Cabin Fever (20 page)

“Ellie! No more. Change the subject.”

The sigh she heard from her iPhone’s speaker was so theatrical, Sarah thought she might be listening to a soap opera. “Fine! Fine. We’ll change the subject. We can talk about other things, like I’m coming to see you next weekend.”

Sarah gave a start. “Wait. What?”

“I’m coming to visit. I think you’ve been there too long by yourself without a decent cup of coffee, and I can’t go another week without meeting this incredible hunk that you somehow got your hooks into. The term is nearly over, which means there’s a stack of asinine, borderline-illiterate term papers sitting on my desk and I can’t face that right now. On top of everything else, Jackson is being an ass. So I’m taking a few days off and driving up to see you.”

Sarah was momentarily at a loss for words. “Ellie, that’s … that’s amazing! It will be great to see you!” Now that she was getting used to the idea, she was genuinely excited. Ellie could be a handful, but Sarah had no idea had to live without her sister’s acerbic commentary on her life. She couldn’t wait to see her again.
 

"I know! It will be just like old times. When was the last time we were at the cabin together?"

Sarah groaned, because she knew exactly when that was. "You were still in college, and I was freelancing, and Mom talked us into coming up for the Fourth of July."

"Oh, right," Ellie said. "And Dad was really weird and spent the whole time fishing, and your boyfriend..."

"He was not my boyfriend! He as just some local hick who thought we were meant to be together, no matter how many times I told him to get lost."

"...your boyfriend got really drunk and tried to impress you with his homemade firecrackers, but they almost blew his hand off..."

"And I ended up missing the real fireworks show because I had to take him to the hospital. Fun! The best I could say about that day – that year, for that matter – was that he didn’t lose any fingers."

“And even so, that guy was more impressive than some of the guys I’ve seen you with. At least he had some life to him.”

“Shut up!”

“Oh, you know it’s true, you just hate that I don’t sugar-coat it. But seriously, the last time we were up there together completely sucked, so this time we need to make it extra special so that we can forget all about that. You are going to introduce me to your big hunk of a football player boyfriend, and the three of us are going to have so much fun!”

Sarah began to get an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Yeah, that will be great,” she said unconvincingly. “I can’t wait for the two of you to meet.” In reality she was gripped by a creeping sense of insecurity. Her beautiful, vivacious younger sister was going to meet her new boyfriend. Ellie, who charmed the pants off of every man she met – sometimes quite literally – would soon meet Brad. Suddenly this didn’t seem like such a great idea. “What’s this about Jackson being an ass?” she asked mostly to change the subject.

“Uggh,” her sister replied. “I’ll tell you about it when I get there. The short version is he’s being a man, which is never an entirely good thing.” She continued to chatter on for some time, mixing vague plans for the visit with updates on her personal life, but Sarah was giving the conversation less than half of her attention.
 
The better part of her mind was drifting off into contemplation of Brad, their relationship, and the end that she trusted was far enough away that she didn’t need to deal with the emotions of ending it quite yet.

25

As soon as he felt the phone buzzing in Brad’s pocket, he somehow knew the call was important. His stomach clenched the way it always did before a big game – a feeling that wasn’t exactly fear and wasn’t quite excitement, but was a sort of tense alertness that came over him whenever something that mattered was about to happen. He had learned over a life of performance and contests to trust his gut instincts, and they had never been far wrong. Now his gut was telling him that this call was not one he wanted to let go to voicemail. So it was that when he took the phone from his pocket and glanced at the front, he wasn’t surprised to see the name of the caller.

“Hey, coach,” he said, thumbing the phone to life. “I hope you have some good news for me.”

“I do,” said the gravelly voice on the other end of the line, a voice that Brad knew had been forged by decades of chain smoking while working the sideline at one of the most successful college football programs in the country. “I think we might be able to work something out for you. My linebacker coach has an offer to take over as defensive coordinator at a Pac-12 school, and he’s going to take the offer. That leaves me with an opening on my staff, and you’re the first name on my list.”

