Complete Works, Volume I (12 page)

MCCANN
. Have you got anything to confess?

LULU
. What?

MCCANN
(
savagely
). Confess!

LULU
. Confess what?

MCCANN
. Down on your knees and confess!

LULU
. What does he mean?

GOLDBERG
. Confess. What can you lose?

LULU
. What, to him?

GOLDBERG
. He's only been unfrocked six months.

MCCANN
. Kneel down, woman, and tell me the latest!

LULU
(
retreating to the back door
). I've seen everything that's happened. I know what's going on. I've got a pretty shrewd idea.

MCCANN
(
advancing
). I've seen you hanging about the Rock of Cashel, profaning the soil with your goings-on. Out of my sight!

LULU
. I'm going.

She exits
.
MCCANN
goes to the door, left, and goes out. He ushers in
STANLEY
,
who is dressed in a dark well cut suit and white collar. He holds his broken glasses in his hand. He is clean-shaven.
MCCANN
follows and closes the door.
GOLDBERG
meets
STANLEY
,
seats him in a chair.

GOLDBERG
. How are you, Stan?

Pause.

Are you feeling any better?

Pause.

What's the matter with your glasses?

GOLDBERG
bends to look.

They're broken. A pity.

STANLEY
stares blankly at the floor.

MCCANN
(
at the table
). He looks better, doesn't he?

GOLDBERG
. Much better.

MCCANN
. A new man.

GOLDBERG
. You know what we'll do?

MCCANN
. What?

GOLDBERG
. We'll buy him another pair.

They begin to woo him, gently and with relish. During the following sequence
STANLEY
shows no reaction. He remains, with no movement, where he sits.

MCCANN
. Out of our own pockets.

GOLDBERG
. It goes without saying. Between you and me, Stan, it's about time you had a new pair of glasses.

MCCANN
. You can't see straight

GOLDBERG
. It's true. You've been cockeyed for years.

MCCANN
. Now you're even more cockeyed.

GOLDBERG
. He's right. You've gone from bad to worse.

MCCANN
. Worse than worse.

GOLDBERG
. You need a long convalescence.

MCCANN
. A change of air.

GOLDBERG
. Somewhere over the rainbow.

MCCANN
. Where angels fear to tread.

GOLDBERG
. Exactly.

MCCANN
. You're in a rut.

GOLDBERG
. You look anaemic.

MCCANN
. Rheumatic.

GOLDBERG
. Myopic.

MCCANN
. Epileptic.

GOLDBERG
. You're on the verge.

MCCANN
. You're a dead duck.

GOLDBERG
. But we can save you.

MCCANN
. From a worse fate.

GOLDBERG
. True.

MCCANN
. Undeniable.

GOLDBERG
. From now on, we'll be the hub of your wheel.

MCCANN
. We'll renew your season ticket.

GOLDBERG
. Well take tuppence off your morning tea.

MCCANN
. We'll give you a discount on all inflammable goods.

GOLDBERG
. We'll watch over you.

MCCANN
. Advise you.

GOLDBERG
. Give you proper care and treatment.

MCCANN
. Let you use the club bar.

GOLDBERG
. Keep a table reserved

MCCANN
. Help you acknowledge the fast days.

GOLDBERG
. Bake you cakes.

MCCANN
. Help you kneel on kneeling days.

GOLDBERG
. Give you a free pass.

MCCANN
. Take you for constitutionals.

GOLDBERG
. Give you hot tips.

MCCANN
. Well provide the skipping rope.

GOLDBERG
. The vest and pants.

MCCANN
. The ointment.

GOLDBERG
. The hot poultice.

MCCANN
. The fingerstall.

GOLDBERG
. The abdomen belt.

MCCANN
. The ear plugs.

GOLDBERG
. The baby powder.

MCCANN
. The back scratcher.

GOLDBERG
. The spare tyre.

MCCANN
. The stomach pump.

GOLDBERG
. The oxygen tent.

MCCANN
. The prayer wheel.

GOLDBERG
. The plaster of Paris.

MCCANN
. The crash helmet.

GOLDBERG
. The crutches.

MCCANN
. A day and night service.

GOLDBERG
. All on the house.

MCCANN
. That's it.

GOLDBERG
. We'll make a man of you.

MCCANN
. And a woman.

GOLDBERG
. You'll be re-orientated.

MCCANN
. You'll be rich.

GOLDBERG
. You'll be adjusted.

MCCANN
. You'll be our pride and joy.

GOLDBERG
. You'll be a mensch.

MCCANN
. You'll be a success.

GOLDBERG
. You'll be integrated.

MCCANN
. You'll give orders.

GOLDBERG
. You'll make decisions.

MCCANN
. You'll be a magnate.

GOLDBERG
. A statesman.

MCCANN
. You'll own yachts.

GOLDBERG
. Animals.

