Read Collection of Stories for Demented Children Online

Authors: John H. Carroll

Tags: #halloween, #christmas, #ireland, #rainbow, #easter, #indie author, #emo bunny

Collection of Stories for Demented Children (8 page)

The few elves that did get by were thunked
in the head by sugar cubes shot from the wand of fairies flitting
by. Zannae did a little twirl. “It’s working! Yay!”

“It will only work for a few minutes before
the elves regroup. We need to get to Santa’s computer or else it’s
all for nothing,” Sydae scolded.

“It looks like Mrs. Claus went back inside
without closing the door. Now’s our chance,” Araedae said,
motioning them to follow. The three of them flitted up the steps
and into the doorway.

A beautiful living room with burgundy
furniture, lush green carpeting, candy-cane wall paper and a giant
Christmas tree greeted their eyes. A fireplace warmed the room
while the scent of cinnamon and hot cocoa drifted through the air.
Christmas carols played softly from an old stereo in the
corner.

“Their room is up the stairs. We have to go
through it to get to the office,” Araedae told them as she flew
slowly up.

“Won’t Santa and Mrs. Claus be in the room?”
Sydae asked. They all stopped and exchanged glances. “Exactly
why
did we put prune juice in Santa’s hot chocolate?”

“We did it so he wouldn’t be able to help
the elves defend against the attack.” Araedae answered. “There’s no
way the fairies would be able to take on Santa too. It made sense
at the time.”

“We didn’t think about Mrs. Claus either,”
Sydae pointed out.

“She’s really nice from what I hear. All the
reindeer love her. Comet’s wife, Sharla, told me so.” Zannae said
with a nod.

“I can’t believe we kidnapped Sharla so that
Comet would sneak the prune juice into Santa’s hot chocolate. I
feel bad for Sharla most of all, but at least she’s been
understanding about the whole thing.” Araedae said with a sigh. “It
had to be done though. We just don’t have any choices left to
us.”

“I still don’t understand how a reindeer can
sneak prune juice into hot chocolate,” Sydae said, her face
twisting in confusion. “They don’t have hands and they’re much too
big to sneak around.”

They all exchanged glances and shrugged.

“We have to try to get into the computer as
fast as possible. Let’s go.” Araedae zipped the rest of the way up
the stairs and went to the Claus’s bedroom door to peek in. “It
looks clear. I don’t see Santa or Mrs. Claus.”

They carefully walked along the floor toward
the office, which was on the far side of the bedroom. Halfway
through, they passed the bathroom door and heard a loud disgusting
noise. “It sounds and smells like the prune juice is working,”
Zannae said, waving her hand back and forth in front of her
scrunched up face.

“Ugh. Let’s get this done as fast as
possible,” Araedae suggested. They took to the air and flew toward
the open office doorway. “There’s no one here. Zannae, go to the
computer right away.” She pointed toward the computer desk against
the far wall. The monitor’s screensaver was scrolling through
various tropical beach scenes. “Sydae and I will watch the
door.”

“You got it!” Zannae zipped toward the desk
and tapped the keyboard to get rid of the screensaver. Then she
began gracefully dancing on the keys in order to hack into the
system.

“Wow. What a neat globe,” Sydae said as she
darted off to a table where a brilliantly colored globe sat slowly
spinning.

“We’re supposed to be watching the door,”
Araedae said in exasperation. She stared at the globe from a
distance. “You’re right. It really is pretty.”

“It has Santa’s workshops on it too and it
looks like they move around.”

Araedae couldn’t resist, she went over and
joined her friend to stare at it in amazement.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” a booming
voice asked. The fairies turned to see Santa in the doorway. His
shirt was rumpled and his hair was matted with sweat, but he was
standing straight and looked angry.

“Nice job of watching the door,” Zannae said
with her arms spread wide while glaring at her two partners in
crime.

“We were looking at the pretty globe,
Santa,” Sydae said quickly, flying up to the usually jolly man.
“You have a
very
nice office.” She gestured behind her back
for Zannae to continue.

Araedae saw what she was up to and flew up
as well. “Oh yes. It’s a very nice office and the globe is
very
pretty. We were just trying to see if we could find our
home.”

Mrs. Claus came in behind her husband and
looked at the fairies with narrowed eyes. “So you’re the ones who
have been putting prune juice in my husband’s hot chocolate. Sugar
plum fairies are attacking the elves too. What games are you
playing?”

