Change of Heart (11 page)

It was a big deal, and she knew it. She wouldn't pretend like it wasn't.

“I'm so sorry, Ani,” she whispered into my ear. “That sucks.”

“I'm fine.”

“I'm still sorry.”

“I know.”

She held me close for another minute, and when she let me go, Liz and Ellie were standing in the doorway and Bram was gone.

“So you finally told her,” Liz said with a small smile, swatting us as she pushed by us to get to the fridge. “Good. We don't need secrets in this family.”

I looked up, meeting Kate's narrowed eyes, and barely held back the nervous laugh that was bubbling up inside me.

“Look, I got you a pretty new couch to sleep on,” I announced later that night, leading Henry into my house.

“Aw, I hate
pullouts
,” Henry complained jokingly.

“Wear a condom and you don't have to,” I said back, making him laugh. “Sorry, I don't have any other furniture, and there's no TV out here.”

“No problem, I'll probably just crash here anyway. I've got plans with Trev and the 'rents pretty much every day.”

“Oh good. I didn't want you all up in my shit all the time anyway,” I mumbled.

“Aw, don't worry, Anita Bonita. I'll have plenty of time for you,” he shot back, ruffling my hair as he passed me. “We'll go out this week and hit the bar. I won't be up in your shit…unless you're into anal.”

“Shut the fuck up,” I choked on a laugh.

“No really, I'd be down for anal.”

“Not happening.”

“My heart is broken.”

“I'm going to break your dick in a minute.”

Henry cupped his junk in his hands in fear. “Fine, no anal.”

“Jesus,” I muttered, shaking my head as I moved toward the kitchen. “You want a beer?”

“Sure,” he called back as he riffled around in his bag. “Where's your—”

His words cut off as someone started knocking on my door.

“Who the hell is that?” I asked, even though I didn't expect him to answer. I carried the two open beer bottles to the front door and swung it open.

“For me? Thanks,” Alex said as he stepped in my front door, snagging a beer out of my hand. “Love what you've done with the place.”

“What are you doing here?” I blustered as Bram followed him inside, taking the second beer from my hands.

“What the fuck?” Bram snarled as he moved past me.

“What?” I spun around as I closed the door and saw Henry standing naked in my living room. “Are you out of your fucking mind?” I screamed, covering my eyes.

“I was getting fucking pajama pants on!
You're welcome!
” Henry yelled back.

“Dude. No one wants to see your baby junk,” Alex laughed.

“You couldn't change in the bathroom?” I practically screeched with my hands still covering my eyes.

“You were getting beer. I thought I had time to change real quick,” Henry snapped back. “You can uncover your face, asshole.”

“Seriously? You couldn't even keep underwear on?” I sniped as I dropped my hands, very aware of the way Bram was glaring as he chugged the beer he'd stolen out of my hand.

“I don't wear underwear,” Henry said flatly.

“Oh, hell,” Alex gasped, his face getting redder and redder as he laughed. “This shit just keeps getting better.”

“Fuck all of you. I'm going to bed.” I threw my hands in the air and stormed to my room. I really hadn't wanted to see Henry's closely shaved blond pubic hair or frank and beans. If I'd had any inkling that I was going to have to deal with that shit, I would have told him he couldn't stay with me. I shuddered.

Before I could slam the door to my room, making my point even more firmly, Bram was pushing in behind me and closing us in.

“What are you doing?” I asked incredulously as he pushed us farther into the room. “Henry doesn't know, jackass.”

“He's about to,” Bram replied roughly, pushing his hands into my hair.

“Uh, no,” I muttered, dodging his lips.

“What, you won't kiss me now?”

“Not when you're being a jackass,” I mocked. “Henry was being Henry—this jealousy bullshit is misplaced.”

“Jealousy?” Bram barked out a laugh. “Henry's hung like a twelve-year-old.”

“Actually—”

“You really don't want to finish that sentence,” he said darkly.

I scoffed. Stupid boys and their appendages. It was all ridiculous.

“I've been with you all day,” Bram said in annoyance, tightening his hands in my hair. “And I haven't been able to touch you once.”

My entire body seemed to soften at his words.

“Oh,” I sighed, reaching up to rest my hands on his forearms.

“The kids know—”

“I'm sorry I didn't realize that you'd keep Alex quiet,” I apologized, grimacing.

“—so I'm staying the night.”

“Wait, what?”

His mouth covered mine, and I groaned as my hands slid off his arms and went straight to the bottom of his shirt, sliding under it so I could feel the soft, warm skin of his stomach.

“You're so fucking sexy,” he said against my lips as my fingers found his nipples, making him shudder.

