Carried Forward By Hope (52 page)

Carrie nodded. “She told me the same thing one day. She also told me that since I wasn’t really a caterpillar, I shouldn’t be surprised if I had to go into that cocoon more than once. She said we all go through different seasons of life, and that we have to become new people for each one.”

“Thank you,” Janie said softly. “That’s exactly how I feel. I wonder what happens in the cocoon?” she mused. “I wonder if it hurts terribly to change from a caterpillar to a butterfly.”

Rose shrugged. “I just know I’m not usually having fun when I go through a transformation,” she said wryly. “It usually hurts, or it’s at least uncomfortable.”

Janie nodded and gripped both their hands tightly as she inclined her head toward the edge of the woods.

Carrie sucked in her breath as she watched a herd of deer step out into the fields. Tiny fawns pranced on the edge of the woods, their white spots glowing in the moon, while their mothers grazed next to them. Two huge bucks with wide racks of antlers stood guard, testing the breeze with raised heads. “They’re so beautiful,” she whispered, shivering as the magic of the night wrapped itself around her.

The three women stood quietly for a long time.

“I’m ready,” Janie said suddenly. “I don’t know what really happens in a cocoon to turn a caterpillar into a butterfly, but I know being trapped in Clifford’s house has turned me into a new woman. I spent a lot of my time terrified, but I also learned to respect myself and that I was strong enough to do what was needed to change my life. I still don’t know what is coming next, but being out here with both of you tonight has made me realize I’m not afraid of it anymore.”

Carrie grinned and threw her arms around Janie. Rose wrapped both of them in her own warm embrace. Suddenly, all three of them began to laugh. Their laughter echoed against the woods and came shimmering back to them, encircling them with life that pulsed through their being.

When they finally quit laughing, Carrie turned her face to gaze into the moon. “We are powerful women,” she said quietly. “We are going in different directions, but our spirits will always be united as one, no matter where we are or what we’re doing. The war has changed everything. Women have opportunities they have never had, but we’re going to have to continue to fight hard to be treated with respect and equality.”

“You’ve been talking to Aunt Abby,” Rose observed. “She’s right. I also know that freedom, whether you are black or white, means responsibility. Especially when you have opportunities most people can only dream of.”

“Like the three of us,” Janie said quietly. “The decisions we make aren’t just about our own lives. They’re about the lives of all women.”

Carrie nodded somberly. “It’s a heavy load to carry sometimes.”

“Leading sure is more fun than just following along in the pack,” Rose said firmly. “Moses and I talk about that a lot. I don’t know what the years are going to bring, but I’m quite sure we’re not just going to wait and see how it impacts us. We’re going to lead the way into change as much as we can.”

“While putting your lives into grave danger,” Janie said in a troubled voice. “The men with Clifford talked about terrible things that are happening.”

Rose frowned, but her voice was strong and resolute. “No matter what we choose to do, our lives are going to be in grave danger because of the times we live in. Our biggest concern is that we can both hold our heads high at the end of each day and know we’re living a life our children can be proud of.”

“I’m right with you,” Carrie vowed.

“Me too,” Janie chimed in. “We will let nothing stop us from moving forward.”

Carrie tapped lightly on Abby’s door, her heart bursting with excitement. She saw a mirror of her joy when Abby opened the door. “It’s finally here! You’re getting married.”

Abby grinned, her gray eyes dancing. “Having you excited about it gives me as much joy as the wedding itself,” she confided. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve dreamed of having a daughter. I’ve thought of you as one since the first summer we were together. To have it become official is almost more than I can absorb.” She took hold of Carrie’s hands. “I hope you know I’ll do everything I can to make your father happy. I never dreamed I would love another man, but I discover that my love for him just keeps growing every day. Your father is quite extraordinary.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Carrie replied. She started to say something else but stopped.

Abby looked at her closely and pulled her down beside her on the bed. “What is it?” she asked quietly.

“Your wedding day is hardly a time to ask the question that popped in my mind,” Carrie protested. “I’m confident you’ve already thought about it. We can talk another time.”

Abby gazed at her and smiled. “You read the women’s rights journal that Jeremy brought back yesterday.”

Carrie sighed. “Yes,” she admitted.

“And you’re wondering if I’m crazy to give your father control over all my assets.”

“I definitely don’t think you’re crazy,” Carrie protested. “I know my father, but…” She struggled to pull her thoughts together. They had been rampaging in her head ever since she had read the article.

“You didn’t know that under law every penny you make and any control of property actually belongs to Robert since you’re married,” Abby guessed.

Carrie shook her head. “I’d never thought about it.”

“Does it bother you?”

Carrie fought to think clearly. “It’s not that I don’t trust Robert,” she said slowly. “It’s just that I don’t believe anyone has the right to decide what I can or cannot do with what I have worked to create.”

“Go on,” Abby encouraged.

“Clifford saw Janie as property. He believed he could do anything he wanted with her.”

“And legally he was right,” Abby observed.

“Which makes the laws completely wrong,” Carrie said angrily. “They must be changed.”

“Agreed,” Abby said calmly.

Carrie stared at her. “Which brings me back to—”

“Your father and I.”

Carrie nodded. “Aren’t you afraid?”

Abby smiled and squeezed her hand. “As I said before, your father is an extraordinary man. We talked at length about my assets and holdings. He was a little put off that he was marrying such a wealthy woman, especially when he is struggling to re-establish his own wealth. And I wasn’t willing to relinquish control of what I have worked so hard for.”

