Claire Voyant (30 page)

“A thousand apologies. I'm a bit nervous.”

“You're full of shit. Nothing makes you nervous.”

“Why not? This whole situation is dreadfully awkward. Neither of us wants to be here. I vote for let's get it all out in the open and get the hell out.”

“Fine. Then just tell me this. Why did you do it? Why did you just take off in the middle of night and never come back?”

“Because it was what was best for everyone. I was nineteen. I was flat broke. I wanted fame and fortune. What would I have done with a kid?”

“You could have taken me home to your parents. They would have helped you.”

“You watch too much television. They would never have accepted the idea that their precious daughter dirtied the good family name. And like hell I wanted to live in Florida again. I waited my whole life to get out of there. New York was where I belonged.”

“So basically I would have been an intrusion.”

“Big time.”

“Did you feel nothing for me?”

“I felt everything for you. Which is why I did what I did. After Gary was killed, what was I supposed to do? Move in with his parents, go to school, try to raise you on my own? It would have been a disaster. And frankly it wasn't how I wanted to spend my days. I knew I had talent and beauty…I had great hopes for a career.”

“So then if a baby was never an option, why did you chicken out of the abortion?”

“Easy. I hate needles. And I was terrified of bleeding to death on the table…. I didn't suddenly find God, if that's the answer you were looking for.”

“So you're nineteen, pregnant, and the guy's family seem like nice people.”

“A little whiny and high-strung, but basically, yes. I figured they'd get whatever help they needed from your grandparents, and it would all work out fine.”

“And you never looked back.”

“Pretty much.”

“Did you ever think about me? Wonder how I was doing?”

“At the beginning. Then after a while I had my own, new reality. A little bout with a drug dependency…an abortion after I got raped down in the Village…not my proudest decade, for sure.”

“Did you know that my grandmother found your father and stayed in touch all these years? That she was sending him pictures and graduation announcements?”

“No.”

“Did you know that he was putting money away for me in a trust fund?”

“I hadn't a clue.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Not at all. The family is loaded. Why shouldn't you be in on it?…. Is it my turn to play twenty questions yet?”

“Sure,” I sighed. “This isn't especially satisfying.”

“When did you know you wanted to become an actress?”

“Oh. Um. I guess when I was maybe seven or eight. Every year I got picked to be Queen Esther in the Purim play. I took tap and ballet. I wrote little skits that Adam, Lindsey, and I used to put on for the kids on the block.”

“When did you know you were good?”

“When I was maybe seven or eight.”

“And when did you decide to move to L.A. to pursue a film career?”

“When I was maybe seven or eight.”

Penny laughed. “So you might say it was in the genes?”

“I guess it's possible.”

“Well, knowing what I know, I'm not the least bit surprised that you had the calling…given your true bloodline.” Penny stood to look out the window.

“My true bloodline? Just because you were an actress didn't mean I would be. I might have been a…I don't know…whatever my father was going to be if he hadn't died.”

Penny took an extra long inhalation. “Your father was a brilliant, gifted actor.”

“My father was a Vietnam vet who worked at his parents' shoe store on the weekends.”

“Have you ever heard the name Helmut Ehrlich?”

“Absolutely. I studied him in school. I think I still have his book.
The Passion to Act
.”

“He would have found that rather amusing.”

“You knew him?”

“Oh very well. He was a professor of mine at NYU. We got quite friendly. I was his prize pupil for a while. He let me hang out with him and Lee Strasberg, Uta Hagen, Herbert Berghof. Those were the days…the HB Studio, the Actors Studio, Washington Square. Uta was an amazing cook.”

“Oh my God. Those were all the legends. I can't believe you knew them.”

“We had an affair, Helmut and I. Well, Helmut and everyone, actually. L' Affair du jour.”

“What was he like?”

“What was he like? A passionate Hungarian. A married Hungarian…who got me pregnant.”

“That seemed to be a real theme with you…. So, wait. You had two children out of wedlock?”

“No…only one.”

“Only one? I don't understand…. If he got you pregnant and you had that baby…then that would mean…. Oh my God.” I clutched my heart. “OH MY GOD!”

“Exactly.”

“What are you saying?” I screamed. “That Helmut Ehrlich is my father?”

Penny took another puff.

“How can that be? Gary Moss was my father. You and Gary had a baby…that's what happened.”

“I couldn't tell Helmut. He was the goddamn chairman of the department. He would have had me kicked out of the program. I had just met Gary at a bar, he seemed like a sweet guy, we had a few laughs, I slept with him a couple of times….”

I could barely catch my breath. “You were already pregnant?”

“Basically.”

“So, what? You lied to him? You told him you were pregnant and it was his?”

