Choices (18 page)

             
“Never.” I say in response.

             
“Stop it mother. We don’t know what’s going to happen when the baby comes. This could just be a temporary thing.” Once it’s out of her mouth she gasps, hands fly to her mouth in shock by her own words. I on the other hand am pissed, and embarrassed. The room is dead silent, eyes on my mother.

             
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what possessed me to say that.”

             
“It’s okay Mary.” Carter says. I interrupt him, infuriated.

             
“No, it’s not okay. That was impolite and accusatory and we deserve a little more respect than that.”

             
“It’s fine, she’s entitled to her feelings. I know it’s hard to believe a guy like me would stick around under such circumstances. I don’t have all the answers and the future is unclear for us all. But I can tell you one thing for sure, I love your daughter. I’m in love with her. And I’m not going anywhere.” I stare at each smiling face in the room, including my mom who looks guilty and ashamed. Good, she should. She was wrong about him.

             
‘I told you mom. Quit doubting him.” I kiss him on the cheek.

             
“I’m sorry Carter. You have been a wonderful addition in my daughter’s life. I’m just being a mother, overprotective since the last time I wasn’t protective enough and look what happened. So I apologize for assuming things.”

             
“It’s no problem. It’s your job to scare off all the guys, to protect your daughter from getting hurt. Now, I will gladly take over. I’ll never let anything happen to her.”

             
“I know you wouldn’t Carter and I appreciate your loving her enough to look after her.”

             
The rest of the night went well. We had dessert-homemade apple pie, courtesy of my mother which was delicious. Along with pumpkin and cherry pie. I was so stuffed; I thought I was going to explode. It was a miracle my stomach held it all down. My Grammy led us all in Thanks before we inhaled our sweets.

             
“Thank you, Lord for this wonderful evening with such wonderful people. I am so thankful for my family, even though the usual crew couldn’t be here this year. I hope they are having a blessed Thanksgiving too. It seems a new addition has been added to the Jordan clan and I ask that you watch over my favorite granddaughter during this stressful time. Also thanks for sending us Carter, he’s a real hottie and totally sweet.” I glanced at Carter who was lost in prayer. I closed my own eyes, smiling. “I like him. Well, thanks for the food and my family and all you are Lord. Amen.” We all noisily dove right into the tasty treats.

             
Once we finished eating, we played card games at the dinner table after we cleared the dishes. It was another favorite tradition during the holidays, playing Phase 10 and Uno. It was my favorite part about the holidays when my family came into town and we all sat around the dining room table for hours, engrossed in conversation and games. I smile, watching the amazing people I’m surrounded by.

             
“How are you doing baby girl?” My father asks me quietly.

             
“I’m really great daddy.” He takes my hand and squeezes, a smile lighting up his eyes.

             
“I’m glad you met Carter. He’s wonderful.” I nod, watching him interacting with Meg and Mason. He’s sitting on the couch, his right leg resting over his left knee with his hands in his lap. He laughs at something Mason says and his hair falls over his eyes. It makes him look mysterious and sexy, the way his eye peeks out from his dark strands. My heart feels happy, while thinking to myself this night couldn’t get any better, the doorbell rings. I rise from my sitting position in the stool at the island. As soon as I open the door, all the blood drains from my face.

Chapter 29

So as I was saying, this night couldn’t get any better and that’s because it just got worse. I’m frozen, confused and most importantly pissed off.

             
“Gracie, you look great.” I cross my arms over my chest, unable to speak but my facial expressions says it all. He’s not welcomed here, and certainly not now.

             
“I know you don’t want to see me but I came by to wish your family a happy Thanksgiving.” I laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of the situation. How could he expect my family to even care what he has to say after what he did?

             
I push him all the way outside so I can shut the door before anyone sees us and shit hits the fan. “What are you doing here Nick?”

             
“I just told you.”

I shake my head, cutting him off mid-sentence. “Cut the bull shit. Why are you here? Are you trying to ruin my night?” He looks apologetic which infuriates me more.

              “How many months are you now?” Is he really asking about the baby as if he cared? I am getting sick of the head games.

             
“Five.” I’m leaning against the brick by the front door, tapping my foot annoyingly.

             
“So have you found out the sex yet?”

             
“I go next month. Why is it your concern? Are you suddenly trying to play daddy now?” I know I am probably being unfair and hurtful, but at this point, I’m too pissed to care. He’s interrupting my family time on my holiday.

             
“I’d like to go with you.” My mouth drops open but nothing comes out. I can’t form words or coherent thoughts without sounding stupid. Why the change of heart now? It doesn’t make sense. Isn’t it too late for that?

             
“Are you fucking kidding me?”

