Sensing how bad he was hurting, Shaya wished she wasn’t so messed up. “I’m sorry.”
He held her even tighter to him, giving her a pointed look. “Hey, don’t you dare apologize for what you can’t give me. It’s my own fault anyway.”
“No, it’s not. Even if you had claimed me that very first night we met, this trust issue would still have been there. As if that isn’t bad enough, there’s the fact that dominant/submissive pairs find completing the mating link hard.”
“Only those who believe that a difference in status is a problem and feel that they can’t complement each other. I know you worry I’ll grow to resent that you’re not dominant, but that’s just dumb. I want you exactly as you are. I’ve never seen you as weak. You don’t hold me back in any sense; you make me stronger because you balance me out. And
I
balance
you
out.”
“You do?” she said with a smile, amused by the utter confidence in the latter words.
He nodded, nipping her lip. “You’ve always made me think of a butterfly. Vibrant, graceful, colorful. But there’s another reason why you make me think of a butterfly—you’re damn hard to pin down.” She chuckled. “It’s true. I used to watch you, see the way you flitted from place to place and person to person, never still…because you’re trying to live your life for both you
and
your sister.” He could tell she hadn’t thought of it that way before. He stroked the curls away from her face, cupping her cheek as he softly continued. “You can’t do that, baby. You can use her as motivation, but you can’t live for two people.”
Stunned, Shaya struggled to find words. “I didn’t realize that was what I was trying to do. But you’re right; I was.”
“And if I hadn’t pointed it out, you would probably always have done it. This is what I mean when I say I balance you out. I keep you settled in one place—with me. I anchor you, ground you, make sure you don’t neglect your own needs, stop you from feeling alone, and give you and your wolf the security you need…but I don’t smother you in any way or try to take away your independence in doing that.”
And all of that was exactly what she needed, Shaya knew. “I still can’t believe I hadn’t seen this with Mika before now. It’s not like it’s a little thing.”
“She wouldn’t want you to be doing this, because it would mean you weren’t living a full life.”
It would also mean she and Nick weren’t living a full life
together
, and that wasn’t acceptable. “I guess, in some ways, I did it because I always felt guilty for being alive when she wasn’t.”
“Your mother made you feel that way, Shay.” He’d happily cut that toxic woman from Shaya’s life if he didn’t think it would hurt her not to give her mother a second chance. “It was wrong of her to do that. But you can’t carry on trying to live for both of you.” Jokingly, he added, “After all, I can’t deal with two mates. One’s enough.”
Narrowing her eyes, Shaya slapped his shoulder and reflexively snapped, “I don’t share.” Realizing how dumb she’d sounded, she groaned inwardly.
“I’m glad to hear it, because neither do I. You’re all I want. And you’re not something I’m prepared to lose. Ever. I already know how it feels to try to live a life without you in it. I don’t want to feel that ever again.”
“You tried to leave me the day you had the memory lapse,” she pointed out.
“Not leave you.” He kissed her lightly. “Protect you, put you first. I’ll always do that.”
“But not by trying to leave me again.” It was half question, half statement.
He shook his head. “No, baby, not that. It might have worked before we’d claimed each other, but it wouldn’t work now. We’re linked, for better or worse.”
“You’re healed,” she insisted, knowing what he meant by “worse.”
He hoped so, because the alternative was that Shaya would spend her life with a mate who didn’t even know who she was. “Come here.” Sliding a hand into her hair, he angled her head and brought his mouth down on hers. The kiss was slow, leisurely, and soft enough to be teasing and make her push for more. It wasn’t long before her claws pricked into his back—a demand for more. As if she quickly understood the demand would only make him prolong the featherlight kiss, she retracted her claws and released a sigh of frustration into his mouth.
“Shh,” soothed Nick. “It’s okay. I have no intention of making you wait.” Not when an attack was looming—it brought with it an acute awareness of the fleeting nature of time. Tucking Shaya’s leg over his hip, he thrust deep inside her. His eyes didn’t leave hers even once as he slowly claimed her all over again with each and every stroke. She clung to him with an almost desperate hold, and he sensed just how worried she was that by holding back from him, she’d drive him away.
He rested his forehead against hers. “Let me ask you something. When you turned psycho on me that first night and bloodied me, did it drive me away? No. When you rejected me over and over, did I leave? No. When you went on a date with that goofy human, did that drive me away? No. I’ve told you from the very beginning that you’ll never make me give you up. Start believing that.”
