Authors: Micki Fredricks
The dark tinted windows added to the lonely feelings invading my mind. I twisted my hands in my lap. I’d made a full swing from the poor girl with nobody who cared – to riding in fancy cars and wearing designer dresses while on my way to meet a roomful of very powerful men – but yet ... here I was, still alone.
The Brotherhood House was massive. It sat alone in the middle of the block with a deep front yard, commanding attention in a cold and isolated way. A waist high stone wall separated the grounds from the sidewalk, running from one end of the block to the other – allowing no confusion that this property belonged to important people. The front of the house had matching stone blocks and above the front door hung a huge plaque carved from the same stone. It read, “The House of The Brotherhood”. Wrought iron fencing ran along each side of the walk leading to the front door.
When the car stopped, so did my heart. I closed my eyes and prayed the driver would just keep going. When I heard the door open, I gingerly turned toward him but stopped. He leaned slightly into the car, “Would you like me to get Mr. Davis to accompany you to the house?”
I quickly shook my head, “No, that won’t be necessary.” I gathered up every bit of bravery I could muster and stepped outside of the car. It was eerily quiet. I suddenly wished I had paid more attention to the direction we were going. Cale had given me an idea of where the house was, but I was not exactly sure how to get back to my dorm. That shot down my fleeting thought of running for it.
I started up the walk toward the house, my heels announcing my presence with every step.
The door opened before I could knock and a man dressed in black pants and a white waiter’s jacket motioned me in with a sweep of his hand.
“Miss Clausen, please wait here. Someone will be out for you shortly.”
“Thank you,” I whispered to his back as he left the room.
I stood in the middle of a large open foyer. A crystal chandelier hung from the center of the room and under it stood a large round table with the biggest flower arrangement I had ever seen. I walked toward the table, cringing when my heel slid on the polished floor. To my right there was a large study with a fireplace, to my left – closed doors and an open staircase led up to an open balcony that looked down on the foyer.
I jumped when the doors opened and an intimidating figure started toward me. A small gasp escaped. I lightly placed my finger tips on the table to steady myself. It was the same face, only older. I wasn’t sure if it was the wisdom of years lived that made him so attractive, or the way he carried himself. Confidence oozed from him. He expected what he wanted–and he deserved it.
His green eyes locked onto mine as he strode toward me, with a predatory air about him. I held my breath, taking a tiny step backwards.
“Hello, Jenna.” His voice was smooth but powerful. He extended his hand to mine and I froze. His smile faltered for just a second, but was quickly replaced. He took a step closer to me and leaned in. “The evaluation has already begun, please remember your training.”
Even though he’d used pleasantries, I knew this wasn’t a request–it was a warning. What he was really saying was, ‘people are already watching you; don’t embarrass me or my son.’
My mother’s voice bounced around inside of my head, “Don’t miss out on the biggest opportunity of your life.” Something inside me clicked.
In that moment, I realized I was done letting these men take control of my destiny. My mom was right, this was the opportunity I was waiting for and I had messed everything up by letting my stupid emotions get involved – just like she always did.
No longer – I was going home with this sponsorship, and if, after that, Cale wanted nothing else from me that was more than fine. Today, I would start making my own path. I was done letting my mother’s horrible life decisions dictate my reaction or non-reaction to things. The control was about to shift; this is what I had come here for. No more cowering in the closet, no more messed up little girl.
So I leaned into the most powerful man I had ever met, and whispered, “I know my training sir, and I’m more than ready to become the next sponsored girl for The Brotherhood.” I stood tall, straightened my dress and inhaled deeply giving Mr. Davis a big smile. “Now, if the panel is ready for me, I would love to get this started.”
Cale’s father let his eyes rest on my face for long enough that my heart beat wildly, making me want to squirm, but I stood my ground never looking away from him.
Just when I thought I would lose it, he extended his arm to me and smirked. “Right this way, Miss Clausen.”
>CHAPTER TWENTY<
Cale insisted I come to the celebration party. I was in no mood to celebrate; even though I just found out I’d gotten the sponsorship. What I really wanted to do was to climb into my bed and sleep for days and days. But Cale was so excited when he called to give me the news, I couldn’t say no to him. Thinking back, I was not sure I’d ever said no to him.