“Reindeer games,” Araedae said quickly.

“Oh yes. Those are the best kind,” Sydae
agreed.

“You picked the wrong evening to irritate
me,” Mrs. Claus said in angry tones. “Broom!” She held out her hand
and a broom suddenly flew in from the other room. It was an old
straw witch’s broom with green and red bows on it. She grabbed it
by the handle and took a fierce swing at the fairies.

Araedae ducked out of the way just in time,
but the broom grazed Sydae and sent her crashing into the nearest
wall where she crashed with a thud and fell to the floor.

“Sydae! No!” Araedae shot a sugar cube from
her wand directly between Mrs. Claus’s eyes. Then she flew down and
took her unconscious friend into her lap. “Sydae! Don’t be hurt! I
need you!”

Mrs. Claus rubbed the bridge of her nose,
and started swinging her broom in a circle like she was a baseball
player going to bat. “I can’t believe you just hit me with a sugar
cube. I’m going to squish you like a bug.”

“Enough!” Santa yelled. “Will someone please
explain to me what’s going on?” He put an arm out to prevent his
wife from hitting the fairies. She turned her angry gaze on him.
“Peace, dear. I would like to know what’s happening.”

“I can explain, Santa,” Zannae said from the
keyboard. “I’ve pulled up the file that proves that the sugar plum
fairies have been bound to do the bidding of the elves.” She
pointed at the screen.


What?
” both of the Clauses said in
surprise. They bent over the computer and peered at the monitor
together.

Zannae explained. “The picture on the left
is the contract the elves had us sugar plum fairies sign. The
picture on the right is the binding spell that the elves put into
the contract so that we can never change the terms. They can change
it all they want, but we can’t and it’s a terrible contract!”

“That’s right,” the irritating voice of
Jarlen the elf came from the doorway. Everyone turned as he walked
into the office. “You’re just a bunch of fairies, so you have to do
what we tell you.” He had a bright red spot between the eyes where
the sugar cubes had hit him. It was a little known fact that sugar
plum fairies were
excellent
shots.

“Here now, you go too far!” Santa protested.
“You elves were right to stand up for yourselves when working
conditions were bad, but the Elf’s Union has become corrupt and
greedy.”

Jarlen sneered. “Whatever, Santa. Isn’t it
about time you got in your sleigh and got going on your
deliveries?”

Sydae had woken up by that point and Araedae
helped her stand on her feet. Turning to Santa, Araedae asked, “Did
you know about the enchantment on the contract, Santa?”

He looked down at the fairies and shook his
head sadly. “No, pretty little fairy. I did not know. I have that
computer, but only use it to play solitaire. Jarlen keeps track of
all the legal paperwork. Please forgive me for the oversight.”

“It doesn’t matter. No one’s changing the
contract,” Jarlen said with a smirk. “The sugar plum fairies need
to go back to dancing and you need to visit the good little boys
and girls, Santa. Oof!” The last word came when Mrs. Claus whacked
him in the side of the face with her broom, slamming him into the
door, where he fell unconscious again.

“That’ll be enough of that!” Santa’s wife
said. Everyone looked at her in amazement. “I wish I had known
about this enchantment earlier. I’d have done something about it
sooner.” She turned to Zannae. “Can you print that binding spell
out?” Zannae nodded and did so quickly. Mrs. Claus picked the paper
up off the printer and set it on the table. “Everyone be quiet
while I fix this.”

They watched as Mrs. Claus began an
incantation. Her voice took on an eerie quality and her hands began
to glow as she moved them around gracefully above the paper. The
designs on the paper glowed the same colors that her hands did.
Suddenly, the paper burst into red and green flames. A moment
later, it disintegrated.

“It’s done. The sugar plum fairies are no
longer bound to their contract,” Mrs. Claus declared. She wiped
sweat off her forehead and leaned on the table tiredly.

“That was a great deal of magic you’ve used,
dear,” Santa said as he went over and took her into his arms.

“We’re free!” Araedae declared triumphantly.
All three fairies flew up into the air and met in a spinning hug.
“No more skimpy outfits in the snow!”

“You mean you don’t
want
to wear
those outfits?” Mrs. Claus asked wearily from her husband’s
arms.

