Casey's Warriors (Bondmates) (20 page)

“You really want me to marry someone else?”

His expression closed down but not before she felt a mixture of longing and hurt so staggering it made her breath catch. “There is someone, very special to me, that I would like you to consider.”

“Who?”

She found her curiosity was overwhelming her anger and fear as she tried to see the world through Lorn’s eyes. He was right, she couldn’t think of this from the point of view of Casey the college student. That life might be gone forever, and if she wanted what Lorn had to offer, she needed to try and listen to him without judgment. But it was so hard to keep an open mind when her inner critic was yelling at her for even considering such a whorish thing as fucking around on a man who might be her husband—even if he did want to set her up with other men.

What a mess.

A wave of fondness came from Lorn and she let herself sink into it, his love clearing her head and her heart. “He is my blood brother. A man I have known for hundreds of cycles and who has been my partner for almost as long. He is a good, honorable male who would love you with all of his heart.”

“How can you say that? He doesn’t even know me. I mean we could meet each other and it could be hate at first sight.”

His soft chuckle irritated her and she clenched her jaw as he smiled at her. “You will not hate him. I believe it is impossible to hate Nast.”

“That’s his name? Nast?”

“Yes.” Affection poured into her and she softened even though she didn’t like how his love deflected her anger. Jealousy tried to rear its ugly head but this feeling of love was different than what he felt for her. Lorn reached out and took her hand, stroking her with his thumb as his gaze went distant. “Nast is the youngest son of a poor House that ruled one of the small agricultural districts of Kadothia. Despite being born into a lazy House with a Matriarch who always believed things should be handed to her, he worked his way up to become one of our greatest fighters and has a very generous heart. Of all the men in the universe he is the only one I would choose for you as a second husband, Casey. Feel the truth of my words.”

His desperation pushed into her and she wanted to relent, to give him what he was asking for but she just couldn’t. There was no way two men could share a woman and not get jealous. It just didn’t happen and then she’d be stuck in some distant galaxy with a husband who hated her, or that she hated in return. Tears threatened to fall as she said, “Lorn…I don’t think I can marry more than one man.”

With a soft sigh he pulled her close, tucking her head beneath his chin so she could nuzzle her face against his throat. “Shhh, my bride. There is no rush. If it is meant to be it will happen, but I will not force it. You mean too much to me and your happiness always comes first. I hope that once our bond is complete you will understand what I’m trying to tell you, to share with you, but rest assured I would never, ever force you to love someone. Please believe me, Casey.”

She mulled this over, trying to see it from his point of view even as she struggled with the knowledge that Lorn wanted to share her. “Are we bonded now?”

“Almost. There is a ceremony where we are blessed by the Lord of Life that is the final step.” He drew in a deep breath, his hope moving through her like a warm breeze, calming her soul. “Are you saying you wish to honor me with a bond?”

Letting out a slow breath, she hesitated. “Can I think about it?”

Hurt flowed through their bond and she winced when he said, “You do not want me?”

“I mean this is more serious than marriage. I want you Lorn, with everything I have, but I also don’t want to make this commitment on a whim. And everything you’ve told me tonight…it’s a lot to take in. Can I please just have a little more time? I’m really, really tired and I just want to go to sleep.”

For a long moment he was silent and she had trouble sensing him at all. She felt like she was alone in her body, as weird as that sounded. It disturbed her more than she would like to admit and she tried to reach out to him, to somehow follow the muted path of emotion, but she couldn’t reach him. Panic gnawed at her and she tried harder, searching for him even though she had no idea how to do it.

Her voice came out high with stress as she said, “Lorn, why can’t I feel you?”

“Easy, Casey. I am still here. I have shielded myself from you. Once you learn how the bond works you could easily rip my shields down, but for right now I ask that you respect my privacy.”

The tears that had threatened earlier now fell freely at the loss of his touch inside her heart. “Why are you shielding yourself? Are you mad at me?”

