Come as You Are (53 page)

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Authors: Emily Nagoski

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———.
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notes

one: anatomy

1.
 Aristotle,
Complete Master-Piece
, 60.
2.
 Drysdale, Russell, and Glover, “Labiaplasty.”
3.
 Moran and Lee, “What’s Normal?”
4.
 The reality of the hymen is finally beginning to be discussed in the mainstream in the form of documentaries like
How to Lose Your Virginity
and the media coverage related to it (Feeney, “Living Myths About Virginity”).
5.
 Hegazy and Al-Rukban, “Hymen: Facts and Conceptions.”
6.
 This was in Talbot House in the fall semester of 2012. Hi, Talbot!
7.
 Not everyone is comfortable with the term “intersex.” Some people prefer “ambiguous genitals,” and there’s currently a movement toward “disorders of sex development” or DSD (see Dreger, “Why ‘Disorders of Sex Development’?”). I use “intersex” here because it feels most appropriate for this nonmedical context.
8.
 As obvious as this idea seems, given the all-the-same-parts framework, it is actually a radical idea that intersex activists have been fighting hard to promote for several decades. It’s the only view that makes biological sense, and again, it’s only from a cultural point of view that anyone could think otherwise. And yet in too many places, standard medical practice is to perform surgery to “normalize” the genitals (Organization Intersex, “Public Statement”). Note that in 2013, the United Nations’ special rapporteur on torture included these surgeries in his “Report on torture and other cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.” The report condemned medically unnecessary “normalizing” surgeries, because “they can cause scarring, loss of sexual sensation, pain, incontinence and lifelong depression and have also been criticized as being unscientific, potentially harmful and contributing to stigma” (United Nations, “Special Report,” 18).
9.
 McDowell, Fryar, Ogden, and Flegal, “Anthropometric Reference Data.”
10.
 “Operation Beautiful” is responsible for this excellent phrase,
www.operationbeautiful.com/
.

two: the dual control model

1.
 Canner,
Orgasm, Inc.
2.
 Bradford and Meston, “Correlates of Placebo Response.”
3.
 Janssen and Bancroft, “The Dual Control Model,” 197.
4.
 Carpenter et al., “Sexual Excitation and Inhibition Profiles.”
5.
 A not-so-sensitive accelerator, on the other hand, regardless of brakes, is one predictor of asexuality—people who don’t desire sexual contact (not “stones”—folks who only want to touch their partners but don’t want to be touched themselves). In the handful of studies on people who identify themselves as asexual, it turns out that they have significantly less accelerator than their sexual counterparts (Prause and Graham, “Asexuality”). There is no difference in their brakes, however. So maybe part of the cause of asexuality as a sexual orientation is that these women’s brains are not prone to noticing sexually relevant stimuli. Of course this is only one part of the story, since asexuals represent only about 1 percent of the general population and about 5 to10 percent of women score as low SES. Again, there’s nothing broken or wrong; asexual people’s sexual response mechanisms are made of all the same stuff as sexual people’s, they’re just organized in a different way.
6.
 Adapted from Milhausen et al., “Validation of the Sexual Excitation/Sexual Inhibition Inventory.”
7.
 Carpenter et al., “Women’s Scores.”
8.
 Mental state impact on sexual interest:
 
Increase (%)
No Change (%)
Decrease (%)
Depression
 
 
 
Men
10
55
35
Women
9.5
40
50
Anxiety
 
 
 
Men
25
58
17
Women
23
57
34

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