Coco Chanel Saved My Life (27 page)

“Thank you… I don't know what to say…”

“You don't need to say anything. You've earned it. And now back to work! Keep doing your best.” He shook my hand again and I left. It was a wonderful return.

*

When I got home I wrote an e-mail to Elodie. I wanted to tell her about my first day back in Milan… I missed her. I missed her cheerfulness and carefree spirit that so often helped me get through difficult times.

Later I remembered the tea I'd bought in Paris for Mrs Leoncini and decided to pay her a visit. I got to the door and heard her playing the piano. I loved it, so I stood there for a while just listening to the music before knocking on her door.

“Oh darling!” She greeted me as if I were a close friend. “I didn't expect you…”

“Sorry to disturb you, but I've just come back from Paris and I brought something for you.”

“You don't disturb me at all, sweetie. Come in…”

In a corner I saw Ramon, the big parrot, sleeping on his perch. On a low table there were three lighted candles and a cake.

“Are you celebrating something special?” I asked.

“Today is our anniversary…” She was talking about her lost love, which I found to be really touching.

“This is for you!” I handed her a small package.

“Thank you! But you didn't have to do this…”

“You're very welcome! It's just a little thought from Paris.”

“I appreciate it very much! Would you like to have a glass of prosecco with me?”

I accepted with joy. Maybe sharing our solitude could be a good idea.

“Today would be forty-two years together.” She handed me a glass of prosecco and a slice of cake.

“Do you miss him a lot?”

“Every day is still like the first day.” She looked out of the window.

“But you lived a great love!” I instinctively said these words.

“The biggest of loves…” She sat at the piano and began to play for me. She was playing for all impossible loves, for his love tragically ended, and for my loves that seemed never to be able to blossom.

*

Over the next few days I was extremely busy with work. I realized that my new position as vice director had increased my salary but also my responsibilities.

Valentina had become less aggressive with me, but still she wasn't an easy person to deal with.

I resisted the temptation to write to Etienne, and he did the same. I missed him – incredibly.

*

On the day of the big wedding – that had been my first important project at the agency – we decided to involve the entire staff. Valentina went to the chapel to oversee the ceremony, while I, with some of my colleagues, remained at the castle to check that everything was ready for the party.

It was all a great success, also thanks to an unexpectedly mild and sunny day for the end of March.

We were ready to leave the party, when the bride asked us to stay for the throwing of the bouquet. She knew that Valentina and I were single, and wanted to respect the tradition that involves all the unmarried women.

Without great enthusiasm, I went and stood behind a small group of the bride's girlfriends. The bride turned her back and threw the bouquet. The small bunch of white camellias flew over the heads of several young women shouting and jumping, to hit my head, then it fell on the grass. Incredulous, I picked it up, hearing the applause of the guests.

“Congratulations, Rebecca!” Valentina said, laughing. Unexpectedly, she didn't sound sarcastic.

“Best wishes!” The bride hugged me. “Apparently you will be the next!”

Was destiny mocking me?

“You can't keep going on like this, Coco… Please, get a handle! Sooner or later you've got to join the world of the living again!” Emma was trying to help me shake off my passivity. Once again I was trying to find an excuse not to join her and her friends for an evening out.

“I just want to be by myself… Sorry.” I was unable to add anything else.

During the last few weeks I'd become an anti-social recluse. I was working a lot, sometimes until late at night. I didn't go out much, actually not at all. I didn't feel comfortable around people. Also, I had even lost my enthusiasm for dressing up and wearing make-up just to go out someplace with some friends of friends, ending my evenings drinking too much wine and listening to small talk. Emma and Claudio tried to introduce me to several men. I know, it was all in good faith. They wanted me to have the experience of sharing my life with someone, a joy that they both were living. But I just wanted to be left alone.

“Stop thinking what could have happened, Coco! Life is full of opportunities and you can't seize them, if you continue to sit here and rot on your sofa… Come on, girl!”

“Well, Emma, this is a very comfortable sofa.”

I thought of Etienne all the time. I remembered our kiss and his words. I wondered how it would have gone, if he hadn't had another woman. I was wondering if I should have stayed longer in Paris. If I could go back in time, I would probably do many things differently.

“You're right, Emma. I know I should be pro-active, but I need more time. It has been a very intense year, and I'm not ready to forget everything and start from scratch.”

“But you must! It's the only way to recover your serenity and balance. Put aside grief and regrets and start over. Look at things from a positive perspective: you don't have to start from zero. You have a successful job that you like, you have us, and tons of shoes, all amazing! Start over from here… Start from any one of these places that has value in your life. The rest will come.”

The
rest
never came to me. The rest always went in a different direction, wherever the hell it wanted!

“Thank you, Emma. I know you are always there for me, but now I just want to stay home and eat my ice cream in peace…”

“If you don't want to do this for me, at least do it for your figure!”

Ouch… my Achilles heel! By constantly eating sweets and ice cream to comfort me in my despair, I risked gaining unwanted pounds.

“You scored! Yes, it's ok to stay home and wallow in self-pity, but I should do it fasting!”

“Silly girl,” she said, laughing. “Come on, I'm asking you for the last time. Put on one of your delightful sheath dresses and join us. It will be good for you.”

I knew Emma. She would have insisted forever.

“Alright! I'll come. But remember, I won't be good company. You know me, I'm the queen of whining and tonight I will wear a long face!”

“Well, to balance the long face, you have to wear a mini skirt!”

I laughed. Emma never gives up.

I quickly dressed and did my make-up, almost avoiding the mirror.

One day I would write a book about my love life of pain and suffering. I knew the title already:
From the heights to the pits. The story of a broken heart
.

I put on some ballet flats and went out into the mild spring breeze.

