Coco Chanel Saved My Life (23 page)

“What do you mean?”

“There is a mysterious admirer who sends me gifts…” I said, with a still shaking voice.

“Funny. And you don't have any idea who he might be?”

“No, not a clue – I've received a few packages at home, but there wasn't a name or address of the sender.”

“This is intriguing…” he laughed.

“I confess, I'm very curious. He must be someone who knows me pretty well, since he seems to know my passion for Chanel.”

“If he's really interested in you, sooner or later he will come out in the open. He would be a fool to let you go…” he had another sip of wine, without taking his eyes off me.

I blushed and my legs were shaking – thank god they were under the table!

“You are really sweet, Coco… very elegant, polite and discreet.”

Hmmm,
discreet
, I wasn't sure about that. If only he knew I had nosed into his private life and that I still had his love letter… I definitely wasn't discreet!

The wine began to have an effect on me; so before making one of my usual absurd faux pas, I decided it was time to go.

“Now I must go.” I stood up, grabbing my handbag, “it's been quite a long day, and I'm looking forward to a warm bath. Thank you for the drinks!”

“Coco, I enjoyed talking with you.”

“Right…” I looked at him, without knowing what else to add, so I turned to go and heard Etienne whispering, “see you tomorrow, sweet Coco.”

My first week in Paris literally flew by. I had begun to spend some time with a very nice French co-worker. After work she took me around Paris to show me fantastic bakeries and the trendiest bistros.

Elodie was my age and had lived in New York for several years. Every night she introduced me to a new friend. She insisted that I should experience a French guy, to discover why Parisian lovers were famous throughout the entire world.

I liked being with her. She was open-minded and tolerant, she knew how to have fun, but she also knew what was important in life.

One evening at dinner we started to talk about men.

“So,
cherie
, is there anyone among our colleagues that you like?” Elodie loved to flirt…

“Hmm… I don't know,” I answered, tasting the first forkful of a delicious beef tartare. “I don't think it's a good idea to have affairs at work, do you?”

“
Mais non
, on the contrary… little adventures at work are fun and exciting!” She said, dressing her huge nicoise salad.

“But don't you think they could really complicate things?”

“Not if you make it clear that they are only adventures, with no expectations. Actually, often they can create interesting
complicité
and empathy.”

“I don't know… and what about jealousy or the sense of possession and affection? If eventually the affair ends badly, then it may become difficult to keep working together. Am I right?” I wasn't convinced.

“No, no… you're way too cerebral and sentimental! Sex, good sex, doesn't necessarily separate two people, rather often it brings them closer.”

“You're so wise!” Laughing, I poured another glass of wine.

“I think I am wise, but I'm also all for sexual freedom.”

“Yes, you are, my dear!” We both laughed. “So have you ever had a sexual relationship with a co-worker?”

“Oh well, yes… with two of them. But I won't reveal their names to protect their privacy.” She winked at me.

“Ok, I won't grill you!”

“Do you know who I find really handsome?” She asked as she spread salted creamy butter on a warm baguette. “Etienne.”

I struggled to swallow what I was eating.

“Isn't he super sexy?” She asked, looking in my eyes.

“Yes, he's cute…” I said, with some hesitation.

“They say he used to be an incredible womanizer and that he collected girls like stamps! Then, all of a sudden, he stopped. Who knows why…”

Because of Juliette, that's why!

“Really?” So, the sexy and kind blue-eyed young man had a Don Giovanni past… good to know.

“Maybe he's just taking a break, but I'm convinced it won't last long. When you've tasted freedom, it's hard to give it up.”

I didn't agree with her. Probably, he had found true love, which can deeply change a person, even the most determined bachelor.

“I hope he will come back around and choose me to be one of the
stamps
in his collection!” She laughed.

“Yes, I'm sure. Nobody could resist you!” I threw a little piece of bread at her, and we continued to laugh.

*

At evening Paris becomes even more magical. I came back on the metro from Montmartre and decided to take a walk around the neighbourhood. I wandered up to the splendid Place des Vosges and drifted in the central garden that is closed to visitors at night. The streets were almost deserted and I could hear the night owls steps echoing under the arcades.

Everything was so perfect: work, city, friendships… the only thing missing was love.

I thought of Cristian. I wondered what he was doing, who he was with, and under what sky. I would still love to see him again. A tiny melancholy thought crawled into my mind and my soul. I tried to push it away with some other happy thought. Paris wasn't the right city to lose myself to nostalgia in. I turned and headed toward home.

*

On Monday morning I found Etienne waiting for me at my desk, drinking his inevitable espresso. He seemed in a good mood.

“I knew you would be in early. You are always the first to arrive.”

I put my handbag on the desk and wondered aloud, “why are you here?” I was perplexed.

“I want to take you out for a special visit of Paris. I would like to show to you a few places that make this city magical. Are you free?”

I still had my coat and hat on. I was ready to go.

“Sure! Let's go…”

While driving out of the city, I asked, “So, what's the first important landmark?”

“You'll see. It's a surprise.” He sounded mysterious.

I began to observe him more closely. I noticed his beautiful hands, and that he didn't wear a watch. I recalled Elodie's words about his past as a womanizer. I tried to imagine him seducing some woman he'd just met. Somehow he just didn't seem to be that kind of guy. He was always a total gentleman. Maybe at times he delighted and confused me with his compliments, but he had never really come on to me since I first met and got to know him. Perhaps true love really had made him into a completely different person.

I saw a sign for Versailles. “Are we going to the Royal Palace?” I was very excited.

“You got it! Have you ever been there?” he asked, turning to look at me.

“No, but it's a place I've always wanted to visit. My mother had a book about Versailles Gardens, and when I was a child I spent hours looking at the photographs and drawings, dreaming about queens and princesses… I wanted to be a queen when I grew up!”

