Authors: Olivia Evans
“Shit,” Chloe croaked, pressing her palms against her eyes in an attempt to push away the memory, to stop the very dangerous direction of her thoughts. She jumped when there was a soft knock at the door. Looking at the clock, her brows drew together in confusion. It was after one in the morning. On her tiptoes, Chloe moved to the door and peeked through the peephole. Her breath caught when she saw Reid on the other side. She spun around and pressed her body against the door as she looked around the room in a panic, searching for some physical clue that would give away the not so innocent thoughts that had been running through her mind.
There was another soft knock on the door. “Chloe? Are you okay?”
She swore under her breath and turned to open the door. “Yeah, of course. Why?”
“I heard something hit the door,” he said, his words slow and cautious.
Chloe rolled her eyes. Of course he heard her body hit the door. She waved her hand in the air and stepped to the side. “It was nothing. Do you want to come in?”
Reid nodded and walked inside. Chloe closed the door and followed him over to the small table off to the side of the room. She flipped on another lamp and motioned for him to sit. Chloe waited for him to speak, but he remained silent, his eyes fixed on the table. When awkwardness started to settle over them, she cleared her throat.
“So, what’s going on? Not that you’re not welcome to come see me whenever you want, but I assume since it’s the middle of the night, this isn’t a social call.”
Reid’s eyes widened. “Shit, Chloe. I’m sorry. I knew it was late. I should have called. I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No. You didn’t wake me. I was actually contemplating knocking off a bank to escape my boredom.”
Reid grinned and relaxed back in his chair. “That’s not very Jedi of you.”
Chloe shrugged. “Eh, we can’t be good all the time. What fun is that?”
Reid pursed his lips. “It’s no fun at all.”
Chloe noticed his change in demeanor immediately. It was like before with the girl backstage. She had a feeling they were thinking about two very different kinds of fun. The reason for Reid’s late-night visit started to become clear.
“What’s going on up there?” she asked, tapping her finger against her temple.
Reid exhaled, his expression a mixture of shame and disgust. “I don’t think either of us is ready for that conversation.”
“Okay. How about we start with something simple? What did you come to talk to me about?”
With a frustrated groan, Reid gripped his hair and propped his elbows on the table. “I don’t know if I should talk about it now. I was so excited earlier and then . . . I feel like if I talk about it now, it’ll be tainted somehow.”
Chloe reached across the table and wrapped her hand around his wrist. When he met her gaze, the conflict and uncertainty that clouded his hazel eyes caused Chloe’s chest to tighten. “Hey,” she whispered. “I won’t let it. Whatever it is, I won’t let it be tainted. I promise.”
Reid dropped his hands to the table. When Chloe moved to pull away, Reid grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Is it weird that I actually believe you could?”
Chloe grinned. “Nope. It’s all part of Jedi Training 101. The Master must earn the trust of her Padawan.”
Reid laughed. “If your
Star Wars
obsession wasn’t so cute, I’d be concerned.”
“Whatever,” Chloe giggled. “Now, tell me about what had you so excited earlier.”
With a deep breath, Reid released Chloe’s hand and reached for the paper in his pocket. “Tonight, while we were playing the CCR cover, I had a breakthrough.”
Chloe sat up straighter and leaned forward. “Yeah? What happened?”
Reid unfolded the sheet of paper and pressed his hands against the creases before sliding it toward Chloe. “This.”
Wide-eyed, Chloe scanned the page. She knew exactly what it was, and now she understood why he’d thanked her at the end of the show. He’d finally broken down a wall. “Reid, this is amazing. I love what you’ve added. Do you have more?”
Reid mimicked her position. It was evident that her excitement was catching by the spark of energy that brightened Reid’s eyes. “Not on paper. I was hoping maybe we could work on this together. Unless you’re tired. But even if you are tired, I really don’t want to be alone, so we could do something else. Watch television or—”
Chloe jumped from her seat and grabbed her notebook before dropping it on the table and falling back into her chair. “Shut up and grab a pen. We have work to do.” When Reid didn’t move, she looked up to find him gaping at her. Without saying a word, she extended her arm and dropped a pen in front of him.
