Clark, Rachel - Alicia's Awakening (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (9 page)

But he just holds me, gently caressing my skin, his thick fingers finally pushing into my pussy, giving me something else to think about, something else to focus on. Soon my arousal overwhelms all other thoughts, my need for orgasm once again rising. He adds another finger, still finger-fucking me slowly, almost absently, but I can feel his hard cock pressed against my hip so I know he’s aroused with me, by me.

I sigh, feeling a warm rush of contentment that comes just from sharing this quiet moment with him.

“Are you okay, little sub?” he asks in a whisper as he finally sits me up on his lap and pushes the hair from my eyes.

“Yes, I think so, Sir,” I say in a soft voice. Somehow the moment feels too intimate to use normal voices.

“Good girl,” he says as he cuddles me close.

* * * *

Doug held his trainee sub tight and silently called himself every nasty name under the sun. It was natural for Alicia to associate her orgasm with getting permission from her Dom first. It was why submissives were actually trained.

But he knew that women who lived a vanilla life sometimes had a difficult time separating the Dom-sub relationship from other meaningful relationships in their history. Alicia wasn’t thinking of him as her Dom. She was seeing him as Doug first and her Dom second.

It was very likely that this latest panic attack had come from wondering what would happen if he was no longer around. Their contract was for only two weeks. She already associated her orgasms with his permission. But when her training was finished, there would be other Doms. Like he’d done with all the others, he’d train her, teach her everything she needed to know, and then introduce her to the Doms at the club. Most of the subs he’d trained had gone on to find permanent loving Dom-sub relationships.

He pulled his sub closer, his muscles trembling just a tiny bit, his heartbeat no longer quite as calm as he thought about losing her.
Damn
.

Alicia already had a Dom waiting for her. She just didn’t know it yet.

But it would be a very good idea for
him
to remember.

Chapter Ten

I feel safe and content lying here in my Dom’s arms. Even the panic that drilled through me a few minutes ago is just a vague memory. I’m still surprised by my unexpected reaction to what was probably just a random thought, but I can honestly say that I’m no longer embarrassed. That was the closest I’ve come to having a full-blown panic attack since I met Doug, and yet he didn’t turn away. He’s still holding me, grounding me, keeping me safe as I find my equilibrium. I’m actually feeling, for the first time since signing our contract, that I made the right decision to come here. Whatever else happens, I’m already coping better just knowing someone shares my secret.

And I didn’t need harsh pain this time to stop the panic.

Doug lifts out of the chair and places me back in my own. He smiles and touches his fingertips to my face before pressing an affectionate kiss to my forehead. “I’ll be back in a moment,” he says gruffly.

I nod and reach for my water glass. Hell, with all the crying I’ve done since stepping in the door, I’m liable to dehydrate. Doug comes back into the room with a facecloth and clean towel and nods in approval as I drink down the contents of the glass. I reach out my arms to take the towels from him, but he shakes his head, drags his chair closer to mine, and then sits down. I close my eyes as he gently moves the cool washcloth over my face. My eyes feel so raw and itchy I don’t even want to imagine what I must look like.

Eventually he pats my skin dry.

“Better?” he asks with a soft smile.

I nod. “Thank you, Sir.”

“You’re very welcome, sub.”

I notice that he changed his shirt while he was out of the room, and can only imagine how much of a mess I made. I am
so
not a pretty crier.

He searches my face and for a moment I feel his uncertainty. He’s always so confident, seemingly larger than life, and I forget sometimes that he’s still just a man—no superpowers at all.

“Are you okay?” I ask, wanting to help him.

He seems surprised by my question but gives me a quick smile.

“I’m fine,” he says, “but sometimes even I forget I don’t have all the answers.” He shakes his head as if he can’t quite believe he said that out loud. I want to hug him, assure him he’s not alone. “You look tired.” It’s obvious that he’s changing the subject and I feel a little cheated. I know the premise of a Dom-sub relationship, but there’s no reason why I can’t offer to help a fellow human being. He looks away from me, almost like he doesn’t want me to see what he’s thinking. “We should both get an early night.”

I shake my head quickly, but he grabs my chin and traces the dark circles under my eyes with his finger.

“I didn’t sleep very well last night,” I say defensively, “but only because I was excited.” I manage to add the word “Sir” when he raises his eyebrow again. Damn, I need to remember that part better. We’ve spent the past two weeks slipping into and out of the Dom-sub protocols, but I have agreed to follow them twenty-four-seven while our contract is in force. “Sir, I promise to try harder. Lachlan hasn’t even called yet. Can we please just sit and watch television together for a while?”

He laughs softly, and I’m uncertain what it is that he finds funny, but then he nods his agreement, stands up, and holds his hand out for me to take. I slip my hand into his and sigh softly as he leads me to the living area. I’m not surprised when he indicates that I should sit on the floor at his feet—it was one of the things we discussed when we negotiated our contract—but I am grateful for the cushion he gives me to sit on. It might be summer, but sitting bare-assed on cold tiles just doesn’t appeal.

Doug settles into his seat and urges me to rest my head against his thigh. I get comfortable between his knees and am actually surprised by how right it feels. He flicks through the stations until he finds something that catches his interest. I’m not fussed at what we watch, but since I’m not given the choice anyway, I simply relax into the feel of him surrounding me and close my eyes, quite content.

“Wake up, little sub,” a voice says as a hand sweeps over my face lovingly. “Alicia, your phone’s ringing.”

