Come Alive (6 page)

“Yes.” I’d had a bite, so it wasn’t a lie. My
stomach was far too distressed for something so sweet, though.

“Good. Let’s get the hell out of these clothes,”
he said, resting his hand on my upper back and leading me up the steps.

“I’ll be right up,” Lucy called loudly.

Bill laughed and shook his head. “She’s wasted.”

“Was it fun being a groomsman?”

“Yeah, actually. I didn’t think I would like it,
but I had a good time.”

When we entered the house, I searched furtively
for David or
Dani
, but neither was in sight. I
groaned inwardly. Was this really happening? Maybe tonight he would finally make
his move.
She’d be thrilled about it
,
I thought bitterly. But could I really blame her?
Just let it go. Let him be happy. Isn’t that what I want ultimately?
For everyone to just be happy, myself included?
I nodded.

CHAPTER 6

BILL’S
HAND SLID DOWN my shoulder. With a quick kiss, he pulled softly on my dress
strap until it fell. I stood watching him as he backed away and undressed.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing.” I pulled my dress off the rest of the
way and tried to shake David’s lingering touch from my back. I tugged Bill by
the waistband of his boxers, and he stumbled to me.

His lips found mine with a deeper kiss. I
grabbed his hand roughly and put it around me, trying to erase any hint of
David. I recognized the softness of his tongue and the smell of his soap, but the
kiss was flat. My hair came free when I pulled on it, and he brushed it from my
neck. Behind closed eyes, I remembered David’s expansive hand sliding down to
my lower back, his fingertips alone driving me wild. I moaned into Bill’s mouth,
and he became instantly hard.

I scolded myself. I needed to forget David and
to remember what Bill felt like. I had done this to us, and now I had to make
things right. Or had we always been this way? I dashed away the thought and
fell back on the bed, splaying out my arms. “Come on, Bill,” I said gruffly. I
arched my back, offering my breasts. “Fuck me.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” I said. When he didn’t move, I
huffed and sat up to grab his arm. “Get over here.”

He aligned himself with the edge of the bed, and
I wrapped my legs around him.
Replace the
memories, Bill. Now. Let’s make it right. Now, now, now
–

“The other night you said – ”

“I don’t care what I said, just do it.” I needed
him to take me because he couldn’t resist me another moment, because he was
overcome with desire. I squirmed on the bed as I fought off the memory of David
cornering me in the stairwell and proving
that he couldn’t,
wouldn’t, wait another second
.

“Okay.” Tentatively, he moved my thong aside and
pulled down his boxers. He ran his hand over himself once and licked his
fingers before touching me.

“Yes,” I moaned loudly.

He bent his knees and entered me slowly.

“Oh, yes, Bill, come on.” I bucked my hips and
used my heels to urge him deeper, trying to recapture the insatiable need that
I’d felt with David. He grimaced. “What?” I asked.

His
chest deflated with a loud
exhale
. “Nothing.”

It wasn’t
nothing.
He
was still holding the base of his penis, but I felt him softening inside of me.
“You can’t . .
. ?
”

“I had a lot to drink,” he snapped. “And you’re
. . . yelling at me,” he said as he pumped his fist over himself.

“Do you need help?” I sat up and reached out,
but he pulled back.

“Don’t.”

“Okay.”

“And stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I can’t get it up.”

I searched for something else to look at,
because I didn’t think I could not look at him that way. After a few moments, I
sighed. “It’s fine, babe, let’s go see what the others are doing. We can try
again later.”

“No, I can do it,” he said, panting.

I slid off the bed and kissed his shoulder.
“It’s no big deal.” I was secretly relieved. Seeing David again had freshened the
memories. It was unfair that I’d be thinking about him instead of Bill.

I pulled on my striped pajama shorts and
matching camisole before yanking a brush through my tangled hair.

Bill groaned behind me. “I can’t fucking believe
this,” he uttered, squatting to rummage in his suitcase.

“Babe, it happens. Don’t worry. Lucy said it
happened to Andrew a few weeks ago.”

“What?” he exclaimed. “I did not need to know
that.”

“Um, don’t repeat that, seriously.”

“What am I going to say, ‘Hey, dude, heard you
can’t get it up either?’”