             
“No Gracie I’m not. I’ve thought about it since we’ve been apart. I know I acted like a selfish prick and you didn’t deserve that.” He’s talking like we were just on a break and that he’s finally made a decision to take me back. Or that he wants me to take him back. I don’t know what to say or think. Holy crap, this was not supposed to happen. “I’m so sorry. But I realize life without you is no life at all.” Tears stream down my face and I can’t tell if it’s from frustration or confusion. “Come with me to USC.” My eyes bulge out of their sockets, so many emotions, questions and thoughts race through my head at once. And I can’t pick them out to analyze any of them.

             
“I can’t.” I choke out. I would have been happy to hear him say that months ago, on that same night I told him of my pregnancy. And I would have happily obliged. But now, things are different. My stomach clenches, as I stumble to sit in the chair on my porch. I hang my head in my hands, shaking. What is going on? Why now? What do I do? Dammit, it’s not like I can find the answers in my pregnancy book. He didn’t want me, or this baby. Now that I’ve moved on he expects me to just pick up where we left off? What about Carter? I love him, don’t I? I couldn’t do that to him. Shit, was my mother right about my feelings for him? No, I can’t think like that. I do love him. He was there for me and it isn’t even his baby. Maybe bringing him into this mess was a mistake, but now I’ve fallen for him and I won’t hurt him.

             
“I can’t Nick.” He reaches for my hand and I yank it away.

             
“Don’t touch me.”

             
“Gracie, please. I’m asking for another chance.” I lift my head up and glare at him, icily.

             
“Another chance? Do you know the hell you put me through? No, forget about me. Do you know the hell you put my family through? I was a wreck Nick, a fucking wreck. And they helped me pick up the pieces of myself that you broke, including my heart. I would be a fool to give you another chance.” He glances at the door as if he sensed someone coming.

             
My mind is in a frenzy. All I want to do is go back inside and have an enjoyable night, forgetting he ever showed up and messed with my head. But instead I sit here, trying to make sense of this. I come up short, not sure of my next step.

             
“I met someone.” It comes out in a whisper but Nick still hears me.

             
“Are you serious? You moved on just like that?”

             
“What was I supposed to do? Wait for you to change your mind? Live the rest of my life alone? I didn’t want it to happen. It just did.” He crosses his arms over his chest.

             
“Right it just happened. Kind of like how the pregnancy just happened.” I rise from the chair and shove him hard, he stumbles off the porch.

             
“How dare you. Get the hell out of here.” But he doesn’t budge. Just then the door swings open and Nick and I both turn to look at Meg in the doorway. A confused look flashes across her face as she looks from me to Nick.

             
“What’s going on out here?” She asks cautiously. I glance at Nick.

             
“Nothing, he was just leaving.” His pose is defiant.

             
“Good because I was sent out here to find you.”

             
“I’m not leaving. Not until we talk Gracie.”

             
“We’ve talked enough, I’m done here.” He grabs my arm but I shove him again.

             
“No, wait Gracie.” I march back inside, Meg is on my feet. She whispers to my back, “What the fuck is he doing here?” I whirl around to face her.

             
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask him to come and ruin my night.” The doorbell rings, with a very upset Nick on the other side of the door yelling for me.

             
“What the hell is going on Gracie?” Grammy notices the voice and starts to cringe. Everyone is asking me the same thing and I start to feel dizzy and sick. I shrug with no answer. Grammy throws the door open with more force than necessary, causing it to hit the wall. A growl escapes her throat. “What the hell are you doing here? Haven’t you caused enough problems?”

             
“I need to talk to Gracie.” Suddenly, it’s stifling in the room, the air shifts as Nick catches sight of Carter and he’s no longer focused on me. His gaze appears menacing. I look to Carter, but he’s not looking at us.

             
“Carter?” Nick shifts his gaze back to me, probing. “You’re dating Carter?” He’s pointing and Carter looks stunned. He stands up, a defensive stance.

             
“What the hell are you doing here?” Carter marches to my side, protective.

             
“I should ask you the same thing. Oh wait, I already fucking did. What are you doing here?” I look between the two guys, confused as all get out. Something feels off about this. I catch Meg’s expression and her wide eyes mirror my thoughts.

             
“Yes, I’m dating Carter.” I put my hand up in front of me and take a deep breath to gather my thoughts. “Hold on; tell me what the crap is going on. How do you know him?” He drops his hands to his sides.

             
“He’s my fucking cousin. And I don’t want to see him.” As the words sink in, nausea sets in. They’re cousins? How can that be? Nick never mentioned Carter. I feel lightheaded and my body sways a little. I need air before I pass out.

