Committed to You (17 page)

“A month later, Pipe returned to liking boys. Evie went back to being available, but … both of them kissing when they were high sort of became this normal thing that happened.”

“Did Pipe ever say why?” I asked right as Evie and Pipe approached us.

“Say why to what?” Pipe held a giggling Evie close to him.

“I’m trying to tell her why you and Evie kiss all the time,” Jay offered.

Pipe shrugged. “I don’t know why. Sometimes I’m just around her and need to put my lips on her mouth.” He pulled off his makeshift turban and ran his fingers through his damp hair. “Cyn, you ever been around somebody that you loved so much you just had to consume them?”

My uncle’s face flashed through my head. I cringed. “No.”

“No way. I don’t believe that. You look like you had someone in mind.”

“I didn’t!”

Pipe flinched. “And now this is awkward. Sounds like your answer would be fucked up.”

They all studied my face. Their gazes judged me with pity, or maybe it was all in my head.

“Are we all going to get wasted and party tonight as we ignore the big fat twisted elephant in the room?” Pipe asked.

“Leave it alone, Pipe,” Jay said.

“There’s no elephant in here.” Evie did a big show of scanning the space. “Let’s just continue with the partying.”

“There’s an elephant right here.” Pipe pointed to the floor in front of me. “He’s huge and has really big balls.”

“You’re done drinking.” Jay held out an open hand. “Give me the flask.”

“But—”

“Give it to me, Pipe.”

“Fucking kill joy.” Pipe dove his hands into his pants and pulled out a silver flask with Marylyn Monroe’s face carved on the front. Diamonds served as her pupils. “Here.”

Evie seized my hand. “Let’s dance.”

She pulled me away without waiting for a reply. I checked over my shoulder and spotted Pipe towing an aggravated Jay onto the dance floor. A few guys winked at Jay as he bopped to the new song blasting out of the speakers.

My phones buzzed again. I checked it real quick.

Uncle Kevin:
Just give me a few minutes. Please.

No. You’ve taken enough.

I shut the phone off. Evie twirled me around. “Who was that?”

“Him.”

“The sick bastard?”

“Yes.” I pulled her into me and we swayed together.

“What does he want?” she asked.

“To talk.”

“Don’t.”

“I know.” I sounded much more sure of myself then I really was. Now that Evie was near, I felt stronger and not alone in this fucked up situation. The song’s rhythm slackened into a slower pace, sort of like a melodic interlude.

“You want to talk to him?” Evie asked.

“Yes.” It was getting easier and easier to tell her the truth. In her eyes, judgment or disgust didn’t flow, just concern.

“What would you say if you did talk to him?”

“I would ask if he’s still with my aunt,” I said.

“Why?”

“Because … I wonder if he confessed. I know he probably didn’t, but I wonder if he finally decided to own up to it all.”

“Does it matter?” Evie said into my ears as she held me closer to her. “Would it change anything?”

“No.” I held her closer to me, breathing in her haunting scent. How strange everything had turned out. Evie of all people rushed to my rescue, and with her efforts, everyone else jumped in to save the day.

A slow song came on. A woman sang in a smooth voice about dreams that kept unfolding into intertwined bodies and faces hidden in shadows. Evie wrapped her arms around me. “We’re still roommates. If you ever need me, I’m here.”

“I broke up with Jay.” It came out of nowhere, but I didn’t know if she’d realized it or not. Evie and Jay barely interacted after our roof top dinner. He’d been distant the whole night. “He loves you, and I just got in the middle of you two, because I had to feel—”

“Stop. It doesn’t matter now. I don’t want Jay.”

“What? You love him.”

“I do, but at some point there can be a huge argument for the fact that I love him too much.”

I scrunched my face up in confusion. “So you won’t be with Jay because you love him too much? That’s crazy.”

“It is what it is.”

We swayed together. I checked my right. Jay and Pipe did this ridiculous tango where they crossed the floor and then returned our way.

“They’re goofy.” I gestured their way.

“Yes. They are.” Evie rested her head on my shoulder. “Thank God Pipe prefers guys. I would be crazy in love with him too.”