“You’re fine. One time does not mean anything.
Come on, get dressed.” When my hair was in a presentable state, I wrapped
myself in the red robe Lucy had given us.

Bill was close behind as I padded down the
stairs. We found the group seated around the fire, surrounded by glasses of
wine and bottles of beer.

“Where have you two been?”
Dani
asked, arching an eyebrow in our direction. David sat barefoot and cross-legged
on the floor next to her in a pajama set that looked small. He looked like a
Greek statue, eerily still as he stared into the fire.

“Just changing,” I said quickly, and Bill shot
me a glance.

“Liar,”
Dani
chimed. “We’ve
been down here for twenty minutes already.”

“I need a beer,” I muttered, leaving to the
kitchen.

“Bring a few,” Andrew called after me. I loaded
up my arms and returned to the room to distribute drinks. I had one extra, so I
offered it to David, who accepted it without looking up.

“We were just telling Lucy that if she gets
knocked up, she might have to move to the ‘burbs,” Gretchen said as I settled by
Bill’s feet against the base of the couch.

Lucy groaned and fell over onto Andrew’s lap.
“You won’t make me do that, will you?”

Andrew just burped into his fist and shrugged.
“Everyone’s doing it.”

“Truth,” Bill said, patting my head. “
Liv
and I looked at a real fixer-upper in Oak Park on
Friday.”

David sputtered suddenly and coughed into his
hand.
Dani
patted his back softly while he cleared
his throat.

“What’s it like?” Gretchen asked.

I closed my eyes and envisioned the house. “It’s
really . . . amazing.”

“Well,” Bill chortled, “I’m not sure ‘amazing’
is the right word.”

I opened my eyes, and the image evaporated. “It’s
not, you’re right. It’s a mess, but it has this really charming aura that sort of
encompasses you when you’re near it.”

“That sounds nice,” Lucy said sleepily.

“It’s not bad,” Bill said. “It needs a lot of
work before it’ll be on par with the rest of the neighborhood, though.”

“Honey,” I said quietly. “I don’t want it to
look like the rest of the neighborhood. Those homes are so generic.”

“Okay, okay. It’s a little early yet, babe.”

“Anyway,” I said to the group, “we aren’t sure
we can even afford to take on a project like that. That’s what we’re trying to
figure out.”

Andrew was looking off into the distance,
stroking Lucy’s hair when he perked up suddenly. “Have David look at it.”

“What?” David and I asked in unison.

“Isn’t this, like, your thing, dude?”

“Well, uh,” he stammered.

“What do you do, David?” Bill asked.

“I’m an architect.”

“But he flips houses too,” Andrew offered.

“It’s not even really for sale,” I interjected.
“The owners are just letting us see it.”

“I remember now,” Bill said thoughtfully. “Andrew
mentioned that before. It would mean a lot if you could check it out, give me an
idea as to how much it would cost.”

David cleared his throat again and looked down
into his beer bottle.

“Honey, David’s at the top of his field. He’s
probably really busy.”

“Dave, what do you say?” Andrew asked. “Help out
a friend? Bill’s a lawyer. Maybe you can swap expertise.”

“I have a lawyer,” he replied sternly as he obviously
avoided my pleading stare. When everyone remained quiet, he swallowed loudly. “But
sure,” he said. “Maybe.”

“Cool.” Bill nudged me with his foot. “There you
go, babe. We’re
gettin
’ things done.” I nodded
downward and picked at the label on my bottle.

“Do you still want to play that board game,
Luce?” Gretchen asked.

“Hmm?”

Andrew put his finger over his lips and rolled
his eyes.
He mouthed
,
She’s sleeping
.

“So much for wedding night sex,”
Dani
said under her breath, and everyone laughed. I caught
her lusty glance at David and inadvertently ripped the label from the bottle.

“I’m tired too,” I said suddenly, getting up.

“Oh, okay.” Bill went to stand.

“No, honey, it’s fine. Have fun.” I waved at him
to stay seated, and he fell back on the couch. “Goodnight everyone.”

I rubbed the end of my nose and sniffed as I
ascended the stairs.
Shit
. If they
were going to sleep together, I definitely didn’t want it flaunted in my face.
I had enough to deal with as it was.