A part of me doesn’t care. I’m sleepy and content and don’t want reality to intrude, but then I realize the most likely identity of my caller and my eyes fly open as I search for the source of the ringing. Doug hands me my cell phone and then leaves the room.

“Hello,” I finally manage in a sleep-roughened voice as I thumb the “answer” button.

“Alicia?” Lachlan asks, sounding mad. “Are you all right?”

I’m a little surprised by his vehemence, but it does have the effect of bringing me fully awake.

“Of course I’m all right. I’m just tired.”

“Tired from what?” he asks suspiciously. He knows that I’ve been dating Doug, has even encouraged me to keep seeing the guy, so he probably has a fairly good idea of where I am now and what I’ve been up to. I glance down at my naked, recently waxed lower body and amend that thought to he probably
thinks
he knows what I’ve been up to. I’ve left out a whole lot of details if the truth be told, but I know Lachlan has a protective streak a mile wide. If he thought Doug was hurting me—even in a good way—I suspect Lachlan would step in to protect me.

As usual we discuss how our days went, but this time I’m careful to edit out the part about vibrating eggs and near-orgasmic waxings. A part of me really wants to discuss it with my best friend and maybe work through some of the more confusing emotions with him, but I’m terrified of how he might react. I don’t want to lose him. We might never be more than best friends but I refuse to risk losing the only person I’ve ever felt an emotional connection to. I glance up as Doug comes back into the room and try not to think of him in the same way. Our contract is for two weeks. What’s supposed to happen after that is still a little frightening.

I can’t imagine meeting another Dom like Doug.

He moves back onto the sofa, his legs sort of capturing me as I settle back against him. But this time instead of ignoring me, he leans forward and caresses my breasts gently. I can feel my nipples pulling into tight peaks as I desperately try to stay focused on the thread of my conversation with Lachlan.

“When are you coming home?” I ask into the phone, hoping he doesn’t hear the near stutter in my voice.

“Two more weeks,” he says, sounding tired.

The same time as my contract finishes with Doug. I nod, grateful that my best friend will be in town when I’ll probably need him the most. “Good,” I say in a soft whisper.

I’m fairly certain my attraction to Doug—not just the Dom part of him, but the whole man—is stronger than Doug was expecting. If he walks away like the contract says he will, I’m not sure how I’ll cope. I doubt I’ll be able to explain to Lachlan exactly what went on, but at least I’ll have my best friend close when my world starts to crumble.

“I’m sorry it’s taking so long,” Lachlan says unexpectedly. I’m a little ashamed at making him feel guilty for doing his job. If I wasn’t such a screwed-up person, I’d be supporting him the same way he supports me.

“That’s okay, Lach,” I say, trying to sound bright and cheerful. “You love what you do.” I’ve never understood half of what he does, but his network design skills are in high demand all over the world. He has a lot of staff working for him, but as the CEO and creator of the company, he’s often called on to sort out problems. This trip was one he’d been putting off for a long time, but I understand its necessity.

“I’ll be home soon,” he says anyway.

I open my mouth to say something but Doug chooses that moment to lean over and push my legs open wide. I feel surrounded by him, almost trapped inside of the cage he makes with his body, but instead of fear I feel nothing but protected. It does make it difficult to think, though, and I can’t for the life of me remember what I was going to say. Of course, when he reaches over and places a vibrator against my pussy lips I’m pretty sure I’m not thinking at all.

“Are you okay?” Lachlan asks, sounding concerned once more.

“I…um…sure,” I say as Doug starts to move the vibrator up and down my pussy lips. Thank heavens he hasn’t turned the damn thing on yet. “Just…ah…tired.” And when I finally realize Lachlan most likely thinks I’m suffering from a head injury, he laughs softly, maybe even a little sadly.

“Behave yourself, brat,” he says affectionately and then hangs up.

“Finished?” Doug asks as I stare at the phone in my hand. Lachlan hasn’t used that nickname for me in years, but lately it seems to be the only one he uses. Rather ironic since, in the world of BDSM, bratty subs get punished.

I nod absently in answer to Doug’s question, still a little surprised by the coincidence, but my thoughts are quickly derailed when Doug takes my phone and thrusts the vibrator into my pussy. I instinctively close my legs. His growled “open” has me jolting and trying to do what he demands. My thighs shake as I plant my feet on the ground and let my knees fall apart. He’s leaning so far over me that I’ve had to drop my head forward and I am very literally watching the vibrator slide in and out of my pussy.

The position is damned uncomfortable, but for some reason that just turns me on even more. I’m actually trying to wriggle my hips to take the toy deeper. But my Dom apparently has other ideas. He sits back, taking the vibrator with him, his hand caressing my collarbone and throat possessively before he tilts my head back so that I’m looking up at him. I hear the vibrator turn on, but it’s not until he starts to move it slowly over my nipples that I realize it’s very generously coated with the juices from my pussy. I’m panting hard as he paints my breasts with the slippery lubricant, and nearly scream in shock when Doug leans over and bites my chin gently.

“Playtime, little sub,” he says with a slight pinch to my nipple.

He helps me to my feet, but I’m already wobbly so he bends and lifts me over his shoulder like a sack of grain. I moan and wriggle as he presses the vibrator against my pussy lips as he walks. He steps into the playroom, and sets me on my feet in front of the St. Andrew’s cross. At first I think he means to attach me to it facing him, but just before he clips the first cuff into place he spins me around to face the wood. He fastens my feet first, widening my stance until he can reach the iron circle at the end of a thick chain. Then he stretches my arms out and slightly above me, fastening them to chains before adjusting them to pull my arms just a little higher.