Color Me Blind (A Divine Love Story Book 1) (39 page)

She needed to take a break.  She checked her watch and realized they only had thirty
minutes left in their session but she was willing to stay for however long it took.

She cleared her throat again and said, “Why don’t we take another break guys.  What do you say we meet back here in 20 minutes?  Let’s
not be concerned with the time. It isn’t a factor.” 

She excused herself from the room.
  Frank sat down on the floor right where he was.  He brought his knees up to his chest, hung his head and cried for everything he had been holding on to for over fifty years.  Lisa sat beside him not believing there were any words she could utter to him to make either of them feel better.  So she did the next best thing.  She sat there with her husband and cried with him. 

Justin pulled Vanessa out of the room and said, “Let’s give them their privacy.” 

Vanessa nodded still stunned.  Her heart was shattered and it was sad.  No one, let alone a child, should ever be forced to do something so unspeakable.  Jasmine held Blake’s hand having no clue what she could possibly say to him.  She was having a war within herself.  She was so grateful to finally understand why and how Frank could have hated her for so long but the explanation was even worse than his acts.  She needed time to process it. 

She whispered to Blake, “Can we step outside.” 

His body registered his response by standing up and being led out by her hand but he was on auto pilot.  He was so broken knowing what had taken place in his own blood line.  How could he look his child in the eye and tell them about their family history.  He knew their kid would face additional challenges because of its mixed heritage but how would the kid feel if he knew that one side of his family tree slaughtered a representation of the other half of the tree.

They stood just outside the door where the session was held.  Jasmine seemed to be h
andling this better than he was.

She
asked, “You okay?” 

He shook his head and pulled her into him.  He was grateful that her hair had
begun to grow back and was just a shorter version of her wild curls.  Burying his face in her curls felt so normal and grounded him just a little bit.  She held on to him tight trying to absorb his pain.  She knew it would take some time to get through this.

∞∞∞

Pacing in her office Sheridan was struggling to hold it together.  She herself had never been a fan of white people.  She never treated them unfairly.  She just didn’t really care for them as a whole knowing all of the injustices they seemed so heartlessly willing to participate in, even in this present day. 

The ironic part is that God had saw fit to give her a black man that had been raised by white people.  It had taken some time but
, his parents had found a solid place in her heart and she loved his family dearly.  She never considered herself anti-white just pro-black and she didn’t think that they were synonymous. 

She was struggling hard
with her current clients because she never cared for interracial relationships.  Be it a black man or a black woman she didn’t care.  She had a problem with the separation of the black family. 

She shocked herself by taking on Jasmine’s case
, but it was something so sincere and real in her voice the way she pled for help to keep her family together.  Listening to the way Jasmine talked about Blake and all they had gone through to be together softened her heart and forced her to widen her perception. 

Seeing them together was a sight to behold. 
They weren’t like so many other interracial couples she’d seen where one seemed to be pretending they were the other race.  That annoyed her to no end.  Blake was just your average white guy and Jasmine was your average sista.  They weren’t pretending to be something they were not. They were just simply in love.  They seemed to actually be one person.  They epitomized the phrase, “the two shall become one.” 

They were so in tune to each other it was
remarkable to watch.  There was an intimacy they shared in their marriage that crossed every color line and she found herself falling in love with the purity of their relationship.  Watching the way he’d anticipated what would hurt her and how he was right there to hug or stroke or kiss away the pain she was feeling. 

She noticed
how her hand would blindly reach for his whenever something was too much for her to handle and his hand was always right there waiting on hers. She noted the way Jasmine so passionately protected him while at the same time still allowed him to lead her.  It was like they could feel each other’s needs and respond before the need was even expressed.  She counted it a blessing to be able to witness it.

She recognized the spiritual battle they
had to endure to get to this day of healing and forgiveness in their family.  She recognized how the enemy had used fear and racism to stunt the progress of their love that had the power to heal so many.  Jasmine told her they wanted to start their family but were afraid of what they were bringing the child into. 

They were prepared to deal with the outside world and
its prejudices but they didn’t want it to come from within.  Knowing what Vanessa experienced at the hands of a man she trusted was bad enough, but then hearing Frank’s confession had pushed her past her limits.  This family and all their secrets were forcing her to deal with her own prejudices and perceptions.

I
f it wasn’t for the love of their children Frank and Vanessa might have gone their entire lives with those horrible burdens.  The psychologist in her was excited and encouraged with the opportunity to work with them, but the black woman in her was none too thrilled about the rape, the hanging or the interracial marriage. 

What did that say about her?
  These people had valid understandable reasons for their seeds of hate that were planted but she couldn’t say she had ever been through anything personally with anyone of another race to warrant her dislike of them. 

