Carnal Secrets (45 page)

He’d kept every promise, he’d gone at her pace, and he’d been as patient with her as she had needed him to be. Yes, he’d earned her trust with everything he said, with everything he did, with every promise he kept. She
did
trust him. And yet…the bond wouldn’t snap into place.

Well of course it wouldn’t, she thought with a snicker. It had never really been her difficulty to trust at all, had it? Sure that had played a factor, but that hadn’t been the barrier between them. What had held her back all along had been fear—the fear of him leaving her, the fear of being alone, the fear of just what it would do to her to have to live her life without him being a part of it. And, most importantly, the fear of the power it gave him to admit to herself that she loved him. But clinging to that fear in order to protect herself wasn’t fair to either of them, nor was keeping those words from him.

Ironically, it had been fear that had held Nick back from claiming her at the very beginning, but he had let go of his fear, determined to not let her suffer for that fear. Now, she needed to let go of hers. And she found that she could.

It was not the scent of fire, smoke, and wood burning that made the gray wolf skid to a halt. It was the sudden bang in his chest and impact to his head. He did not fear either. There was no pain. Only the feel of his mate
inside
him: the feel of her heartbeat, the rate of her pulse. Neither was as strong as it should be. He took no time to enjoy the satisfaction of knowing their bond was now unbreakable. He needed to get to his mate.

With a number of wolves following, the gray wolf allowed the bond to lead him to her. Seeing the small building alight, his mind immediately flashed back to a distant, painful memory—one that brought with it fear, panic, desperation, and the feeling of being trapped. Those same feelings taunted the wolf now, making him hesitate, making him howl. But then he heard his mate’s voice, felt her sadness. She sensed his fear and wanted him to stay back. The wolf could not do that. She was his. She belonged to him. She needed to be safe. The sight of her in danger caused a different kind of fear—not the kind that made him hesitate, the kind that acted as fuel and made him act.

Feeling the bond click into place, Shaya’s wolf and soul screamed with joy. But Shaya didn’t have the time to rejoice about it, because she needed to be free of the evil bitch clinging to her ankle. And she needed to do it before the fire now attacking the wooden walls collapsed the building and killed them both. It was hot, it was dark, it was frightening. She couldn’t hear a thing over the hissing, sizzling, crackling, and popping around her.

Coughing and panicking as her ability to breathe became more and more difficult, Shaya kicked at Amber’s face and hand, wishing she was wearing her stilettos. Amber only tightened her hold and bit into Shaya’s leg. “You weird bitch!” she croaked. Shaya reached down, fisted her hand in her hair, and pulled hard until Amber’s teeth released her. She would have shifted forms, but her wolf was too spooked by the fire.

Using her hold on her ankle, Amber dragged Shaya toward her and went to claw at Shaya’s face. But the move was clumsy and awkward—most likely as Amber was already weak from her injury. Shaya’s hand shot out and snapped around Amber’s wrist. Digging deep for every ounce of strength inside her, Shaya propelled Amber onto her back, pinning her arm to the ground. As a submissive wolf, her strength shouldn’t have exceeded Amber’s, but knowing what this bitch had done to her mate, Shaya and her wolf were close to feral—it gave her the added strength she needed.

With the hand still fisted in Amber’s hair, she slammed the bitch’s head down over and over until Amber gave a dizzy, hoarse moan. Had she been able to see anything, Shaya might have been able to find her knife or rifle and kill the bitch, but the black smoke made it impossible for even shifter vision to see much. She wasn’t sure where the door was, or she might have tried to crawl toward it, but there was the possibility that she might simply crawl farther into the hut.

Sensing that her mate was now outside, Shaya would have smiled with relief if she hadn’t also sensed the fear and memories tormenting his wolf. It broke her heart to
feel
just how deeply the accident so long ago had scarred him. She tried to communicate to him that he didn’t have to put himself through this again, that she didn’t want his scars to deepen, but she didn’t have a freaking clue if it was working.