“Basically.”

“Oh my God. Do you realize what this means? Do you even have a clue what you've done?”

“I'm aware…. But as I said, no regrets. It all worked out fine. You were raised by decent people. You had siblings. A nice place to grow up. They did a good job.”

I tried to locate the exact location of her jaw where my father had taken his swing so I could smack her again, but she ducked and I connected with her shoulder instead.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! Jesus Christ!” She bent over in pain. “What is it with you people? You can't have a lousy conversation without getting into the ring?”

“You stupid…fucking…bitch!” I massaged my sore hand. “How dare you come here and drop that ugly bombshell on me? You deceived my family. You let them think I was their responsibility because you were too spineless to do the honorable thing. You made these innocent people carry a heavy burden all these years. And for what? So you could run off and sleep your way to stardom?”

“I just thought you'd like to know the truth…about where your ability comes from.”

“My ability…is that all you think I care about? No wonder your father was so ashamed of you. He knew you were a despicable human being. Worse than the—”

“Oh, please. I'm none of those things. I did the absolute best thing for you, and he knew it. That's why he looked the other way. He knew what kind of life you'd have had with me. Dragging you from place to place to live…. You'd have been at the mercy of whatever stoned friend I could find to watch you. You'd have been in drug rehab at twelve, right alongside Drew Barrymore.

“And I knew I wouldn't get any support from Helmut. A week after he dumped me, he was screwing a TA from Pittsburgh…My parents would have insisted I give you up for adoption, and God knows where you would have ended up then…. So don't sit here in judgment of me. I was fucking nineteen. I made a damn good decision. I knew it would give Gert something else to focus on other than the death of Gary. I knew Lenny would be an amazing father…you had to see him when I'd ask him to feed you. Singing to you, talking to you, he hated to let go. He wouldn't even let Roberta hold you. He'd say, ‘She's fine with me. Go run your errands. I'm okay.' It was such an amazing connection. And I thought, who am I kidding? I can't give you what these people can give you…and I left. That's why you ought to thank me, Claire. I never interfered. Never created a single problem for your parents after I left. And I never looked back because it only would have hurt you more.”

N
O,
I
DIDN'T WANT A BEER.
I
DIDN'T WANT TO RUN OVER TO
S
PA
Villmè for a Java Lulur body wrap. I didn't even want Mary, the massage therapist, to rush over to give me a hot stone rub. What I wanted was for everyone to leave me the hell alone so that, like a rabid animal, I could find a nice hole to crawl into, and die.

Was that so hard to understand? Apparently yes. For as I looked around the now-crowded kitchen, every Fabrikant there was fully aware of what these past three weeks had been like for me. So you'd think they'd get it when I said very nicely, “Please. I just want to take a walk.”

But no. Everyone thought that they knew better. Ben was insistent that I call my parents right away to share this latest development in the continuing saga of
The Greene Family Goes Downhill
.

Shari wanted to take me over to meet her favorite therapist. And, if she was in session, then to her meditation center for a deep cleansing, which would purify me by getting rid of the toxins in my system (loosely translated: a seaweed enema…doesn't that sound divine?).

Delia thought she knew the perfect cure for my blues: new shoes. (“The spring line of Christian Louboutin sandals are so, so hot!”)

Only Drew, very quiet Drew, understood my need for solitude. He offered to take me to Abe's spot at the ocean, and to let me sit in the Caddy as long as I wanted. It was the single sweetest gesture any human being ever offered me.

“Stop babying her already.” Penny lit another smoke. “I really don't understand what the big fuss is about. So she got some shocking news. It's not like it's cancer or anything.”

“Shut up, Penny,” Ben said. “She's been through enough, for Christ's sake. Why the hell did you have to open up this can of worms anyway?”

“I have my reasons.”

“Oh Good Lord.” Shari sat with tea bags on her eyelids. “What did you do now?”

Suddenly the room grew still. At any moment, I felt like Ricky Ricardo was going to enter stage right and yell, “Lucy, you have some 'splaining to do.”

“Relax. It's nothing terrible,” Penny said. “In fact, it's great news. I want to talk to Claire about a possible film deal. Well, at this point we're only talking about optioning the story, but I think this is right up Sherry Lansing's alley.”

“Oh awesome. A new movie.” Delia's eyes lit up. “Can I be in this one? You promised.”

“Nothing is firmed. It's just the talking stages. First we'd have to hire the screenwriter to draft the screenplay. My agent was just telling me about this kid he signed from New York who—”

“I'm sorry,” I interrupted. “Have I missed something here? What does any of this have to do with me?”