“You already are. That kiss between you and Pipe was short, but hot.”

She tensed. “It seems I’m big on kissing everybody. I have slutty lips.”

I knew she must’ve been hinting at our kiss. “I think your lips are perfect. You have an extraordinary mouth.”

“Stop it, Cyn.”

“What?”

She lifted her head up and faced me. “I’m not into girls and I doubt you are either.”

“Then what am I into?”

“Being saved.”

I stopped dancing. “What?”

“Come on.” She guided me off of the dance floor. I figured we would be heading to the bar, but we passed it and stepped into a dimly lit hallway with two rows of several booths. I couldn’t see who were in each booth. A few feet stuck out from the openings. Groans sounded. The earthy fragrance of marijuana mingled with cologne.

“What’s going on in here?” I asked.

“Pipe told me this was the make-out section.” She stuck her hand in my pocket and pulled out my phone. “Call him.”

“Excuse me?”

“Call him.” She turned the phone on and handed it to me. “You’re scared and confused. You hooked up with Jay for what? Love? No. Lust? Absolutely not. Jay is a care giver, a protector even. He likes to look out for everyone and at times is as aggravating as a mother hen. That was what drew you to him.”

“Maybe.”

“Not maybe. It’s a big capitalized yes.”

“I do like Jay.”

“Not as much as you think. And here’s my proof. As soon as I came to your rescue, you’re kissing me.”

“I just wanted to,” I countered, not liking where this conversation was going.

“Of course you wanted to, but let’s really think about it.”

“Apparently you’ve been thinking about it,” I huffed.

“I think you reward people with your body.”

“You’re acting like a psyche major.”

“One of my best friends majors in psychology. Maybe she rubbed off on me.” She pointed to the phone. “Call him.”

“Why?”

“Because you want to and will probably do it by yourself, which would be a bad idea being that you looked like a frozen and scared kid last time I saw you in the same room with him. Now call.”

I parted my lips. The phone weighed heavy in my hand. “I do want to talk to him … but … ”

“But you’re scared, so it doesn’t matter, because I’m here, and if he goes too far I’m going to go down there and beat the shit out of him. Dial his number and tell him not to contact you anymore. Enough is enough. Tomorrow we file a report against him.”

I waved my hands in front of me. “I can’t just file a report, and it’s Sunday and—”

“Then on Monday.”

“Monday is the funeral.”

Evie placed her hands on her hips. “Then Tuesday.”

“I-I can’t file a report.” A cold shiver sliced me into two pieces of me. “It’s been forever. No one will believe me. It would ruin him and my mom and my whole family who depends on him and my aunt’s money.”

“Fuck them.” Eve held one finger up. “First rule from now on, Cynthia considers Cynthia. Rule two, what he did is not okay. He doesn’t get to have sex with a little girl and harass her for the rest of her life. Rule number three … ”

“What?”

“I don’t know.” She seized my free hand and squeezed him. “Call him. I’m right here.”

Tears streamed down my face as I shook my head.

“Do it,” Evie ordered.

“I-I can’t.”

“You can.”

“I’m scared.”

“Me too.” She embraced me and held me closer than anyone had ever done in my life. “Stop hiding inside of yourself. Stop giving him control of your life. I’m no head doctor but I know something between you and him must change, because all of this is killing you inside, and that’s not cool.”

My phone buzzed. His name lit up the screen.

Okay. Evie is high, but … maybe she’s right. How can I stop being a fuck-up if I don’t end what is messing me up in the first place?

I pressed the button and placed the phone to my ear. “What?”

“Where are you?” His deep voice traveled through the line and delivered tingling sensations through my body.

“I’m at South Beach.”

“I’ll drive up to see you.”

“No. Don’t come here.”

Evie let me go and backed up. “Oh no. Tell him to come.”

She proceeded to punch the air a few times like some professional fighter shadowboxing in preparation for a big fight.

“Don’t call me anymore,” I said.

“Why did you tell your friend I hurt you?” he asked. “She was calling
me
the molester right?”