“What? No, no,
alyah
, I am not mad at you. Not at all.” He cupped her face with his hands, brushing away her tears. “I am shielding because I do not want to hurt you or influence your decision. I also want you to love me for who I am with no lies between us and I do not want you with me out of pity because my pain.”

“You’re hurting?”

He placed a gentle kiss on her temple. “I am okay,
alyah
. Please do not be upset. I am trying to protect you. It is difficult but I am doing everything to give you the space you need to decide what you want. I never want you feeling like you were manipulated into doing something because of my wishes and needs.”

Pulling his arms closer around her she tried to close the emotional distance between them by having his body enfolding her as much as she could. “Can you lower them just a little bit, please?”

“Why?”

“Because…I miss you. I feel alone without you and I don’t like it.”

The smallest bit of Lorn returned to her heart and she let out a sigh that held so much relief it was almost comical. “Thank you.”

He made a hand motion that lowered the lights until they were in absolute darkness. Then his arm moved again and the wall dissolved, revealing the glory of the universe to her. Awe filled her, trumping even the mess of emotions currently swirling around in her head. With his love and reassurance filling her, she was able to relax, and as her thoughts slowed, she found that the emotional pain had eased as well. Lorn’s words kept running through her head and the more she thought about it the more he made sense; she had no doubt he was being truthful with her. While she could be totally wrong, she didn’t think he could lie to her when they were connected like this. Besides, he could have easily not even talked about those things he had to know would upset her, but she had a feeling his sense of honor wouldn’t allow it. He seemed to be doing everything he could to make sure she knew exactly who he was and what her life would be like if she married him.

Scary, but wonderful.

Far off in the distant reaches of space, an endless field of stars glimmered behind the curve of Jupiter and she marveled that she was here, seeing this, while being held by a man who was even more amazing than the view. The thought of returning to Earth didn’t hold the appeal it did when she’d first arrived on the ship. Yes, she would miss her family terribly, but what Lorn offered her, the good she could do in that distant galaxy by protecting men like Lorn and the innocent people of all those planets against the Hive, weighed heavily on her mind. What would she do on Earth that would have such an impact on so many people? Her dreams of someday being a manager of a five-star hotel seemed petty compared to a future at Lorn’s side. But the thought of her family never knowing what happened to her, always searching for an answer they would never find, tore at her heart. She spent a long, long time staring out into the Universe and wondering about her place in it.

Chapter Ten

Nast walked through the barracks housing the youngest of the new Warrior recruits and tried not to smile as the men fell all over themselves trying to come to attention during his unannounced inspection. They were on planet Obulous, a small planet that was entirely a temperate jungle. The people of Obulous were an aggressive society of tribes and the world was filled with hostile plants and animals, making it a perfect training ground for the recruits. At the other end of the room stood a tall woman with dark green skin and four arms dressed in shiny bronze armor, clearly an elder battle maiden of the Obulous society. Wrinkles creased her face but her body was still as strong as that of a young woman. The Obulons were a long-lived race and many, many cycles ago the elder battle maiden had been one of Nast’s trainers when he was a recruit.

The woman, Dreda, gave him a small smirk as she watched the recruits scramble about, making sure their bunks were squared away, their gear properly stored, and their uniforms were in order.

He slowly strolled past the eight-person-high sleep pods going up the far side of the room and had to bite his inner cheek at the sheer panic his presence caused. Earlier in the day he’d sent in a group of native women to flirt and divert the men in order to see who was susceptible to being easily distracted when the men had been told to clean their weapons. The results were easy enough to figure out. Those who had spent their time responding to the flirting and adoring attention of the women had weapons that were still covered with the sticky mud of the training pits, while those that had either resisted the women’s charms, or feared an ass chewing from Nast, had gear that was sparkling clean.

Warrior recruits wore grey uniforms to denote their status and the deep orange mud stood out against the armor and weapons.

Nast waited until he reached the center of the massive egg shaped chamber and slowly turned around.

At his side Vilpon, his second-in-command, made a disgusted noise and said in a low voice, “Pathetic. Less than half managed to get their gear clean, and all because of women with four breasts.”