MCCANN
. Animals.

GOLDBERG
looks at
MCCANN
.

GOLDBERG
. I said animals. (
He turns back to
STANLEY
.) You'll be able to make or break, Stan. By my life. (
Silence.
STANLEY
is still.
) Well? What do you say?

STANLEY’S
head lifts very slowly and turns in
GOLDBERG’S
direction.

GOLDBERG
. What do you think? Eh, boy?

STANLEY
begins to clench and unclench his eyes.

MCCANN
. What's your opinion, sir? Of this prospect, sir?

GOLDBERG
. Prospect. Sure. Sure it's a prospect.

STANLEY’S
hands clutching his glasses begin to tremble.

What's your opinion of such a prospect? Eh, Stanley?

STANLEY
concentrates, his mouth opens, he attempts to speak, fails and emits sounds from his throat.

STANLEY
. Uh-gug . . . uh-gug . . . eeehhh-gag . . . (
On the breath.
) Caahh . . . caahh. . . .

They watch him. He draws a long breath which shudders down his body. He concentrates.

GOLDBERG
. Well, Stanny boy, what do you say, eh?

They watch. He concentrates. His head lowers, his chin draws into his chest, he crouches.

STANLEY
. Ug-gughh . . . uh-gughhh. . . .

MCCANN
. What's your opinion, sir?

STANLEY
. Caaahhh . . . caaahhh. . . .

MCCANN
. Mr Webber! What's your opinion?

GOLDBERG
. What do you say, Stan? What do you think of the prospect?

MCCANN
. What's your opinion of the prospect?

STANLEY’S
body shudders, relaxes, his head drops, he becomes still again, stooped
.
PETEY
enters from door, downstage, left.

GOLDBERG
. Still the same old Stan. Come with us. Come on, boy.

MCCANN
. Come along with us.

PETEY
. Where are you taking him?

They turn. Silence.

GOLDBERG
. We're taking him to Monty.

PETEY
. He can stay here.

GOLDBERG
. Don't be silly.

PETEY
. We can look after him here.

GOLDBERG
. Why do you want to look after him?

PETEY
. He's my guest.

GOLDBERG
. He needs special treatment.

PETEY
. We'll find someone.

GOLDBERG
. No. Monty's the best there is. Bring him, McCann.

They help
STANLEY
out of the chair. They all three move towards the door, left.

PETEY
. Leave him alone!

They stop
.
GOLDBERG
studies him.

GOLDBERG
(
insidiously
). Why don't you come with us, Mr Boles?

MCCANN
. Yes, why don't you come with us?

GOLDBERG
. Come with us to Monty. There's plenty of room in the car.

PETEY
makes no move. They pass him and reach the door.
MCCANN
opens the door and picks up the suitcases.

PETEY
(
broken
). Stan, don't let them tell you what to do!

They exit.

Silence,
PETEY
stands. The front door slams. Sound of a car starting. Sound of a car going away. Silence,
PETEY
slowly goes to the table. He sits on a chair, left. He picks up the paper and opens it. The strips fall to the floor. He looks down at them,
MEG
comes past the window and enters by the back door.
PETEY
studies the front page of the paper.

MEG
(
coming downstage
). The car's gone.

PETEY
. Yes.

MEG
. Have they gone?

PETEY
. Yes.

MEG
. Won't they be in for lunch?

PETEY
. No.

MEG
. Oh, what a shame. (
She puts her bag on the table.
) It's hot out. (
She hangs her coat on a hook.
) What are you doing?

PETEY
. Reading.

MEG
. Is it good?

PETEY
. All right.

She sits by the table.

MEG
. Where's Stan?

Pause.

Is Stan down yet, Petey?

PETEY
. No . . . he's . . . .

MBG
. Is he still in bed?

PETEY
. Yes, he's . . . still asleep.

MEG
. Still? He'll be late for his breakfast.

PETEY
. Let him . . . sleep.

Pause.

MEG
. Wasn't it a lovely party last night?

PETEY
. I wasn't there.

MEG
. Weren't you?

PETEY
. I came in afterwards.

MEG
. Oh.

Pause.

It was a lovely party. I haven't laughed so much for years. We had dancing and singing. And games. You should have been there.

PETEY
. It was good, eh?

Pause.

MEG
. I was the belle of the ball.

PETEY
. Were you?

MEG
. Oh yes. They all said I was.

PETEY
. I bet you were, too.

MEG
. Oh, it's true. I was.

Pause.

I know I was.

Curtain

The Room

THE ROOM
was first presented at the Hampstead Theatre Club on 21st January, 1960, with the following cast:

Directed by Harold Pinter

THE ROOM
was subsequently presented at the Royal Court Theatre on 8th March, 1960, with four changes in the cast:

Directed by Anthony Page

Scene: A room in a large house. A door down right. A gas-fire down left. A gas-stove and sink, up left. A window up centre. A table and chairs, centre. A rocking-chair, left centre. The foot of a double-bed protrudes from alcove, up right.