“How did y’all resolve it?” Carrie asked breathlessly.

“All my properties and income have been put into a trust in my name,” Abby explained. “The laws have already changed a lot about a wife’s rights to property, but they still have a ways to go. In the meantime, women have to be smart. If they choose a husband well, like I have, the husband will be smart too!”

“So the trust protects you?”

“Mostly,” Abby admitted. “While the assets remain in my name, the law says your father has control over everything as long as he is alive.”

“Oh.”

Abby smiled. “It goes back to making a good choice. Your father and I talked about it. I’ve never once thought he was after control of my assets, but just to make me feel comfortable, he created a document relinquishing his right to any control. The only exception will be the factory because we are going to build and run it together as true partners.”

“Marriage can be complicated,” Carrie said with a frown.

“That it can,” Abby agreed, chuckling.

“Yet you’re willing to do it.”

Abby nodded thoughtfully. “Marriage is a risk. Any kind of relationship or partnership is a risk. You make the best decision you can and then you live with the consequences. I believe it’s a balancing act. I treasure my independence as a single woman, but I also missed the joys and fulfillment that comes from sharing my life with someone I love deeply. I have found those again with your father. I have taken steps to be wise, but I won’t let my fears keep me from living a life filled with love.”

Carrie smiled. “And my father is the luckiest man in the world because he’s getting a woman who is loving, beautiful,
and
brilliant.” She would think later about fighting for women’s rights. Today she was going to focus on making Abby’s day perfect.

She stood and moved over to where Abby’s dress was hanging on the door. “It’s lovely,” she breathed as she ran a hand down the light yellow dress trimmed in cream satin. “Can I help you get ready?”

“I would love that,” Abby said eagerly.

Carrie moved toward the door. “I brought assistants.” She opened the door to reveal Rose and Janie waiting outside. “I’m hopeless with hair, but Rose is a magician.”

“And I just don’t want to miss any of the excitement,” Janie laughed.

“Oh, Janie,” Abby murmured. “This must be so hard.”

“Not at all,” Janie said firmly. “It gives me hope. You have found true love twice. It helps me believe that I may someday find a man worthy of me,” she said smugly.

Abby laughed. “You have come a long way.”

Janie nodded, suddenly somber. “I know better than to think all the pain and regret will go away so quickly, but that doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate love when I see it.” She waved her hand toward the chair in front of the oak armoire with a massive mirror. “It’s time to let Rose do her magic.”

Abby smiled and seated herself. “No woman ever had a more perfect wedding party,” she said softly. “I am all yours, Rose.”

One hour later, after much talk and laughter, Abby was ready. She had tears in her eyes when she gazed at herself in the mirror. “Oh my…”

“You are absolutely beautiful,” Janie said with awe.

Abby stared at herself. The yellow dress hugged her slim figure, illuminating the golden glow the sun had given her in the last weeks and making her gray eyes seem even bigger. Her soft brown hair was pulled up into a loose bun on top of her head. Loose tendrils curled lightly around her face, but she knew it was the look of sheer joy that made her beautiful. “I do believe you’re right,” she whispered, almost stunned with the sheer delight shining from her eyes. “I never believed I would feel this way again.”

“The day is only going to get better,” Carrie proclaimed. “While we’ve been up here, everyone else has been downstairs getting everything ready.”

“I do believe I remember saying that things should be simple,” Abby protested.

“Yes, I remember that too,” Carrie agreed calmly. “I also seem to remember saying I would do it my way. You are marrying
my
father, the least I can do is attempt to make it the most special day of your life.”

Tears filled Abby’s eyes. “I didn’t really have a wedding with George,” she admitted. “My family was appalled I was marrying a Northerner, so they ignored the whole marriage. He didn’t have family and I hadn’t made many friends yet, so it was rather a solitary event.”

Carrie wrapped her arm around her waist. “Not this time!” she declared joyfully. “You’re going to be surrounded by people who love you. I know if we were in Philadelphia the church would be overflowing with people, but
hundreds
of people couldn’t equal the love all of us feel for you.

A light tap sounded at the door. “Everything is ready,” Jeremy called.

Carrie turned to Abby. “I believe that is our cue.”

Rose and Janie both kissed Abby on the cheek and promised they would see her downstairs.

Abby turned to Carrie. “Since you seem to be in control of this wonderful day, I am yours to command.”

“Could you repeat that, please?” Carrie teased. “It may be the only time I hear you say it.”

Abby laughed and then twirled in front of the mirror. “I feel like a girl again,” she said, her eyes shining brightly. “Please take me to your father. I don’t believe I can wait another minute.”

Carrie grinned, took her hand, and led her to the top of the stairs. As soon as they appeared, Janie began to play the piano softly.

Matthew, who had been waiting in the alcove at the top of the stairs, stepped up to Abby’s side. “It would be my great honor to give you away, Mrs. Livingston,” he said gravely, his eyes twinkling with fun.

Abby smiled and reached up to kiss him on the cheek. “I can’t think of anyone more perfect.”

Carrie squeezed her hand. “I’ll see you downstairs.” She turned and ran down the stairs, smiling with delight when she saw what everyone had done to the parlor. There was hardly a spot that wasn’t full of vases of fresh-cut flowers. Greenery hung over all the doorframes and windows, and fresh air blew in, turning the parlor into a fragrant fantasy.