He hadn’t mentioned anything about what happened in the alley. I guess we were both taking another ‘pass’ and I was fine with it. Something inside me knew last night was the final time Cale and I would entertain the idea of being anything more than friends. I needed to move on in my own direction, by myself. No Cale … my choice. No Ryan … destiny’s choice.
“How are you doing back there?” Katie walked a few feet ahead of me, holding tightly to Marcus’s hand. She glanced over her shoulder and flashed me a quick smile.
“Awesome,” I answered in an excited, high-pitched voice stopping both Katie and Marcus in their tracks.
“Why don’t you go ahead, we’ll catch up in a second?” Katie kissed Marcus on the cheek. He turned in my direction.
“Jen, I don’t know what’s going on with you and my brother, or you and Cale, or you and ... anything really.” He was as comfortable in these emotional moments as his brother. “But you have us, we’re here for you.” He motioned back and forth between himself and Katie and winked at me.
“I know,” I grumbled, feeling like the loser friend I was. “Thanks.” He leaned into Katie and whispered into her ear. Nodding her head at him, she turned to give me her full attention.
“What’s going on with you,” she asked as she walked back to where I stood.
“I don’t know.” I threw my hands in the air like a little kid throwing a fit.
“Is this all about that stupid fight you and Ryan had?”
“That was not a stupid fight; he practically called me a slut.” I had only given Katie parts of the story. Not because I wanted to keep anything from her, but if I was being honest, I couldn’t even handle all the drama of it myself … I didn’t want to force it onto someone else. I kept the intimate details to myself this time.
“He did not. He said you were allowing people to assume things about you that weren’t true.”
“Yes, things like I was having sex with Cale.”
“Well honestly, Jenna, you weren’t doing anything to make people think any differently.”
She was taking his side.
“Are you seriously saying you don’t think he did anything wrong?”
“No – the shit he pulled at Midnight was messed up. And I don’t even know what to think about last night. But what I am saying is, you need to relax. If you want to be with Cale, then be with him, but don’t get so pissed when Ryan doesn’t want to be around it. You know he has real feelings for you and he’s just trying to protect you.”
“Protect me from what?” I huffed as I walked past her.
“From yourself.” She said under her breath thinking I couldn’t hear her. Her heels clicked on the sidewalk as she tried to catch up to me, but I didn’t slow down.
“Remember, I won’t be home tonight. Marcus leaves tomorrow for that trip the elders are sending him on. We got a hotel room.”
I laughed at the way she sang the last part. Those two got hotel rooms all the time, even though she swore they hadn’t had sex yet.
“Can’t wait to hear all the details.” I laughed as I slowed down and grabbed her arm. She smiled at me and I laid my head on her shoulder as we walked toward the party. “I’m sorry I’m such a bitch,” I said with a sigh.
“It’s okay, I love you anyway.” She threw her head back and laughed out loud. Even if my entire world turned upside down, I knew after everything we had been through in the last few months … I would always have Katie.
The fraternity house was enormous. It had to be at least three stories tall with a porch that wrapped around the first story and a deck around the second.
There were people everywhere. As soon as we opened the door we were drowned in the craziness. A heavy fog of smoke lingered in the large house. The smell of it, mixed with alcohol and sweat was almost too much for my already sensitive stomach to handle. I covered my nose with my hand and tried to block it out. The rooms were wall to wall people. Most stood in little groups along the edges trying to yell over the pounding beat of the music while others transformed the center of the room into a makeshift dance floor.
The party was so loud it was impossible to hear what anyone was saying. This was actually a good thing. I wasn’t ready to hear anyone else’s opinion of me. Now that I’d been chosen for sponsorship, I was sure there was a target on my back.
Cale would be impossible to find in this mess of bodies; I sent a quick text.
