Clouds That Were (Weathered Hearts) (7 page)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Chase

M
y dad goes
over to give Tenley the dress and invite her mother to dinner, and I get a text from him a few minutes later telling me that the plan has been a success and that he is going to stay there to make sure everything goes smoothly. I give Tenley’s phone number to my aunt, and my aunt sends Tenley a text to let Tenley know that she is at my house waiting if Tenley needs help.

If she does come over, I don’t want to be here. I can only imagine that would make her extremely nervous. I have to go to get a tux and some kind of corsage for her anyway, so I make myself scarce. To be honest, I have no desire to be in the house while all this girliness is about to take place. The further away I can get, the better.

I head to the tux store first and hope like hell that they can do something for me on short notice. I get lucky, and they have a tux for me; the man takes my measurements and tells me to come back in about a half hour. That gives me plenty of time to find the most beautiful corsage I can. I want this night to be perfect for Tenley, so I am trying to make sure I have thought of absolutely everything.

In the back of my mind, I am wondering what kind of repercussions she will have to deal with after this. I know her mom was angry after I took her to the hardware store, so I can only imagine that she will be even more upset when she gets home from going to Homecoming. I want to show Tenley that life is worth living and that I will take care of her, so I just hope that the dance itself will be worth anything she has to deal with when she gets home.

I have to go to three different florists to find the perfect corsage, and when I see it, I know immediately that this is the one for her. It has red roses and one simple daisy. It almost appears as though the daisy doesn’t belong there, yet somehow it makes the roses more beautiful.

My heart is about ready to burst right out of my chest, I am so excited to be spending the night with her. The drive back to the tux shop seems to take forever, and I am lucky I don’t get pulled over for speeding or reckless driving. I may have been a little distracted.

When I get there, I try everything on and ask if I can just keep it on so that when I get home I can at least pretend that things are normal and that I am picking her up for our date like a real gentleman. Of course he doesn’t care, so I pay for everything and head back to the truck. My phone dings with a text from my aunt saying that Tenley will be ready in about 10 minutes. It takes me about 15 to get home from here, so that is perfect.

I made a playlist for her last night while I was supposed to be sleeping, but couldn’t. I make sure it is all ready to go, so I can turn it on when she gets in. It is filled with songs that say far better than I can how I really feel about her.

Pulling into the driveway, my stomach is doing somersaults, and my hands are shaking. I don’t think I have ever been so nervous in my life. I check my hair in the rearview mirror, and it is as unmanageable as it always is, but I run my fingers through it anyway in an attempt to make it look like I at least tried. My attempt is an epic fail.

I walk up to the front door, and I am about to walk in; but think I should probably knock or ring the doorbell or something to make it seem more date like. I opt for ringing the doorbell in case they are upstairs. In a matter of seconds, my aunt Mel answers the door, and she is practically floating, she is so happy; however, I only have a second to notice her before I catch the sparkle of Tenley’s dress behind her, and my attention is all on her.

She looks like an angel. The dress fits her perfectly and with her hair and makeup done, she belongs on some kind of pedestal with guards around her to make sure nothing happens to her. Not only does she look perfect, but the way she is fiddling with her fingers and standing there so shyly, it is all I can do not to run and pull her into my arms right that very second.

With every ounce of restraint I have, I calmly walk over and present her with the corsage. I have no idea what I said because all I can think about is how gorgeous she looks, but I must have managed something at least somewhat intelligent because the smile she is smiling at me actually may have made my heart stop beating for a minute.

All I can manage to do is to hold my elbow out for her to take and lead her out to the car. “Speechless” does not even begin to describe how I feel right now. I have never been in love before, but I am pretty sure I am now.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Tenley

H
e walks me
out to the truck like a true gentleman, opens the passenger side door, and helps me in.

“You truly are the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. Thank you for being my date tonight,” he says smiling.

I give him another smile as he closes the door.

“I made us a playlist to listen to on the way there. Would you like to hear it?”

“Yes, I would.”

He reaches over to his phone, and within seconds the car is filled with music.

There are songs that I know, and songs that I don’t, but as I listen to the lyrics, every song seems to have the same message. About a boy who loves a girl who doesn’t realize she is being loved. I don’t have much experience with boys, but even I can pick up on what he is trying to say.

