“
Yeah.
”
“
Pick out a movie,
”
he says on his way upstairs.
“
Something with lots of sex!
”
he yells back to me. I glance into the game room, cheeks red, as Lexi pops her head out, looking at me curiously.
“
What was that about lots of sex?
”
she asks suspiciously.
“
I think you
’
re hearing things,
”
I tell her, shaking my head.
“
Like I heard things coming from your room?
”
she responds.
“
It didn
’
t sound like a lot of talking.
”
“
I swear we were!
”
“
Don
’
t swear, Liv, if you don
’
t mean it.
”
Well, we were talking some, so it
’
s not a lie.
I shrug my shoulders, waiting impatiently for Jon to come back downstairs.
“
Can we watch the movie with you?
”
“
Of course,
”
I tell her, accepting that Jon and I aren
’
t going to get to be affectionate with one another anymore tonight anyway. Not with my cousin
’
s suspicions. Plus, Saturday will be here before we know it.
At a quarter till midnight, we turn off the movie and tune into a local channel to watch the ball drop in Times Square. Kyle and Lexi go upstairs to pour four glasses of champagne for a toast, bringing the glasses and the bottle down into the basement for us to celebrate the
New Year
.
“
Wow, this is the first year I won
’
t have to hear some pompous toast from my dad,
”
I realize.
“
Pompous?
”
Lexi asks.
“
Your dad is so eloquent. I love his toasts. They
’
re always so well thought, and he
’
s so
well spoken
. Does he write them and memorize them?
”
“
I don
’
t think so,
”
I tell her, having never given any thought to that.
“
I think he just speaks off the cuff.
”
“
He
’
s brilliant,
”
my cousin says.
“
I hope he
’
ll help my dad with a toast for the wedding. He already told me he didn
’
t think he could do it without a ton of alcohol, and something tells me that won
’
t be a good idea.
”
“
I don
’
t think I
’
ve ever seen Steven drunk.
”
“
He gets a little belligerent, but yeah, I haven
’
t seen him drunk in years. Remember in Vail, when Jack and my dad got into it?
”
“
I didn
’
t go to Vail. That was before my time.
”
“
Oh, that
’
s right!
”
Lexi says.
“
That was the first time we
’
d met Emi. Apparently Dad was drunk then, and insulting Emi or something, and Jacks was trying to get him to
‘
take it outside.
’
We were all staring in awe. It was, like, bizarro,
”
she says.
“
Dad threw down his chair before he stormed out.
”
“
No way,
”
I say, shocked.
“
What did Jack do?
”
Jon jumps into the conversation.
“
He was really mad,
”
Lexi says.
“
I don
’
t think they spoke for the rest of the trip. I think Jacks would have hit Dad, had they gone outside.
”
“
Not
my
dad,
”
I argue.
“
Yes,
your
dad,
”
she says back.
“
Don
’
t mess with the people Jacks loves. He won
’
t tolerate it.
”
“
We saw that with Brandon,
”
Jon says.
“
Right,
”
Lexi nods in recognition.
“
Fortunately, your dad seems to have a knack for talking sense into the most senseless of people without ever laying a hand on them.
”
Hearing the countdown starting on the television, we all shift our focus there, flutes in hand.
“
Wait, do we toast or kiss at midnight?
”
I ask playfully. Jon and I glance at each other, both deciding to drink the full glasses of champagne before the ball makes it all the way down. Lexi and Kyle are too interested in the crowd on TV to notice. As the ball drops, and as my cousin and her fiancé toast, Jon takes me into his arms and kisses me fully and passionately. He threads his fingers through my hair as I scrape his back beneath his shirts again. He moans at my touch, but neither of us pull away from the other. He moves his hands to either side of my face, and shortens our kisses. I keep my eyes closed, blissfully happy and feeling a little dizzy. I
’
m not sure if it
’
s the feeling of being swept off my feet, the lack of oxygen, or the champagne that
’
s making me feel this way.
Regardless, I
’
m glad Jon
’
s holding on to me.
“
I love you,
”
he whispers.
“
I love you, too.
”
I open my eyes to see his confident smile.
“
Happy New Year.
”
“
I
’
m kind of sad to see this one go,
”
he admits.
“
You made it the best one of my life, so far.
”
“
Well, I just started,
”
I tell him with a grin.
“
Give me another year, and I promise you, it
’
ll only get better.
”
“
I
’
ll take you up on that.
”
He bites his bottom lip contemplatively before pressing his lips to mine once more.
“
I can
’
t wait to see what this year brings us.
”
“
Me, neither.
”
CHAPTER 1
3
“
So how did you make it through New Year
’
s?
”
Granna asks both
my mother and me
over dinner. Dad had decided not to come with us, and instead took Trey out with Steven and his boys.
“
It was nice,
”
Mom says.
“
It felt good to go out again.
”
“
I
’
ve been trying to tell you that for years, Emily.
”
“
I know. It just never felt right.
”
“
I
’
m happy for you. I bet Jackson was thrilled.
”
“
He was a little off
that day. That
’
s what finally convinced me to do it. I don
’
t remember a year when he was so reflective about it. Getting him out of the house was just what he needed, though. We had a good time, and from what I hear, Livvy and Lexi had a good time.
”
“
Yes?
”
Granna directs her question to me.
“
I did, for the most part.
”
Mom looks at me curiously.
“
I spent the morning looking through the sketch book.
”
Granna shifts uncomfortably in her chair.
“
Livvy showed me. I
’
m not upset,
”
my mother assures her.
“
I couldn
’
t really look through it yet, but I do intend to spend some time with it.
”
“
I thought she would understand it,
”
Nate
’
s mom explains.
“
Really, it
’
s okay, Donna. I
’
m happy she has it. I
’
m sure it
’
s fascinating to her.
”
“
It is. It really is,
”
I tell them both.
“
I feel like I can relate to it. To him, really.
”
Both women smile at me. Granna takes a deep breath. I can tell she has something to tell us.
“
I have some news.
”
“
What?
”
Mom asks.
“
The loft was put on the market.
”
“
The
loft?
”
Granna nods.
“
What loft?
”
I ask.
“
Nate
’
s loft,
”
they both answer.
“
The owner said her family had outgrown it. She was sad to have to move.
”
“
It
’
s a beautiful apartment,
”
Mom says.
“
It is,
”
Granna agrees.
“
Where is it?
”
“
On 5th Avenue, overlooking Central Park. It has an amazing view out of floor-to-ceiling windows. It
’
s the penthouse apartment.
”
My mom smiles as she talks about it.
“
I lived there for awhile after he passed away.
”
“
Nate was going to ask your mother to move in with him for Christmas. They never exchanged gifts that year, though. The key was still wrapped under the tree.
”
I hear sadness in Granna
’
s voice.
“
Why didn
’
t you give each other gifts?
”
“
We
’
d just found out about the baby,
”
Mom says.
“
It was tough. I needed some time to think. I
’
ve always been a little stubborn,
”
she adds as an aside to me.
“
I know, I got it from you.
”
“
Hush,
”
she says in jest.
“
I kind of want to see it.
”
“
Then we should go after dinner. It
’
ll be our little secret.
”
“
Who are we keeping it a secret from?
”
I ask.
“
Dad never cared for the loft.
”
“
Jackson said he could feel Nate
’
s spirit there. And I think your mom did, too.
”
“
It
’
s a very inspiring place to be,
”
she corrects Granna.
“
It was always inspiring, even when he was still living there.
”
She directs her attention to me.
“
I would go over there all the time so that I could focus more on my work. He
’
d have classical music playing most of the time. Sometimes there would be something more current, something emotive–
”