Brody (4 page)

Gaping at me, Macy asked, “He showed up in the middle of the night?”

“Uh, yeah. Didn’t I mention that part?” I asked, picking an imaginary piece of lint off my straight black skirt.

“No, you didn’t,” she said, looking amused. “So let me get this straight. He shows up at your door in the middle of the night. He’s vulnerable and confused. You’re both single and still hot for each other, and
nothing
happened?”

I diverted my eyes to the bank of windows lining the south wall of my office. I should have known better than to think I could keep anything from her. “We may have kissed… a few times,” I said, barely loud enough for her to hear.

“Ah ha, I knew it,” Macy said, clapping once. “I knew you couldn’t be alone with him without something happening.”

“That’s not true,” I said, suddenly defensive. I didn’t appreciate my sister’s assumption that I had no self-control with Brody… even if there was a grain of truth to that. “We were in Colorado for five whole days for Jaci and Nex’s wedding and nothing happened.”

“Only because you had a boyfriend. Can you honestly tell me if Stephan wasn’t a factor, you wouldn’t have slept with him?”

I’d asked myself that question dozens of times and still didn’t have the answer. “I don’t know. I just know I’m glad nothing happened. It would only have confused me more.”

Macy leaned forward, looking concerned. “Hey, what’s wrong? Aren’t you happy that Brody’s back in your life?”

“I’m not sure how I feel. Just when I think I’m getting over him, I’m forced to confront my feelings in Colorado and realize I’m not really over him at all. So I break up with Stephan and think I just need to give myself a little more time to get over Brody. Then he shows up on my doorstep out of the blue, after I haven’t seen or heard from him in months, and sends me into another tailspin. It’s so frustrating!”

The phone on my desk rang, and Macy glanced at it before she said, “How about we finish this conversation over dinner tonight? Chinese food at your place?”

“Uh, Brody might still be there,” I said, crossing to my desk. I picked up the phone, and asked my assistant to hold the call for a minute.

“What do you mean he
might
be there? You don’t know for sure?”

“No, I didn’t want to ask what his plans might be, so I just kind of left it up to him.”

Macy narrowed her eyes, looking annoyed as she reached for her purse. “No worries, we can eat somewhere else. I’ll call you later.”

***

Brody

I was sitting on Riley’s couch, eating a bag of potato chips and watching an action flick, when my favorite little hellion stormed in, looking as if she were ready to wage war. I’d known Macy since she was a little girl, and I still saw her as the cute little thing with a button nose who’d cried her eyes out when I cruelly told her Santa wasn’t real.

“Hey, girlie. What’re you doing here?”

She fisted her hand on her hip, spitting fire with those blazing blue eyes that made tough guys weak in the knees. “What am I doing here? What the hell are you doing here?”

I pointed at the TV. “Watching a movie. Having a snack.” I held out the bag of sour cream and onion chips. “Want one?”

“No, I don’t want one,” she said, slapping the bag away.

I shrugged and grabbed another handful before setting the bag on the coffee table.

“What I want is an explanation.”

“About?” I crunched away, then she grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. “Hey, it was just getting to the good part!”

“If you don’t pay attention, you’re going to be a headline on the six o’clock news tonight because I’m going to push you off the balcony.”

I chuckled at the threat. Macy was about five feet tall and a hundred pounds. I didn’t think she could throw her twenty-pound cat off the balcony, much less a two-hundred-twenty pound guy.

“You think this is funny?” she demanded, tapping her little foot against the polished hardwood floor.

“No,” I said, trying to keep a straight face. “Not at all.” I leaned forward, propping my elbow on my knees as I debated whether she’d go ballistic if I made a grab for the chip bag. “Tell me what’s got you so bent out of shape.”

“The way you’re treating my sister, for starters.”

Okay, that got my attention. “What’s that supposed to mean? I haven’t done anything to Riley.”

“You mean aside from breaking her heart?”

I’d beaten myself up about that enough already, but Macy had every right to get her shots in too. She loved Riley and wanted to protect her. I’d have reacted the same way if I thought someone was playing one of my brothers.