Caught off guard, Shaya found herself lying on her side as Amber tried to reverse their positions. She could tell that Amber was again attempting to shift, but apparently the drug Merrick had used on her still hadn’t worn off. That or her wolf was just as spooked by the fire as her own was. Both coughing and close to passing out, they still continued wrestling with one another, weakly battling for dominance.

Then she heard the door suddenly burst open, and the scent of her mate entered the hut. Seconds later, strong hands slipped under her armpits and were attempting to lift her, but Amber locked her arms around Shaya’s waist, using all her body weight to keep her in place. Amber clearly had no intention of trying to get out of the hut, fully aware that she was dead if she did anyway. She seemed to prefer to die of smoke inhalation than by being pounced on by a pack of pissed-the-fuck-off wolves. And she wanted Shaya to die with her.

Shaya, however, wasn’t okay with that. She shoved hard at Amber’s head, but the bitch released her claws and dug them into Shaya’s waist to strengthen her hold. Not willing to give up, Shaya dug both of her thumbs into Amber’s eyes, pressing hard. Meanwhile, Nick continued pulling, only slightly hampered by Amber.

“Get off me, you neurotic bitch!” It came out more of an abrasive whisper. With the last bit of energy she had left, Shaya pulled back her fist and crashed it into Amber’s jaw. Her hold on Shaya then loosened, and the rescuing hands scooped Shaya up, breaking Amber’s grip. Keeping her tucked against him, Nick hurried through the doorway. She had expected to have to go through a wall of flames, but the way was now clear, and the fire was quickly subsiding.

Finally outside, she dimly noted that fire extinguishers were blasting the flames—things that were kept inside the caves in case of forest fires. But as he sat her inside the SUV, her concentration was solely on Nick; she ran her gaze over every naked inch of him, searching for any injuries.

“Taryn healed me,” Nick assured her. He blew out a breath, forcing one of the bottles of water Cam had brought into her hands. Shaya practically inhaled it. “Christ, baby, you scared the shit out of me.”

“I didn’t get kidnapped on purpose,” she rasped. His tight hug would have hurt her if she hadn’t needed that contact as much as he did. “How is everybody?” From her position in the vehicle, she could only see Jaime, Dante, Ryan, Cam, and Rhett. Shit, shit, shit.

Feeling
the panic zooming through her, he pulled back and cupped her chin. “They’re alive, don’t worry. Unfortunately, they’re not in great shape.” He paused as a cough interrupted him. “But Taryn was in the process of healing them when I left. My guess is she’s probably just half-healed them so she doesn’t exhaust herself. Gabe and Caleb drove one of the SUVs out here and picked them up while Cam and Rhett came out here with the extinguishers and drinks.”

“Speaking of half-healing…Amber didn’t fully heal you, Nick. She purposely didn’t, because she wanted you to keep going back to her. You know what it means, don’t you? It means the only reason you got ill again was because of her. Taryn’s healing should be permanent.”

The betrayal didn’t cut deep, as he’d never felt anything for Amber, but it still wasn’t pleasant to know that someone who had once been a member of his pack could betray him that way. “In that case, I’m glad no one went back in to save her. What she did goes against the principles of every healer.”

Realizing that a few people appeared to be circling something at the side of the hut, she frowned. “What’s going on?”

Nick sighed. “Jesse, Bracken, Zander, and Derren went after Logan and Merrick, and brought them back.” He cupped her face. “I need you to stay here for me.”

Shaya bit her lower lip. “You’re going to kill them, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” He waited for her to yell at him or at least try to talk him out of it, but she instead nodded.

“Make it painful.”

Startled by her words, he almost smiled. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Still vibrating with fury and fear for his mate, Nick strolled over to the group near the hut. They instantly parted, letting him through. He went to stand before Merrick and Logan. Their expressions were blank, but undiluted fear was wafting from both of them, pleasing his enraged wolf. They knew they weren’t getting out of this alive.

