Brides and Betrayal (Reconciled and Redeemed Book 1) (2 page)

“We would still offer the traditional in-store shopping experience. But today’s brides are busy, and the in-home party offers them an opportunity to choose their dress at a more convenient time.”

“Less time off, less hassle, and decrease the stress by doing it in a comfortable environment.” Hunter nodded his head. Holly’s blue eyes twinkled with delight as she could see he was warming to the idea.

“And Anya already owns the space, so we...”

“But that means nights and weekends you are going to be gone.”

The insinuation slithered through his words – it was always there. Holly struggled to maintain the anger welling up in her chest. “I need this. I want to pursue this.”

“Why do you need it? I provide everything you could ever want.” His hand swept outward to showcase the room.

Tears stung the back of Holly’s eyes. He was right. She had a house that was far larger than the two of them needed. She drove a nice car and had a jewelry box full of baubles that he lavished on her, despite her protests. If she needed anything, she could just go out and get it at a moment’s notice. However, what she needed now was for him to understand.

“I don’t need the money. I need the accomplishment. I need the....” Holly didn’t even know how to voice what she needed. Maybe that was because she didn’t quite know herself. All she knew was that she had a gnawing in her soul, an ache for something more than what she had now. She didn't know what that something was, but she hoped that the store would fill that void.

With a sigh she tried to explain in a calmer tone. “I feel worthless. I sit around this house all day with nothing to do. We have no children, I have no job, and you have even hired someone to clean our house.”

“Do you want to have children? Is that what...?”

“No!” Holly interjected. “You know I’m not ready...I mean, I am not sure what kind of mother I’m going to make.” A shadow passed over her features.

“So if it is not the kids, and your work with the church isn’t satisfying...” Hunter laughed. “If you want to clean the house yourself - fine, I will fire the housekeeping services.”

His sarcasm snapped the last thread of patience she had. Her passionate outburst escaped her lips before she could stop it. “What I want is to be let out of my box!”

Hunter’s smile faded at her fury. “I don’t keep you in a box.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, which was heaving from the exertion of her breath. When she finally spoke, she laid a hand on his arm. “I know you love me – at least, I think you must love me because you are so jealous.” The second half of her statement came as an off-handed murmur.

Hunter stiffened at her remark. “I’m not jealous, but since you bring it up, what is it exactly that you are missing? You spend time with Anya, you have activities at the church, and you don’t want kids. So what you want must be more than...what was it you called it? Accomplishment?”

Holly jumped up and turned her back to him for a moment, gritting her teeth as she tried to gain control over her mounting anger, but she was having little success battling her emotions.

She hated that accusatory look in his eyes. It pulled her back to her childhood, back to her parents, back to that feeling of unworthiness.

Don’t let me fall back in that pit, God,
she prayed.

She whirled around, her hair tumbling over one shoulder in a fiery red waterfall. “What I want is a little trust. Our love is nothing without trust, and you don’t trust me.”

“I do trust you.” Hunter rose from his perch on the end of their bed. Coming to stand before her, he grabbed her hands in a gentle hold, slowly pulling her toward him. Cupping her face, his words came out as a tender caress, but to Holly, they were like sandpaper on her heart. “You are a very beautiful woman. Temptation is everywhere, and...”

She threw off his touch. “You do not trust me! You constantly insinuate that I am cheating when I’ve been nothing but faithful.”

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her back into his embrace, but Holly halted his kisses, giving voice to her thoughts. “I love you, but I am not your mother, nor am I Janessa.”

His deep blue eyes turned stormy at her words and he took a step back. “They are cheating, lying...” After a few moments, he regained his composure. “I
hope
you aren’t them.”

His words slid down her heart with the finesse of steamroller. Tears stung her eyes, but she battled them. She had learned long ago tears never washed away the pain. “You
hope
I’m not like them - but you
think
I could be.”

Her eyes met his, challenging him to deny it.

“No, I don’t!” His bellow washed over her with shame. Despite the loudness of his protest, she heard his doubt.

A few moments passed without a word. A silent battlefield encircled by their arms. She was the first to raise the white flag.

“I love you, Hunter. Always.”

Hunter reached up and tenderly brushed aside her hair, letting the molten red mass run through his fingers. “My dad loved my mother, and I know she loved him. But she just couldn’t resist all the temptations that were out there.”

Holly looked away so Hunter wouldn’t see the haunted expression in her eyes. “I am not your mom.” Her words were just a whisper, as if repeating them would end this discussion once and for all.

Hunter bent down, gently pulling her face toward his. Despite her efforts, one defiant tear slid down her cheek. “Hey, don’t cry. I am sorry I made you cry.” He kissed her cheeks free from the tears. “I love you, and I just don’t want our marriage destroyed over something I could prevent.”

His words were meant to calm Holly, but they did nothing to soothe her. She placed her hand along his cheek, her thumb brushing against his dimple. “But you can’t control everything - and you are hurting us by keeping me hidden away here.”

Hunter gently kissed her forehead. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Holly’s arms encircled his neck and she threaded her fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck. “I know you don’t.”

When he would have kissed her, she stopped him. “But you need to remember what I promised to you on our wedding day.”

“Always Yours, Always Faithful...” Hunter brushed a strand of hair from her forehead, tracing his finger down the side of her cheek. She momentarily relished in the feel of his touch against her skin, but when she closed her eyes, all she could see was her stepmother’s face.
Reign in those desires or you will end up exactly like your mother.

Holly stepped out of Hunter’s embrace, turning from him so she wouldn’t be tempted by his handsome face. “God put us together, and I’m not going to let anything or anyone take that apart.”

He turned her toward him. “Then don’t pull away from me.”