I lifted my arms above my head so he could pull off my T-shirt, and before the fabric had even hit the floor, my bra was gone, too.

“I hate it when you wear a bra,” he grumbled, making me giggle.

“T-shirts require a bra—even for me,” I informed him as he tore off his own T-shirt.

“Bullshit,” he argued with a grin. Then he tackled me to the bed, making me laugh. “You're missing a few things,” he said suddenly, pulling his face from mine.

“What?” I looked down at my bare chest and denim-covered legs.

“This,” he murmured, tickling my nose as he pulled my septum ring down until it was visible. “And this.” He slid a finger into my mouth, rubbing it over my tongue, his hips jerking as I sucked.

“Tongue ring is in my purse,” I said after he'd pulled his finger away. “In the living room.”

Bram paused for a second, then a small smile pulled at his lips as he yanked me off the bed. Before I knew what he was doing, his T-shirt was being pulled over my head and my jeans were whisked down my legs.

“Now go get it,” Bram ordered, his gaze roaming up my body and pausing at my hard nipples beneath the thin cotton.

“Are you serious?”

“I wanna feel that ring tonight,” he said huskily, making my stomach clench in need.

“Okay,” I whispered back.

I took a deep breath and opened my bedroom door as Bram started unbuttoning his jeans.
Jesus, he was hot.

As quietly as I could, I walked out into the living room, where Alex and Henry were spread out on the sofa bed drinking my beer and chatting. I was hoping to make it to the entryway where I'd left my purse without notice, but Alex caught me sneaking by and a wicked grin spread over his face.

“Nice shirt,” Alex called out, catching Henry's attention.

“Good color on you,” Henry said, nodding his head.

“The white T-shirt is ‘in' this season,” Alex agreed, tilting his head to the side like he was trying to get the perfect angle.

“Is this an invitation?” Henry asked with a completely straight face. “I'll come to the party.”

I gritted my teeth at their teasing and crouched down carefully at my purse, fishing through the side pocket for my tongue ring. As soon as it was in my hand, I raised it to my mouth and secured it on my tongue.

“No,” I said huskily, rising as I turned back toward them. “Bram just asked me to put in my tongue ring.” I shrugged and stuck out my tongue, making their eyes widen. “He likes it on his dick.”

Both guys groaned as I laughed.

“I think she just schooled us,” I heard Alex say from the living room as I got to my bedroom doorway.

“I think I just came,” Henry bitched back.

I giggled, glancing behind me as a strong hand reached through the doorway and pulled me inside.

“Shit,” I murmured groggily the next morning as my phone rang on the nightstand table.

“Whose phone is that?” A voice startled me from the floor, making me jerk back into Bram's warm body.

“What the hell?” I asked, leaning over the bed to find Alex and Henry asleep on my floor.

“It was cold in your living room,” Alex mumbled, turning his head away from my glare. “You need new windows.”

I just got new windows.
Ugh.
My phone stopped ringing, then started up again.

“Hello?” I answered quietly. I didn't want to wake Bram up, but I was naked under the blankets. There was no way I was going to get out of bed before Thing One and Thing Two left the room.

“Anita?” a woman's voice asked.

“Yep. This is her. Who's this?”

“Hey, um, it's Beth. Bethy. Your sister?”

I stopped breathing.

“Yeah, Bethy. I know who you are, kid. What's up?”

I hadn't talked to her since my birth mom had called to tell me Bethy was pregnant, and I so badly wanted to rip her a new one for being so stupid—but I didn't. The milk was spilled at that point. The only thing left to do was try and clean it up.

Bram's hand slid around my waist as he sleepily curled closer, his palm resting on my stomach.

“Well, um, Mom told you that I'm pregnant, right?” she asked tentatively.

“Yeah, dude. She did.”
Why the fuck didn't you make him put on a condom?

“Well, I'm almost due. You know, with the baby.” Her last words were sort of muffled, and in that moment, I fully understood how very young and immature my fifteen-year-old sister was.

“Oh, yeah?” I asked, wondering where she was going with the conversation. I sent presents to her and my brothers on their birthdays and Christmas, and I tried to call at least once every couple months but none of them had ever called me.

“I-was-wondering-if-you-could-take-it,” she rushed out.

She said it so fast that, for a moment, I didn't understand the words, but when I did, my world narrowed down to just me and the phone in my hand.

“What?” I rasped out.

“I was hoping you could adopt it.”

“What?”

“Stop saying ‘what.' Just tell me no if you don't want to,” she snapped. “I can find someone else.”

“I—” I swallowed hard. “You dropped a bomb here. Can I have a second to process?”