Logan’s voice was shaky. “If you kill me, the rest of my—”

Nick held up a hand to silence him. “I’ve heard it all before from your friend Lee-Roy. It never worked for him, and it certainly won’t work for you.” He looked at Merrick. “You’re supposed to be dead.” Under any other circumstances, Nick would have been glad to find out that Merrick was still alive, that he could let go of the guilt he had been carrying for a very long time. But not now; no, the son of a bitch really did deserve to die. “Know what’s ironic? I always felt bad, since I never meant to kill you. But now I’m actually wishing I had.”

Merrick laughed, but it was a nervous sound. “I don’t doubt it.”

“What I can’t understand is how you’re alive.”

A slight shrug. “The day you almost killed me, I made a deal with Logan that if he brought in a healer to fix me up, I’d tell him everything I knew about you and the other prisoners in there—the codes you all used, what positions you’d all given yourselves, what everyone’s weaknesses were. We’re like-minded, he and I.” The wolves all growled, disgusted by him.

Derren came to stand slightly behind Nick, glaring hard at Merrick. “You betrayed your own kind.”

“They’re not my kind.
My
kind wouldn’t have ostracized me from my own pack.”

“Trey’s pack ostracized him,” said Nick, “but he didn’t decide to make his entire race pay. There are no excuses for the things you’ve done.”

Apparently Merrick didn’t care, because he ignored that. “I
should
have been Alpha of my pack! And I
should
have been Alpha in juvie!”

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Nick’s voice was even and quiet. “You’re everything that an Alpha isn’t: cocky, cunning, self-centered, fickle, and bullying. Everyone saw it, and everyone hated it.”

“They respected and followed me until you came along and challenged me.”

“No, they existed in small, tight groups. And those groups feared you, sure, but an Alpha who tries to rule through fear and intimidation isn’t an Alpha. It’s that simple. And so is your fate.”

“Nick,” said Jesse. “We know this guy did you wrong, and we know he kidnapped your mate, but he’s also responsible for the kidnapping and deaths of our family members—my sister, Bracken’s cousin, and Zander’s nephew.”

And the three males needed vengeance, needed closure. Nick could understand that. He could. Had the situation been reversed, he’d have demanded the same. Besides, he’d be getting closure for every juvie member by killing Logan, who had also played a part in kidnapping and attempting to kill his mate. He could give this other piece of shit to Jesse, Bracken, and Zander if that was what they truly wanted; he’d beaten Merrick once before anyway. Nick’s decision must have been obvious in his eyes, because Merrick’s expression turned to a mixture of confusion and anxiety.

“You’re not going to challenge me, one to one?”

“If I did that, it would be over quickly, wouldn’t it? This way, you get to suffer for a little while. I find that I like that idea. You don’t deserve mercy, Merrick. Neither of you do.” He extended his claws, dancing his gaze from Merrick to Logan and back again. “You both tried to take from me the only thing I’ve ever loved. As you can imagine, I have a serious fucking issue with that.” He stepped a little closer to the man who had raped and killed so many young shifters. “This might hurt a little.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

THREE MONTHS LATER

A
s Jaime yapped beside him at the dining table about something or other, Nick forced a smile for her. Oh, she was a nice enough girl and stuff, but he just didn’t do the friend thing, and apparently a person didn’t have a choice in the matter when it was Jaime. He noticed that his mate, who was sitting on his other side, was stifling a smile of amusement at his discomfort—as usual.

Just a little longer
, he reminded himself. Just a little longer, and then he and Shaya would be finished with their evening meal and leaving Phoenix Pack territory, and they would only be returning as visitors.

Since the night of the battle, he and Shaya had been living on pack territory temporarily. Although they had slept in the motor home outside the caves, they were still constantly harassed and, as such, had had very little time alone. Nick and Shaya weren’t the only ones who had remained on pack territory. Derren, Roni, Eli, Kathy, Jesse, Bracken, Zander, and Kent—who had sold the salon—had remained too. Why? It wasn’t that they expected Nick to start a pack. No, it was because they believed they already
were
a pack.