He laughed, “Ultimately, to be a queen of France didn't mean a life with a happy ending…”

“I know it! So, a good reason to be glad I was born in a republic.”

He laughed again. “You're really funny, Coco.” He looked at me for another brief moment and I felt butterflies in my stomach. There was something about this man that really attracted me, almost violently, although I always felt inadequate in his presence. Maybe I just idealized him too much.

*

Etienne got in line to buy the tickets, and I wandered around the forecourt in front of the palace. I always dreamed of visiting this Chateau, its royal apartments and gardens, and now it was actually going to happen. Another dream comes true!

“It's important to still be able to be surprised by beauty…” I was looking at Etienne who had stopped to admire the bed of Louis XIV, and I added, “I wonder how many risqué adventures this bed has seen!”

“Yes, it looks pretty comfortable. I should make one just like this for my home,” he joked.

When we finished the tour of the palace, we moved to the gardens.

“This is just magnificent!” I said, walking among fountains, statues, and perfectly trimmed box hedges.

“Yes, these gardens are exceptional. And to think that in 1999 a violent storm had destroyed most of this. It was all redone after the damage, and now they are very close to the original landscape design.”

“Did you ever organize any events here? What a unique location.”

“Yes, we have used it for very special occasions. I wanted to show to you this place so you could understand how marvellous our work can be.”

“Thank you! It has been very instructive…” I was ecstatic.

He came over and his warm hand lightly brushed my arm. I felt a tiny electric shock through my clothes. He was staring at me without saying a word. I was paralyzed, feeling my heart racing like crazy.

“Monsieur Etienne!” We heard a voice calling from a distance. We stood there motionless, looking at each other.

A man in a grey suit was swiftly approaching us. He had a moustache and a pocket watch.

“Monsieur Etienne, it's such a pleasure to see you again! The girls at the ticket office informed me that you were here.”

I thought,
perfect timing
– thanks a lot mister!

“Jacques, what a surprise! I didn't know you would be here in Paris.” Etienne said, shaking his hand.

“Rebecca, Jacques is the managing director of events at Versailles Palace. We worked with him several times in the past, and we hope to do so again in the future.”

I shook his hand, but to be honest, I was not especially happy about his intrusion.

“Are you surveying the gardens for some event?”

“No, I'm just showing the beauty of all this to a colleague. Rebecca has come all the way from Italy.”

“Ah! I see. So, I will let you continue your visit.”

*

On the way back to Paris, we didn't talk much. Etienne seemed tense.

“Thank you so much for the special tour.” I was trying to appear nonchalant. “It has been a beautiful day.”

“Yes, a perfect day.” he said, as he kept staring at the road.

He parked one block from the office and we went inside.

It was past lunch time, but neither of us seemed to be very hungry.

“Well, I hope you have a nice afternoon at work.” he said, while we were waiting for the elevator.

“Yes, and you too!” I said, pushing the elevator buttons for both of us.

“Okay then, see you tomorrow.” he was almost whispering.

“See you tomorrow…” and I watched as he disappeared into the hallway, before the elevator doors closed.

*

That evening, when I returned home, I made hot tea, waiting for Emma to connect on Skype. I couldn't wait to update her on my Parisian life.

“How are you? Have you already forgotten about us?” She said, with her sweet smile.

“Not at all! I miss you very much, but I'm doing well…” I was drinking a wonderful tea from the Mariage Freres that I bought in their unbelievable store. I had to remember to buy some tea for Mrs Leoncini. She was the one who told me about the place.

“What's your news? How is work going?”

“Work is fantastic! The staff are all very nice and I met this girl, a real character, who takes me out some evenings to show me Paris by night.”

“Elodie. You already told me about her, and I'm starting to feel a little jealous.” She laughed, and brushed some stray hair away from her face. “So… what about men? Do you have someone in mind yet? A knight in shining armour?”

“Hmmm… not exactly sure… maybe someone…” I confessed.

“Oh – oh! Could it be that we have a candidate for our charming Coco! Who is he?”

“Actually no, I don't think he's a good candidate. On the contrary, he's the worst candidate possible! It's Etienne.”

“Are you talking about the same Etienne that at first you had mistaken for an errand boy? The same Etienne of the infamous love letter?” She sounded perplexed.

“Hmm… yes, that's the one.”

“Etienne your boss?”

“Right…”

“Jesus! Coco! Etienne who is going to marry Juliette?” Now she was shouting.

“I got it! You don't need to remind me of the whole story…”

“Ok. So, I will tell you only two things: this man is your boss
and
he has a fiancée.”

“I know Emma, I know! And it's exactly because of all these reasons that, even in spite of the wild, overwhelming, violent attraction I feel for him, I've decided to resist the temptation.”

“Coco, do whatever feels right, but,
please
, don't let him break your heart!”

Emma was my Jiminy Cricket. She always said the right thing.

“I have no intention of going through hell again with a broken heart. I learned the lesson. I don't want to spend more months on my couch in despair… life is too short to carry love as a burden. I will behave professionally with Etienne, nothing more; I will avoid getting lost in his incredible blue eyes.”

Emma laughed. “You will never change!”

But, actually, I thought that I had changed a lot. Last year had transformed me. I felt more self-confident at work and had finally accepted my body: no more absurd diets or giant scales persecuting me! It seemed that the only drama for me was still love.

I said goodbye to Emma and made a quick dinner. While going through the pages of a magazine, looking for interesting things to do that week, I noticed an advertisement for a theatre performance that looked familiar. Holy shit! It was Cristian's company! I began to shake with emotion. This meant he was in Paris. We were under the same sky! It had been a while since I had heard from him, so I had no idea where he was these days.