He kissed her again, hardening his thrusts as if it might just help him get through to her. When she finally came, triggering his own climax, she sank her teeth into his neck in a move that was as possessive as it was a reaffirmation to herself that he was hers. But the possessive bite wasn’t what had his wolf growling in satisfaction a few minutes later. Frowning, Nick fought the sated fog and smiled in both smugness and contentedness as he understood. “Our scents have mixed.” The head leaning on his shoulder suddenly shot up; her expression was pure wonder.
Shaya had been so deep in her dreamy post-orgasmic state that she hadn’t even sensed it. Well that certainly explained why her wolf was so relaxed and tranquil.
Nick tucked a curl behind her ear. “It means the bond is advancing, Shay.”
Maybe it was because they had talked some things through, or maybe it was because she had made the decision to stop clinging to Mika, to let her go, and, as such, it had given Nick the space to burrow deeper inside Shaya than he already was. She wasn’t sure, but she knew one thing. “I find I’m possessive enough to be smug that now everyone will know by just your scent that you’re taken and mine.”
He laughed, burying his face into the crook of her neck. “You smell even better now than you did before. Like the ocean, and cinnamon, and me.” He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth. “Mine.”
She nodded. “Yours.”
Entering the living area a little while later, they found Jaime, Dante, Roni, Marcus, Dominic, Grace, Lydia, and Amber. The smell of Nick and Shaya’s combined scents seemed to hit everyone at once, because they were all smiling—even Amber, despite that it was fake.
“Well, well, well,” said Jaime, delighted, as Nick and Shaya perched themselves on the gigantic sofa where everyone other than Roni and Dominic, who had each claimed an armchair, was sitting. “It would appear things are moving along nicely.” Jaime swapped places with Dante so that she was then sitting by Nick, winking at Shaya when he stiffened at her proximity. “How’s my BFF doing?” When Nick gawked at her, Jaime said indulgently, “Not you, sweetie, I was talking to your mate.” Shaya would have been pissed by people continually poking at him if she didn’t know this meant they accepted him.
“Fine, thanks.” Shaya patted Nick’s thigh soothingly.
“I’m glad things are working out for you guys,” said Roni.
“Me too,” said Grace. The others all nodded.
“Thanks. Where’s Mom?” Nick asked Roni. His mother spent a lot of time with Greta, and he couldn’t find it in himself to see that as a good thing.
“She went on a pack run with some of the others. I wanted to go too, but it seemed that Marcus, Dante, and Jaime suddenly found lots of things for me to do.” She threw them a scowl, folding her arms over her chest. She wasn’t stupid; she knew people were trying to keep her from shifting in case she disappeared in her wolf form again. They wouldn’t be able to stop her doing it during the attack tomorrow, though. Nick only hoped his sister came back afterward.
“Imagine if it turned out that Gok Wan’s actually straight as a ruler.” Yeah, that was Dominic—totally random. His eyes still on the TV, he gestured at the show. “The guy would be my hero if that was the case.”
Grace snorted at Dominic. “You don’t need to trick women into getting naked. They’re all too happy to oblige, from what I’ve heard.”
Lydia nodded. “It’s the same with Marcus, only the females are after his heart too because they fall for all that charm.” Marcus winked and flashed her a grateful smile that made her blush.
Dominic frowned, affronted. “I have charm.”
“But it’s a twisted kind of charm, honey,” said Lydia. “If you’d let Marcus teach you a few things, you’d be lethal.”
“I’m not sure if I want to be lethal if it means females will want more than sex.” Dominic shuddered.
“In other words, you’re a slut?” asked Roni.
“I guess you could say I’ve been a bad boy, Roni. If you want to send me to your room and—”
“Shut up, jerk,” said Marcus, rolling his eyes.
Hearing Taryn and Trey’s voices coming along the tunnels, Shaya smiled, eager for her best friend to hear that the mating link was developing. Thinking she might have just picked up another voice, Shaya cocked her head to listen harder. Then, to her surprise and delight, Taryn and Trey walked into the room with Caleb behind them.