As hard as it is for me to believe, what he appears to be trying to tell me, “I want you to let me love you,” is believable to me. I believe every lyric of every song that he has put on this playlist.

By the time we get to the dance, after listening to all of the songs that he put on this playlist, I can only assume that he is using these songs to try to tell me how he feels. As inexperienced as I am with boys, I feel like I can trust my instincts with Chase.

The drive seems too long and too short, all at the same time. I feel so different when I am with him. I have never felt like I was worth anything to anyone, but for whatever reason, with Chase, I feel like I am everything. Maybe not to everyone, but at least to him, and that’s all I care about.

As we pull up to the school, I realize that I am not nervous at all anymore. The way he keeps looking at me and smiling, trying not to let me see that he’s doing it, has put me completely at ease, and I am eager to go into the dance.

He gets out of the car and races around to get to my door before I have a chance to open it. He leans in and kisses me, gently at first, but the intensity grows with every second. When he pulls away, he takes my hand and puts it in the crook of his elbow once again as he leads me in to the school.

Being at school in the dark is weird. Everything looks different, with streamers and twinkle-lights everywhere. It seems odd to look down hallways where I spend so much time and see them only dimly lit by exit signs with big gates blocking them off from the gym where the dance is being held.

The gym has been transformed into something so beautiful, that it is hard to believe it has ever been anything but this. Lights, streamers, and balloons cover every surface, covering up any remnants of the body-odor-smelling gymnasium.

We walk over and get some punch, and I become aware that people are starting to notice us. With neither of us really having any friends, I can only assume they are wondering why either of us is here. While we are standing there, the DJ announces the first slow song of the night.

With hopeful eyes Chase makes eye contact with me and very sweetly asks, “Would you dance with me?”

I nod and smile at him as he takes my hand and leads me out onto the dance floor.

He links his hands together on my lower back, and I reach up and link my hands together behind his neck, and for the next three minutes, there is no one in that room except us. We sway around in slow circles with our eyes locked on each other, and I find myself praying for the song to go on forever. As the last notes of the song play, he leans in and puts his forehead on mine and simply says, “Thank you.”

I tilt my head to the side and ask, “Why are you thanking me?”

“For allowing me to not only take you to this dance, but to dance with you too. I promised you that I would save you from your life, and I hope you see that this was just one of many ways that I’m going to make that happen.

“Tenley, I am falling in love with you, and I have every intention of making you fall right along with me. A few days ago, I asked you what you wanted to be when you grow up, and your response was “dead.” I need to ask you again: What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I am so shocked by everything he just said, and my response is literally the only word in my brain: “Yours.”

Chase smiles at me, and leans in and kisses me on the forehead. When he pulls back, I see that his eyes are glistening with tears about to fall as he says, “You don’t have to wait; you already are. And I’m yours.”

“I have had my dance with you. Now if you don’t mind, I have something I would like to show you.” He looks at me again with hope in his eyes, clearly hoping that I will agree to go wherever it is that he wants to go.

“Yeah, I think one dance with you is plenty,” I say sarcastically as I smile at him.

He grins a big grin, grabs my hand, and leads me out of the gymnasium as fast as he can with me trailing behind him in high heels.

Within moments of leaving the gym, we are back in the truck, and he is headed out of town. “Can I ask where we are going?” I question.

“You can ask, but I won’t tell you,” he says with a mischievous smile.

“I hope this is more exciting than your just pulling over on the side of the road again.” I roll my eyes at him and laugh as he reaches over and grabs my hand. He pulls my hand up to his mouth and puts a kiss on my knuckles and then puts our hands back down in my lap as he runs his thumb up and down my fingers.

We keep driving until we eventually pull into a spot near the airport. I have no idea why we would be here; clearly he isn’t planning to fly me somewhere… Or is he? He turns left instead of pulling into the actual airport and soon takes a sharp right into a seemingly empty field. When he finally stops the car, we are only a few feet and a fence away from the end of one of the runways. Since we are in a pick-up truck, he turns around and backs into the spot that he has chosen and puts the truck in park.

“Hang on. I just need to get the back ready for you.” He says, while smiling at me in a way that suggests he is expecting me to freak out.