“I need to know soon. I'm due in two weeks so it could be coming out at any time. Someone needs to be here to take it home.” She sounded so detached from the whole thing that it made my stomach churn with nausea. It? She kept calling the baby
it
.

“Can I call you back?” I asked, pressing my fingertips to my forehead as my head started to ache.

“Yeah, let me know.”

She hung up without saying good-bye and before I could ask any more questions.

“Who was that?” Bram asked, his beard brushing my shoulder as he kissed it softly.

“My little sister,” I replied, relaxing as he pulled me tighter against him.

“The one that's having a baby?”

“Yeah.” I rested my hand on his and changed the subject. “Do you know that Alex and Hen are on the floor?”

“Yeah, idiots came in after you passed out last night, drunk as shit and freezing. Told them they could sleep on the floor.” His sleep-roughened voice was amused, and I couldn't help the way my lips twitched in response.

“I hope you kept me covered up,” I whispered lightly.

“Yeah.” His hand smoothed up my torso and crossed over my chest, his forearm hiding one breast and his hand covering the other. “Like this,” he chuckled. “You sleep hot so, when they came in the door, the blankets were pushed down to our waists.”

“Great,” I mumbled, making his body shake with laughter.

“They didn't see anything,” he whispered, kissing my ear softly, then taking the lobe between his lips. “Wish they'd wake up and get out so I could fuck you.”

“Henry! Alexander!” I yelled loudly, making Bram jerk behind me and the guys on the floor moan. “Get the fuck up and get the fuck out!”

Bram laughed as Henry pushed himself up on his hands and knees, crawling out of the bedroom and dragging his blanket with him.

“Go ahead. We're brothers. I'll just pretend I'm not here,” Alex said, pushing his head farther into the throw pillow he was sleeping on.

Bram laughed harder.

“Not going to happen!” I yelled again, making Alex's hand fly to cover his ear. “Get out!”

“Assholes,” Alex hissed, climbing to his feet and stomping out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

“Problem solved,” I murmured as Bram's hips rolled against my ass.

My stomach was still in knots over the phone call with my sister, but I wasn't going to get any thinking done with my house full of hungover men. Instead, I closed my eyes and arched my neck as Bram's fingers pinched my nipple, then moved farther south. Then my mind went completely blank.

Y
ou good?” I murmured to Ani, setting my hand at the base of her spine.

“Yeah, just taking it all in,” she replied with a small smile as she looked around the room.

We were standing in my parents' dining room, watching as our family crowded in around the table. Shane and Katie's big kids were setting out silverware and drinking glasses while the little ones got set up in their high chairs. Alex was arguing with Trevor about something, and the longer he talked, the madder Trevor got, while Henry watched in amusement. Shane was helping Katie with the kids, following her around like a puppy while all the grandparents watched, talking amongst themselves while they got to their seats.

“Nice having everyone home,” I said with a nod, rubbing my thumb back and forth over her soft tank top.

“Yeah…loud,” she said with a laugh.

“Why don't you go get a seat? You want a beer?” I asked, giving her a little push.

“Yeah, Hef if they have it, soda if they don't,” she replied with a wink over her shoulder as she stepped away from me.

I walked through the kitchen and out the back door to the cooler on the back porch, and that's where my mom cornered me. I knew it was coming, but I was still startled when I turned around and she was standing behind me.

“You and Ani?” she asked, raising one eyebrow.

I'd done a lot of thinking over the past couple of days. When we'd spent that first day at my parents' when everyone had just gotten into town, I'd been nervous as fuck that someone was going to pick up on what was going down between me and Ani. I'd been like a fucking long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

But when Alex had actually figured it out? I was oddly relieved.

As one by one the kids had figured out what was going on, I felt more and more comfortable—which surprised the hell out of me. I hadn't wanted anyone to know. I honestly hadn't. The pressure of that was a little too much to deal with when we were nothing but fuck buddies.

But over the past few days, I'd liked being able to touch her when people were around. I
liked
going out to the bar with Ani and my siblings and cousins, being able to kiss her when I wanted and knowing that she was headed home with me when she was shitty drunk and bouncing off the walls.

But I'd known that the parents were going to pick up on the difference between us, and I wasn't wrong. Now I was going to hear about it.

“Yeah,” I said quietly, scratching at my beard. I glanced at my mom out of the corner of my eye as she laughed softly.

“You know, people have
always
read you and Alex wrong,” she said with a shake of her head. “I probably did too, for about twenty minutes or so.” She laughed again, stepping under my armpit to wrap her arms around my waist as we looked over the backyard.

“Alex is so outgoing. He's a people pleaser, no doubt about it,” she said with a fond smile. “And you're so quiet. You bluster and bang around like you're pissed at everything.”