Reid cocked his brow and grabbed the pen. “Well, that escalated quickly.”
“Did you just quote
Anchorman
?”
“I did. Please don’t judge me.”
Chloe laughed and flipped open her notebook. “I can’t make any promises.”
For the next couple of hours, Chloe and Reid worked side by side. It wasn’t until the lines began to blur that Chloe dropped her pen and rubbed her dry eyes. As her vision came back into focus, she was amazed at the number of pages littering the tabletop, each one covered in lines of music for different instruments.
“Holy shit,” Chloe said with a small laugh.
“I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
“Wanna call it a night?” Chloe asked, groaning as she stood to stretch her stiff muscles.
“Sure.” Reid gathered the pages into a pile, but he made no move to stand. His shoulders drooped and the energy seemed to leak from his body. Chloe eased back into her chair and waited for Reid to speak. When he did, his voice was unsteady, but resolved.
“You said that if I ever needed to talk, you’d listen. Is that offer still on the table?”
Chloe’s heart started to beat a little faster, the sudden rush burning away the fatigue she’d felt just seconds earlier.
“Of course. Why don’t we move to the couch? My back is killing me.”
Reid agreed and stood from the chair. Chloe walked over to the minifridge and grabbed a beer. “Do you want one?”
“Hell yes,” he exhaled.
Once settled on the sofa, Reid took a long pull from his beer and turned to Chloe. “I’m a recovering addict, and I’m not doing so hot.”
Chloe swallowed her gasp. “What happened?”
Reid’s face twisted with disdain. “I happened. I did this to myself.”
“Reid,” Chloe said gently. “You’re human. We all make mistakes. Some we learn from immediately and others we repeat a million times before we get it right. It’s the determination to eventually get it right that matters.”
“How do you do that?” Reid asked, his expression a mixture of awe and disbelief.
“Do what?”
“Make everything sound so simple. You make it seem like, no matter what, things will eventually get better.”
“Because they will. You just have to believe it’s true.”
Reid dropped his eyes and exhaled. Silence settled around them, but it wasn’t like before. It was comforting, calm. He picked at the label of his beer bottle, his brows drawn together as though he was searching for the right words.
“How much do you know about what happened?”
Chloe didn’t have to ask what he was referring to; the pain on his face was a clear indication of the direction the conversation had taken. “I know what the media said. That a seventeen-year-old girl died from a drug overdose at your home and you were responsible. That you were charged with numerous felonies but used your money to evade prosecution.”
Reid looked at her through glassy eyes, his expression incredulous. “And knowing all that, you chose to come on tour with me anyway. Why?”
“Because one of my oldest friends was villainized by the very same media. They made her out to be a home-wrecking stripper who seduced a taken man. They didn’t care about the truth; they wanted the nastiest angle they could find, because that’s what sells.”
“You’re talking about Josie and Anders, aren’t you?”
Chloe nodded. “Yeah. So many horrible things were said about her that just weren’t true. I know it happens all the time, but it wasn’t until it happened to someone I care about that I realized just how bad it can get. I know there is some truth to what they printed about you, but I don’t care how famous you are—if you committed murder, you wouldn’t be on tour right now.”
Reid swallowed hard. “I was in a bad place back then. It all started when I broke things off with Jess six months after I was signed. We’d been together for over two years; we had plans. And I just walked away. Who the fuck does that?” Reid shook his head. “I broke her heart.
“It only took a couple of weeks to realize I was a fucking idiot, but by then, it was too late. She was done. She wouldn’t speak to me. She wouldn’t forgive me. She wanted nothing to do with me. I didn’t give a fuck about anything after that. I was a motherfucking rock star,” he said with a humorless chuckle. “I moved to LA and dove in headfirst. Cliché parties, groupies, drugs—you name it. I used my sad, pathetic life to make millions. Then, everything stopped. I tried to write, but nothing worked, nothing felt right. So I did more drugs, I partied a little harder, I barreled full speed down a dead-end road.