“At the front door, come and save me”
Marcus waved his arms at us from across the room and mouthed for us to stay put, but that was impossible. Katie held onto me as we followed along the flow of people coming into the house. Some drunk in front of me turned suddenly, spilling beer all over himself. The whole crowd erupted with laughter and yelled “Beer foul”! The guy laughed and threw his hands in the air, heading toward a wall where a line of tapped beer kegs sat. The crowd shifted with him and everyone was forced to move in the same direction, whether you wanted to or not. Katie held onto my hand as tight as she could while she pushed against the crowd and toward Marcus.
The volume of the music lowered and the crowd began to chant drunk guy’s name. A group of guys lifted his legs above his head, suspending him into the air as he drank straight from the tapper. Everyone around him cheered and counted out loud. Apparently, making it the longest came with serious bragging rights.
Marcus grabbed Katie’s hand and pulled us both to him, handing each of us a cup. I looked back at the guy who was still upside down.
“It’s called a keg slam. When someone calls you out on a beer foul, you have to slam it straight from the keg,” Marcus said leaning into me so I could hear him.
“Sounds like a blast.” I said sarcastically as I took a drink. It was flat and tasted like fermented apple juice. “Yuck, this stuff is nasty!”
“What do you expect? I got it when I first got here so you wouldn’t have to wait in line. Hey, let’s go outside or something, it’s way too crowded in here.” He wrapped one arm around Katie’s neck and the other around mine; turning us both toward the direction we’d come from.
“Are you crazy? I’m not going anywhere until that guy is done doing his keg slam. There’s no way we would get through there anyway,” Katie laughed. Marcus dropped his arms from our shoulders and shot Katie a quick side glance.
Ryan’s voice cut through the other noise in the room. “Well, well … if it isn’t my soon to be sister-in-law and my ‘newly-sponsored, ex’-best friend’.”
I rolled my eyes but my heart dropped when I looked at him, even drunk he was incredible. His dark hair was a mess. I knew he’d been running his hands through it like he always did when he was upset – but it looked good on him. What didn’t look good on him was Dana, who sat on his lap. No wonder Marcus tried to usher us out of here.
Ryan wouldn’t look at me. He just sat on a dining room chair with little Miss Hottie all over him. His hand was on the back of her neck and I watched as he pulled her down whispering something into her ear. She giggled and I wanted to punch her right in the face.
Katie lightly grabbed my arm, “Come on, let’s go find Cale.”
Ryan glanced up at me and held my stare. “Yes, Jenna, run off to Cale like you always do. I’m sure he has a BMW or something waiting to make up for last night in the alley.”
I brought my hand around, putting every ounce of anger behind it. When I connected with his cheek, it caught him off guard. He lost his balance for a second, dumping Dana onto the floor. I smirked down at her before leaning toward him.
“What are you doing? Do you think this hurts me? Do you want to hurt me?”
He sat taller, getting as close to me as he could, “Why would this hurt you?” he asked in a sarcastic voice. “We are nothing to each other, remember?”
Tears threatened to spill over as I stared at him. I could feel the shaking at my core starting and I knew I needed to get as far away from him as possible. I pushed into the crowd. There were so many people, I had no idea where I was heading or where I would end up, but as long as it was away from Ryan, it was the right direction.
Drunk guy finished his keg slam so the entire crowd started shifting back to the dance floor, the exact opposite direction I wanted to go. The music came back with a thump as I tried to push forward.
“Back the hell up!” Someone yelled and the whole group of people shifted direction. I almost lost my balance, but strong arms grabbed me around the waist. I looked back into Cale’s face as he used his arm to clear a path and get us both away from the center of the room. Once at the edge of the room, he pulled me into a tight hug.
“Jenna, what happened? I came looking for you after your text and couldn’t find you.” I grabbed him around the waist and buried my face in his shirt. Ryan cut me so deeply with the truth in his words – my whole world had changed. He was right – we were nothing to each other anymore.
“Hey!” Ryan shouted from somewhere close. His voice sounded pissed and my heart started racing at the sound of it.
Cale slowly moved me behind him, keeping a hold of one of my hands. I pressed my face against the back of his arm, hoping to avoid what was about to happen.
“Jenna, what the hell? You’re just going to walk away from me again?”