“Okay,” I said, brushing chip crumbs off my jeans. “Let me have it. Take your best shot.”

“Why are you here?” she asked, her voice deadly quiet. “You guys broke up. So what makes you think you have the right to run to her every time you have a problem?”

“I don’t run to her every time I have a problem. Just this time.” It wasn’t the first time I’d wanted to reach out to her since Colorado. I’d been fighting the urge every damn day. But something about seeing the old man had driven me right back into her arms.

“How long are you staying?” she asked, perching on the end of a chair.

“I don’t know. I have another event in a couple of days.” For the first time in my life, I wasn’t itching to get back out on the road. Being here, surrounded by Riley’s things- her scent, her favorite clothes, and my memories- made me more content than I’d been in a long time.

“Don’t you know what it does to her when you breeze in and out of her life like this?” Macy asked, dropping her purse behind her on the chair. “It kills her. It’s not fair for you to keep jerking her around like this, Brody. For once, think about someone other than yourself!”

I covered my face with my hands, not because I was ashamed of my actions, though I was, but because I couldn’t stand to hear the truth.

Macy inched down on the chair and covered my knee with her hand. “You know I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. You were like family to me. But I saw how hard it was for my sister to break up with you, to come to terms with the fact that you two would never have the happy ending she’d always wanted.”

“You don’t think I wanted to give her that?” I looked Macy in the eye, pleading with her to understand. “You don’t think I tried? Believe me, I did.”

“Fine, maybe you did,” she said, leaning back in the chair. “Let’s say I believe you. The fact is, you came to terms with the fact you couldn’t. So did my sister. So again I’ll ask: why are you back in her life, Brody? Has something changed? Have
you
changed?”

Macy had never been afraid to ask the tough questions, especially when she was going to bat for someone she loved. “Honestly? I don’t know if I’ve changed. The only thing I can say for sure is that living without your sister has been…” No words could describe how empty I’d felt since she broke up with me. “It’s been hell.”

“I don’t understand you,” she said, shaking her head. “What do you want out of life?”

There was a time when I’d thought the big house, designer clothes, and fancy cars would make me happy. Now that I’d had all that, I knew it was just a Band-Aid solution. Those things had made me feel better for a while, but eventually the pain seeped in again.

“I’ve been asking myself that question for a long time,” I said, trying to be honest with her. “And I still don’t have the answer.”

“Don’t you think you should have figured that out before you showed up on my sister’s doorstep?” She blew her side-swept blond bangs out of her eyes.

“Yeah, I probably should have. But last night, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was just acting on impulse.”

“Yeah, and who do you think is going to have to deal with the fallout once you’re gone again?”

“Riley.” Macy was right. I was a selfish bastard who didn’t deserve her sister. “I’ll talk to her. I’ll try to make her understand.”

“Understand what?” she asked, fisting her hand on the arm of the chair. “How the hell can you make her understand what you’re thinking and feeling when you don’t even understand it?”

Blowing out a frustrated breath, I said, “Look, Mace, I know you’re pissed at me. I get that. You have every reason to be, but what happens between me and your sister is our business. Not yours.”

“Really?” She clenched her jaw as she leaned over the arm of the chair. “Who the hell do you think took her calls in the middle of the night when she was crying her eyes out over you? Who do you think flew in to take care of her after she finally found the courage to break up with you?” Narrowing her eyes, she stabbed her chest with her thumb. “I did. I made sure she ate and slept, and I listened when she wanted to talk. I held her when she felt like crying. I helped her go through your things and ship them to you. I helped her box up all of the mementos from your relationship and put them in storage. So don’t you dare tell me I don’t have a right to be concerned. This does affect me!”

“Fine, point taken,” I said, raising my hands in supplication. “But you can rest assured I’m not here to hurt her. I love her. I’ve never stopped loving her.”

“But your brand of love isn’t what she needs. Can’t you see that?” she cried desperately. “She needs a man she can depend on. She needs a friend and a lover, someone who wants the kind of future she does.”

“I know that.”

After a long pause, she said, “Riley said you saw your father last night; that’s why you needed someone to talk to.”