BERT
is at the table, wearing a cap, a magazine propped in front of him.
ROSE
is at the stove.

ROSE
. Here you are. This'll keep the cold out.

She places bacon and eggs on a plate, turns off the gas and takes the plate to the table.

It's very cold out, I can tell you. It's murder.

She returns to the stove and pours water from the kettle into the teapot, turns off the gas and brings the teapot to the table, pours salt and sauce on the plate and cuts two slices of bread.
BERT
begins to eat.

That's right. You eat that. You'll need it. You can feel it in here. Still, the room keeps warm. It's better than the basement, anyway.

She butters the bread.

I don't know how they live down there. It's asking for trouble. Go on. Eat it up. It'll do you good.

She goes to the sink, wipes a cup and saucer and brings them to the table.

If you want to go out you might as well have something inside you. Because you'll feel it when you get out.

She pours milk into the cup.

Just now I looked out of the window. It was enough for me. There wasn't a soul about. Can you hear the wind?

She sits in the rocking-chair.

I've never seen who it is. Who is it? Who lives down there? I'll have to ask. I mean, you might as well know, Bert. But whoever it is, it can't be too cosy.

Pause.

I think it's changed hands since I was last there. I didn't see who moved in then. I mean the first time it was taken.

Pause.

Anyway, I think they've gone now.

Pause.

But I think someone else has gone in now. I wouldn't like to live in that basement. Did you ever see the walls? They were running. This is all right for me. Go on, Bert. Have a bit more bread.

She goes to the table and cuts a slice of bread.

I'll have some cocoa on when you come back.

She goes to the window and settles the curtain.

No, this room's all right for me. I mean, you know where you are. When it's cold, for instance.

She goes to the table.

What about the rasher? Was it all right? It was a good one, I know, but not as good as the last lot I got in. It's the weather.

She goes to the rocking-chair, and sits.

Anyway, I haven't been out. I haven't been so well. I didn't feel up to it. Still, I'm much better today. I don't know about you though. I don't know whether you ought to go out. I mean, you shouldn't, straight after you've been laid up. Still. Don't worry, Bert. You go. You won't be long.

She rocks.

It's good you were up here, I can tell you. It's good you weren't down there, in the basement. That's no joke. Oh, I've left the tea. I've left the tea standing.

She goes to the table and pours tea into the cup.

No, it's not bad. Nice weak tea. Lovely weak tea. Here you are. Drink it down. I'll wait for mine. Anyway, I'll have it a bit stronger.

She takes a plate to the sink and leaves it.

Those walls would have finished you off. I don't know who lives down there now. Whoever it is, they're taking a big chance. Maybe they're foreigners.

She goes to the rocking-chair and sits.

I'd have pulled you through.

Pause.

There isn't room for two down there, anyway. I think there was one first, before he moved out. Maybe they've got two now.

She rocks.

If they ever ask you, Bert, I'm quite happy where I am. We're quiet, we're all right. You're happy up here. It's not far up either, when you come in from outside. And we're not bothered. And nobody bothers us.

Pause.

I don't know why you have to go out. Couldn't you run it down tomorrow? I could put the fire in later. You could sit by the fire. That's what you like, Bert, of an evening. It'll be dark in a minute as well, soon.

She rocks.

It gets dark now.

She rises and pours out tea at the table.

I made plenty. Go on.

She sits at table.

You looked out today? It's got ice on the roads. Oh, I know you can drive. I'm not saying you can't drive. I mentioned to Mr Kidd this morning that you'd be doing a run today. I told him you hadn't been too grand, but I said, still, he's a marvellous driver. I wouldn't mind what time, where, nothing, Bert. You know how to drive. I told him.

She wraps her cardigan about her.

But it's cold. It's really cold today, chilly. I'll have you some nice cocoa on for when yon get back.

She rises, goes to the window, and looks out.

It's quiet. Be coming on for dark. There's no one about.

She stands, looking.

Wait a minute.

Pause.

I wonder who that is.

Pause.

No. I thought I saw someone.

Pause.

No.

She drops the curtain.

You know what though? It looks a bit better. It's not so windy. You'd better put on your thick jersey.

She goes to the rocking-chair, sits and rocks.

This is a good room. You've got a chance in a place like this. I look after you, don't I, Bert? Like when they offered us the basement here I said no straight off. I knew that'd be no good. The ceiling right on top of you. No, you've got a window here, you can move yourself, you can come home at night, if you have to go out, you can do your job, you can come home, you're all right. And I'm here. You stand a chance.

Pause.

I wonder who has got it now. I've never seen them, or heard of them. But I think someone's down there. Whoever's got it can keep it. That looked a good rasher, Bert. I'll have a cup of tea later. I like mine a bit stronger. You like yours weak.