He cupped her face and brushed the tip of his nose against hers. She closed her eyes against the surge of desire that wound its way up her belly while the whispers of condemnation slithered through her brain. The result was a kiss that yearned for release, and a heart that cried to be loved.

T
hree days had passed since their argument. Now, as Hunter sat in church, he watched Holly walking toward him. Her tall, willowy form was draped in a sapphire blue chiffon dress, and the small sleeves fluttered over her arms as she walked. The cinched waist accented her figure and the color of the dress complimented her deep auburn hair that tumbled around her slender shoulders.

Her pale pink lips were not smiling, and her eyes, which matched the sapphire blue of her dress, didn’t hold any smile in their shiny depths either. Her eyes were cold -
well
, Hunter amended,
colder than usual.

No
, he corrected,
Holly is anything but cold
- she was aloof, haunted, or maybe untouchable.
Elusive
, he thought with a smile.

Holly had been barely twenty at the time he met her, struggling to put herself through college as the front desk receptionist at his company in downtown Pittsburgh. She also worked a second job on the weekends at a high-end bridal shop in the cultural district to earn extra cash.

His first wife had left him for another man and he had been leery of dating again. However, there was something about Holly that drew him away from his fears. She had a tough edge to her that captivated his attention, and despite his attempts to ask her out, she had staunchly refused any of his advances. He was never one to chase skirts around a desk like a perverted old business man, but she had caught his eye and he wasn’t about to let go.

Elusive
, he thought again, but his smile dimmed. Now, that same elusiveness scared him - leaving him wondering if disinterest in him is what fueled her distance. She would respond to his touch and kisses as if she were his alone - but she held back a piece of herself. There was something in her eyes that made him feel like he would never really know her, never really have her as his own.

Holly sat down next to him without even turning to grace him with a smile, her back stiff and straight in the pew.

“How was the Women’s Bible study class?”

“Fine.” He counted that as the fifth single-word answer she had given him today. Most of his questions had been simply met with a stiff nod.

He watched her shoulders dip a little, and she finally turned his way. “It was good.”

“Honey,” Hunter placed his arm along the back of the pew. “I know you have a meeting for that thing today.”

“The summer outreach event.” Her tone had regained a crisp air to it.

“Yes, the summer outreach event.” He brushed his thumb across the back of her shoulder, sending the sleeve of her dress fluttering with his movements. “Would you mind skipping it?”

She stared at him for a moment, her blue eyes searching his face as she said, “Or better yet, why don’t you join me?”

His wife was very active serving in the church, but he refused to join her. There was Anna, the children’s church director who was three times divorced, and Bob, the Adult Sunday School teacher who last month admitted he struggled with watching pornography years ago.
So many hypocrites
, Hunter thought.

Slowly drawing his arm from the back of the pew, he faced forward, watching as others wandered into the church. One lady stopped twice on her way to her seat to give someone a hug, but the gesture was just about as warm as Holly’s attitude toward him.
Just going through the motions.

However, Hunter didn’t want that for his marriage. With a reluctant smile, he turned to her and nodded his head. “Okay, I’ll join you.”

One delicate auburn brown furrowed for just a second. “Really?”

“Sure, why not?” He leaned close to her and said, “And then we will talk about this Anya business after.”

Holly’s smile faded, and Hunter guessed he had ticked her off again. He felt the distance separate them - and distance was what always terrified him.

His mother had been so distant with his father when her affairs began. His mother was never there - even when she was there. Cold and aloof at dinner, lost in her own thoughts. But then, all of a sudden, things changed. Her smile had returned, but it wasn’t until later that he would learn the smile came from the man she was having an affair with.

As they stood for worship, he stole a glance down at his wife. She turned her head and peeked at him under her lashes before turning back to the service. She wouldn’t cheat on him, would she? After all he’d been through with his own parents, with his first wife...Holly knew how much adultery angered him. She wouldn’t - would she?

He tried to focus on the words to the song, but his concerns fired through his head like cannons on the battlefield. He sang – but he was not cognizant of what he was saying. He listened to the sermon, but the words were drowned out by the battle raging in his mind. Each time he analyzed her behavior, dissected her words, or investigated her attitude, it was like another reverberating boom.

His head was still reeling as they went out to lunch after service.

“So,” Hunter began after they had been seated. “What are we doing at this summertime event?”

“Summer Outreach Event,” her tone was cool, and he reached across the table for her hand. It was sometime before she turned her hand and laced her fingers with his. The pause caused panic to swell within his chest.

“Yeah, that.” He distractedly said as he rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. His misgivings about her faithfulness resurfaced, especially when she coolly disentangled her fingers from his, tucking her hands into her lap underneath the table.

“What did I say now?” Hunter leaned back in the chair, defeated.

The waiter came and took their orders, saving her from having to answer him right away. After the waiter left, she took a sip of her water before speaking. “Look, if you don’t want to join me, you don’t have to. This is about the community - not about watching over me so I don’t do something wrong.”

Despite her cool expression, he could tell her emotions were boiling up. He closed his eyes, shaking his head as if he could shake off her notions. But maybe she was right. Maybe that is why he had said he would go.

“Those weren’t my intentions. I am trying to share something with you. It is what you are always complaining about.”

His choice of words must have not been correct, because she inhaled slowly, before whispering, “I’m not complaining, I’m expressing.”

“Well, you’ve been
expressing
a lot lately, and I am trying to listen.”

Her countenance conveyed that she was weary of the arguing. Her tense shoulders relaxed and the hardness around her eyes softened. “I am sorry.” She reached across the table and captured his hand. “I let my emotions get ahead of me and sometimes I say things I regret. I didn’t mean to nag.”

This time she was the one to run a soothing thumb across his knuckles. “I just want you to know that you can trust me. Please...” her eyes misted and she turned her head. “I just need you to...I want you to think I’m worthy of your trust.”