The Jackson Hole airport was small and not busy at this time of year with the ski resort closed for the season. Getting through security wouldn’t be a challenge, and he delayed as long as possible for the extra time with Tessa. Jordan and Chloe waited by the doors, giving them privacy. Cameron sat near the security line, his arm tightly around Tessa, dreading the moment that he had to leave. He never experienced the emotions he’d been going through the last few days with Tessa.
“My sweet Tess, it’s almost time.” He ran his hand down her arm. He wanted to pull her closer to him, but he didn’t want to hold her too tight.
“I know.” Tears glistened in her eyes, and she squeezed him tighter.
“I’ll be back…” He almost told her he promised that he’d come back to her, but at the last second, he caught himself. He was a man of his word, and he would never let anyone down, especially not his Tess. “Before you know it I’ll be back, and we can give our baby everything they ever wanted. If you’ll let me I want to be the father to your child…I want to be more than just a name on a piece of paper to both of you.” His free hand went to her stomach. He wouldn’t have even known she showed at all if he hadn’t changed her clothes the night after the hospital. A small bump formed in the concave of her abdomen, just the faintest swelling and her hips seemed fuller and her breasts lusher.
“You’ll always be more to me…to us…then just a name. Our child couldn’t be luckier than to have you as their father.” The tears rolled down her cheeks.
The intercom system overhead crackled to life. “We will begin boarding, flight 718 to…”
He had already said his goodbyes to Jordan and Chloe leaving the hardest one—Tessa’s for last. He rose taking her with him. “Tessa, may the days go quickly until we can be together again. Take care of yourself and our child. Do as the doctor orders, and let Chloe and Jordan help you. You’re not superwoman, take it easy for the sake of him.”
“Or her…” She let out a gentle tear-cloaked laugh.
He tilted her head back so he could look into her eyes. “Either way I’ll love our baby as if he or she is my own. You know that don’t you?”
She nodded a split second before his lips crushed hers. The damn loudspeaker called his flight number again, and he knew he couldn’t put off the inevitable any longer. He broke the kiss, his mouth hovered over her lips for another second before he kissed her a final time. “I’ll be back, I promise.”
He promised and he would deliver. When he got back, he would make his claim crystal clear. He should have done it now that they were married, but he let the guilt of his father’s death rule his life. They were different people and he didn’t have to live his father’s mistakes. He’d always made it back home to her and didn’t plan to stop now. He wouldn’t leave his Tess and their child alone.
“I know you will.” She cupped his cheek, gaze locked on him. “Stay safe.”
He bent over, grabbed his small carry on, and slipped it over his shoulder before pulling her back into his arms. “I’ll see you soon.” It wouldn’t be the last time he held her close to him. Still reluctant, but determined he walked through security to catch his plane.
* * *
Tessa wasn’t sure how long after he left that she sat there, tears freely falling down her face. She was lost in her heartache. He just left and already she missed his touch. She had no sense of time, or the people moving around her, until Chloe came to her, laying her hand gently on her shoulder.
“Tessa, we should get you home.” Chloe squeezed her shoulder when she didn’t look up or move.
Jordan knelt down to her, taking her hand in his. “Cameron’s the best Marine I know. He’s a damn good Gunny, he’ll be okay.”
She smiled at Jordan, and then up at Chloe. They barely knew her yet they opened up their home and hearts to her because of Cameron. She had nothing but gratitude for them, without them she wasn’t sure how she’d make it through the pregnancy if this bed rest continued more than a week.
Blinking to clear the fog of his departure, she nodded. “I’m sorry. Yes let’s go.” She started to rise from the bench, but Jordan didn’t move from his kneeling position in front of her. Unless she was prepared to knock him over, she’d have to wait until he got out of the way.
“Just wait here with Chloe for a few minutes. I’ll go get the SUV, and come around to the main doors to pick you ladies up.” He squeezed her hand and rose.
“Jordan’s right. You need to stay strong for your child and for Cameron.” Chloe came around to sit with her. “You don’t want him to worry that you’re not taking care of yourself.”
“I know. It’s not my first deployment—well my first one as his wife—but you know what I mean. My emotions are haywire lately, I guess its pregnancy hormones.” She rose from the chair, she swayed on her feet, the world tilting on its axis.