             
“Wow, this night has gone from crazy to just plain fucked up.” I whip my head around, surprised to hear her drop the F bomb. But yes, she is right about that. The house falls silent. I’m in shock, unsure of what to do next. I look at the floor and count the tiles in the hallway that start from the front door to the living room. Carter takes my clammy hand in his, entwining our fingers together. Nick glances at our joined hands and makes a displeased face.

             
“I’m confused, how are you two cousins Nick? You never told me about him. And why are you so hateful towards him?” Nick glares at me but it’s meant more for his cousin.

             
“It’s a long story. I don’t feel like getting into it right now. But you and I need to talk.”

             
“No, I told you I’m done talking. Now tell me, when was the last time you two spoke to each other?” I ask no one in particular, hoping someone will give me an answer.

             
“I was sixteen and he was fourteen.” Carter responds. That explains a lot. Nick and I started dating about that time.

             
“Well, I’d love to know all the juicy stuff myself but for now, Nick I need to talk to you alone.” Both guys are staring at each other, intense and Nick makes no attempt in moving. “Nick! Now!” Grammy shouts and he looks away from Carter, studying her briefly with an irritable expression. I hold the sides of my head, wishing the pain would dissipate. Grammy takes Nick by the shoulders as she says, “I’ll get to the bottom of this one way or another.”

             
Carter’s eyes follow Nick’s retreating back and I notice his hands clenching into fists. I’ve never seen him this angry. But then again, I haven’t the slightest idea what their story is. “So you’re the reason Gracie was in the hospital or part of the reason anyway. You left her.” Nick’s jaw muscle tenses and he stops, turns to face us and it happens so fast, I had no time to prepare or get in the way before Nick’s fist connected with Carter’s nose. He knocks him down to the ground. My grandmother leaps on him, pulling him off Carter before he throws more punches. “Go to hell Carter.” Grammy has her hands on his chest, keeping him away.

The scene is that of a freaking fighting movie and time te
nds to stand still as my heart is pounding in my chest so hard, I’m afraid it will explode any second.

             
I’m at Carter’s side checking his bloody nose, wiping it with my hands. “Oh my God, are you okay?” I ask frantic. He takes my hand away and nods. I get up and get in Nick’s face, spitting as the words come out of my mouth in fury. “I don’t know what the hell is going on here but right now, I don’t want to see you. I need you to leave.” I need air, I have to get outside. I can almost feel my lungs wanting to collapse in my throat. Mason and my parents help clean Carter’s nose with a washcloth and wipe the blood off the smooth tiled floor.

             
“I’m going for a walk. I need some air.” I see Grammy ushering Nick into the living room. Then I turn around before leaving. “I want you gone before I get back Nick. When I’m ready to talk, we’ll talk. But right now I’m so angry I could slap you. Maybe even kick you in the balls for being disrupting our great holiday and acting like an ass hat. So instead, I’m going to walk away for a bit and cool down.” I look at my family apologetically. “I love you guys. But I just need a breather and to clear my head. I’ll be back.”

             
Meg stops me at the door. “Hey do you want me to come with you?” She asks concerned. I lay my head on her shoulder for a minute, mostly to steady my stumbling body and shake my head. I give her a small smile to assure her I’m okay.

             
“No, I’ll be fine. You stay here with Mason. I’m sure he’s a little freaked out with all this drama that only I could bring to this household. “

             
She snorts, “Are you kidding? I’m sure he’s having a field day with this. You know he likes a little drama. Nothing ever happens at his house, which is why we come here.” She closes her mouth when she catches my annoyed expression, patting my back sympathetically. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be making jokes right now. Are you sure you’ll be okay?” I drop my attitude and attempt a smile to show her I’m not mad at her.

             
“I’ll be fine. When I get back we can talk if you’re still here. But if you want to go home, that’s fine too. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I hug her before slipping out the front door and onto the pavement, with no destination in mind.

             
I keep a slow pace. The nip in the air whips through my thin sweater dress. I’m glad I had the common sense to wear leggings at least. A feeling of guilt seeps into my chest for leaving Carter with a possible broken nose. I should have checked on him before I left. I let out a breath and kick at the ground, sending rocks flying through the grass and into the street.

             
“Nice kick. Did you play soccer?” I spin around and find Carter standing behind me with his hands in his jacket pocket, and a small bandage over his poor nose. He gets a smile out of me, despite what’s going on. One of the best things about Carter is the ability he has to make me smile even when I want to break down and cry. He eyes me wearily, standing close enough I can smell his cologne.

             
“Yeah, I played for a little while. But it’s been years. How’s your nose?”

“It will be fine. I don’t think it’s broken, just sore as hell.” He replies as he absentmindedly rubs it. He moves in closer, our gazes lock as I anticipate his next move. But all he does is wrap his arms around my waist, I lean into his chest. “I’m sorry about your nose. I don’t know what came over him. I don’t know what possessed him to do that.”