“Why not?”
“Look around. My life is a scam. I own nothing. I owe everything to everyone. Christ, I still owe money on this table.”
“This table?”
“Yes. I bought it after Eddie flipped the old one and broke it. Had to charge it. Now I’m paying interest on a fucking dining room table.”
Anna wanted to scream or breakdown, but she knew it would result in nothing. This was why she kept herself busy with the restaurant. She felt lost not at work, like she was just sitting around, waiting for something else bad to happen. At least working she was moving, telling herself that each step she took was a step towards some kind of solution.
“Call him,” Ashley said.
“I don’t want to.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Fine. I do. But I’m not. He’s a big rockstar with problems.”
“And you’re a woman who he has eyes for. He slept in bed with you. Touching you. But not crossing the line you set.”
Anna’s body tingled thinking of Davey’s fingers running along her bare skin. Moving her hair. His hard body against hers. The sight of his muscles. The bulge in his pants.
“You’re blushing right now, Anna,” Ashley said. “What are you thinking about?”
“You know what I’m thinking about,” Anna replied.
“Then call him. Do you realize what you can say right now?”
“What can I say?”
“You can say...
I’m going to call someone from Chasing Cross because I have their cell phone number
.”
Anna smiled. “I know, it sounds cool.”
“You know, the twenty year old version of yourself would be pulling your hair right now.”
“I’m not twenty anymore, and neither are you.”
Ashley casually lifted her middle finger.
“It’s true,” Anna said.
“Don’t change the subject,” Ashley said.
“I am. I’m not talking about Davey anymore.”
“I think you are,” Ashley said.
“Oh yeah, why’s that?”
Ashley smiled with a little bit of her tongue showing between her teeth. It was her cute, innocent but bitchy smile she offered when guilty... or turned on. Anna had seen it used for both purposes, sometimes at the same time.
“What did you do?” Anna asked.
Ashley moved her right hand to the table, holding Anna’s cell phone.
“When did you grab that?”
“When I answered your house phone.”
“What did you do, Anna?”
“Sent a text...”
“Who did you text?”
“You saved his number in your phone. You saved it as Davey Chasing Cross.”
“You didn’t...”
Ashley slid the phone to Anna and Anna opened the messages.
Come over. We need to talk.
“He doesn’t know where I live,” Anna teased.
“Did you give him your cell phone number?”
Anna’s mouth fell open. Before she could say a word, her doorbell rang.
No... way...
(15)
Something about the text message didn’t seem right but Davey quickly chased those feelings away. He got Anna’s address the old fashioned way, looking it up. Granted, he had to assume it was the address but since there was only one Anna Caspan listed, it had to be her. After calling Danny and begging him to play it cool with Peter about him being gone, he was off, taking a pitch black car with tinted windows.
It surprised him how far away Anna actually lived. Through the city, the buildings became smaller until they were all gone. The roads took him to neighborhoods, places where people came to have families and nice lives. When he found Anna’s house, he parked the car and stared at it.
She certainly didn’t live like a woman in debt. Davey couldn’t help but feel intrigued to know more. Thinking of Cassy made his lip curl and his heart tear. When he heard himself speaking Cassy’s name all he could think of was Donald. And thinking of Donald just brought him right back to Anna. He’d have to tell her everything, no matter what. Chris already opened the can of worms and now Davey knew he had to clean it up.
The house looked like a suburban dream. Neighbors on each side, a mailbox out front standing next to a small lamp post. The edges of the walkway were decorated with golden and orange flowers. A few fat bees buzzed from flower to flower, appreciating their existence. The walkway was made up of uneven cuts of stone and were slightly colored. Some white, some grey, some a reddish tint. It all led to the porch. Two round, green pillars, matching the color of the shudders on the house. Hanging plant baskets on each side of the porch, perfectly centered. There was even a set of furniture on the porch with a baby blue bucket that appeared to contain citronella. Davey walked over and smelled it, confirming that’s what it was.
Such an intense feeling of
home
. Davey wasn’t sure when the last time was that he really felt home. Sure, the breaks were nice, splitting up and going back to Colorado to chill. But that became like a routine. The same bars, the same people, the same nights of getting on those super small stages and jamming. While they were moments Davey would hold forever in his heart, those were the nights he went home, alone, and realized that being alone sucked with each passing day.
Ten years ago, commitment meant taking a woman out for breakfast the next morning. Now, he would give his heart to someone willing to take it. And right then, as he pressed the doorbell, he hoped to find Anna answering the door with her hand out.
Anna answered the door with a look of shock on her face.
“I’m taking you weren’t expecting me,” Davey said as his eyes walked up and down her body.
He couldn’t stop himself.
She was just too beautiful. If he didn’t take that chance then, he may not get it because he fully expected Anna to slam the door.
She started to close it but instead snuck out onto the porch.
“Davey... I’m really sorry...”
“Who texted me?” he asked.
“My friend. Ashley. She doesn’t believe... well, us.”
“Us? What did you say about
us
?” Davey smiled, locking eyes with Anna. He could feel it. He could feel it in the way she looked at him.
Anna shook her head.
“Anna, listen, I know Chris came to the room. And I know he said stuff...”
“It’s not my business,” Anna said. “Okay?”
“No, it’s not okay.” Davey felt his blood burning already.
How could Anna be so calm? How could she just accept it? Part of Davey wanted to fall in love with her for it but part of him wanted to scream. These were effects of her ex-boyfriend emotionally destroying her.
