Class Trip (9 page)

This room was so
ugly. Brown tiles halfway up the wall, even in the shower. The walls
were painted brown and the paint was chipped off in several places.
Everything was old and the towel was ripped here and there. This
wasn't the luxurious home of a slave trader. That meant that he was a
middleman. Was that why everyone had been so mad at him yesterday?
They had wanted him to sell me and a buyer was even interested.

This meant that
everyone here hated me. And he just wanted to hurt me. I was all
alone.

“Come here,
angel.”

I went to him
feeling that a big part of me had just died. I had decided to just
obey him. If fighting made things worse than I would never fight him.

He dried me off
and kissed me every now and then. “Are you hungry?”

I shook my head.

“Are you sure?
You didn't have supper last night. You must be hungry.” He was
smiling down at me. It was almost like he was teasing me.

“This is all
too much for me,” I admitted.

“You are doing
really well. You are being so good for me. I will reward you for that
one day. You'll see. It's time to get dressed and get breakfast.”
He hung up the towel and I figured that the others would all be
sharing the same one. That thought made my stomach churn. I wanted to
go home to my mother so badly.

He took hold of
my hand and walked me back to his bedroom. If anyone had been in the
living room then they would have seen me naked.

What was my life
going to be like now?

He held the door
open for me and walked in. I saw my blood on the bed. It wasn't as
much as I thought it would be, but it was enough to have me off and
running back to the bathroom. I closed the door with my foot hoping
that he wouldn't come in.

He didn't come in
right away. I was still kneeling next to the toilet when he did. I
kept my eyes on the water in the toilet; the part where the water was
all brown. I was used to better places than this. I was used to
things being perfect and clean.

Things weren't
here. Everything was so dirty. Dirt had gathered in the corners of
the bathroom from things not being cleaned right. My grandmother had
raised me better than that. If I had cleaned this bathroom this way
she would have made me do it again and again until it was perfect.
She had always said the perfect cleanness was a sign that a person
valued the things that they had.

He had showered
me and cleaned me. Did that mean that I was of value to him?

He picked up my
toiletry bag and fished out my toothbrush. “It's gone. I got rid of
it. That will never happen again.”

What would never
happen again, I asked myself. He would never hurt me again or I would
never bleed again. Or he could even mean that I would never have to
see the evidence about what he had done too me.

“Up you go,
slowly now.”

I grabbed onto
the wall as he pulled me to my feet. I was still naked and so was he.
I was freaking out about that. This wasn't me anymore. I was dead and
just a shell was left in his place.

I took the
toothbrush and brushed slowly and carefully. When I was finished he
brought me back to his room and laid me down on the bed.

“Rest a little,
angel.” I could hear him opening the wardrobe and getting dressed.
He went off to the bathroom for a bit too and then he was back and
telling me it was time to get up.

I sat up, modesty
had returned. I didn't want the blankets to miss any spot of me.

“Please don't
start. I really don't want to punish you on our honeymoon.” His
shoulders dropped as he looked at me.

I wasn't sure if
that was the right word. “Honeymoon?”

“Yes, you are
my wife now.” His head tilted like he was trying to size me up to
see how dangerous I was.

“Church?” I
asked. My German just wasn't good enough for a conversation like
this.

“Old fashion
wedding. We are man and wife now. You're mine.” He looked ready for
a fight.

I was too meek
for that. I could only stand up for others rights.

I always had it
in the back of my head that I deserved what I got. I must have done
or thought something so terrible at one time in my life that this was
my due.

Karma was doing
this to me, but why?

I nodded at him
that I understood.

He looked really
pleased and picked out another dress for me to wear today. I stayed
in bed, as I dressed so he could see as little as possible of me. He
sat down next to me and put on his shoes.

I remembered
thinking that he was good looking the first time I saw him. And he
wasn't as old as the man who had waved to me. The girl he did buy
would probably be found starved in the room that he was locking her
in weeks after he had died.

This house was
big and I got to move around a bit. Maybe I could even runaway.

We went down to
breakfast as always he held my hand. The others were gathered at the
table talking to one another. They stopped as we approached them.

They all looked
at me. Tata patted my hand and sat me down in a chair. He sat down
next to me and on my other side was the doctor. Did they know what
had happened to me? I hung my head a little and folded my hands in my
lap again.

Tata looked down
at me. “It's okay, this is my family. They won't hurt you. I'll
tell them very plainly. I am the only man you will ever know. Is it
better now?”

I nodded a
little.

He took my plate.
“Sandra?”

I looked up at
the eggs that he was pointing to. “Are they spicy?” I asked in
English because I didn't know the German word for spicy.

He raised an
eyebrow at me. “You are a very picky eater.” He spoke in German.

I shrugged my
shoulders and nodded. “Well I have been drugged before.”

A couple of
people laughed. Thankfully he was one of them. Offending him in front
of the others probably wasn't a good idea.

“The eggs
aren't spicy.” He put some on my plate. “Fruit salad?”

I nodded.

“And I know you
like bread.” He was speaking German with me. I had a feeling that
he didn't want me to speak English.

He set my plate
down in front of me. “Thank you, Tata.”

Everyone looked
up and then they all started talking at once. Some looked amused but
most looked very mad.

He laid his arm
on the back of my chair. I felt very claimed. Didn't the others know
that he was planning on keeping me? They were probably mad that I
knew his real name.

He barked at them
like he had with us at school and everyone quieted down. He looked
them all in the eye. “Start eating, Sandra,” he said while he was
still looking at the others.

I picked up my
fork and took a bite.

The others
started talking to him again and he grinned at them and answered. I
was curious what they were saying.

He took food and
starting talking about last night, I guessed. The others made pleased
noises. I was guessing that he was there leader. He just had an aura
of authority.