In the middle of her floor she kneeled,
“Dear Heavenly Father, I need Your help like never before.  I need Your help right now in this very moment.  I know You brought them to me specifically so that means that I can handle this, but I don’t see how at the moment.  I need You to guide my tongue and deal with me to rid myself of ill feelings I carry for people I don’t even know because they look different than me.  I can see Your hand in this Father, in my life and in each of theirs.  Help me to guide them to a healing that will last and expand into other lives.  Please forgive me of my sin and the resentment I hold in my heart.  Thank You for opening up my view point to realize I need to discern each individual tree by the fruit that it bears and not unfairly assume anything about others I don’t even know.  Thank You for softening my heart. I give You all the praise and the glory, in Jesus name.  Amen.”

Sheridan waited there patiently listening for God to tell her what to do and how to handle this situation.  She sat in silence
on the floor for about ten minutes meditating on what God was placing in her heart.  She got up, cleaned her face and straightened out her suit.  She took a look in the mirror and headed back to the session.

When Sheridan strolled into the session everyone was
relatively composed and sitting in their assigned seats.  Her stroll was confident and she was back in control. 

She took her seat and said, “Let me apologize once again for my emotional response but I’m human too and I don’t think anyone could hear a story like that and not be affected.  However
, I would like to say I’m sorry.” 

Frank said, “It’s okay, really I understand.” 

“Thank you.”

Sheridan looked arou
nd the room at the solemn faces.  She was ready to share with them what their next steps should be. 

She began, “Does anyone have anything to say before I get to my recommendations?” 

Lisa raised her hand and spoke to her husband, “Baby I am so sorry that you had to endure such a horrific experience, but I’ll always be here for you and with you no matter what.  I love you.” 

Frank hugged and kissed his wife passionately shocking
everyone by his very intimate public display of affection.  Blake had never seen his parents do more than peck in his presence growing up and even in adulthood.  It was a beautiful thing to see.  Jasmine squeezed his hand understanding exactly what this moment did for him.

Sheridan began, “Anyone else?” 

No one responded.

“Okay so moving on.
Vanessa let’s deal with you first.  You must recognize the love that Blake has shown to your daughter and realize that it is sincere and without prejudice.  You must have had some type of affection for him in order for him to have still been in her life.  I’m sure it would have been much easier to separate them as children than now.  You have to work on seeing Blake and Frank for how they are now, for who they are to you and your family.  From this moment on the past is the past and you are letting it go.”

Vanessa nodded. 

Sheridan continued, “One thing I want you to do and this is something you can do with Lisa and Jasmine.  I want the three of you to go to a spa.  Spend the whole day being pampered and spoiled and enjoying being a woman.  Get your toes, nails, hair and make-up done and go out somewhere where you can be seen.” 

Vanessa squirmed a bit and made Sheridan smile. 

She continued, “Trust me. It’s going to be okay.  For you Justin, I want you to take your wife on a shopping spree.  Buy her all the kinds of outfits you’ve wanted to see her in but never put much emphasis on.” 

Justin smiled and Vanessa looked petrified. 

Sheridan laughed, “It’s okay Vanessa because what I want you to do is wear the clothes at home on dates with your hubby until you feel comfortable enough to go out.  Then when she does Justin I want you to take her out and wine and dine her at least once a month.  Show her the rewards of embracing her femininity from the man she trusts the most.  Vanessa, what you should understand is that even though you were blessed to have a husband who was very understanding and very supportive he had to deny himself some very basic pleasures as your man and your husband.  It’s only natural for him to want to see you that way.  Now don’t panic, this is a process.  You shouldn’t rush into it but at least once a week really try to embrace something new and look forward to experiencing being a newlywed all over again.”

Sheridan winked at her mischievously.
 

Vanessa like
d the sound of that.  If she was honest she was always intimidated by women who could embrace their beauty and show it with such confidence.  She knew she was beautiful and she knew her body was well in shape.  She didn’t want that sorry excuse for a man to have power over her life anymore.  She wanted to finally overcome it all and be who she was meant to be.  She wanted to show her husband how much his patience had meant to her.  She leaned over and whispered something to her husband that had his very brown face show a tint of red. Vanessa smiled a very wicked grin and focused back on Sheridan.

Sheridan laughed and said, “Now for the healing.” 

She handed Vanessa a list that her assistant had printed out. 

“Here is a list of rape counseling centers in your area.  One of the ways for you to heal is to share your story with others who have been through it and showing them that there is life on the other side of this horrible experience.” 

Vanessa’s eyes popped out, “I don’t think I can do that.” 

“I think you can.  Look at what you’ve overcome in spite of what happened to you.  Someone else needs to hear that.  We don’t always understand why we go through the things that we do but God can turn it out for good.  What if you’re the person that talks a rape victim out of
suicide?  What if a young girl needs to hear your story in order to decide to keep following her dreams and become who God created her to be?” 

