Complete Poems and Plays (54 page)

So long as you both shut it when you go out.

A
LEX
.
Ah, but you’re coming with me, Edward.

I thought, Edward may be all alone this evening,

And I know that he hates to spend an evening alone,

So you’re going to come out and have dinner with me.

E
DWARD
.
That’s very thoughtful of you, Alex, I’m sure;

But I rather
want
to be alone, this evening.

A
LEX
.
But you’ve got to have some dinner. Are you going out?

Is there anyone here to get dinner for you?

E
DWARD
.
No, I shan’t want much, and I’ll get it myself.

A
LEX
.
Ah, in that case I know what I’ll do.

I’m going to give you a little surprise:

You know, I’m rather a famous cook.

I’m going straight to your kitchen now

And I shall prepare you a nice little dinner

Which you can have alone. And then we’ll leave you.

Meanwhile, you and Peter can go on talking

And I shan’t disturb you.

E
DWARD
.
                              My dear Alex,

There’ll be nothing in the larder worthy of your cooking.

I couldn’t think of it.

A
LEX
.
                             Ah, but that’s my special gift —

Concocting a toothsome meal out of nothing.

Any scraps you have will do. I learned that in the East.

With a handful of rice and a little dried fish

I can make half a dozen dishes. Don’t say a word.

I shall begin at once.

[
Exit
to
kitchen
]

E
DWARD
.
                          Well, where did you leave off?

P
ETER
.
You asked me how I came to know Celia.

I met her here, about a year ago.

E
DWARD
.
At one of Lavinia’s amateur Thursdays?

P
ETER
.
A Thursday. Why do you say amateur?

E
DWARD
.
Lavinia’s attempts at starting a salon,

Where I entertained the minor guests

And dealt with the misfits, Lavinia’s mistakes.

But you were one of the minor successes

For a time at least.

P
ETER
.
                         I wouldn’t say that.

But Lavinia was awfully kind to me

And I owe her a great deal. And then I met Celia.

She was different from any girl I’d ever known

And not easy to talk to, on that occasion.

E
DWARD
.
Did you see her often?

A
LEX’S
V
OICE
.
Edward, have you a double boiler?

E
DWARD
.
I suppose there must be a double boiler:

Isn’t there one in every kitchen?

A
LEX’S
V
OICE
.
                                 I can’t find it.

There goes
that
surprise. I must think of another.

P
ETER
.
                                                                          Not very often.

And when I did, I got no chance to talk to her.

E
DWARD
.
You and Celia were asked for different purposes.

Your role was to be one of Lavinia’s discoveries;

Celia’s, to provide society and fashion.

Lavinia always had the ambition

To establish herself in two worlds at once —

But she herself had to be the link between them.

That is why, I think, her Thursdays were a failure.

P
ETER
.
You speak as if everything was finished.

E
DWARD
.
Oh no, no, everything is left unfinished.

But you haven’t told me how you came to know Celia.

P
ETER
.
I saw her again a few days later

Alone at a concert. And I was alone.

I’ve always gone to concerts alone —

At first, because I knew no one to go with,

And later, I found I preferred to go alone.

But a girl like Celia, it seemed very strange,

Because I thought of her merely as a name

In a society column, to find her there alone.

Anyway, we got into conversation

And I found that she went to concerts alone

And to look at pictures. So we often met

In the same way, and sometimes went together.

And to be with Celia, that was something different

From company or solitude. And we sometimes had tea

And once or twice dined together.

E
DWARD
.
                                             And after that

Did she ever introduce you to her family

Or to any of her friends?

P
ETER
.
                                No, but once or twice she spoke of them

And about their lack of intellectual interests.

E
DWARD
.
And what happened after that?

P
ETER
.
                                                        Oh, nothing happened.

But I thought that she really cared about me.

And I was so happy when we were together —

So … contented, so … at peace: I can’t express it;

I had never imagined such quiet happiness.

I had only experienced excitement, delirium,

Desire for possession. It was not like that at all.

It was something very strange. There was such … tranquillity …

E
DWARD
.
And what interrupted this interesting affair?

[
Enter
A
LEX
in
shirtsleeves
and
an
apron
]

A
LEX
.
Edward, I can’t find any curry powder.

E
DWARD
.
There isn’t any curry powder. Lavinia hates curry.

A
LEX
.
There goes another surprise, then. I must think.

I didn’t expect to find any mangoes,

But I
did
count upon curry powder.

[
Exit
]

P
ETER
.
That is exactly what I want to know.

She has simply faded — into some other picture —

Like a film effect. She doesn’t want to see me;

Makes excuses, not very plausible,

And when I do see her, she seems preoccupied

With some secret excitement which I cannot share.

E
DWARD
.
Do you think she has simply lost interest in you?

P
ETER
.
You put it just wrong. I think of it differently.

It is not her interest in
me
that I miss —

But those moments in which we seemed to share some perception,

Some feeling, some indefinable experience

In which we were both unaware of ourselves.

In your terms, perhaps, she’s lost interest in me.

E
DWARD
.
That is all very normal. If you could only know

How lucky you are. In a little while

This might have become an ordinary affair

Like any other. As the fever cooled

You would have found that she was another woman

And that you were another man. I congratulate you

On a timely escape.

P
ETER.
                I should prefer to be spared

Your congratulations. I had to talk to someone.

And I have been telling you of something real —

My first experience of reality

And perhaps it is the last. And you don’t understand.

E
DWARD
.
My dear Peter, I have only been telling you

What would have happened to you with Celia

In another six months’ time. There it is.

You can take it or leave it.

P
ETER
.
                                    But what am I to do?

E
DWARD
.
Nothing. Wait. Go back to California.

P
ETER
.
But I must see Celia.

E
DWARD
.
                                Will it be the same Celia?

Better be content with the Celia you remember.

Remember! I say it’s already a memory.

P
ETER
.
But I must see Celia at least to make her tell me

What has happened, in her terms. Until I know that

I shan’t know the truth about even the memory.

Did we really share these interests? Did we really feel the same

When we heard certain music? Or looked at certain pictures?

There was something real. But what is the reality …

[
The
telephone
rings
]

E
DWARD
.
Excuse me a moment.

[
Into
telephone
]

     Hello! … I can’t talk now …

Yes, there is … Well then, I’ll ring you

As soon as I can.

[
To
P
ETER
]
I’m sorry. You were saying?

P
ETER
.
I was saying, what is the reality

Of experience between two unreal people?

If I can only hold to the memory

I can bear any future. But I must find out

The truth about the past, for the sake of the memory.

E
DWARD
.
There’s no memory you can wrap in camphor

But the moths will get in. So you want to see Celia.

I don’t know why I should be taking all this trouble

To protect you from the fool you are.

What do you want me to do?

P
ETER.
                                    See Celia for me.