“Whoa there.” Chloe shot to her feet, and steadied her. “Maybe you should sit back down.”
“I’m okay.” She closed her eyes briefly, when she opened them again the world no longer spun. The doctor explained when her iron level returned to normal the dizzy spells would cease. She couldn’t wait for that, the dizzy spells were getting old quickly.
Chloe caught sight of an SUV pulling upfront of the airport. “There’s Jordan. Are you okay to walk to the SUV?”
She had to pull it together, if Cameron found out about this incident he’d worry more about her then he already did. She didn’t want his mind on anything but the missions he had to deal with. A distracted mind could get him killed. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just tired.”
Chloe nodded, and slipped her arm around Tessa’s waist, but when Tessa would have protested, Chloe quelled her with a look. “Precaution…I’d rather be close and you not need me then to not be there and you pass out, and fall to the floor. No fighting, I gave Cameron my word that I’d make sure you were safe.”
Tessa didn’t fight. She wanted a healthy child and had already taken too many risks the last few days. It was time to really follow the doctor’s orders. She’d go back to her little cabin, and to bed. Bed rest was what the doctor ordered, and that’s what she would do, but damn it would be boring without Cameron to keep her company.
What the heck am I going to do on bed rest all alone?
Tessa arrived back at the cabin from the airport, exhausted, and lonely. She fell into the bed, buried her face in his pillow, and the scent of his cologne, crying until she fell into a deep sleep. She missed him like an amputee misses their limb.
Over the years, she had been through a number of deployments and none hit her like this one had. Each one left her missing him, but none of them left her feeling as if her heart had been torn from her chest. It wasn’t because she was his wife now, or that he wouldn’t come back to her, no it had to be the pregnancy.
Through the curtains, she could see the afternoon sun setting over the lake. A white piece of paper on the nightstand caught her eye.
Tessa.
Cameron’s handwriting. A fresh spate of tears in her eyes, she reached for it.
My dear Tess,
Though I can’t be with you in person at this time, I’m with you in spirit. My every waking thought will be with you while I’m away. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to you, soon. Until then take care of yourself, and our unborn child. I’ll see you soon.
Cam
She read the note repeatedly, until her tears stained the paper. It was painfully clear he didn’t mention anything about love in the note.
In time, I’ll get him to see he loves me, and I’m already in love with him.
“I brought you dinner.”
Tessa turned to find Chloe in her doorway, her heart beating frantically against her chest. She told Chloe to let herself in whenever she came over, so she didn’t have to get up.
See, I’m taking this bed rest seriously.
“I apologize I didn’t mean to startle you. I just thought you’d be hungry.” She held up the tray with her dinner. “Doctor Bowman called, he wants to see you the day after tomorrow. He wants you to come in for a checkup.”
The talk of the doctor instantly made her hand go to her stomach. Six months and she’d have her beautiful baby in her arms. Just the thought of it eased her loneliness. Her child would get her through the deployment, the loneliness. She took the tray from Chloe, the grilled chicken, and pasta smelled heavenly.
* * *
It was late when Cameron finally staggered into his apartment, between the day of traveling, and then stopping by the base to see to the situation of his missing Marine, he was exhausted. When he finally landed, he sent Tessa a text message letting her know he arrived, he planned to call her long before then but time got away from him.
Standing in his apartment, he was truly lonely. She had only been a part of his life day and night for a few days, yet his apartment smelled of her perfume. He walked into the bedroom half expecting to see her, but she wasn’t there. He pulled out his cell phone, tempted to call her but it was after two in the morning there.
His temptation won out over his practical side. He wanted—no needed—to hear her voice again, and since he was set to deploy in just a few short hours, it might be his only chance for a while. He hit the number two button, bringing up his first favorite saved number—her cell phone number. He stared at it for a moment, before swallowing the lump in his throat and, hitting the talk button. It only had to ring twice, like she had been expecting his call.
“Hello?” Her sleepy voice filled the line. Never in his entire career had he been so split on his loyalties. He made a commitment to the Marines what seemed like a lifetime ago, and only days since he committed to Tess as her husband yet the devotion of his heart clearly laid with her.