Brad’s heart leaped halfway up this throat, but he was proud to hear that his voice remained level. “I appreciate that, coach. I really do. I know you’d be taking a chance on me.”

“That I will. There are plenty of experienced coaches who would jump at an opportunity like this, but you were one of the smartest kids who ever played for me, and I know that you’ll be a hell of a coach if you ever get half a chance. I mean to give you that chance. I can’t offer you much money, of course, and God knows we could all be out on our asses next year, next month, or even next week. But you’ll be coaching on a real team, in a real conference, and if things go well in a few years you’ll have a chance to climb the ladder. Maybe get a team of your own, maybe be a position coach in the pro’s. It’s a chance, that’s all it is, but it’s more than most people get.”

“I know it is, coach, and I thank you for it.”

“Is that a yes?”

Brad was silent for a moment while he thought about it. A thousand half-formed thoughts flitted through his mind in an instant. He thought about Sarah, and how the right thing to do would be to put down the phone and talk to her before he gave his answer. But she knew the score – they had talked about this more times than Brad could count – and he didn’t know how long this offer would be on the table. Brad had only one answer to give, whether now or later, and so he gave it. “It’s a yes.”

“Outstanding. When can you get down here? I want you to meet the kids as soon as possible. They’re in a summer conditioning program right now, but the first two-a-day’s are three weeks out. The sooner you can get here, the better.”

“I’ve got a few things to wrap up, but then I’ll pack up the truck and drive over.”

“A few things? That won’t take more than a day or two, then?”

Brad paused, considering. Sarah’s face hung in the air before him, but he had backed himself into a corner. It was too late for second thoughts. “Right. No more than a couple days.”

“Good. I’ll get the department secretary working on temporary housing for you. We’re going to put you to work as soon as you get here, so it may be a while before you can find the time to look for a place for yourself. Unless you have a lady who will be coming with you?”

“No,” Brad answered. “No one’s coming with me.” A college town in the Midwest: deathly cold in the winter, beastly hot and humid in the summer. Sure, he could really see Sarah sitting in their temporary apartment, waiting deep into the night for him to come home so that they could trade a few words before he collapsed on the bed and went straight to sleep. No way that was going to happen. No way he was going to let that happen. “I’ll be coming alone.”

Afterwards, when the call was done, Brad looked back on the conversation and tried to pull himself out of the gloom that had descended on him. When he had imagined this day, he had expected that he’d be elated when he got his first coaching job. Now it had happened just like he wanted, but he felt flat, even a little low. He knew the reason, of course; the name “Sarah” was written all over this situation. He had never been with a woman like her before. He had never imagined that a woman like Sarah would ever give him the time of day. Somehow it had happened and they had come together, but he knew it couldn’t last. If they stayed together, sooner or later she’d leave – because she was bored, or because he said something stupid, or because she needed something that simply wasn’t in him to give.
 

It was better this way, he thought. Better to make a clean break than to wait for it to get messy. He couldn’t ask for a cleaner break than this.

26

Sarah felt a familiar lift in her chest as she pulled her car into John's dusty driveway. She still hadn't visited with Brad's father often. There had been an awkward dinner that the three of them shared, during which Sarah had been sure that John hated her until she finally realized that he really was that silent – especially when he had a plate of food in front of him.
 

Since then there had been opportunities to exchange a few words with her boyfriend's father, and Sarah knew that she liked him. John was a sourpuss, certainly, but he was a sourpuss who cared very deeply about certain things. He clearly loved and was proud of his son, though he would probably go to his grave without ever putting his feelings into words, and there were core values that Sarah could tell wound through everything that he said and did. As she got to know John better, Sarah gained some perspective into Brad as well. She could see now that her boyfriend’s easy self-confidence was built on the rock that was his father's belief in him. When Brad decided where he wanted his life to go and then set out carefully and methodically to get there, Sarah could see the slow, careful workmanship that infused John's own approach to the world. Brad was John's son in so many ways that she suspected neither man realized how intimately their characters were intertwined. Her feelings for Brad were strong and mostly beyond her comprehension, but she had come in a very short time to love John in a simple and uncomplicated way.