Vanessa nodded.  S
he had never thought what happened to her could help someone else but she was beginning to believe that she could do that. 

She s
aid, “Okay I’ll give it a try.”

Sheridan looked at Frank and let out a breath. 

He laughed and asked, “So doc, what’d you come up with for me?”

She smiled and said, “Well now Frank I have to say I am just so proud of you for coming in here and sharing such a deep dark secret to help your family heal.  I want you to
remember that courage and strength that you found within yourself to be able to release that burden.  Now for you I’m not sure if telling people about your past experience is going to help you because people as a whole can be unforgiving and judgmental.  So use your discretion and the direction of the Holy Spirit before revealing it.  You have a beautiful family and I know they will always have your back.”

They all nodded in agreement letting Frank know
he had their support.  The weights that fell off of him felt miraculous.  He took a moment to let his emotions show as Lisa rubbed his back.  Everyone was silent and afforded him this time.  After a few minutes he looked into Sheridan’s warm brown eyes.

She smiled and said
, “Frank I know you feel guilty.  The truth is you have no reason to but I know changing your mind is easier said than done.  What I want you to do is volunteer your time with urban at-risk teens and become a mentor.  Now of course all of them won’t be black teens but most will likely be minorities.  There will of course be some white ones but this isn’t about race.  Contrary to what you think, this is about knowing and accepting all kinds of people for who they are especially if they are different from you.  This task is meant to expand your view of the world.  To learn and empathize with the life experiences of other people you don’t know.  Just by sharing with them the obvious compassion you have inside of you, you can change the course of their lives.”

He looked at her like he didn’t quite understand. 

She said, “Oh yes you have plenty of compassion inside of you, that’s why it hurt you so deep being forced to do what you did.  I want you to find that compassion again and use it to help those whose lives have been hard and unfair to help them find a reason to believe in themselves and a future that is far removed from their past.  They too are trying to cope with things forced on them that were out of their control.  Don’t be afraid to share your diverse family with them.  In doing this they will be more likely to trust you.  Through you it can change their perception of the big bad white man.  So many minorities are taught to blame white people for the hand they’ve been dealt.  Now I will be the first to say I have and can see the injustices but it cannot define a person or be an excuse not to prevail and become who God created them to be.  This country’s racial divide has got to be healed, but we will do it one person at a time.”

Frank let out a breath and said, “Well I just recently became a people person but I will give it a try.  After what Jasmine did for me I have wanted to return the favor to someone else. 
I believe they call it paying it forward to do something selfless for someone else because you never know if that will be the one thing that changes their lives forever.”

“I also feel that it would be good for you to try and locate your friend Beth to bring closure to both you and her.  It’s going to be really hard for you to forgive yourself but in doing this you can free yourself from the burden of not being there for her.  If she is still alive I’m sure she has many questions about that horrible night that you could answer for her.  I believe that it would bring you closure as well.  I know that would open up a whole new can of worms so definitely pray about
it and if there is anything I can do to help I’m more than willing.”

Frank let that marinate for a while.  It was actually something he’d thought about several times but he just di
dn’t know where it would lead. 

He said, “Okay doc, I’ll give it some thought and some prayers.”

Sheridan handed him a list of agencies that were in need of volunteers in his city. 

She smiled and said, “This has been one of the most
incredible sessions I have ever had.  This family has forever changed my life for the better.  Thank you so much for allowing me in your lives.  I almost hate that our time has to come to an end.”

They all laughed as they each stood up.  Sheridan looked at Jasmine and Blake and asked, “Isn’t there something else you two would like to share before we leave.” 

She gave them a knowing smile and Jasmine’s mouth fell open.  

She asked, “How did you know?” 

Sheridan just shrugged. 

L
isa and Vanessa were all smiles.

Justin asked, “Well what is it?” 

Blake said, “Jasmine and I have an amazing reason for this family to stay close and connected.  We’re having a baby!”

Frank’s eyes got huge as he just stared at his son and new daughter.  The joy he felt in his heart was both shocking and comforting.  Justin in a very rare show of emotion shed a few tears as he embraced his daughter and then Blake.  There were lots of hugs and tear
s. 

Sheridan said, “Now Jasmine I need you to recognize the second chance that God has given you.  With the birth of this child you need to finally let go of your first born.  That child is in God’s hands now.  Do not allow your past to keep you from embracing your future entirely.”

Jasmine smiled and nodded.

“Blake,” Sheridan said, “Make sure she doesn’t regress.  You guys have your whole lives ahead of you and that’s plenty to focus on.  I also want you not to let what your father revealed keep you from building that relationship okay.”

He nodded intrigued that she could see the resistance in him.  But she was right their future was bright.  There was no point in letting the past cast a shadow over it.  Sheridan counted herself blessed to be able to have a front row seat to the healing and miraculous power of the awesome God she served.