“The night that girl died, I was feeling sorrier for myself than usual. I decided I should have a few people over, to cheer me up. I called Greer and Drew and told them to come over and bring some friends. It didn’t take long for word to spread, and by three in the morning, there were more than a hundred people at my house. Someone had strung black lights and strobe lights all over the living room and deck area. The music was so fucking loud it rattled my bones. Every drug you could imagine was there: weed, coke, ecstasy, whatever you wanted. I did it all.”
Chloe looked up when Reid fell silent. The color had drained from his face and beads of sweat trickled down his skin. He looked as though he was going to be sick. Chloe clutched her empty bottle, her mouth bone-dry. She felt like she should say something, but when she opened her mouth, no words came out. She was about to stand and grab another beer when the sound of his voice caused her to freeze.
“The next day, I’m not sure when exactly, I woke up to a puddle of vomit. It must have been late afternoon, because I remember the sun reflecting off a glass frame on my mantel. It was the only time of day that happened. Everything hurt. And the smell . . . Fuck, it makes me sick just thinking about it. People were everywhere. I couldn’t believe how many of them were still up partying. I wasn’t sure if they were there the night before or if they’d just arrived. I didn’t care. I needed to sleep. I stepped over people passed out on the floor, stumbled to my bed, and fell face first on the mattress.
“When I woke again, it was dark. I flipped on the bedside lamp; it took all of my energy to keep from throwing up. I was so disoriented. When I noticed there was a girl beside me, I thought I was hallucinating. She was too still, too pale. That’s when I noticed the blood on her chin and chest. God, Chloe, I’ll never forget her face. Her eyes were wide open. They were so green. So empty. I knew she was dead. I didn’t have to check her pulse, her eyes told me all I needed to know. It was nine p.m. when I called the police. The report listed her time of death sometime around six p.m.”
Chloe’s hands covered her mouth as she processed his words. “She died beside you,” she murmured, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
Reid nodded but kept his eyes downcast. “I found out later that she was the little sister of a guy who worked at the recording studio. Her name was Francine, but her friends called her Fran. She was visiting from out of town, and he wanted to show off his Hollywood connections. She was only seventeen. A fucking senior in high school. Her brother got fucked up and wasn’t paying attention to her. So when someone offered her a line, she did it. The reports said someone remembered her mentioning needing to lie down, but nothing after that. From what I can guess, she got messed up and needed a break. She somehow ended up in my room. I was so fucked up that a seventeen-year-old girl died right beside me and I didn’t hear a thing. I never even moved.”
Chloe reached for Reid’s shoulder, but he shrugged away from her touch. “If I hadn’t been so messed up, I could have saved her.”
“You don’t know that. You could have been sober as a judge and not stopped what happened. I know you feel responsible, and I understand why, but you have no way of knowing that being sober would have changed the outcome. You can’t beat yourself up over what might have been.”
“It’s difficult to be logical when I see her face in my sleep. When I think about a child dying in the bed beside me.”
Chloe slid across the sofa and pulled her feet under her, rising to her knees. Ignoring Reid’s protest, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her forehead against his temple. “I can’t imagine what that must have been like. I can’t imagine what that still must be like. But, Reid, you didn’t kill that girl. You’re not responsible for the mistakes of others. Be angry with yourself for letting drugs into your life. Be angry that you didn’t make better choices. Be angry that a young girl lost her life. Use that anger as a reminder of that lifestyle. But you cannot spend the rest of your life with that girl’s death on your shoulders. It’s not your burden to bear.”
Reid’s shoulders shook as the evidence of his sadness dripped onto Chloe’s arm. Tears pricked her eyes when he turned and wrapped his arms around her waist. She wished there was more that she could do, anything to help him. Reid pulled in several deep breaths then released Chloe. Reluctantly, she let him go and scooted away to give him some space.
“I know I didn’t kill her,” Reid said eventually. “When everything went down, Tom sent me straight to rehab. I didn’t argue. I knew I needed help. Not many people know that.”
“I did,” Chloe said, tugging hard on her lip ring the moment the words left her lips. She hadn’t wanted to bring up meeting Walker.
Reid’s eyes narrowed and his expression hardened. Chloe worried Reid would think she was playing some kind of game. That she knew far more about the situation than she was admitting, and everything he’d shared with her tonight was old news. “How?”