“Well, that's just the thing, Claire. I think your story is truly amazing. It's got everything: Comedy, drama, suspense…”

“What story?”

“Your story. The whole left-at-birth thing…. Growing up with people you assumed were your parents…sitting next to a man who dies in flight, and it's the grandfather you never knew…”

“Oh my God.” I tried to take another swing.

“Claire. Stop.” Drew held me down. “She wouldn't do anything that stupid.”

“What's stupid about it? Naturally, I've been keeping it very low-key. But so far there's quite a bit of interest. In fact, Tom and Rita both thought it was a fabulous premise.”

“Who're Tom and Rita?” Shari asked from under her tea bags.

“I know.” Delia raised her hand. “Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Right, Aunt Penny?”

“My life is not a premise,” I gritted. “And I'm telling you right now, the story is not for sale.”

“Well, technically, dear, it's not only your story. It's my story too.”

“I'm going to kill her.” I forced Drew to let go. “Listen to me. And listen good, before I take every dollar I inherited today and use it to hire the world's best lawyers to sue your arrogant, inconsiderate ass.

“You will not option my story, or any part of it. You will not mention this to any member of my family. And you will never, ever discuss the details of my life with any producer, director, screenwriter, cameraman, grip, or gofer. It is off-limits! Do you hear me? Off-limits!”

“I have to be honest, Claire. This was not quite the reaction I expected.” Penny lit another smoke. “I thought you'd be thrilled at the prospect of starring in a film…. And I'm sure I could get Rob Reiner to direct. Maybe he'll turn it into
When Claire Met Penny
. Can you imagine how great it will be? Your first time out of the box, and you're a big star? Isn't that what you've always dreamed of?”

“I think what Claire is trying to say is that it's all happening a little too soon,” Drew said. “You need to give her some time.”

“Fine. But we can't sit on this for too long. Concepts get ripped off like that.” She snapped her fingers.

“I don't think any of you understand.” I closed my eyes. “There is nothing to jump on because there will be no deal. No screenplay. No meetings with the studios. No discussions with Rob Reiner…. Can't you see that I'm struggling here? That I'm in pain?”

“Which is why I'm trying to help you work through it. And frankly, what better way than to see your story come to life on the big screen? Look what it did for Erin Brockovich.”

“Oh my God. This is unreal. Somebody please stop her from saying another word….”

I ran to Drew's room, called a cab, then threw myself on his bed.
How had a day that started out a dream come true so quickly turn into such a nightmare?

I was so sure after I'd left the lawyer's office that the worst was over. That I would finally be able to catch my breath. Weigh my options. Take baby steps into my new, financially secure life. Honestly, after all that I had been through, was I not entitled to a little reprieve before I got bombarded? And by own mother, no less.

What was wrong with this woman anyway? Did she think I'd jump at the chance to share my humiliating tale with millions of moviegoers? So that, what—they could sit there eating their nachos, laughing at what a moron I was because I never figured out I was adopted?

And what about my parents? Did they deserve to be blindsided again by Penny, the scheming ingrate? What did she think, that I'd casually tell them over dinner, oh by the way, I found out Gary wasn't my real father? You were duped. You didn't have to raise me. You just got caught holding the bag…. And here's the real kicker. For more details, drive to your nearest multiplex.

Well! Penny Nichol may have thought she had an exclusive on my story, but over my dead body was she going to pursue this. Not at the expense of having my family learn the awful truth about the baby they raised in order to honor the legacy of their son and brother.

Perhaps the only positive from this disaster was that for the first time it made me realize the precarious position they'd been in when I was left in their laps. As decent human beings, they did the only thing they could. They took me in, accepted me, raised me, and protected me.

And in a show of love, they chose to keep the truth at bay. Why hamper my childhood with thoughts of what could have been if the circumstances were different? What purpose would it have served if I knew that my mother was out there leading a great life unencumbered by me?

I finally understood.
The Lenny and Roberta Show
did right by me. And as a token of my love and respect, I would do the same for them.
They would be spared the shock until the day they died. I owed them nothing less.

“Hey.” Drew stuck his head in. “Mind if I come in?”

“It's your room,” I sighed. “I'm about to leave anyway. It's all yours.”

“You're leaving?” He came in. “Why? Because of what Penny just said?”

“It's everything…. Let's just say it's time for me to go home.”

“No, I understand. Definitely. But not today. We never got a chance to talk.”

“Well, don't blame that on me. I'm not the one who took off.”

“You're right, and I'm sorry. It was stupid and I want to make it up to you. And what about your grandmother…and my parents…Delia? You can't leave without saying good-bye.”

“I called the cab already. They'll be here any minute.”

“You called a cab? I would have taken you.”

