Close Your Eyes (39 page)

And yet, even as she felt his tongue glide between her lips and caress the roof of her mouth,
she knew
something wasn’t quite right. It should have been
perfect
, but it wasn’t.
His
arms pulled her closer, molding her slim frame against the hard expanse of his broad chest
.
His kiss deepened even more, their bodies pressed together without an inch to spare.
All his moves and gestures were flawless.
Still, something was missing.

Meg
’s
frustration boil
ed
and
took
over
, and her desperation made her bold.
She kissed him back
again, trying to silence this little voice in her head
.
It had to be right, she decided, lifting her arms and pulling him e
ven closer. She
let her fingers glide through the silky softness of his corn
-
colored hair. If it
wasn’t
right,
she would make it
right
, no
matter
what. His hair felt incredibly soft against the sensitive skin of her fingertips.

Matt
’s hair
is
much thicker, the strawberry
-
blondish strands
certainly
too rebellious and disheveled to feel
this
luxurious.
The thought came to her mind without any warning
and took
her by surprise
.
She
froze, her lips stilling under Ry
an
’s kisses.
Why on earth would
I
compare
Ry
to
Matt
right now
?

‘Are you
okay
?’ Ry
an
must have finally noticed her lack of response because he lifted his head
. His
breathing
was
still a bit ragged as he asked again, ‘
What
’
s wrong,
Meg
?’

‘Nothing, absolutely nothing.’ She forced a careless smile and hoped it would fool him. She
was
embarrassed and confused
. Her
hands
shook
as she tried to readjust
her
dress,
which had been
wrinkled
during
their embrace. ‘
But
I guess we’d better be going. If my mom came now and saw you,
you’d be
in trouble. She’d keep you here till midnight.’

‘Well, are you sure they are coming back,
Meg
?’ A
mischievous note crept into his voice as he watched her with a mix of tenderness, eagerness
,
and something else
that
she couldn’t quite name. ‘
If
not, we could be a bit late for our evening, you know.’

‘
Well
, they could pop up at any moment,’ she responded,
trying to sound
innocent.

Ryan nodded, and Meg
couldn’t get over the impression that
,
deep down
,
he was glad they couldn’t stay.
Still, she had no right to consider him dishonest after the way she had just acted
. H
er mind still
reeled
from her own falseness.
She has lied so
coldly and
swiftly
that
it totally scared her. Why she
had said
her parents
might come back
was beyond her understanding.
She was certain they
wouldn’t be back for
at least
another hour.
She’d felt
compelled to lie to Ry
an
to
avoid intimacy when
it was
all she
had been able to
think about for the last few days
, and
she
was
rejecting him
now
, when he
was so eagerly offering himself to her
. And she had no idea why.

‘All right then, let’s go.’ Obviously unperturbed
by
the abrupt end
to
their kiss, Ry
an
grinned
. His
hand
reached
out to take hers,
and
their fingers
intertwin
ed
automatically. They
had
walked like this so many times, it was no wonder their bodies could act on autopilot
. She was
glad to feel the warmth of his fingers seep into her own.

The ride was short and uneventful. Ry
an
did most of the talking
. His
jokes
had
her in stitches by the time they arrived at the Barn. She
was relieved
as she glanced at his handsome face. The feeling of ease that was one of the
main staples
of
their
relationship seemed completely restored
. T
heir chat
was
free from awkward moments of silence. She was a fool to
have worried
,
s
he silently
scolded herself as he smiled at her
and
the beauty of his masculine face tugg
ed
at her heart.

‘
Ready for some dancing?’
H
is hand
came
to rest on the small of her back as they walked in
. Her
senses
were instantly
assaulted with the hypnotic music that vibrated in the large, open concept space. It wasn’t particularly loud or obnoxious
, and
Meg
felt her legs waking up and yearning to move.

The space resemble
d
the underbelly of some
large,
ancient ship
that had been
turned upside down
. T
he huge, oak beams
across
the ceiling
made
her think of
the
backbone of a giant whale
. Colorful lights flashed across the surprisingly
big
stage
that was
already half
-
filled with people swaying to the sound of music
. The bar encompass
ed the
stage, and
the seating arrangements
comprised
a wide strip of cozy tables, sofas
,
and club armchairs. Low
-
hanging lamps made of simple strips of metal suspended on thick industrial chains cast a cool glow over the bar
. S
helves full of bottles ready to be mixed into drinks wait
ed
for the guests. The mix of the old and the new worked for the ambiance of the place perfectly
.

‘I got us a nice table in the corner, so if we don’t feel like dancing
,
we
can
talk without having to scream at each other
.
’ Ry
an
leaned
close
to her
, and his
lips
brushed
her ear as he spoke. ‘
But
I got a permission slip from my doctor to move around, so be warned.’

He grinned
. H
is boyish charm
made
it impossible to resist the
impulse to smile back.

‘I am officially warned then
.’
It
felt good to be careless again
.
T
hey
followed
the polite waiter
whose
white-and-red
uniform
was
making a bold and stylish
statement.

‘
They
do take their looks very serious around here
,
’ Ry
an
whispered to her conspiratorially
as
his fingers caress
ed
her spine. ‘I feel like
we’re
on
some kind of Austin Powers movie set.’

She giggled,
surprised
by
how light hearted he was.
She felt totally
different
than she had in the
last
few
weeks when she
their
connection
had wavered
and left
her absolutely miserable.
Tonight,
Ryan
was nearly as funny
as
Matt
. She stopped herself instantly, furious with the defection of her stubborn mind. There was absolutely no need
,
none whatsoever,
to bring
Matt
into it all.