Carried Forward By Hope (56 page)

The storm blew through, bringing with it violent thunder and lightning. Carrie barely registered the fury exploding over their heads, but she was totally aware when the hot, sultry air changed to a refreshing breeze that cooled the room.

Her concern deepened when Bobby’s fever refused to abate. His breathing became labored and his chest strained for air. His legs began to twitch from spasms as the infection spread further. She and Janie wrapped and unwrapped the bandages as fast as they could, but they knew they were losing the battle.

“Come on,” Carrie whispered. “Come on…”

She knew the minute they had lost the fight. Bobby’s stiffened body relaxed and his legs stopped moving. He released his final breath and his face went lax, the lines of pain disappearing into the relief of death.

“He’s gone,” Janie said softly.

Carrie settled back in her chair and stared at his now peaceful face. “Yes.”

Robert walked into the room with another bucket of cold water. He stopped when he saw the look on Carrie’s face. “He’s dead?”

“Yes.” Carrie took a deep breath. “It’s for the best,” she said slowly. “The infection had destroyed too much of him. Even if we could have saved him, he probably would never have spent a day out of bed.” She shook her head but didn’t say anything else, not wanting to infect the other men in the room with her thoughts.

She gathered up her supplies and motioned for Janie and Robert to join her as she left the room. “Abner and Joe will sleep tonight. I’ll come back up and check on them later.”

******

Rose and Moses were waiting on the porch when they all trudged wearily up the steps.

“You lost one,” Rose said softly.

Carrie nodded heavily. “Bobby. The infection had taken too much of him.”

“Joe and Abner?”

“Their fevers are down and they are resting,” Carrie said. She collapsed into the chair Moses pulled out for her, watching wearily as Janie and Robert followed suit. “They both will have a long recovery, but I believe they’ll make it if they want to.”

Silence fell on the porch, but Carrie’s anger continued to grow. “It’s such a waste!” she finally burst out. “Such a complete waste!” She stood and strode to the edge of the porch, listening as droplets of moisture fell from the trees that had been doused in the storm. “Do you hear that?” she demanded.

“Hear what?” Janie asked, confusion evident in her voice.

“Silence. Peace.” She turned back to all of them. “We’re living in a fantasy world out here.
I’m
living in a fantasy world,” she cried angrily. “There are tens of thousands of men just like Bobby in this country. Who is going to help them? The government may want to, but there are too many that are going to fall through the cracks. There are men sent home from the war who are sitting in their homes waiting to die because they can’t get help. It’s not right.”

“So what are you going to do?” Robert asked quietly.

“What
can
I do?” Carrie asked, desperation filling her voice. “There are so many!”

“You reach the ones you can,” Rose said firmly. “You bloom where you’re planted.”

Carrie whirled around and stared at her while her mind raced. She struggled to catch her breath. All the while, she stared into Rose’s eyes, finding the strength she couldn’t find in herself. Finally she settled back down in her rocking chair and managed a small chuckle. “I believe I said those exact same words to you not too long ago.”

“I believe you did,” Rose agreed calmly. “It’s much easier to say them than it is to live them, but the words are completely true.”

“But how?” Carrie murmured, staring toward the lantern light flickering in the room over the barn. The small space had worked in an emergency, but it surely wasn’t a solution.

“I’m glad you asked.” Moses’s deep voice broke the night.

Carrie turned to stare at Moses.

“I talked to the men tonight after they got done in the fields. They were heading over to work on the schoolhouse. Your father sent another load of lumber. We weren’t sure what to do with it, but now we have a plan,” Moses explained.

Carrie gazed at him, not at all sure what this had to do with her.

Moses smiled. “As soon as the men are done with the schoolhouse in a few days, they are going to add on another large room. It won’t be great as a hospital because there are times of the day it will be pretty loud,” he admitted, “but I reckon it will make a good medical clinic.”

Carrie gasped. “A medical clinic?” Her eyes grew wide. “Attached to the school house?”

Moses nodded. “It will be on the main road, so it will keep people off the plantation. It will be easy for them to find, and they won’t have to go into Richmond to get help.”

“A medical clinic…” Carrie repeated, the beginnings of a smile on her lips. She turned to Rose.

Rose nodded firmly. “Bloom where you’re planted,” she repeated. “There are so many people you can help. Yes, it will be open to the veterans, but you can help anyone who needs it.”

“I’m not a doctor,” Carrie protested. “Why would they come to me?”

“The same reason those men came,” Robert said firmly. “They’ll come because they know you can help them.”

“Bobby died,” Carrie reminded him. Tears filled her eyes even though she knew he was finally free of the unrelenting pain.

“Yes, but only because he didn’t get help in time,” Robert responded. “And Joe and Abner are going to make it. The word will spread.”

“I don’t have medicines or equipment,” Carrie argued, though her mind was exploding with ideas.

Rose smiled. “And you’re already thinking of ways to deal with those problems,” she said. “I can see your mind working right now.”

Carrie grinned. “You sound just like your mama.”

“So you know my mama would tell you the same thing,” Rose replied, her eyes twinkling.

Carrie turned to Robert. “I’ll need to go into Richmond for supplies.” Her mind was working rapidly. “I need to talk with Dr. Wild if he’s still in Richmond.”

Robert nodded. “We’ll ride in next week,” he promised. “I’m sure your father and Abby will be thrilled to have us for a visit.”

Carrie nodded thoughtfully. “Joe and Abner should be okay with me being gone by then. I believe Annie can take care of whatever they need.” Then she turned to Moses. “How long will it take to build the clinic?” she asked breathlessly.