I grunted. Yeah, I'd heard all the comparisons before.

“So it's not surprising that people assume Alex cares what they think.” I looked at her in surprise as she squeezed my waist. “He doesn't. He doesn't give two shits what anyone else thinks. You, though? You've always cared—maybe too much.”

“Mom—”

“Zip it, Abraham,” she scolded. “You, my son, have always worried far more than your brother did about what Dad and I thought. Ever since you were little.”

“Yeah, probably,” I said hoarsely.

“No probably about it. But when Dad and I took you in? You were ours from that moment. Didn't matter what you did or said, we were in it for the long haul no matter what came. You need to remember that—it's an absolute truth.”

“Okay—”

“And Ani?” Mom cut me off. “She's a lot like you. Oh, I know she's rough around the edges. Growing up the way she did made sure of that. But she cares what we think, she worries about how we perceive her. Hell, she's had her tongue pierced and that god-awful thing in her nose for ages, and she's still trying to hide it.” Mom chuckled. “Bottom line—we don't care if you two are together. You didn't grow up side by side. Ani came to us as practically an adult already. Your relationship with her is your business.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“But Abraham?”

“Yeah?”

“Something goes wrong with you two?” she said as she pulled away and moved toward the back door. “You don't bring that shit to my table, you hear me?”

“I hear you.”

Mom left me on the back porch, staring at the beer in my hands. That had gone a lot easier than I'd envisioned.

I set the warming beers back in the cooler and grabbed a couple new ones to take inside.

“All good?” Alex asked as he passed me on his way to get drinks.

“Yep.”

I found Ani sitting with an empty chair beside her and grinned as I sat down. I was pretty sure Alex had been sitting there before I came in. He was going to be irritated as shit to sit between Gavin and my aunt Ellie in the only spot left. Gavin couldn't keep his food on his plate, and Aunt Ellie kept asking Alex when he was going to find a nice girl.

“Your brother's going to kill you,” Ani said with a smile as I set her beer in front of her.

When she looked at me, my tongue got stuck to the roof of my mouth. Shit, she was pretty. Her hair was crazy around her face, and she wasn't wearing any makeup since we were only having family dinner before we headed back to her place. She wasn't even showing any skin in the concert T-shirt she was wearing. But shit, was she pretty.

Ani went still as I leaned forward and raised my hand, gently nudging her septum ring down until it hung beneath her nose.

“Bram,” she said quietly, her eyes darting around the table as my thumb swept over her cheek.

I leaned closer.

“They already know it's there, baby,” I teased, watching her eyes grow wide. “Might as well flaunt it.”

I kissed her softly.

I knew then that something had shifted. Hell, I'd known it the minute Henry slapped her ass and I'd wanted to choke him to death with his own hands.

Even if I said it a thousand times, I wasn't just fucking Ani. It never could have been that, and I was an idiot for assuming it could. Our lives were intertwined. I cared too much before we'd started sleeping together. There was no way I was going to be able to shut that off once I'd been inside her.

We liked the same things. Liked each other. There wouldn't be any talk of kids or pressure to move her into my place when she had her own cool-as-fuck house. She was pretty much perfect for me, and knowing that was almost a relief. I could stop fighting it. My body actually relaxed at the thought.

“We're together, yeah?” I asked, leaning my forehead against hers.

“I think once we started sleeping in the same bed most nights, we were together,” she replied quietly.

“I'm a little slow on the uptake.”

“That's okay.” She wrinkled her nose and grinned at me, and my stomach flipped.

“Gross, Uncle Bram!” Keller yelled as I leaned in to kiss her again.

The table grew loud as everyone dug into their dinners. Fifteen conversations were going on at once, but I could barely pay attention to any of them because Ani's hand was resting on my thigh underneath the table. She wasn't trying to turn me on—she wouldn't do that in my parents' house—it was more of a comfort thing.

She finally had permission to touch me whenever she wanted, and she was using it.

“Ani, I think your phone's ringing,” Alex called from down the table. “Did you leave it in the kitchen?”

“Oh shit,” Ani mumbled, her hand sliding off my leg as she jumped to her feet. “Sorry, I have to get that.”

She left the room, and conversation started up again at the table, but I couldn't focus. Who was calling her on the weekend? Everyone she talked to was already here. I watched the door, but it was almost twenty minutes before she came back in, looking completely shell-shocked.

“Ani?” my Aunt Ellie asked as I got slowly to my feet.

“What's wrong?” Kate got up from her seat as well.

“Uh…” Ani looked around the table, then stopped with her eyes on my mom. “I'm going to be a mom.”