Cutting a glance in Dreda’s direction, Nast softly replied, “Well, they
are
nice breasts.”

Vilpon shook his head, his green Healer’s armor gleaming beneath the overhead lights. The other man had light brown hair streaked with black and a casual grace that went well with his lean, muscled body. Like Nast, he came from the Western Continent and the two men had spent a great deal of time together as recruits.

Giving Nast an amused look, Vilpon whispered, “Too bad the Obuloun women would never consider being pleasure servants.”

Unable to help himself, Nast barked out a laugh. “Are you serious? You know rumor has it they castrate men who disappoint them in bed, right?”

Giving him a wolfish smile, Vilpon said, “Well then, I’d just have to make sure that never happened.”

Before Nast could reply Dreda joined them with an amused smile. “You two are as bad as your recruits.”

Instead of looking abashed at being caught, Vilpon gave Dreda a charming smile. “You can’t blame a man for being entranced by your beauty.”

Dreda rolled her eyes. “Are you gentlemen ready to put some fear into these soft little boys? My women could have slit the throats of over half of your recruits today.”

Giving a disgusted sigh, Nast nodded. “For most of them this is their first time off-planet and away from their families, but that doesn’t mean shit. Time to bring the pain. Vilpon, if you will.”

All humor left Vilpon’s face, and he turned to the now silent recruits. “All eyes forward, you pathetic bunch of
nimnam
larva.”

Nast took a step forward and anger clenched his gut at the sight of so many recruits with fucked up gear. “All of you who have gear that is still dirty, put it on. NOW.”

His voice rang through the giant room and men scrambled to do as he commanded. Once everyone who had dirty armor was geared up, he shook his head in disgust. “Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. I cannot believe you let some tits distract you from your duty. This isn’t Kadothia, gentlemen. Your Matriarch isn’t going to be here to help you wipe your ass, and your gear is the only thing that is going to keep you alive. Because you don’t love your weapons and your armor like you should, you are about to get well-acquainted with it. We’re going to go on a nice run through the forest. A three-day run. By the time we’re done running your pathetic hides, that armor is going to be fused to your body with your blood, sweat and tears.”

Nast had to clench his teeth at the psychic wave of utter dismay coming from the troops, then nodded to Vilpon. The man in the green armor stepped forward and let his gaze roam over the lines of recruits. “All of you that have clean gear, congratulations. I’d love to say how proud of you I am and make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but that’s not fucking true. You should have made sure every fucking man in your division was squaring his shit away. Every one. These men may one day save your miserable, useless asses. Your fellow recruits are your greatest weapon, your best armor, and in allowing them to fuck around and stare at titties instead of taking care of their shit you fucked up. So to make sure you understand that you are all one fucking unit, you’re going to run with those pathetic wastes of air. And you will thank them when we’re done.”

Anger now mixed with the despair and when Dreda stepped forward in all her muscled glory and crossed her arms over her chest and waist, a collective inhalation of air swept through the barracks the subtle roar of an ocean wave, and with good reason. Dreda and her women were merciless with the recruits. The men of Kadothia were the only thing that stood between them and the Hive, and unlike these recruits, the Obuloun knew it and did their best to hone the recruits into the most deadly fighters possible. Dreda, in particular, was pitiless, but she was also kind and compassionate beneath her hard exterior. She wanted every man here to live and did everything she could to make that happen.

“Recruits,” she said with a low purr in her voice that made Nast’s balls draw up even tighter, “just to make things interesting, those pretty females that were in here earlier will be hunting you.”

Vilpon coughed and Nast had a hell of a time keeping a straight face at the shock and misery showing clearly on some of the men’s faces.

Moving slowly down the line of men scrambling into their armor, Dreda smiled, revealing sharp teeth. “But don’t worry, we aren’t hunting to kill, though you may wish we had. Instead we’re going to make you respect your armor, love your armor, and care for your armor. If we catch you we’re going to shove stinging thorns under the armor, which will make you very, very uncomfortable during your run. If we catch you more than once we’ll be wrapping it around those big dicks you’re all so fond of.”