“Sean.” The ringing continued. He glanced over at the clock. Nearly two? Shit. They were supposed to be back at the set.
“Jonathan, don’t shut me out.” Sean crawled on top of him. “Please?”
“Your phone. You’re ringing.”
“Fuck.” Sean scrambled off the bed and landed on the floor. When he fell, he pulled the sheets down with him. “Sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” Jonathan folded his hands over his erection. “I’m the one sporting wood.”
“That’s a good sign.” Sean stood and tossed the bedding onto the mattress. “Let’s go be naked gay boys for the director. He’s expecting us.”
“Deal.”
Jonathan followed Sean out of the trailer. He glanced around, wondering if anyone happened to be looking. Without really trying or planning to, he looked like a slut. He chuckled. He was so not the slut-type.
Ten minutes later, he’d shucked his shirt again. The director insisted Jonathan and Sean strip to their underwear for the scene. Thankfully, most of the crew weren’t there. Jonathan didn’t know where they’d gone, but he appreciated the lack of eyeballs on him. Jesus. He hated being naked in front of anyone. Compared to Sean, he looked so…boring.
“Good. Get into bed together.” Tony flipped through the pages on his clipboard. “Sean, what are your changes?”
“We don’t talk.” Sean shoved his boxers to the floor. He’d donned the flesh colored sock thing. “Jonathan, stretch out.”
Jonathan scurried under the blankets. He covered himself to the waist and settled on his stomach. He wished they were back in the bedroom of the trailer without the cameras watching. He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of the pillowcase. Was that Sean’s shampoo on the fabric? Or was he imagining things?
“Ready? Reynolds, you stay put, right?” Tony asked.
“Yeah, he does. For now. We’re ready. Start filming.”
Jonathan wished he could see what was going on. He felt something land on the bed. Something soft. He fought the urge to look. The scene would probably last a whole nine seconds on screen, but he wanted those nine seconds to be perfect. The mattress dipped and Sean climbed in beside him. Just like in the trailer, he cuddled into Jonathan’s side.
Jonathan rolled onto his side and draped his arm around Sean. He breathed in Sean’s scent and kissed his shoulder. He could get used to them being together. God, he wanted to meet up with Sean after the filming.
“Good. Cut.”
Jonathan opened his eyes but didn’t move. Would they want close-ups again?
“I’m moving the camera, but I want you two to stay there. Sean, you mentioned a simple roll over then the phone lights up. No sound?” Tony adjusted the camera. “Right?”
“Yes. Keep it simple. Maybe have our song playing over the scene.” Sean dug his butt into Jonathan’s hip. “You,” he said, poking Jonathan’s hip. “Need to spoon me for this to be right.”
“Aren’t I already doing that?”
“I want your erection between my ass cheeks.” Sean turned enough to reach back and cup the side of Jonathan’s head. “It’s hot and gets me into character.”
“Ah.” He wasn’t sure why he’d hoped Sean would say he liked them being together and wanted to feel that dick later on, but he did. Embarrassment washed over him. He’d been reading way too much into the scene. This was acting, not reality. He’d fallen for his costar and he wasn’t even a big player in the damn movie. Jesus.
“Okay, I’m all set. You ready?” Tony ducked behind the camera. “Shout when you’re good.”
“We’re good?” Sean smiled at him. “What?” he whispered. “Better yet, keep that pinched expression. You know what’s coming and you’re waiting for me to leave. You don’t want me to and when I go, you slide your hand over my warm spot on the bed.”
“Yep.” Jonathan closed his eyes again. He’d been stupid to fall for Sean. His common sense had been right. He liked Sean Banks.
He barely heard Tony say they were rolling, but he knew what was going on. He felt Sean grappling for the phone then sitting up. When Sean left the bed, Jonathan dragged his hand over Sean’s back then touched the warm spot in the sheets. He grabbed Sean’s pillow, burying his face in the woodsy scent.
He’d screwed up so much. A tiny bit of Sean had imprinted himself on Jonathan’s heart.
“Great,” Tony shouted. “I’m impressed. I can feel the passion between you two. That’s hard to act. Get up, Reynolds. We’re done here for now.”
Jonathan opened his eyes. His erection had deflated, thankfully, allowing him to get up without embarrassing himself. He sat up and faced away from Sean, who stood talking with Tony. He heard their voices but couldn’t make out what they’d said. Honestly, he didn’t care. He wanted out. Out before he did something stupid, like losing his virginity to a man who only wanted a notch on his bedpost or belt or whatever.