“The school will be done in three days. We’ll have the clinic finished in two weeks.”

Carrie turned to look at Janie, who was watching her with a huge smile on her face.

Janie held up her hand. “You don’t even have to ask. Of course I’ll help.” Her face broke into a joyful smile. “It will be like old times,” she said.

“Except that
we’ll
be running it,” Carrie whispered. Her earlier anger had dissolved into exciting plans and possibilities.

******

Carrie settled down at the dresser, her mind whirling as she stared into the mirror that had challenged her so many times throughout her life. Even though she knew the secret behind its gilded edges, it had no less power to draw her in and make her want to be all she could possibly be.

Robert came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. “What do you see in there?” he asked quietly.

Carrie smiled, joy cascading through her that she truly had her husband back. “I see a happy woman with a husband who believes she can do big things like run a medical clinic.”

Robert reached down, picked up her brush, and began to stroke it through her hair, his eyes holding hers in the mirror. “Want to know what I see?”

Carrie nodded, her skin tingling.

“I see a beautiful woman who can do absolutely anything she sets her mind to. I see a woman who has incredible compassion and caring in her heart.” Robert leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “I see a woman who is going to be a doctor,” he finished firmly.

Carrie stiffened and opened her mouth, but Robert held his finger to his lips to keep her silent. “I see a woman,” he continued, “who is going to have the chance to go to medical school because her husband wants it for her almost as badly as she wants it for herself.”

“You do?” Carrie whispered. Robert nodded, still holding her gaze as the lanterns flickered, casting glowing light on the mirror and making it shoot sparks back at her as they reflected in his eyes. “How?” She wanted so much to believe her dream could come true, but she truly couldn’t see how it could happen.

“We’ll figure it out, Carrie,” Robert assured her. “I know you’ve been studying ever since Abby brought you all the books. I saw your calm proficiency when you were treating the men today. The world is changing. It needs you. It needs women doctors.”

Carrie stared into his dark eyes. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

“With every fiber of my being,” Robert replied. “I’m well. Whether I go to Philadelphia with you for medical school, or whether I stay here on the plantation until you graduate, we’ll figure it out.” He held up his hand as Carrie opened her mouth again. “I know you’ll argue that we’ve already had too much time apart, and I couldn’t agree with you more, but I also know you have given up so much of who you are. First, it was because of your mother’s illness. Then the war stole four years of your life.” He took a deep breath. “Then you put aside all of your desires again to take care of me.”

“But—”

“No buts,” Robert said firmly. “I already know you did it because you love me and because you’re my wife. But now it’s my time to give back. Yes, I’ll miss you every second if we decide it’s best to be apart, but you waited for me during four years of war. I’ll wait for you to get your medical degree, and then we’ll live the rest of our life. We’ll figure out every step of the way how to blend our lives and our passions, because our love is strong enough to support both of them.”

Carrie stared at the reflection of his strong face in the mirror and had a sudden impulse. She jumped up from the chair. “Care to join me on an adventure, Mr. Borden?

Robert raised an eyebrow. “What do you have in mind, Mrs. Borden?”

Carrie grabbed two blankets, lifted a lantern from the wall, and reached forward to open the door to the tunnel. “It’s a beautiful night on the river,” she murmured softly, reaching up to kiss Robert’s lips.

Robert grinned. “Lead the way, Mrs. Borden.”

Minutes later they were pushing through the door that led out onto the banks of the James River. Twinkling stars reflected on the almost still surface of the water. A crescent moon hung suspended as fluffy clouds drifted across its surface. Crickets and frogs, silent when they had pushed out onto the beach, tuned up their orchestra again. A coyote howled to its mate in the distance.

Carrie and Robert carefully laid the blankets down on the shore and then Robert lowered Carrie, settling down beside her.

“Thank you,” Carrie whispered. “Thank you for coming back to me. Thank you for loving me, and thank you for believing in me.” She stroked his face, gazing into his warm eyes that reflected the moon, and then she claimed his lips in a long kiss. When she finally pulled away, she smiled. “I’ve always dreamed of loving you right here on the James River.”

Robert’s eyes darkened with desire as he pulled her close.

******

Rose stared at the simple, gleaming white schoolhouse tucked back into a grove of trees. An overhang protected the entrance, and a white picket fence outlined the front yard. The shining windows reflected back the early morning sun and glistened off the bell that had been hung to announce classes and recess. A small field off to one side had been designated as a play area for the children. The other side, the home of the medical clinic, was framed and roofed. One of the walls was completed.

“Moses…” Rose whispered. “It’s perfect!” He had insisted she stay away for the last two weeks because he wanted to surprise her. Tears filled her eyes. “It’s what I always dreamed of.”

Moses grinned. “You think I wasn’t listening when you told me your dreams? I had the men build it as close to the picture you painted for me as I could.”

“It’s so perfect…” she repeated in a whisper. She saw a sign over the door and moved close enough to read it. “Oh…Oh…” She couldn’t force any more out of her mouth. All she could do was focus on breathing as her heart pounded in her chest. She stared at the sign.

The New Beginnings School.

“Moses,” she finally managed. She turned to him, finding her voice. “That’s exactly what this is. It’s a new beginning for us. It’s a new beginning for all the children and adults who will learn what they need to know in order to live in a brand new country and a brand new reality.” She reached up and stroked his face. “Thank you is so inadequate, but just know it springs from the deepest core of my being.”