A knock at the door. She stands.

Who is it?

Pause.

Hallo!

Knock repeated.

Come in then.

Knock repeated.

Who is it?

Pause. The door opens and
MR KIDD
comes in.

MR KIDD
. I knocked.

ROSE
. I heard you.

MR KIDD
. Eh?

ROSE
. We heard you.

MR KIDD
. Hallo, Mr Hudd, how are you, all right? I've been looking at the pipes.

ROSE
. Are they all right?

MR KIDD
. Eh?

ROSE
. Sit down, Mr Kidd.

MR KIDD
. No, that's all right. I just popped in, like, to see how things were going. Well, it's cosy in here, isn't it?

ROSE
. Oh, thank you, Mr Kidd.

MR KIDD
. You going out today, Mr Hudd? I went out. I came straight in again. Only to the corner, of course.

ROSE
. Not many people about today, Mr Kidd.

MR KIDD
. So I thought to myself, I'd better have a look at those pipes. In the circumstances. I only went to the corner, for a few necessary items. It's likely to snow. Very likely, in my opinion.

ROSE
. Why don't you sit down, Mr Kidd?

MR KIDD
. No, no, that's all right.

ROSE
. Well, it's a shame you have to go out in this weather, Mr Kidd. Don't you have a help?

MR KIDD
. Eh?

ROSE
. I thought you had a woman to help.

MR KIDD
. I haven't got any woman.

ROSE
. I thought you had one when we first came.

MR KIDD
. No women here.

ROSE
. Maybe I was thinking of somewhere else.

MR KIDD
. Plenty of women round the corner. Not here though. Oh no. Eh, have I seen that before?

ROSE
. What?

MR KIDD
. That.

ROSE
. I don't know. Have you?

MR KIDD
. I seem to have some remembrance.

ROSE
. It's just an old rocking-chair.

MR KIDD
. Was it here when you came?

ROSE
. No, I brought it myself.

MR KIDD
. I could swear blind I've seen that before.

ROSE
. Perhaps you have.

MR KIDD
. What?

ROSE
. I say, perhaps you have.

MR KIDD
. Yes, maybe I have.

ROSE
. Take a seat, Mr Kidd.

MR KIDD
. I wouldn't take an oath on it though.

BERT
yawns and stretches, and continues looking at his magazine.

No, I won't sit down, with Mr Hudd just having a bit of a rest after his tea. I've got to go and get mine going in a minute. You're going out then, Mr Hudd? I was just looking at your van. She's a very nice little van, that. I notice you wrap her up well for the cold. I don't blame you. Yes, I was hearing you go off, when was it, the other morning, yes. Very smooth. I can tell a good gear-change.

ROSE
. I thought your bedroom was at the back, Mr Kidd.

MR KIDD
. My bedroom?

ROSE
. Wasn't it at the back? Not that I ever knew.

MR KIDD
. I wasn't in my bedroom.

ROSE
. Oh, well.

MR KIDD
. I was up and about.

ROSE
. I don't get up early in this weather. I can take my time. I take my time.

Pause.

MR KIDD
. This was my bedroom.

ROSE
. This? When?

MR KIDD
. When I lived here.

ROSE
. I didn't know that.

MR KIDD
. I will sit down for a few ticks. (
He sits in the armchair.
)

ROSE
. Well, I never knew that.

MR KIDD
. Was this chair here when you came?

ROSE
. Yes.

MR KIDD
. I can't recollect this one.

Pause.

ROSE
. When was that then?

MR KIDD
. Eh?

ROSE
. When was this your bedroom?

MR KIDD
. A good while back.

Pause.

ROSE
. I was telling Bert I was telling you how he could drive.

MR KIDD
. Mr Hudd? Oh, Mr Hudd can drive all right. I've seen him bowl down the road all right. Oh yes.

ROSE
. Well, Mr Kidd, I must say this is a very nice room. It's a very comfortable room.

MR KIDD
. Best room in the house.

ROSE
. It must get a bit damp downstairs.

MR KIDD
. Not as bad as upstairs.

ROSE
. What about downstairs?

MR KIDD
. Eh?

ROSE
. What about downstairs?

MR KIDD
. What about it?

ROSE
. Must get a bit damp.

MR KIDD
. A bit. Not as bad as upstairs though.

ROSE
. Why's that?

MR KIDD
. The rain comes in.

Pause.

ROSE
. Anyone live up there?

MR KIDD
. Up there? There was. Gone now.

ROSE
. How many floors you got in this house?

MR KIDD
. Floors. (
He laughs.
) Ah, we had a good few of them in the old days.

ROSE
. How many have you got now?

MR KIDD
. Well, to tell you the truth, I don't count them now.

ROSE
. Oh.

MR KIDD
. No, not now.