“I’m sorry to wake you…I meant to call hours ago…” To his own ears, his voice sounded weak, and pitiful. Damn it, he was a trained Marine, and could kill with his bare hands, but Tessa brought him to his knees.
“I was hoping you’d call.” He heard ruffling of the covers, as she readjusted in bed. He could picture her lying in bed, her spaghetti strap tank top and those cute little boy shorts she preferred.
He pictured stripping them off her, pulling the shorts down with his teeth watching her arch under him as he took his time unwrapping her. His shaft grew, standing at full attention for a woman it would be months before he could touch again. He shook his head trying to clear the thoughts, his hands clenched in fists, until he had little half-moon shapes from his fingernails, pressed into his palms.
“I shouldn’t have woke you but it will be early for you when I leave…it was my last chance. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“Please don’t worry about me, I’m fine, and because of you our baby is going to be fine too. You need to keep your head in the game, stay safe and come back to us.”
Visions of that horrible day filled his mind. He was out playing with some of the other kids on base, when a familiar car drove down the lane. A hush came over the block as everyone stopped to watch, praying the Marines weren’t coming to their house. Everyone, even the children, knew what that car was, they understood someone wasn’t going to be returning home, and soon the family would be leaving their quiet little street.
Two Marines in their dress blues stepped out of the car, they put their hats back into place, straightened their uniforms, and everyone held their breaths, praying they weren’t about to be informed their husband wasn’t coming home. Cameron remembered how heavy the ball felt in his hands as they moved around their sleek black car, heading…heading to his house.
Daddy!
His young screams filled his mind as he’d run to the house, back to his mother who’d crumbled on the porch steps sobbing. That was the day his whole world changed, the day he had to step up and care for his mother, to be the man of the house.
“My sweet Tess, I know you’ll be fine. You’re a survivor, just like me. We wouldn’t have gotten through everything in our past otherwise.” He sat down on the bed, her scent surrounding him like a warm blanket. “I miss you.”
“Me too.” The sadness in her voice pulled at him. “But we’ll be together soon, with our child.”
“You take care of
my
baby. Next time you go to the doctor’s make sure you tell him I want a bouncing baby boy.” As those words flowed from his lips, he realized the truth in them. He wanted a son that he could play ball with in the back yard, to teach him all the things his father never had time to teach him.
“A son, huh? Well I’ll see what I can do about that.” She let out a soft laugh. “Chloe mentioned this evening Doctor Bowman wants to see me the day after tomorrow…to follow up because of the trip, and everything.”
“Your pregnancy will be fine as long as you take care of yourself.” The glaring numbers on the bedside clock reminded him he had to be up in four short hours. “I’ll call when I can, but I’ll be able to check my email more than call you, especially with the time difference. I left you my laptop, so make sure you email me. I want to know everything the doctor says, and each step of the pregnancy.”
“Yes, sir.” She teased. “It’s not my first rodeo. I’ll email you, but if you have a chance to call anytime, don’t worry about the time. I’ll let you know what the doctor says.”
“Good. Now get some rest. I’ll see you soon.” Not knowing when he’d get to hear her voice again he hated to say goodbye, but they both needed to get some sleep. Especially since after arriving in Clearwater they barely slept, they laid in bed watching movies, talking, but sleep was the furthest thing from their minds. Neither of them wanted their time to end.
“One last thing, Cam…” There was a long pause. “I’m so proud of you. Our child couldn’t be blessed with a better father. Stay safe.”
“I promise.” He ended the conversation and collapsed back onto the bed.
What the hell was I thinking? I went from my job is too dangerous and I want no commitment, to a wife and child on the way in a matter of days. A wife is one thing but one I’m in love with, and have been for more than half my life complicates things a bit.
* * *
Long after they ended the conversation, Tessa wished she’d told him she loved him, but that would only serve to complicate matters further. He didn’t need to leave for this deployment with any more strain then he already had. To tell him she loved him would only serve to make things tense between them.
She could feel there was still a strong connection between them, and he still had feelings for her. But were those feelings love or merely obligation, she wasn’t sure. His kisses, his touches, they made it seem like love, but it could be lust on his part. She couldn’t tell him her feelings until she was sure about his.