“What?” my mom whispered as she pushed herself up out of her seat.

“I'm adopting a baby.” Ani's eyes watered as her face broke out in the biggest grin I'd ever seen, and everyone surged up from their places at the table and started talking all at once.

They were asking her the specifics, when she was getting the baby, who the baby was, and how it happened.

All I could do was stand there, my fingers clenching against the edge of the table as I watched her, white noise filling my head.

It was over. Jesus Christ, it had just started, and it was already fucking over.

And I was such a fucking idiot for letting any of it happen in the first place.

Dinner after that was filled with talk of Ani's new baby.

A fucking baby.

What the hell was she thinking?

I knew from bits and pieces of her conversations with the people around the table that she was going to take her sister's kid in. Apparently the girl had called Ani and asked her if she could, then called back a few hours later demanding an answer.

So many things could go wrong.

Ani's hand fell lightly into my lap again, and I didn't move it. My mom had asked me to keep our shit from her table less than an hour before, and I'd told her that I would.

I didn't want to.

I wanted to drag Ani out of the house and fucking shake her.

That kid could come out with a whole host of medical problems. Her little sister could change her fucking mind. The baby's dad could step in and say he wanted it. If she did this, she'd never escape her birth mother. She'd always be there in the goddamn wings, reminding Ani of how she'd thrown her own daughter away.

It was the most ridiculous plan I'd ever heard in my life, and I was practically vibrating with the need to start laughing as the shit show at the dinner table played out.

She didn't even know if it was a boy or girl. Her house was a fucking disaster. She had zero experience with taking care of a baby and had a goddamn full-time job.

“Hey, you okay?” Ani asked, turning to me as my brother and Shane started clearing the table. Her eyes were shining, and she couldn't seem to keep a smile off her face.

“Fine,” I answered with a nod, clearing my throat. What the hell was I supposed to say?

“I think I'm going to head home,” she said with an overwhelmed sigh. “Oh shit. I rode with Alex.”

“It's all right, I'll take you,” I said, the words flowing out of my mouth before I could change my mind.

“Ani,” my dad called as we stood from the table and started saying our good-byes. “You clean out a bedroom. Me and Dan'll bring all the boys by tomorrow and get it finished up for you.”

“Are you sure?” Ani stuttered through her words. “It needs to be painted and the floors done and everything.”

“Well, we'll get the walls done tomorrow. Come back the next day for the floors,” Uncle Dan piped in with a smile.

“Okay,” Ani said, her voice high. “That would be rad. Thank you.”

I ushered her out of the house before they could waylay her with anything else. I needed to get the fuck out of there before I blew. Now I had to go to her house for the next two days to prepare for a baby that I thought was a really fucking bad idea? There was no way my dad and Uncle Dan would let me out of it without giving me a huge ration of shit. I clenched my teeth hard as we climbed in my truck and drove back to Ani's place.

I'd talk her out of it once we were alone and she wasn't surrounded by offers of help and congratulations.

“Hey,” Ani called as I rounded the hood of my truck, jumping into my arms like a spider monkey. “I don't know if being able to touch each other during family events is any better than not touching,” she said with a small laugh. “I've wanted you all day.”

She leaned in to kiss me, and I inhaled deeply. She always smelled so good. I'd miss that.

“Let's get inside,” I said gruffly, grabbing ahold of her ass so I could walk us to the front door. “Keys?”

As soon as we were inside, it was like the floodgates opened.

Ani danced around the house, cleaning up Henry's mess from that morning and racing around to pick up random dish towels and shoes. She was talking about the baby—some shit about her sister and how soon she'd go into labor—but I swear to God I barely heard a word she said.

She was so happy. I'd never seen her so bubbly and excited, and I hated that I was going to have to stop all that. When I finally couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer, I grabbed her by the hand and wrapped an arm around her waist.

“You really think this is a good idea?” I blurted out, no buildup whatsoever.

“What?” Ani laughed nervously, pulling away from me. “What do you mean?”

“This whole—” I threw my arm out to the side. “—baby thing.”

“Do I think it's a good idea?” she asked incredulously. “Uh, yeah. Or I wouldn't be doing it.”

She took a couple steps away from me, and I clenched my hands into fists at my sides.

“You're just going to take in some baby that you know nothing about? Just like that? No thinking it over or planning ahead?”

“It'll be a newborn, Bram,” she said slowly. “No one knows anything about it yet.”

“What if your sister's a cokehead?”

“That's a shitty thing to say.”

“She got pregnant at what, fourteen years old?”

“You are such a dick!” she hissed. “Sometimes I forget that, and then you open your mouth and I'm reminded all over again.”