Shaya practically jumped from the sofa and darted to the person whom she thought of as a brother. “Caleb!” Wearing a smile as wide as hers, Caleb wrapped his arms tight around her and squeezed. Then he froze at the sound of two low growls. Roni and Nick apparently didn’t like that another male was embracing her. Pulling back, she urged Caleb to follow her to Nick and took her mate’s hand in hers. At her tug, he stood. “Nick, you remember Caleb from Taryn and Trey’s mating ceremony, right?”
Nick’s voice came out dry. “I remember.” He awkwardly shook hands with the tall, brown-eyed wolf with stubble for hair. There was no desire in the guy’s scent or eyes, which meant he didn’t appear to have any interest in Shaya in a sexual sense; therefore, Nick could allow him to live. Still, Nick didn’t like other males hugging his mate, so it was pretty impossible to drop his scowl…even though Shaya was jamming her elbow into his ribs.
As Taryn came close with Kye in her arms, Caleb leaned in to her and said quietly, “I didn’t think I’d ever meet anyone who can look scarier than Trey.”
“Hey, your scents have mixed,” said Taryn, pleased—a total relief for Shaya. “It just proves that dominant/submissive pairs have every chance of fully bonding,” she threw over her shoulder, meeting Amber’s hard gaze.
“They’re not fully bonded yet,” Amber pointed out, “but I’m sure it will happen soon. They suit so well.”
She smiled sweetly, but apparently Caleb wasn’t fooled because he gave Shaya a look that said, “Seriously, what’s up with that?”
Shaya merely smiled and mouthed, “We’ll talk later.” Out loud she said, “Caleb, this is Roni—Nick’s sister—and Amber, the healer of his old pack.”
As Caleb exchanged greetings with the two females, Nick sank back into his seat and looped an arm around Shaya’s waist, pulling her onto his lap. Pettily jealous that her attention was on Caleb, Nick bit her ear. Clearly sensing he missed her focus being mostly on him, she gave him an amused sideways glance. But she didn’t return her full attention to him, and that just showed how well she knew him—it wasn’t at all good to let him have his own way all the time.
“When did you change your hair?” Shaya asked Caleb.
His smile fell, and irritation practically steamed from him. “When my little cousin decided to chop bits of it off while I was sleeping.”
Taryn cocked her head, studying him. “It suits you.”
He snorted. Then, his expression now serious, his eyes danced from Shaya to Nick and Taryn as he spoke. “When I heard what was happening, I had to come. I can help guard the entrances to the caves tomorrow night and make sure Kye’s protected. I need to play a part in this. I couldn’t sit home on my ass when I know something bad is going to go down here.”
Respecting the male for his loyalty to his friends and his offer to help when many submissive wolves would have opted out of the dangerous situation, Nick gave him a nod of thanks. “It’s appreciated.” His estimation of the male had now gone up.
Taryn gave Caleb a smile of appreciation. “Thanks for caring so much for Kye.”
“We’re grateful for the support,” said Shaya.
At the sound of the main door closing and two males laughing loudly, Taryn said, “Oh, Nick, that’ll be your brother.”
Nick arched a brow. “My brother?”
She shrugged. “Derren told me he was going to collect him and bring him here. Apparently the guy refused to miss out on whatever happens with the extremists.”
“That’s typical of Eli and his lust for action,” Nick grumbled to Shaya.
“I don’t like the idea of your brother in danger, just like I don’t like the idea of anyone here in danger,” said Shaya. “But if Eli’s willing to help, it would be dumb to turn him away.” A moment later, Derren entered the room with a powerfully built male who had the most enormous brown eyes. He wasn’t as tall or as broad as Nick, but he had the same indomitable look about him. Everyone exchanged nods with him—they had all seen him before at one point or another, as he often went with Nick to pack meetings or social gatherings and had actually been one of the wolves who fought alongside the Phoenix Pack against Trey’s uncle.
Grinning, Eli walked toward Nick, all self-assurance. “Hey. I tried calling to ask you to pick me up, but you didn’t answer your cell.” They exchanged one of those weird male body hugs, though Shaya could see Nick found the contact a little awkward. Clearly his brother was too used to that to care, because he didn’t comment or appear to be the slightest bit offended.
“I was a little preoccupied,” said Nick.
Knowing just what he meant, Shaya almost blushed.
Nick curled an arm around her. “You guys haven’t officially met. Eli, this is my mate. Shaya, this is the adrenaline junkie of the family.”