The bar where Emma was waiting for me was not far from home, so I decided to walk. That evening I longed to walk forever and simply disappear into the warm night.

When I arrived at the bar, I started to look for Emma and Elena. There were so many people that I couldn't find them, so I went outside to call Emma on her cell. I was looking around, when I noticed a couple outside a pizzeria on the other side of the street. They were very close to each other and laughing out loud. The woman had her back towards me. She was blonde, skinny, and there was something familiar about her. Was it…? Could it be…? The sneaky bitch Anna? I hid behind a car to observe more carefully. Yes! There was Anna! My insipid rival, in the company of a tall and elegant young guy. She was laughing, obviously amused by him, and leaning in closely. Her body language clearly showed she was attracted to him. That stupid slut was flirting. So… not only did she steal my man, but she spent her evenings on the prowl for other men! I couldn't stop looking at her. I had a morbid wish to see just how this little scene would end…

“Here you are!” Emma came out to look for me, and found me crouching on the sidewalk.

“What are you doing?”

“Shhh!” I signalled her to hide. I didn't want Anna to see us, although she seemed too busy with her Don Giovanni to notice anyone else.

Emma came behind the car and squatted down too. “Coco, can you explain to me what's going on?”

“Look… that's Anna, over there!”

“Who?”

“Anna.
The
Anna. My ex-friend who stole my ex-boyfriend!” I pointed towards the other side of the street, where the couple were continuing their seduction dance.

“But he's not Niccolò!”

“Eagle eyes! Of course not, Emma.”

“They seem very… intimate!”

“Did you notice too?”

Now Anna was very close to the guy and was whispering something in his ear. He laughed and put his hand on her hip to pull her even closer. She caressed his hair before lightly kissing his lips.

“Wow! I don't think our friend Niccolò would be happy to see his princess clinging to another man…”

“I suppose not…” I giggled and felt a healthy satisfaction growing inside.

“Do you think she's cheating on him?”

“I don't think anything and I don't care, but
Mr Perfection
doesn't seem to have chosen his
woman to love
very carefully
.
” My words betrayed a sense of amusement and delight.

The Adonis kissed Anna on her neck and then they disappeared inside the pizzeria.

Emma, still squatting down, said, “See, I was right to insist that you get out of the house tonight!”

“I know, you are right! I haven't been feeling so cheerful for a while now…”

“Isn't strange to see the
perfect woman
flirting with another man?”

“Yes, it's bizarre, but also liberating. I often asked myself what she had that I didn't have… and now I know it. She is cleverer and she's catting around. I'm glad to be rid of a man who wants to be engaged to that kind of woman.”

For weeks, even months, I regretted that I wasn't Anna. Now I was happy to be myself: the loyal, faithful Coco. I ordered a cocktail at the bar and spent all evening dancing and drinking. I'd had my little revenge.

*

The next morning, I arrived at the office with a terrible hangover. I was resuming my familiar, old, bad Milanese habits.

After a double dose of caffeine, I tried to work. We had another important wedding coming soon, and I had to be sure everything was ready to go.

While I was taking a break to write to Elodie, I received an unexpected e-mail. It was from Niccolò again. He was asking if I wanted to see him…

“Why should I want to see you, idiot?” I thought aloud, cursing at the computer.

Perfect timing, architect! The evening before I saw your fiancée clinging to another man, and the next day you ask me out… what is this? Candid camera?

I deleted the message without answering, and went back working alone with my headache.

Later that afternoon the bride of the upcoming wedding called me. She was in the middle of a panic attack. The showroom that had made her wedding dress was late with deliveries. She had to leave that evening for Lake Maggiore, where the ceremony was to be held, and she didn't have time to pick it up.

I listened for a while to her desperate whining, and then I decided to sacrifice myself for a good cause. I would go and pick up the dress myself the next afternoon, I would keep it at my apartment – protecting it with my life – and then I would drive to Lake Maggiore early the following morning to deliver it.

Having reassured my bride, I asked for the company car for the next two days, and finally left the office.

That evening I was invited for dinner at Claudio's for an
extra pounds and tears
night. Lucrezia had selected the film, and I knew I would cry all evening, watching a movie with my friends. It was a catharsis and I needed it.

“Is this the
crying room
?” I asked, as soon as Claudio opened the door.

“Tonight no tears, don't worry!” Lucrezia shouted from the kitchen.

“Why? Did you decide to tear yourselves away from romantic, tragic movies?”

“We opted for a classic love story:
Cinderella
!”

“Great! At last a serious, important story, where the prince chooses the woman with the best shoes!”

At the end of the film I was swimming in a sea of tears.

“Coco, do you cry also for happy endings?” Lucrezia asked, handing me a kleenex.

I was so touched to see Prince Charming who searched for his love among hundreds of women. Cinderella had shameless luck! No woman had written a love letter to the prince asking him to marry her; so he was free to choose without guilt and regrets. Something Etienne couldn't do.

“The prince wanted her and her alone – he chose her out of all the rest. Isn't it romantic?”

“You'll see, Coco, sooner or later a drunk Prince Charming in some remote part of the planet will come to his senses and will come to search for you – and you alone. It will be easy for him to find you, if he is holding a shoe!” Claudio smiled at his own joke.

Both Lucrezia and I laughed out loud. I hugged him. “I love you, silly man!”

That night I went to bed early. The next day I had to deal with the hysterical bride's dress!

*

I arrived at the office earlier than usual. I did some work in the morning, then I had lunch with two friends from the office. After lunch I picked up the company car keys from the concierge, and began my adventure. The success of this wedding depended on me. I felt like a secret agent on an important mission.

At the showroom I was received by a middle aged lady, with an elegant black dress and with her hair up in a small bun.