Complete Works, Volume I (23 page)

A Night Out

A NIGHT OUT
was first performed on the B.B.C. Third Programme on I March 1960, with the following cast:

Produced by Donald McWhinnie

The play was televised by A.B.C. Armchair Theatre on 24 April 1960, with the following cast:

Produced by Philip Saville

Act One

SCENE ONE

The kitchen of
MRS. STOKES
’
small house in the south of London. Clean and tidy.

ALBERT
,
a young man of twenty-eight, is standing in his shirt and trousers, combing his hair in the kitchen mirror over the mantelpiece. A woman
‘
s voice calls his name from upstairs. He ignores it, picks up a brush from the mantelpiece and brushes his hair. The voice calls again. He slips the comb in his pocket, bends down, reaches under the sink and takes out a shoe duster. He begins to polish his shoes.
MRS. STOKES
descends the stairs, passes through the hall and enters the kitchen.

MOTHER
: Albert, I've been calling you. [
She watches him.
] What are you doing?

ALBERT
: Nothing.

MOTHER
: Didn't you hear me call you, Albert? I've been calling you from upstairs.

ALBERT
: You seen my tie?

MOTHER
: Oh, I say, I'll have to put the flag out.

ALBERT
: What do you mean?

MOTHER
: Cleaning your shoes, Albert? I'll have to put the flag out, won't I?

ALBERT
puts the brush back under the sink and begins to search the sideboard and cupboard.

What are you looking for?

ALBERT
: My tie. The striped one, the blue one.

MOTHER
: The bulb's gone in Grandma's room.

ALBERT
: Has it?

MOTHER
: That's what I was calling you about. I went in and switched on the light and the bulb had gone.

She watches him open the kitchen cabinet and look into it.

Aren't those your best trousers, Albert? What have you put on your best trousers for?

ALBERT
: Look, Mum, where's my tie? The blue one, the blue tie, where is it? You know the one I mean, the blue striped one, I gave it to you this morning.

MOTHER
: What do you want your tie for?

ALBERT
: I want to put it on. I asked you to press it for me this morning. I gave it to you this morning before I went to work, didn't I?

She goes to the gas stove, examines the vegetables, opens the oven and looks into it.

MOTHER
[
gently
]: Well, your dinner'll be ready soon. You can look for it afterwards. Lay the table, there's a good boy.

ALBERT
: Why should I look for it afterwards? You know where it is now.

MOTHER
: You've got five minutes. Go down to the cellar, Albert, get a bulb and put it in Grandma's room, go on.

ALBERT
[
irritably
]: I don't know why you keep calling that room Grandma's room, she's been dead ten years.

MOTHER
: Albert!

ALBERT
: I mean, it's just a junk room, that's all it is.

MOTHER
: Albert, that's no way to speak about your Grandma, you know that as well as I do.

ALBERT
: I'm not saying a word against Grandma—

MOTHER
: You'll upset me in a minute, you go on like that.

ALBERT
: I'm not going on about anything.

MOTHER
: Yes, you are. Now why don't you go and put a bulb in Grandma's room and by the time you come down I'll have your dinner on the table.

ALBERT
: I can't go down to the cellar, I've got my best trousers on, I've got a white shirt on.

MOTHER
: You're dressing up tonight, aren't you? Dressing up, cleaning your shoes, anyone would think you were going to the Ritz.

ALBERT
: I'm not going to the Ritz.

MOTHER
[
suspiciously
]: What do you mean, you're not going to the Ritz?

ALBERT
: What do you mean?

MOTHER
: The way you said you're not going to the Ritz, it sounded like you were going somewhere else.

ALBERT
[
wearily
]: I am.

MOTHER
[
shocked surprise
]: You're going out?

ALBERT
: You know I'm going out. I told you I was going out. I told you last week. I told you this morning. Look, where's my tie? I've got to have my tie. I'm late already. Come on, Mum, where'd you put it?

MOTHER
: What about your dinner?

ALBERT
[
searching
]: Look . . . I told you . . . I haven't got the . . . wait a minute . . . ah, here it is.

MOTHER
: You can't wear that tie. I haven't pressed it.

ALBERT
: You have. Look at it. Of course you have. It's beautifully pressed. It's fine.

He ties the tie.

MOTHER
: Where are you going?

ALBERT
: Mum, I've told you, honestly, three times. Honestly, I've told you three times I had to go out tonight.

MOTHER
: No, you didn't.

ALBERT
exclaims and knots the tie.

I thought you were joking.

ALBERT
: I'm not going . . I'm just going to Mr. King's. I've told you. You don't believe me.

MOTHER
: You're going to Mr. King's?