“Yes.” The word was a shiver, my nerves slippery liquid forms of themselves.

“I didn’t molest you.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Is that really what you think of our love, pain?”

“Yes. Pain. Damage. All of that. Don’t you get what you did to me?” I wiped the side of my face.

Evie paused from boxing. “No tears. Get mad, not sad.”

“I hate you.” I breathed in and out as Evie nodded. “I-I hate you.”

“I love you,” he replied.

I paused for a few seconds to try and push his three words out of my mind. “Don’t call me anymore. Don’t email me. Don’t—”

“I won’t stop. Our love can’t stop.”

“You’re sick and twisted.”

“You’re everything that I’ve always longed for. Now is the time to pursue this. You’re of age, and my love for you has never ended.”

This was how it always went. I moved forward with my independence, and he shoved me right back.
Why can’t I stand up to him? What has he ingrained in my head to keep me latched onto him?
I tried to hand the phone to Evie.

“Nope.” She shook her head. “Don’t forget rule three.”

“You never said rule three.”

Evie twisted her lips to the side. “Well rule three is Cynthia will fight her own battles.”

“And if I die fighting?” My voice sounded like a shaky mess.

“Then you’ll die a warrior.”

Maybe I should smoke what she’s smoking.

I put the phone back to my ear.

“Cynthia?” he asked.

“I’m going to the cops to file a report against you.”

That had to unsettle him. It took him a good minute to respond. Meanwhile Evie gave me a thumbs up.

“I haven’t done anything to warrant a police report,” He said.

That pissed me off. If he’d been right in front of my face, I would have slapped him or maybe even hit him with one of Evie’s gut punches.

“You killed me.” Those words were the first ones that came out clear and strong, no stuttering or glint of uncertainty. “You murdered the normal part of me that was supposed to grow up, go off to college, marry, and be normal. You shattered that. Don’t you call me any more. You … you piece of shit!” I shut the phone off.

“Tell him, girl!” Some guy yelled from a booth farther down in the darkness.

Okay. I’m okay.

“This feels good,” I said to Evie.

He called back and I answered with no problem, ready to tell him off again.

“Cynthia, have you been drinking?” he asked.

“I’m going to file a report and sue and get a restraining order and … and buy a gun—”

Evie waved her hands to stop me. “Maybe you should slow down a little bit.”

“Cynthia, where is all of this coming from?” he asked. “I’ve never said a mean thing to you—”

“Shut up.”

And he did. That very reaction was like an electric shock to the system. Energy surged through me. I told him to be quiet, and he closed his sick little mouth. For once I had control, no more of him commanding the conversation.

“Tell his ass to lawyer up,” Evie ordered.

“You better lawyer up this week!” I hit the air. “I’m done with you continuing this twisted game that you play with my mind. I’m done!”

“Hurry up and be done, sweetie, so we can enjoy our night,” another guy yelled out from the shadows.

“This thing that you’ve caused ends tonight. I advise you to get your resources together because the future weeks will be rough ones.” I shut off the phone.

Evie high-fived me. “And that’s how you take control of the situation.”

Pipe ducked his head in the doorway. “Dear God, I figured this would be the last place you two would be.”

“She needed a quiet place to talk on the phone,” Evie admitted.

“So you take her to the B.J. section?” Pipe captured our hands and guided us away.

“BJ? I thought you said make out area.” Evie stumbled forward.

“What are we in high school? If anyone is giving a hickey back there it is not to the other guy’s neck. Let’s go.”

We rushed out of there and then further past dancing men.

“Anyway we got to go, people. Speed it up.” Pipe towed us forward. “Jay is waiting for us outside.”

What is wrong with you?” Evie tried to get out of his grip, but it looked like there was no escape for her. “Why do you want to leave all of a sudden? Where the hell is the fire, crazy?”

“He’s here.” Pipe glanced over his shoulder. “I don’t want Jay and him to meet.”

“Who’s he?” I asked.

“Pipe’s lover.” Evie picked up her pace.

“What’s wrong with Pipe’s lover?” I asked.

“It’s complicated,” Pipe muttered and dragged us away.