He reaches into the back of the cab and pulls out a bunch of blankets and sets them up in the truck bed making it not seem like the back of a truck at all, but like a cozy retreat for us to hang out in.

As he comes to my side of the truck and opens my door, he looks at me hesitantly and grabs my waist to help me out of the truck, kissing my cheek as he gently sets me on the ground. He helps me into the bed of the truck, grinning like a school boy the whole time.

“I’m sure you have heard that guys bring girls here to make out, but I discovered this place before I even knew that, and I thought you would really like it.

“See, from this spot, the planes taking off fly right over our heads. It gave me a sense of freedom the first time I came, and knowing what you are going through with your mom, I thought maybe you could use that sense of freedom, too. Obviously we aren’t on the plane, but we can try to imagine where they are going and why, and we can imagine where we would go.”

Chase reaches down and starts to unclasp the buckles on my shoes, as we hear an airplane in the vicinity starting to get louder. He swiftly unbuckles both shoes and tosses them to the side. He climbs in to the truck bed and pulls me in behind him. He sits up against the back window of the cab of the truck, pulling me to sit in between his legs with my back against his chest. Once I am settled in, he leans over and whispers in my ear, “I want you to just imagine all of that, but don’t close your eyes.”

There is a moment when the plane seems to be flying just a few feet above us, and it is a surreal experience. It feels like we are going to be blown away from the force of the air, and at the same time, it feels like we couldn’t move even if we tried. For that moment, the notion that I am trapped by my mother is gone; all I can sense is freedom. I seems like I could go anywhere, be anything, all because of this boy holding on so tight that I have the impression that he fears I might actually jump on the plane and fly away forever.

Watching the plane go over us, so closely, at the exact moment when I feel that I cannot possibly stay on the ground, Chase reaches for me and kisses me. This kiss, with the plane flying right over us, makes me feel small, and yet at the same time, I still feel like I am Chase’s world. So large, that I have no idea how to react. All I can do in this moment is to try to put every emotion I have into kissing him back. And yet I feel that even if I put everything into this one kiss, it cannot measure up to what he is putting into this kiss.

I can feel him. With this one kiss, I can feel everything he is feeling, everything he has ever felt. Every sad moment, every happy moment, every moment that he didn’t know what to feel. It is all wrapped up in this one kiss. The kisses earlier today were nothing compared to the emotion that is being communicated in this kiss.

My world to this point has been so self-involved. So focused on what I was experiencing and not experiencing because of my mother. I had never had time or a reason to think about anything or anyone else, but in this moment, I can think of nothing but Chase and what he is feeling. I’m not worried about what he is feeling about me or anything like that. I can feel the emotion behind his kiss, and it’s all I can think about. As of right now, nothing I am going through matters. All I care about is Chase.

When he finally pulls away from me, I am breathless, and I cannot think a rational thought. The only thing I care about in this moment is this moment.

I love Chase. I love him. I have never loved anyone, so I can’t be sure, but I know in this moment that I can’t imagine my life without him; I can’t imagine anything without him. I want him to be there for every single moment after this. And I have no words to describe what I would feel if he weren’t there.

I need him. I need him to be in my life. I need him to be by my side. I need to be able to kiss him whenever I want to, and I need to have his hand to hold whenever I need a hand to hold.

His
forehead still leaning on mine, I can’t help it: I allow the words to come out. “I love you. I don’t even know what that means, but I know that I have never felt this way about anyone else before you, so I am pretty sure I love you, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to say it, too, because I’m sure you don’t feel the same way, but this is how I feel, and I needed to say it out loud. Please say something. Otherwise, I am just going to keep talking, and as I keep talking, what I am saying is going to get less and less intelligent, so seriously please say something.”

“When
I told you at the dance that I was falling in love with you, what I should have said is that I already am in love with you. I’m pretty sure I have been since the moment I first saw you… Everything about you is perfect: the way you smile, the way you frown, the way you try to push people away and yet somehow managed to pull me in. And of course my new favorite, the sarcasm.” I laugh. “I love you, I love you, I love you. And I think you are very cute when you ramble, and apparently rambling is contagious.”

I don’t know if there is or isn’t a God, but I am praying to whatever there is right now that nothing happens to take him away from me. I couldn’t take it. With that thought, I lean my head back on his chest. I don’t know how long we sit there, but I could have stayed forever.