ALBERT
: Mr. Ryan's leaving. You know Ryan. He's leaving the firm. He's been there years. So Mr. King's giving a sort of party for him at his house . . . well, not exactly a party, not a party, just a few . . . you know . . . anyway, we're all invited. I've got to go. Everyone else is going. I've got to go. I don't want to go, but I've got to.

MOTHER
[
bewildered, sitting
]: Well, I don't know . . .

ALBERT
[
with his arm round her
]: I won't be late. I don't want to go. I'd much rather stay with you.

MOTHER
: Would you?

ALBERT
: You know I would. Who wants to go to Mr. King's party?

MOTHER
: We were going to have our game of cards.

ALBERT
: Well, we can't have our game of cards.

[
Pause.
]

MOTHER
: Put the bulb in Grandma's room, Albert.

ALBERT
: I've told you I'm not going down to the cellar in my white shirt. There's no light in the cellar either. I'll be pitch black in five minutes, looking for those bulbs.

MOTHER
: I told you to put a light in the cellar. I told you yesterday.

ALBERT
: Well, I can't do it now.

MOTHER
: If we had a light in the cellar you'd be able to see where those bulbs were. You don't expect me to go down to the cellar?

ALBERT
: I don't know why we keep bulbs in the cellar!

[
Pause.
]

MOTHER
: Your father would turn in his grave if he heard you raise your voice to me. You're all I've got, Albert. I want you to remember that. I haven't got anyone else. I want you . . . I want you to bear that in mind.

ALBERT
: I'm sorry . . . I raised my voice.

He goes to the door.

[
Mumbling.
] I've got to go.

MOTHER
[
following
]: Albert!

ALBERT
: What?

MOTHER
: I want to ask you a question.

ALBERT
: What?

MOTHER
: Are you leading a clean life?

ALBERT
: A clean life?

MOTHER
: You're not leading an unclean life, are you?

ALBERT
: What are you talking about?

MOTHER
: You're not messing about with girls, are you? You're not going to go messing about with girls tonight?

ALBERT
: Don't be so ridiculous.

MOTHER
: Answer me, Albert. I'm your mother.

ALBERT
: I don't know any girls.

MOTHER
: If you're going to the firm's party, there'll be girls there, won't there? Girls from the office?

ALBERT
: I don't like them, any of them.

MOTHER
: You promise?

ALBERT
: Promise what?

MOTHER
: That . . . that you won't upset your father.

ALBERT
: My father? How can I upset my father? You're always talking about upsetting people who are dead!

MOTHER
: Oh, Albert, you don't know how you hurt me, you don't know the hurtful way you've got, speaking of your poor father like that.

ALBERT
: But he is dead.

MOTHER
: He's not! He's living! [
Touching her breast.
] In here! And this is his house!

[
Pause.
]

ALBERT
: Look, Mum, I won't be late . . . and I won't . . .

MOTHER
: But what about your dinner? It's nearly ready.

ALBERT
: Seeley and Kedge are waiting for me. I told you not to cook dinner this morning. [
He goes to the stairs
.] Just because you never listen . . .

He runs up the stairs and disappears. She calls after him from the hall.

MOTHER
: Well, what am I going to do while you're out? I can't go into Grandma's room because there's no light. I can't go down to the cellar in the dark, we were going to have a game of cards, it's Friday night, what about our game of rummy?

SCENE TWO

A coffee stall by a railway arch. A wooden bench is situated a short distance from it.

SEELEY
and
KEDGE
,
both about
ALBERT’S
age, are at the counter, talking to the barman. An old man leans at the corner of the counter.

SEELEY
: Give us a cheese roll as well, will you?

KEDGE
: Make it two.

SEELEY
: Make it two.

BARMAN
: Two cheese rolls.

SEELEY
: What are these, sausages?

BARMAN
: Best pork sausages.

SEELEY
[
to
KEDGE
]: You want a sausage?

KEDGE
[
shuddering
]: No, thanks.

SEELEY
: Yes, you're right.

BARMAN
: Two cheese rolls. What about these sausages, you want them or don't you?

SEELEY
: Just the rolls, mate.

BARMAN
: Two tea, two rolls, makes one and eightpence.

SEELEY
gives him half a crown.

KEDGE
: There'll be plenty to eat at the party.

SEELEY
: I'll bet.

OLD MAN
: Eh! [
They turn to him.
] Your mate was by here not long ago.

SEELEY
: Which mate?

OLD MAN:
He had a cup of tea, didn't he, Fred? Sitting over there he was, on the bench. He said he was going home to change but to tell you he'd be back.

KEDGE
: Uh-uh.

OLD MAN:
Not gone more than above forty-five minutes.