He snatched his shirt from the floor and hurried out of the room. He’d forgotten his shoes in the process. Fine. He had shoes other places or could find something.
“Jonathan.”
He didn’t bother to look at Sean.
“Jonathan.” Sean trotted around him, stopping him. He’d donned his pants, but nothing else. “What’s the matter with you? I gave you a compliment.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. I said we needed to expand your role or add you to the next installment. Our chemistry is impeccable.” Sean folded his arms, accentuating his pecs and the muscle in his arms. He’d definitely done his time in the gym.
Jonathan suppressed a whimper. He’d been pressed against that body and was now ready to give it up in order to save his heart.
“Seriously, what’s wrong?” Sean directed Jonathan into the living room area of the set. The room didn’t afford much privacy, but thankfully there weren’t many people on the soundstage.
“I’m fine.” Jonathan shrugged away from Sean. “Just tired.”
“Really? You expect me to believe that?” Sean stopped him again. “I might not know you super well, but I can tell something changed. You’re upset. What’s the deal? Didn’t like the scene? Did you want it to happen another way?”
“No.” He’d been taught to speak his mind and not to hold back when asked. “The acting was fine. The scene was fine.”
“You say fine a lot. Care to enlighten me on your not fine feelings?”
Damn it. “I’m in over my head, okay?” He ducked around Sean, unable to look at him. “I did something really crazy.”
“What’s that?” Sean splayed his hand on Jonathan’s back. “You can tell me. I don’t get naked with just anyone and I never let anyone into my trailer. Talk to me.”
“I fell for you.”
Chapter Four
Fell for
him
? Things were officially complicated—and cute as hell. Sean hooked his fingers in the belt loops of his jeans. He’d had plenty of men and countless women who claimed to be in love with him. Most of it was simple hero worship because of his profession. He’d been accused of sleeping with many of his costars, too, but he’d never been in love with any of them. He’d done his share of screwing around, but nothing compared to actual love. Could such an emotion develop between him and Jonathan?
Possible. Hearing Jonathan say he’d fallen for him invigorated Sean, but the knowledge also scared him. He wanted more with the younger man, but he also didn’t want to hurt him.
Jonathan shook his head. “I get it. We just did a stressful scene where we had to fake being in love. I’m new at this and allowed my heart to get involved. I’m sorry. I’ll have more tact tomorrow or the next time I’m on set.” He ducked around Sean. He didn’t say goodbye or anything. He simply walked by then off the set.
Sean scrubbed both hands over his face. Something about what Jonathan had said didn’t feel right. They weren’t just acting. Those feelings were true. Something had formed between them. The problem was they’d just met. Something strong couldn’t happen that fast. It wasn’t possible. What had he done to ease Jonathan’s mind? Oh…nothing but come on to him and invite him to stay the night. The kid was a virgin! Sean had reduced the blossoming feelings between them to something cheap, rather than understanding Jonathan needed patience.
“Where’d your boy go?” Tony closed the set door. “He ran out of here like someone fired him. You didn’t fire him, did you?”
“We’re done.” Sean headed back into the bedroom part of the set. He needed his shirt and shoes. He’d perfected the art of avoidance. According to his sponsor, Tyler, he needed to let people in. Yeah? Well, screw that. Allowing people into his life only led to pain and irritation.
“Sean, I saw the scene. We’ll need to do some cutting and clean up, but you and Jonathan have chemistry. I thought maybe I’d bring him back tomorrow and the rest of the week for some crowd scenes.”
“You’ve got his number,” Sean snapped. “Call him.”
“Who pissed you off?” Tony stepped in front of Sean. “You’re acting like a jerk.”
“No one pissed me off.”
“Are you sure?” Tony snorted. “We’ve done what…four movies together? I know you. You’re upset. God forbid you explain to me what’s wrong. You won’t break and you won’t look weak.”
“So?” Sean tugged his shirt over his head and stuffed his arms through the sleeves. Where in the hell had he put his shoes?
“Stop.” Tony grabbed Sean’s arm, preventing him from picking up his shoes. “He got under your skin, didn’t he?”
“It’s complicated,” he said, parroting what Jonathan had said. He refused to admit Tony might be right.