When Bill returned to the room, I feigned sleep.
I smelled cigars on his breath as he climbed in and kissed me on the cheek. I gripped
my pillow and willed away my insomnia.

I
wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I finally got out of bed and went to
sit in the bay window. Drawing my knees to my bare chest, I looked over at Bill
in the faint moonlight. He snorted and flipped onto his back. I looked out the
window at the backyard. It was still and peaceful, opposite from the bustling
city I was used to. Even in that perfect stillness, I was having trouble
sleeping.

Who
was I kidding? It wouldn’t have mattered where I was. David and Bill in the
same house had my mind buzzing. David said he’d come to the wedding to see me.
But why?
Why make things harder than they already were? And
he looked so handsome. He possessed every woman within proximity. Why did he
have to be so damn irresistible?
So exceptionally gorgeous in
his urbane tuxedo?

I
scanned the lawn below. And why did he hold a permanent place in my thoughts?

Bill
coughed, and I looked back at him. “Come back to bed,” he mumbled.

I
nodded, but I didn’t move. When his breathing evened again, I stood and fumbled
for my robe in the dark. I slipped into the hallway and ran a hand through my
hair before tiptoeing downstairs.

There
was a soft, single light on in the kitchen. I hesitated. I looked back over my
shoulder and then again at the doorway. My heart caught on quickly to what my
brain already knew: in that kitchen I would find David.

CHAPTER 7

SOMETHING
DARK FILLED the shallow glass in David’s hand. He looked up at me with hooded
eyes as he leaned casually against the counter.

I
remained in the doorway a moment as we stared at each other. “Water,” I said
finally.

He
straightened and grabbed a glass from behind his head. I entered the kitchen
and went to take it from him, but he turned and opened the refrigerator.

“Can’t
sleep?” I asked while he retrieved a pitcher.

“Not
at all.”

I
glared at him while he filled my glass. When he’d finished, he handed it to me
and set the pitcher on the island behind me. “What?” he asked.

“Because
of
Dani
?”

“Oh
. . . No. I just have a lot on my mind.” He resumed his stance against the
counter opposite me.

“So
you didn’t . . . with her?”

“I
have my own room.”

“Hm.”
The water was cold and soothing as I sipped it.

“What
about you?”

“I
can’t sleep either.”

“Why
not?”

I
set the glass down and looked away. “I guess I have a lot on my mind.” I
sighed. “I’m not really used to the peace and quiet.”

“I
know what you mean. I sleep better in the city.”

I
nodded and looked back at him. “That was nice of you to fly back early for the
wedding. I’m sure it made
Dani
happy.”

“Like
I told you earlier – I didn’t do it for her.”

I
crossed my arms and played with the tie of my robe until the silence became
awkward. “It’s been a while since we were, like, alone together,” I said
softly. “I guess.”

“Fifteen
weeks.” He shrugged. “But who’s counting?”

He
looked too good for three in the morning, reclined against the counter. His
dark hair was soft, no longer perfect, as though he’d showered since the
ceremony. My fingers tingled with the urge to touch it. His t-shirt was tight
over his broad shoulders, and he wore drawstring navy and green tartan pants. I
struggled for something to say, not trusting my disobedient thoughts. “So you
took a job out of town, I heard.”

He
nodded. “Yes. I’m here half the week to finish up the hotel and in New York
through the weekends. I needed the distraction.”

“From
what?”

He
hesitated. “Life.”

I
waited for him to continue. When he didn’t, I said, “Sounds like you’ve been
busy.”

“You
as well. Congratulations on your promotion.”

“How
did you know?”

“I
just know.”

“I
see.”

“What
I didn’t know is how much weight you’ve lost. It’s upsetting. It concerns me.”

“Does
it?”

“Yes,
of course. Your well-being is – I mean, it’s your health, Olivia.”

I
looked out the window over the sink. “Have you heard anything from
Cooper
about Mark Alvarez?” I asked.

“The
piece of shit knows he’s guilty for attacking you, so he took a plea bargain.”

I
widened my eyes. “Oh. Nobody told me.”