The doors opened
and ten girls came in. I stared at them and they were staring at me
too. All three of my roommates were there.

“Sandra, you
may not. Sit up straight like a good girl.”

“But Tata,
they're my roommates and friends.”

“My little girl
isn't friends with their kind.”

“What are
they?” I was so shocked that I had forgotten who I was talking to.

He leaned in
again. “None of them were virgins.”

“But neither am
I now.” I was crying again.

He reached out
for my head and moved it to his shoulder. “That's different. We're
married.”

The others
started saying things again and he barked at them. Because my head
was on his chest I felt the vibrations as he yelled. They said
nothing more after he spoke. I wondered what the others thought about
the way he was holding me.

“Eat, angel, I
want to go back to bed.” He let go of my head.

I looked at him
and shook my head no. The others laughed again. He joined them. “The
first time hurts, I know but we have to continue until it doesn't. It
will be better, I promise. Eat up.”

I took a bite of
food, chewing it very slowly. That had them rolling. The woman, the
one in charge of the other women, talked to him seriously and he
nodded at her. She was the only one he was respectful too.

He finished
eating quickly but he leaned back relaxed while I finished eating.
They were all talking with each other. I peeked over at the other
girls. A woman was standing by them with a cane. They were all being
good.

“Are you trying
to test me?” He was whispering in my ear again.

“I thought all
the girls got new owners last night. Didn't anyone want them?” I
couldn't understand it. They were really pretty girls. The one named
Sarah had beautiful long red hair and perfect white skin. Her eyes
were a deep dark blue. She wasn't like me I had boring brown hair and
matching brown eyes. I thought she was the prettiest girl at school.

“No, when a man
is paying that much money he wants a virgin. Now you weren't even up
for sale and you had people fighting over you because you were always
good. They will be sold for much lower prices and probably end up as
sex slaves or have to work as prostitutes. They won't be loved and
cherished like you are.” He was hugging and kissing my neck.

As he spoke the
other girls were all watching with their mouths wide open.

“Poor Sandra,”
I heard one say.

I turned to look
at him again.

“They don't
understand what our relationship is. Don't worry about them. Soon
they will be gone and you will never see them again.” He picked up
one of my braids and looked at it. “I'll get Magdalena to do your
hair pretty again but first later. I want to go back to bed now.
Let's go.” He stood and held his hand out to me.

I looked over at
the other girls again. I felt I needed help but they were looking at
me very meanly. They were whispering, I could hear a bit of what they
were saying. Hannah was telling the others that I had been in on it
all along.

My jaw dropped in
shock and then into a frown. Tata stopped pulling and looked at me.
“What? What did they say?”

I hung my head
and he let go of my hand. He walked over to their table and looked at
everyone. Hannah started to cry.

“What did
Hannah say?” He looked at Melina.

At first she was
tongue-tied. Then she spilt the beans.

He looked over at
me and then back to Hannah. He said something to the woman watching
them. The woman nodded and grinned at the girls. “I met her the
same day I met you, Hannah. She just made a better impression on me.
You have a way of making a very bad impression on people. With all
the marks that you will have it will be hard to find someone who
wants you.”

Tata came back
over to me. He took my hand and pulled me to his room again. He
closed the door and stood in front of it so he was blocking the exit.

He let go of me.
His hands went right to his buttons. “No games this time. You know
what is going to happen now. Get undressed.”

Again my jaw
dropped.

“Sandra, I
already told you that I don't want to punish you if I don't have to
but I will. I clearly told you what to do. I don't repeat myself.”

I wanted to cry
again but I didn't want to get punished.

I removed my
clothes as he watched me.

I covered myself
up with my hands.

He was undressed
in the meantime too. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me.

“Wrap your arms
around me, Sandra.”

My hands shook a
little but I did as he said. The hug felt very different this way. My
breasts were pressing against his chest. That felt somehow – good.
He kissed my face slowly all over. I got a funny feeling in my
stomach. I wasn't sure if I was going to be sick again or if it was
the butterflies that people sometimes talk about.

I could feel him
getting harder. His penis was pushing against my stomach.

“With you it is
so different.” He picked me up and carried me to the bed.

There was no way
that I was going to get out of this.
Just let it happen,
I
told myself. He hadn't been violent about it last time. Maybe it
would really stop hurting soon.

He was leisurely
running his hands all over me, as he sat on the bed next to me. He
didn't have any hair on him either. I wondered about that. I thought
about reaching out and touching him but I didn't dare. I wouldn't do
anything that could be considered brazen.

He smiled at me
like a tiger would at something that he considered easy pray. He
moved so he was between my legs again. Tata took hold of his penis
and ran it up and down between my legs.

He let his penis
rub me and it was getting hard to pretend that this wasn't happening.
I tried to think about something else but I couldn't anymore and my
legs started to relax a little.

He then slowly
pushed into me. It hurt. I tried to push him away but I couldn't and
his hips were moving, pushing his thing in and pulling it out a
little. I was crying again and he was saying,
shh,
as always.

He went on and on
and when I couldn't take it anymore I started to beg and plead.
“Please Tata, please stop,” I sniffled.

He kissed me and
continued. I felt like such a nobody. I didn't feel loved liked he
had said that I was. And certainly not cherished.

“Tata please,”
I moved my head so I was looking at him this time.

He kissed me on
my mouth biting into my lips gently but still scaring me. He was
thrusting into me harder and harder. I could hardly breathe and then
he threw his head back a little again. Did that mean that it was
over? He was lying down on me again. He let go of my hands and I
pulled them close to my body. I was breathing heavily too and feeling
too warm. He moved away. I was picturing blood. I rolled up in a
little ball.