“With you, everything is complicated.” Tony slapped his thighs. “What am I going to do with you? Huh? I’ve got a good feeling you and Jonathan—even if it’s only on screen. Even Kade, the screenwriter, thinks Clayton needs an origin story with Owen. He suggested a vignette. Won’t take long to film and Kade will probably head up production since Tony’s wrapped up in this film.”
“Vignette?” He’d seen the cult following given to the people in the series. He could resurrect his career with the right sub-story…and on the back of his chemistry with Jonathan. Using the kid wasn’t fair. He needed his career, though. He needed to work. Sitting still wasn’t an option. When he got bored, he found things to occupy his time, and those things always got him into trouble.
“Screw it,” Tony growled. “I’ll call him myself.” He started away from Sean then stopped. “Get your head screwed on straight. I need you to be in character and ready to perform tomorrow. Got it? I’m not putting up with bullshit because your dick was offended.”
“I understand.” He picked up his shoes and socks. He’d been put into place and deserved it. Good Lord. He’d been acting as if he’d lost his mind.
Sean headed back to his trailer. He needed to call his sponsor. He hadn’t heard from Tyler in nearly a year. Then again, he hadn’t needed Tyler in that long. He’d known where he stood with his addictions—until now.
He closed the door and engaged the lock. If he was going to face his sponsor, he wanted to do it alone. He dialed Tyler’s number. After two rings, Tyler answered.
“Sean.”
“Hi, Tyler.” He wasn’t sure what to think. They’d been friends, but the last time they’d talked, things had gotten messy.
“How are you? What’s wrong? You only call when there’s a crisis. Have you started drinking? Or is it the coke again?”
“It’s a guy.”
“Oh.”
“I-I need advice.” Admitting the truth hurt like hell.
“You really want me to advise you? I’m still kind of waiting for you to come back to California. We were good together.”
He’d never forgotten why Tyler had been a horrible sponsor. They’d fallen into bed within four weeks of meeting. Sure, Tyler had kept Sean from drugs and mostly off the bottle, but he’d used Sean’s other great vice against him—sex.
“So, what’s the deal?” Tyler asked.
Sean needed to patch things over with his sponsor before he could deal with his current issues. “You know we’d never work. Not for long term. You need stability. My career doesn’t allow me a nine-to-five work week. I’m stable, but on my own terms.”
“Then do a sitcom. Something that takes place in California,” Tyler pleaded. “If you were here, we’d find a way to work out.”
“I’ve done sitcoms, and I’m done with them.” Besides, most of the producers didn’t trust him. He either left because of his addictions, or the shows barely lasted four seasons. When the show didn’t last, he ended up catching hell.
“Can’t blame a guy for trying. We were good together,” Tyler said.
“For that time.” Sean had no ill will against Tyler. When they’d been a couple, he’d figured out how to get clean. Unfortunately, he shouldn’t have been
in a relationship
with his sponsor.
“Do you remember why we didn’t work out?” Sean asked.
“Yeah, we slept together.”
“Sex ruined us?”
“We forgot our roles. That’s what screwed us up. I let down my guard and fell for you. You…you were the suave jackass from all your movies. Oil and water never mixes, no matter how hard we tried,” Tyler said.
“My attitude fucked you over?” Nothing made sense. Well, hardly none of it. He’d been a true jackass when he’d been using. He’d allowed the chemicals and booze to rule his life.
“Your attitude was horrible. If you come home, we can sort this out,” Tyler pleaded. “Come on. You know we can.”
“You know we can’t.”
“Then that’s it. There’s another guy. Who is he?”
“Do I suspect jealousy?” Sean asked. He could lie, but why bother? “Yeah. Kind of. My attitude and personality shoved him away with both hands.”
“Then why are you calling me? To soothe your conscience? For forgiveness?”
“I’m looking for a pattern,” Sean said. “I barely know Jonathan, but I swear we’ve got chemistry. I know, I know…you don’t want to hear that. I’m trying to figure out what’s pushing him away—my attitude or the real me.”
“Be yourself. Stop complicating shit by being the actor. I’ll bet you
do
have chemistry. You’re a charismatic guy, but give him a chance to find out if the chemistry is there with the real Sean.”
“That’s what I’m worried about. The real me might be the asshole.” Sean sat down hard on the bed. He bounced and rested his elbows on his knees.