During
waking hours, I actively avoided thinking about the encounter, but as I slept,
my mind refused to let it go. The memory that haunted my nightmares flashed
before my eyes: Mark chasing me into an empty alley, laughing as he pinned my
front against a wall. He hissed in my ear that Bill would pay for what he’d
done – prosecuting Mark’s brother in a trial that would land him behind
bars for a decade.
And then, relief when David had come to my
rescue, detaining Mark until the police arrived.

“We
don’t have to testify,” David continued. “There won’t be a trial. Basically he
won’t serve as much time, but he’s still going to prison for a while.”

“So
I don’t need to worry anymore?”

He
cocked his head. “Have you been worried?”

“Yes,”
I said softly.

“Don’t.
I’m looking out for you.”

“How
can you be? You’re not around.”

He
shifted against the counter. “I know. I meant you would have heard from me if I’d
thought you were in danger.”

“Oh.”

“You
know, the night in the alley, it was fortuitous that I was there. But the truth
is, I had started driving by your office on my way home. I still do.”

“David.”
It was a warning. I felt more comforted by his confession than I should, as if
him driving by each night would keep anything bad away. Little did he know that
my demons were on the inside, where nobody could save
me.

He
nodded and looked away. I picked up my glass and took a drink, waiting for his
gaze to find me again. But it didn’t.

“You’re
looking for a house,” he said flatly. I wasn’t sure if he’d meant it as a
question, so I just nodded. His laugh was empty as he shook his head at the
floor.

“And
you’re dating
Dani
.”

His
chest rose with a deep inhalation. “Not exactly.”

I
pursed my lips. “She seems to think so.”

“We’ve
been out a few times at Lucy’s insistence,” he said, pulling at his chin.

“You’re
here together.”

He
looked at me again. “I was invited before I even met her.” I responded with a
pointed look of skepticism, and his lips pressed together. “I suppose, in a
sense, we are dating.”

“Did
it ever occur to you how that might make me feel?”

“You
don’t exactly get a say, honeybee.”

My
grip tightened around my glass.
Honeybee.
The hazy
postcoital
glow from our one night washed
over me. “Don’t call me that.”

“Don’t
like it?” he teased.

“I
love it.”

His
smile faltered marginally. After a moment, he took a measured step toward me. I
pulled my robe closer as my heart skipped. Two more steps, and his
ever-imposing frame
was
filling the space around me.
The smell of liquor burned my nostrils as his gaze flitted down to me. “I’m
serious about this shit,” he whispered, tugging at the opening of my robe. “Start
taking better care of yourself, or it’s going to piss me off.”

“You
don’t get a say,” I echoed. I held his gaze, but I could still see my breasts
heaving with each breath.

“So
this is it?” he asked. “Everybody just moves on?
We
just move on?”

I
cocked my head. Isn’t that what we’d been doing?

“Olivia?”
My heart dropped as David took a controlled step back. Bill, in sagging boxers
and a t-shirt, stood in the doorway. He looked between us briefly and rubbed
his eyes. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Just,”
I croaked and cleared my throat.

“She
needed water,” David said for me. He lifted the pitcher in Bill’s direction and
took my glass from the counter. Streaming water filled the silence as he topped
off my drink. Bill shifted on his feet. Long seconds ticked by until David
calmly handed me the cup. I accepted it and walked toward Bill without looking back.
“Let’s go to bed,” I told him.

He
nodded at David and followed me from the kitchen. “How do you know him again?”
Bill asked when we were out of earshot.

“Through
Lucy. He was the one who helped me with Mark Alvarez. I never followed up so he
was just updating me.”

“Oh.”
He turned to look over his shoulder, and I quickly released the breath I’d been
holding. “Maybe I should say thanks,” Bill said.

“No,”
I said under my breath. “You shouldn’t.”

~

Tables were
set up under the arches of a covered patio, replete with carafes of orange
juice, platters of sausage, eggs and bacon and bowls of powdered-sugared fruit.
It was like something from a bridal magazine, if they were to feature the
morning-after festivities.

“
Liv
, grab the champagne?” Lucy asked.

I
entered the kitchen just as David did from the opposite doorway. “Morning,” he
said. He sported a too-small striped polo and high-water khakis. I raised an
eyebrow at his outfit, and he smiled awkwardly. “Andrew’s ‘tall’ brother, as
they keep calling him.”

