Close Your Eyes (37 page)

‘Hmm, sweet and spicy.’ His blue eyes never left
hers. ‘Cinnamon
, I think?’

She didn’t want it to affect her at all, and she tried to ignore
he
r
frantic heartbeat
,
which was
loud enough to make her worry
that
everyone could hear it.
It
is
Matt
, for God’s sake.
Jokes like that weren’t unusual and didn’t mean anything special.

‘
Yep
, my favorite.’ She
rose
to her feet. ‘
Thanks
for saving me from looking ridiculous,
Matt
. Still, if you want some of the spice, there is
a
container
on the counter
, next to the milk and sugar station. Next time
,
you can sample it there.’

His laughter, warm and rich
,
still rang
in her ears as she walked back to Ry
an
’s room.
A
s a
nnoying
as it seemed, it accompanied her every step of the way, finding its way into her brain like some kind of
persistent
disease.
E
ven though she wouldn’t allow herself to pursue this thought
,
she
k
new that there was no cure for her illness
, not here and not in any other hospital on the planet. All she could do was to keep going and pretend she was fine
. She hoped
that
,
for once
,
wishful thinking would
actually
pay off.

‘So, tonight is the big night, right?’ Jenna’s eyes clung to
Meg
’s face as they finished off another order of table centerpieces for
a wedding client
. The bride’s favorite color was purple
,
which made things a bit more complicated than usual. Out were most of the options
like
roses or peonies, especially since
the bride had
made it clear she didn’t want anything
changed
artificially
.
Meg
could relate
.
H
er skin crawl
ed
when
she glanced at some of the
supermarket
arrangements, placed strategically next to the checkout. Sky
-
blue carnations, deep purple roses,
aquamarine
tulips
—
the list
of falsely colored plants provided an uncanny and unnatural spectrum of choices
.

In the end
,
together with the bride
,
they
had decided on pastel hues of lavender, off
-
whites
,
and deeper purples coming from a combination of Canterbury bells,
dahlias
,
and lilies
paired
with whispery ferns and dramatic leaves ordered from a tropic
al
supplier
. The
end result delivered enough drama and beauty to charm a smile on the face of both the bride and her mom
when
they
had come
by
the day before
to inspect the progress.

‘
They should be very proud,
’
Jenna stated
.
T
he picky attitude of the whole wedding party
was
intimidating to everyone involved in the preparations.
However,
the flowers had been blessed with a
nod
of approval with only
the
mild suggestion to add a few more
lilies
here and there.

‘Well, I am glad we are finally getting out and about
.
’
Meg
sighed, pushing away a stubborn strand of hair falling across her forehead. ‘
The
last
four weeks
were very stressful, with Ry
an
first recovering
,
and
then
feeling worse once again.’

She was terrified when he
had
suffered a major setback
.
S
udden chest pains and shortness of breath
had sent
him
back to the hospital
for another two days. The family doctor was puzzled
,
as well,
and
decid
ed
to take extra precautions
,
even though he
had
initially
been
perfectly happy with his progress.
Ryan’s
wound was healing beautifully
and his
blood pressure and lab results
left
no
doubt that
he was on his way to recovery.
Yet, he complained about those unexpected
symptoms
,
which
pressed
the doctor to run another round of tests
that were only
available in the hospital.
Meg
had no doubt
that
it must have been serious. Ry
an
hated being sick or staying in bed
and would
never pay close attention to his sicknesses. He would shrug them off, too busy and determined to allow them to slow him down.

She worried terribly
and visited
him twice
to make
sure with her own eyes that he was all right. He
had tried
to calm her down
. H
is blue eyes
filled with
regret at her discomfort
, and he
looked guilty
about being
sick
. Meg’s
heart swell
ed
with compassion.
She couldn’t blame him for being sick. That was insane.
It wasn’t his fault
at all.

If anyone should have felt guilty,
she should have
. She
had done
her best to fight this unmentionable obsession with
Matt
. She avoided him as much as possible
and
cleverly test
ed
the waters before each and every visit at the
Harper
s
’
house. She had to be careful, always scared
that someone would
see through her innocent
questions. Being sneaky around R
y
an
was especially emotionally draining
. H
is
good-
natured answers
made
her feel even worse.

Her self-preservation instinct finally kicked in, and s
he
realized that she needed
to avoid
Matt
.
He was a
danger to her
equilibrium
, however unknowingly
or
inadvertently
. She was quite sure that he would be surprised to find out
the
havoc his lazy smile and warm eyes
created inside her
.

She wasn’t sure which outcome terrified her more
:
Ry
an
realizing
that
she
had changed the way she looked at and thought about
his little brother or
Matt
noticing
that her feelings were different
. Both ideas were horrible
. She cringed
as she imagined
what she’d
have
to say.
There was nothing to be
said, really. She had to forget about this insanity and concentrate on what was in front of her
.
She and Ry
an
were finally
picking up where
their relationship
left off
before
the shooting. There was a barely noticeable
,
yet definite distance between them ever since
that was
too subtle to be talked about or analyzed.

She wondered unhappily if he blamed her for getting shot
. H
er presence at
the
scene
hadn’t been
very helpful in his hour of need.

Does
he wonder what kind of support
he would have
receive
d
from someone else in
my
shoes?
Refusing to go down a destructive path, s
he didn’t want to put a name on the face that rose before her eyes. Alice Cooper
had
saved
Ryan’s
life in the hospital, but other than a pleasant memory, she was safely out of their lives.
Meg
hoped
she was gone
for good.