“I didn’t lie to you,” he said, “but I didn’t tell you everything.”
“I didn’t ask,” Anna said. “We were just hanging out. One night.”
“That’s not what I want,” Davey said. “I don’t want one night. I told you that.” He looked around the porch at the perfect neighborhood. Nobody was looking but he couldn’t chance it. He leaned in, leaving almost no space between their mouths. “That’s why we didn’t have sex.”
Anna’s cheeks turned red instantly like two small apples. “What are you doing here then?”
“I want a chance to talk to you about everything, okay? To explain everything.”
“Why? I’m just...”
“I can’t stop thinking about you.” Davey said it loud enough that Anna put a finger to her mouth. Davey opened his arms and yelled it again. “Anna, I can’t stop thinking about you!”
Anna laughed and reached for him. Davey jumped back. He turned and cupped his hands to his mouth.
“Did you all hear me? I can’t stop thinking about Anna!”
Anna took a handful of Davey’s shirt and pulled. He fell back on purpose, forcing Anna to put her hands around him.
“This is wrong,” Davey whispered. He spun so fast that Anna had no time to respond. His hands were around her, his fingers interlocked at her lower back.
Davey held Anna, both sets of their lips parted, knowing what they each wanted and what came with it. As Davey’s heart twisted for what felt like the hundredth time that day, he realized maybe this was why some people didn’t believe in love. Without some kind of pain, some kind of challenge, love wasn’t the same feeling. The longing feeling, the hopeless feeling, but yet the comfort of it all. In that moment, staring into Anna’s eyes, nothing else mattered to Davey. Everything became background noise.
“What’s wrong?” Anna whispered.
“Nothing. Not now.”
“You just said...
this is wrong
...”
“I meant with you with your arms around me. I want to hold you. You don’t need to worry about being taken care of anymore, Anna. Not with me. I know I have... I have my own stuff waiting, but that doesn’t matter when I look at you. I want to hold you to show you what it’s like.”
Anna swallowed. “What?”
“To show you what it’s like to be vulnerable but protected.”
Anna was on her toes a second later, her lips touching Davey. The sudden move surprised him, especially on Anna’s front porch. He went along with the kiss, the thought of tasting her lips burning in his mind since they last spoke.
They kissed, lips to lips, over and over, letting the seconds fall around them.
Davey smiled as an idea came to him.
When the kiss stopped, he licked his lips and looked at Anna. His nerves jumped. He couldn’t believe he was nervous to ask her a question. Maybe it was the potential fear of rejection from Anna. In the past, rejection didn’t exist. Rejection represented opportunity. But with Anna, rejection meant heartache. And Davey’s heart was frail already.
“Anna, is everything o...”
Davey looked beyond Anna and saw a woman standing at the door. At first glance, Davey thought it was another version of Anna. One with straight hair.
“Hey,” the woman said, staring at Davey.
Anna looked at the woman and said, “It’s okay, Ashley. I think you know...”
“You’re Davey from Chasing Cross,” Ashley said.
“That I am.”
Ashley looked at Anna. “You weren’t full of crap.”
“No, I’m not,” Anna said.
Ashley looked back at Davey. “You’re really here.”
“I’m here,” Davey said.
The moment teetered on awkward until Anna reached back and ran her finger along the bottom of Ashley’s bottom lip, snapping her out of her shocked trance.
“What are you doing?” Ashley snapped at Anna.
“Wiping up the drool,” Anna teased.
Davey laughed, loving seeing a lighter side of Anna. Seeing her as a waitress dealing with Cassy bothered him, and seeing her as a worried woman just didn’t fit. But seeing her standing in the hotel room, her hair wet, playing guitar, feeling her body in bed, and now seeing her joke with Ashley, it made Davey’s heart swell even more.
“Okay, fine, I get it,” Ashley said. “You and Davey from Chasing Cross were... or did... or...”
“Tell you what,” Davey said, “why don’t you call me Davey? Leave out the Chasing Cross part. We’re on a break from touring anyway.”
“Wow,” Ashley whispered.
Davey released his hold on Anna and put a hand out for Ashley to shake. She did and smiled. She took a deep breath.
“Do you want an autograph?” Davey asked.
“What am I, a thirteen year old girl?”
“You have that look in your eye,” Anna said.
“I could use a picture of this,” Ashley said. “Nobody would believe me.”
She produced a cell phone and Davey winced. “You know what? I had a bad experience with cell phones and pictures.”
“Ashley, stop it,” Anna said. “Just be normal.”
“Okay, I am normal,” Ashley said. “Sorry. I guess I’ll be taking off then.”
“Am I interrupting?” Davey asked. “If so, I’ll come back. I mean, I got that text...”
Anna pointed at Ashley.
“Ah, that makes sense now,” Davey said. “Well, thank you then.” Davey pointed at Anna and spoke to Ashley. “She’s a tough one to crack.”
Ashley touched Davey’s shoulder. “You have no idea.”
Ashley’s cheeks turned red and she moved her hand in a hurry.
“I’ll come back in an hour or two,” Davey said.
“NO!” both women said at the same time.
Davey put his hands up.
“No, it’s fine,” Ashley said. “I’m leaving. Seriously. I have to get home anyway. My... you know... is there.”
“Your husband? Child?” Anna said.
“Yes,” Ashley said. “My family.”
“Well, it was nice to meet you,” Davey said. “Maybe you’ll get that picture someday... if Anna gives me another chance.”