I
gave a shallow nod and ducked by him to the refrigerator, infuriatingly
conscious of his body heat despite the dopey clothing.

He
cleared his throat. “We didn’t finish our conversation from last night.”

I
yanked open the heavy refrigerator door and searched for the champagne. “I
think we did. The idea is that we move on.”

“Move
on,” he echoed.

“Yep.”

“Olivia.”

I
leaned back to look at him from the other side of the door. We stared at each other
a moment until I started laughing.

His
eyebrows knit as he studied me. “What?”

“I
can’t take you seriously in that outfit.” I turned back to the refrigerator and
grasped the cold bottle of champagne by its neck. When I shut the door, he was at
my side, his lips quirked into a mocking smile.

“You
can’t take me seriously?” he teased. “I have ways of making you.”

He
leaned in to back me against the refrigerator, but I stepped forward under his
nose. I tried to appear calm, even though my heart thudded in my chest. “How?”
I breathed.

“It’s
not really something I can explain.” His gaze fixed on my mouth and proceeded
slowly downward. When his eyes jumped back to mine, he said, “I would have to
show you.”

“Show
me?” My voice was raspier than normal, low. It didn’t matter what he wore; he
was all man, predatory even as he towered over me.

He
leaned in further, and my breath caught. I’d been fidgeting with the cap of the
champagne, and he took it from my hands before straightening up again.

Gretchen’s
head poked through the screen door. “Hurry up,
Liv
,
we need that for the mimosas.” She looked between the two of us.

“We’ll
be right there,” David said without turning around. He twisted the cork, and it
freed with a loud pop.

“Um,
no, everyone is waiting on you.” Gretchen shot him a piercing look. “Come on,
move it,” she barked. She held the door open and ushered an irritated-looking
David through. She grasped my arm as I followed. “Soon. We need to talk.”

“Fine,”
I said, wrenching my arm from her grip.

I
took my place next to Bill and filled my plate with whatever was nearest.

“What
time do you guys leave tonight?” Andrew’s mom asked Lucy.

“Late.
We’re sleeping on the plane so we’ll be fresh for Paris.”

“Ah,
fresh for Paris,”
Dani
mimicked. “Get over yourself.”

“Don’t
be bitter, petite
Dani
,” she said. “Your day will
come.”

Dani
flushed red. “I’ve been to Paris,”
she muttered.

“That’s
not what I meant,” Lucy said pointedly.

I
pushed food around on my plate, tuning the conversation out. I replayed my
exchange with David in my head, suppressing the smile that was trying to break
through. He knew exactly how to draw me in, how to prick the bubble of numbness
I lived in.

My
thoughts wandered to the previous night. So he and
Dani
hadn’t slept together. But that didn’t mean they wouldn’t. It was clear, to me
at least, that she wanted it to happen – didn’t he? Knowing how
persistent he could be, I wondered what was stopping him.

When
I blinked up, David was watching me from across the table.
Eat
, he mouthed, nodding subtly at my plate. I picked up a
strawberry, bit off the end, and licked my lips. His eyes locked on my mouth as
I slowly took another bite and dropped the stem on my plate. He swallowed and stared
hard. I’d become uncomfortably aroused by his words in the kitchen, and it redoubled
from the way he watched me.

I
jumped when Bill placed his hand on my thigh and squeezed softly. He gave me a
reassuring smile.

“And
so,” Lucy was saying, “I wanted to express regret for those who couldn’t be
here to help us celebrate. My aunt and my mother’s sister, Grace, God rest her
soul. As well as Olivia’s mentor and good friend,
Davena
.”
I clenched my teeth and concentrated on steady breathing. Lucy’s face contorted
as tears welled in her eyes. “Two beautiful women who were taken from us too
early.”

She
was crying now, along with her mother, and I just sat motionless.
Emotionless is more like it
. Andrew’s
mother leaned over and whispered as she rubbed Lucy’s back. I inhaled and tried
to wet my eyes as well, but I was drier than Death Valley.
Damn it, Lucy. Why are you bringing
Davena
into this?
The table looked at me with overwhelming sympathy, including
Bill, which bothered me most of all.