“Yeah.”

“I know it’s none of my business,” she said, sounding wary, “but whether you believe it or not, I do still care about you.”

I chuckled, giving her a sidelong look. “Really? You have a funny way of showing it.”

“Shut up and listen to me,” she said, crossing her arms.

“Fine, say your piece.” I glanced at my Rolex. “My brother’s going to be here in a few though.”

“Which one?” she asked, sitting up a little straighter.

“Kane.”

She bit her lip. “Really? How’s he been?”

“Fine. You were saying something about—”

“Right,” she said, shaking her head as though to clear it. “If you have a chance to make things right with your dad, maybe you should.”

I glared at her. “You’re right. It’s none of your business.”

“I don’t care,” she said, raising her chin. “You can get pissed at me if you want to, but I’m going to say what’s on my mind, whether you like it or not.”

Since I was in her sister’s apartment, I couldn’t very well kick her out, nor could I leave with Kane already on his way. “Fine. What do you know about my issues with my old man?”

“Just what you’ve told me.”

Given all the years I’d been with her sister, Macy and I had discussed my parents several times—my mother more than my excuse for a father—so she knew the gist of the story. “And?”

“I can’t help but wonder whether you’re having trouble committing to my sister because of your issues with your father?”

“What do you mean?” Damn, she was hitting too close to home.

“Maybe you think you’ll be the kind of husband and father he was, and it scares you.” Her voice softened when she said, “I get it. You had a lousy example growing up, but you’ve also had a good example. Look at Mac and Ryker. I know they hit a rough patch a while back, but Riley says they’re back together and happier than ever.”

“Yeah, they are.” Thank God. My brother had been a mess living without his wife and boys.

“So maybe you’ll be more like Ryker than your father. My point is, you won’t know until you try.”

“Try?” My voice sounded strangled. “You don’t try at being a husband and father. You don’t get to practice, to make mistakes and—”

“Sure, you do. I watched my father make plenty of mistakes while we were growing up. That didn’t make my mother or his kids love him any less.”

“That’s different,” I argued. “You guys are still a family.”

“We’re still a family because we learned how to forgive each other,” she said gently. “Maybe it’s time for you to learn to forgive your dad. I’m not saying you have to have a relationship with him. That’s your choice. But holding on to all this anger is eating you up inside. Anyone can see that.” She moved to sit on the table in front of me, so our faces were inches apart, and she grabbed my chin and looked me in the eye. “I wouldn’t be wasting my breath with you if I didn’t believe in my heart that you’re the man my sister was meant to spend her life with.”

I was shocked when tears burned my eyes, forcing me to swallow. “You can still say that after everything I’ve put her through?”

She shrugged as she let her hand fall. “Even the best relationships go through their ups and downs. Everyone knows that.”

“I thought you came here to warn me to stay the hell away from Riley?”

“Only if you have no intention of changing.” She looked at me quizzically, as though she was trying to figure me out. “But something tells me you really want things to be different this time. Am I right?”

“I’d give anything to make up for the mess I’ve made with Ri, but I’m not even sure that’s possible. How could I expect her to trust me again?”

“That’s a good question,” Macy said. “One I can’t answer.”

The phone beside us rang in a series of short rings that let us know someone was in the lobby. “That must be Kane.”

“I’ll let you get that while I use the restroom.” She jumped up and made a beeline for the main bathroom at the end of the hall.

After buzzing Kane up, I rehearsed what I wanted to say to him about seeing the old man last night. Ryker was out of town on business and Nex was still in the honeymoon phase with Jaci, so I didn’t want to bother either of them. Besides, Kane and I were only two years apart, so we had similar memories of our… dad. Referring to him as that still felt wrong, like a betrayal to the mother who’d earned our love and respect, unlike
him.

“Hey,” Kane said when I opened the door. “What the hell are you doing here? Since when are you and Riley…?” His voice drifted off when he caught sight of Macy.

He hadn’t seen her in a few years, and I tried seeing her through my brother’s eyes. She was definitely all grown up… and a knock-out, just like her older sister.