“Aren't you still pissed at me?”

“Furious. You stole my room, you wrecked my car, and now you're breaking my heart.”

“I'm breaking your heart? How?”

“Because there's so much I want to say to you, and you're not giving me the chance.”

“I'm really confused. After last night, I wasn't sure we'd ever talk again.”

“I'm a guy. Just assume that nine times out of ten I'm going to make things worse. But you, you're amazing. You see a situation, and you get it right away. You don't have to think about it. You just know where you stand.”

“That's not true…. Especially these past few weeks. I've been nothing but dazed and confused.”

“Well, you didn't act that way downstairs with that whole movie deal. I couldn't believe it. You didn't even bat an eye. You turned her down flat, and it's everything you ever wanted.”

“Because there was nothing to think about. It was the most despi
cable, insensitive idea I've ever heard. You abandon your baby, leave her with people who think she's family because you lie about who the father is, and then come back thirty years later and say, hey, wouldn't this make a great film?”

“I know. It's awful. But I love the way you just figure these things out so fast and know what's right. What's important. You're my hero, Claire, I swear. You're so brave and smart.”

“Does that mean you want to marry me?”

“No…. I mean yes…. Maybe one day, sure.” He laughed. “But generally I like to know my fiancées for more than a few weeks.”

“You are going to marry me. I had a dream about it, remember?”

“I do. When you were in the hospital.”

“You said, I do.” I clapped. “You said, I do.”

“You are the pushiest girl I ever met.”

“Yes, but you just told me that you like that I always know what I want.”

“I know. I'm just going to have to learn to deal with it. But only if you'll stay one more night. Then I promise I'll get up at the crack of dawn to take you to the airport. In fact, I'll pay for your ticket…. No wait. I'll even buy two tickets, and I'll go home with you.”

“You'd go with me to Plainview?”

“Are you kidding? I hear Plainview is beautiful this time of year. The cars. The houses. All those 7-Elevens on every corner.”

What could I tell you? The boy made me laugh.

“I'm begging you. Don't leave yet.”

“But I don't belong here anymore. I don't have a place.”

“Right here.” Drew pointed to his heart. “This is your place. This is where you belong.”

I sighed. “What about the cab?”

“Hey, you're a rich woman now. You can spring for a twenty to send him away.”

What could I say? I was relieved that Drew wasn't holding a grudge. But what made me think that this relationship would ever be anything other than crazy and chaotic? I might lose my mind and never find it again. And yet…

“Tell you what,” I said. “Let me go home, spend some time with my family. You were the one who said it was a deal-breaker if I couldn't work things out with them. And then maybe in a few weeks we'll make plans to meet somewhere in the middle, and—”

“No.”

“No?”

Drew grabbed me as if he were rescuing me from a burning building, then kissed me with the fervor of a hero until I collapsed in his arms. I had never felt this much hunger, passion, and fear all rolled into a single moment of intimacy. A kiss that might not have ended if not for the sound of a cabby honking his horn.

“Don't go anywhere.” His hands rested on my shoulders. “I'll lend you the twenty…Be right back.”

And with the speed of Hermes, I heard him fly down the stairs and out the front door.

I had to laugh. Whatever anger he'd felt last night had magically dissipated. And good thing. Because I may have called a cab, but I'd only planned to take it over to Grams'. Damn right I wasn't flying home before I had a chance to say good-bye.

 

Oh, so fine. There wasn't much arm-twisting to get me to stay. After a kiss like that, and the anticipation of the lovemaking to come if I could just refrain from any more stupid remarks, I was glad that I did. It gave me time to thank Ben, Shari, and Delia properly for all their hospitality and TLC.

And it gave me a chance to run over to Grams' place to wish her good luck, although she could only spare me a few minutes. Seems that she didn't want to be late for Bridge Night, and a certain fellow named Norman Singer from down the hall who had his eye on her.

Uch. Trust me, you don't want details of this budding courtship. After listening to her mention something about a trick or two she learned from Lillian the Lover, I got queasy and said. “TMI, Grams. I don't even want to think about it.”

Staying the night also gave me a chance to have a special evening out with Drew. We'd go for a nice quiet dinner, and then he'd prom
ised his friend Peter Loftin that we'd stop by a party he was having at his mansion, Casa Casuarina.

“Why does that sound familiar?” I asked.

“Because a few years back it was in all the papers. It was Gianni Versace's house. I thought you knew it was a few doors down from By the C.”

I didn't know that, but as I had found out these past few weeks, there was a lot I didn't know. At least we would be getting a chance to talk first, because Drew was smart enough to find a beautiful, quiet restaurant on the Intercoastal where no one knew him.