Close Your Eyes (45 page)

There was another downside to her hurry
,
too. The more caffeine she had in her system, the more sober she became. The repressed memories of the evening and
the
pain that was almost too acute to bear came back, returning with
the
viciousness
of a wild animal ready to tear her heart into
a
thousand bleeding pieces. Maybe
these thoughts had
never
really left
.
Perhaps they had
remained crouched in the shadow
s
, patiently waiting for their chance
return
and bring her to her knees once again.

‘I really think you should go home,
Matt
.’ She lifted her eyes to him, only to discover
that
he was watching her carefully
.
His mind
, silent and unobtrusive,
traveled alongside hers
and reached
the final destination at the same time. He knew how miserable she really was
. T
he darkness in his blue eyes
told
her better than any words
that
he shared at least some of her misery.

‘I really don’t need you babysitting me
.
’
Her
anger
needed
to find something tangible to
attack
.
Matt
made a pretty good target,
because
everything about him tied to
all the
things that she needed to
hate if
she
were
to survive
the
night. ‘Go back to your wonderful family
,
and try becoming friends with
Ry’s
new girlfriend. I am pretty sure you can wrap her around your little finger if you want to,
Matt
. I’m sure your family will approve of
that
friendship. You have my blessing
,
as well
.’

‘
Ry
is an idiot
.
’
His
words
,
strong and clear
,
reverbera
ting
in the silence between them
stunned her
. ‘I told him so right away. Well, I told him a few more things
,
but that’s another story. He wasn’t too happy about
me speaking my mind
, as you can imagine.’

He smiled a crooked smile
. His
eyes
remained
on her pale face.
‘
He didn’t have to send me here.
Nothing
would
have been
able to keep me away from this damn place,
Meg
.’ His voice hardened, grating along her nerve endings as he continued. ‘
To
leave you like
this
is just incredibly irresponsible. You shouldn’t be alone,
Megs
.’

‘I can handle myself well, thank you very much.’

I
didn’t need him,
she thought angrily, refusing to give in even an inch. If she allowed herself to soften, even marginally, she’d be lost, melting in a waterfall of tears. No member of the
Harper
family would see her like that
. She pressed her lips into a thin, tight disapproving line
.
‘
Seriously
,
Matt
.
You should go home and tell
R
y
I am absolutely fine. In fact
,
I wish all the best to him and Alice.
Your family wil
l
probably
be thrilled
with
her
, anyway. At least she knows a thing or two about horses. Just teach her how to hide
her
emotions and keep
her
heart on a tight leash
,
and she will fit
right in
. Because as far as I
’
m concerned
,
that’s exactly what you all are
,
a
bunch of
cold
hypocrites,
total
control
freaks
. I am just glad I don’t have to
work so hard for
your approval anymore. So please leave
,
and feel free to let everyone know how I feel. Though
,
I don’t really think anyone cares.’

Matt
didn’t move. Her impressive
speech
hadn’t managed to
upset him
.
She forced away her dejection
, trying very hard to remain calm. She’d have to come up with some other way to get rid of him,
because
his ties to Ry
an
made
it impossible
for her
to bear his presence any longer.

‘Don’t do
this
,
Meg
.’
He surprised her again. His voice was soft and almost hesitant as he leaned forward.
He covered her hand with his.
She
wanted to
jerk her
hand
from under his warm palm, but couldn’t
bring herself to
remove it
.
Tears, bitter and suffocating, burned
her throat as she blinked furiously
in a
desperate
attempt
to keep her composure.

‘I know you’re as mad as hell right now
,
and you have every right to be
.
’
He stroked
her hand in a slow, repetitive motion that felt hypnotic. ‘But don’t hate me like that, please. You know
how I feel about you,
Meg
.’

Do I
really?
The last shreds of the alcohol
-
induced oblivion made it easier to ponder this question. At
least
she didn’t f
eel the guards
that usually came up
each time she tried to think about
Matt
and what he meant to her. It
had been off-limits
,
forbidden territory
.

It didn’t have to be like that any longer. A tiny diabolical voice at the back of her head whispered
its tempting offer
. H
er whole body
warmed with
sudden excitement. She was a free agent, after all. If she wanted
,
she could push him further, enjoying
the physical pleasure
without guilt
and m
aybe even hav
e
a twisted sense of satisf
action in the process. He was Ry
an
’s brother
,
after all.
She wondered how
Ry
an
would
feel if he knew she
’d
seduced his brother
.
Because she knew she could do it if she really wanted to.
Matt
would not offer too much resistance if she was to judge by
past
events.

Didn’t he say himself
,
only a year ago
,
that he
had
a crush on
me
?
It would have to move Ry
.
S
he
watched
Matt
from under her half
-
closed eyes,
keeping
her expression carefully hidden behind the thick veil of eyelashes.
Ry
would be furious
,
no doubt. And
so would
the rest of the clan, if they were to find out. A scandal in the
Harper
House,
she thought
sarcastically
, already enjoying the headlines. One brother’s discarded girlfriend becomes the other one’s lover.
Matt
was going away anyway
.
He
wouldn’t
really care
if she managed to miff Ry
an
enough to make him reconsider his insane quest for freedom.

‘I’m not really mad at you,
Matt
.’ S
he looked at him hesitantly. She had no clue how to play this game
and had
never really being
successful at
flirting and seduction. Ry
an
had been her one and only boyfriend,
which had
successfully
wiped
out any chances for
her to become
more experienced. They
had
dated as teenagers and later as adults
. H
er every memory
was
tied down to the golden
-
haired,
blue-eyed
man with a smile that left most of the town’s female population weak in the knees.