“No!” Araedae answered emphatically. “We
have to because of that stupid contract. We have to dance all
winter without any breaks. The cold and snow gives us
sugarbumps.”

“Sugarbumps?” Santa asked. “Do you mean
goosebumps?”

“No, we’re fairies. Goosebumps would be too
big for us and that’s a silly name anyway,” Zannae pointed out.
“We’re sugar plum fairies, so we get sugarbumps.”

“Well I suppose that makes sense,” Santa
replied. “I want to tell you again how sorry I am. I didn’t realize
the elves had made such a terrible contract and bound you to it.
Let’s take care of it right away and then I have presents to
deliver! Ho, ho, ho!”

Another Sugar Plum Fairy zipped in suddenly.
“Araedae! We’re out of sugar plums and I don’t think we can hold
off the elves anymore!”

“Call off the attack! We succeeded!” Araedae
declared triumphantly.

The newcomer did a spin in the air.
“Woohoo!” Then she zipped off just as fast as she had come in.

“Attack?” Santa asked with a raised
eyebrow.

“It’s alright, dear. They got the elves
messy with plum juice and knocked a few out with sugar cubes,” Mrs.
Claus explained. “Now, little fairies, what are your demands?”

Araedae ticked off the list on her fingers.
“Sugar Plum fairies are to get paid in chocolate from now on. We
weren’t getting paid at all, you know.”

“I did not know that. Shameful,” Santa
replied with a shake of his head.

“Each of us will get a spa day every other
week.” Araedae knew they wouldn’t go for that, but they had to make
at least one outrageous request so the other side could bargain.
“From now on, we get to wear age-appropriate fur coats and
leggings.”

“But we get to keep the tutus and stockings.
Sometimes fairies like dressing up super cute,” Sydae
interjected.

Araedae nodded. “Yes, definitely. Also, we
want hot chocolate breaks a few times a day. But most importantly,
we don’t want to have to spend all winter at the North Pole
anymore. Sugar Plum Fairies like warm climates with no snow.”

“Those are all very reasonable requests,”
Santa said with a nod. “I agree.”

“The spa days every other week are
not
reasonable,” Mrs. Claus said, putting her hands on her
hips.

“You should give Mrs. Claus a spa day every
week!” Zannae suggested. The other two sugar plum fairies nodded
vigorously.

“You are absolutely right,” Santa said with
a smile. “And a spa day every week for my wonderful wife.” He
kissed her on the cheek, and she blushed becomingly.

Santa went to the table, wiggled his fingers
and made three pieces of paper appear. They had North Pole
letterhead at the top and candy cane borders. He took a quill and
quickly moved it over the center paper without touching it. Words
magically appeared in green ink on all three papers. When he was
done, he signed his name on one of the signature lines, causing his
signature to appear on all three pages. “Here you are: a contract
agreeing to all your requests. Just sign at the bottom.”

Zannae zipped over and fluttered above the
papers for a moment, before nodding. “They look good, Araedae.”

Araedae waved her wand over the line for her
signature. Her name appeared in vibrant purple plum ink on all
three contracts at the same time. “There. It’s done.”

“Excellent! Now I have a sleigh to catch and
toys to deliver!” Santa exclaimed. He put on his jacket, which had
been hanging on a hook near the door. Mrs. Claus gave him a brush
and told him to tidy his hair and beard in the sleigh. As the jolly
old man headed down the stairs, they heard him exclaim. “Ho, ho,
ho!”

“Why don’t you invite all your friends in
for hot chocolate and spice cake,” Mrs. Claus suggested. “We can
have it in the ballroom. There’s plenty of space there for all of
us. The elves can clean up the mess outside.”

“Oh yes! We’d love that,” Araedae agreed,
with nods from the other two. They followed Mrs. Claus past the
unconscious body of Jarlen the elf, down the stairs and into the
ballroom. The rest of the fairies joined them and they all
thoroughly enjoyed wonderful hot chocolate and the best spice cake
in the world. From that point on, the sugar plum fairies only wore
the skimpy outfits when they wanted to and every fairy made certain
to take advantage of their spa day every other week.

 

The End

 

###

 

 

About the
Author

 

John H. Carroll was the youngest of seven
children and was born in Atlanta, Georgia in 1970 where he was kept
in a dresser drawer with the clean socks. Luckily, he wasn’t kept
with the dirty socks or else he might have grown up to become
slightly warped.

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