It wasn't John that she was here to see, though. The reality of Ellie's impending visit had descended on her like a shroud, and she had spent the morning alternating between gloomy reflection on the prospect and feverish attempts to get the cabin ready for more than one occupant. There was a guest room – Sarah had even slept in it, back when her mother was still alive – but it clearly had not been occupied for years and her father had filled it with assorted crap that he apparently couldn't bring himself to throw away. There was a stack of board games that were missing pieces. There were dusty stacks of decrepit best-sellers that had long since been forgotten by even the most ardent readers. There were children's clothes and toys, some of which Sarah recognized as hers, some of which might have been Ellie's, and a baffling third category of items that she was pretty sure that her father had collected over the years for reasons she couldn't imagine. Beneath the boxes and bundles there was a bed of sorts, but the mattress had seen better days and there didn't seem to be sheets, blankets, or pillows.
 

If there was one thing on which Sarah was clear, it was that she would not willingly share a bed with her sister, and that meant the guest room was her top priority. She spent the better part of a day moving the boxes and assorted debris to the garage and then sweeping and collecting the dirt and dust that had collected over the course of several years. At the end of the day, though, she was exhausted and knew she needed help, because plenty of work remained. That's what had brought her to John's driveway. She needed Brad's strong back to help get the job done in advance of Ellie's arrival.

Getting out of the car, she gave a wave to John where he sat in his chair on the porch. He got up and walked toward her, which surprised her a little bit, but she was in too good of a mood to wonder at his uncharacteristic friendliness. "How is life treating you, John?" she asked with a smile.

"I'm fine. You're doing OK?"

"I'm OK. Busy, though. My sister is coming for a visit, and I could really use some help getting ready. I hope Brad is home?"

John was visibly surprised. "He is. He's in the back. I have to say, I respect the hell out of you being here. I’ve known quite a few women in my day, but none that would be up to this.”

Sarah was at a loss. She had no idea what he was talking about. “Umm, thanks?” she said, making it sound more like a question than a statement. And then she was hit by a sudden concern. “Is Brad OK?”

“Brad? He’s getting by, I guess. Silent as a stone, of course, but that’s how he’s always been. In time he’ll try to claim that this didn’t get him down none, but I can tell that he’s hurting.”

Sarah’s stomach did a backflip. “Hurting? John, why is he hurting? Where is he?”

Two looks passed across John’s face in quick succession: confusion, and then a dawning realization that was a mix of anger and acute social discomfort. “Ah, hell,” he finally said. “He hasn’t told you.”

The feeling in Sarah’s gut slowly turned to ice. “Told me what?” she asked in a voice that sounded so much like a little girl that it shamed her.
 

John turned away and looked at the sky for a long unbroken silence. It wasn’t until Sarah stepped forward and put her hand on his arm that he finally turned back to her. “It’s not mine to tell, and I’m going to kick that boy’s ass up and down the block for putting me in this position, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag now. I’ll leave the details to him, but the bottom line is this: He got a job, Sarah. He’s got the coaching job he was angling for. He’ll be leaving soon.”

Sarah was not a woman who often struggled to know what to say, but now she was completely speechless. She was aware that her mouth was hanging open in what was almost certainly an unflattering pose, but all she could do was stare mutely and desperately fight not to start crying.
 

After what seemed like an eternity, she wrestled her emotions under control and felt mostly confident that her voice wouldn’t crack if she tried to speak. “I see,” she said, in a voice that was far too calm for the situation. “Thank you, John, and I apologize that you had to deal with something that your son apparently would rather not. If at some point he feels like talking with me, you can let him know that I’ll be back at my Dad’s place.”