad. Some track record, huh?” She dropped into a chair. The metal tips
on each leg scraped along the floor and sounded oddly like the screech of tires.
Lincoln flinched. It didn"t faze Nancy.
“Why was he fighting?” he asked.
“I don"t know. He wouldn"t tell the principal, and he won"t talk to me.”
“Doesn"t sound like Adam.”
Her sad gaze met his. “You don"t know. You haven"t been here, haven"t seen—”
Adam stomped into the kitchen and threw open the fridge door. He grabbed a
bottle of soda. “I"m not apologizing. They can"t make me.”
Nancy bounded to her feet. “They can. And you will. Otherwise, they might not
let you go back to school. They won"t put up with violence. You"re lucky it"s only a
suspension.”
“Yeah?” Adam kicked the fridge door shut. “I was lucky Big Jim from the
football team was on my side.”
Lincoln couldn"t hide the smirk. Nancy threw a scowl his way, and he backed
off on the grin.
“I had a reason,” Adam said. “There was—”
“I don"t care about your reasons.” Nancy pressed her hands to her hips.
“You"re not listening to me.” Adam waved the bottle of soda in the air as he
spoke. He"d be lucky if it had fizz left when he was done.
“
You’re
not listening. They were clear about what you have to do before you
can return to school.”
Adam jabbed the bottle of soda toward her. “Screw that.”
“Watch it.” Lincoln stepped forward. “Don"t talk to your mom like that.”
The kid turned the soda bottle on him. “I don"t have to listen to you. You"re not
my father.”
“I"ve got this.” Nancy glared at Lincoln.
“I"m out of here.” Adam spun around to leave.
“Nuh-uh,” she said. “Get back here. I had to leave work early. We"re talking
about this now.”
Adam kept going. Lincoln tried to stop the kid before he could get through the
kitchen doorway. Adam tucked his arm to his chest and shrank sideways. His left
side smacked into the doorjamb.
Lincoln moved toward him. “Jesus. You okay?”
“Just tripped,” he muttered and left the room.
Lincoln spun around as soon as Adam"s bedroom door closed. “Dammit, Nancy.
Did he hit the kids?”
46
Sloan Parker
“I told you, no.”
“Then what was that?” He pointed toward where Adam had flinched.
“I don"t know. You"re kinda scary.” She tried for a smile, but it wasn"t real. She
couldn"t fool him.
“He"s never been scared of me.” Lincoln glanced at the kitchen doorway. “Is it
"cause of the jail thing?”
“No.” She slumped into the chair. “Before you, every guy who"s lived here
scared him.” Lincoln sat next to her. He reached for her hand, but she pulled away
from him. “I can take care of my kids. And myself.”
“I know you can.” He went for her hand again and didn"t let her get away from
him. “I want to help.”
“I appreciate it. I do. I appreciate that he"s got one man in his life who isn"t a
piece of shit. But I"ve got to fix things with him. It"s part of the reason I wanted Mel
to leave. I saw the signs. Adam was changing. The anger, the fights. Mel wasn"t
good for him.”
“He wasn"t good for any of you. Adam wasn"t like this before I left.” Somehow
the asshole stepdad had managed to change Adam from a typical looking-for-fun
teenager to a scared-in-his-own-home kid. If only Lincoln could show Adam… What?
That life fucking sucked sometimes? Maybe moving in with them wasn"t a great
idea.
“I"ve made mistakes,” Nancy said. “And I need to fix it.” She patted Lincoln"s
hand. “And you can"t spend all your time worrying about me, or my kids. You"ve got
to get back to your life. See your friends. Meet someone new.” She grinned. “Have
some hot, kinky sex.”
He snorted. The night before at Sonny"s had been hot. A damn handjob had
never had him so undone. If only the kid hadn"t freaked. It wasn"t easy figuring out
you were gay in small-town America.
“You never had trouble finding guys,” she said with a laugh. “Even in
Edgefield.”