This book is intended to give advice and suggestions, based on observations and case studies. It's hard to be told what to do by someone you don't know, especially when things get personal, when family is involved. But in preparing this book, my mind often reverts to the story of the lawyer described in Chapter 9, who regretted his successful life due to its cost.
I am reminded also of a client of mine with whom I worked some years ago who had spent most of his early professional life, from age 25 to 40, circling the globe on behalf of his employer. Visiting district offices on every continent, and living out of a suitcase, he built a successful career that he then promptly walked away from.
I asked him why he did it. He told me it was the day he stayed home for a weekend to spend some time with his new infant daughter who was then six months old. As much as he tried, his daughter did not want to stay on his lap. She screamed to get off because she didn't know who he was. He could not feed her, pick her up, or even look into her eyes. She was too afraidâof her own father. Not shy, afraid.
That was the day he discovered that the cost of his career had become too great. He had to make a change, and that's just what he did. But he did not have to quit his job, nor take a sabbatical or even a cut in pay. All he had to doâall he did do, was to sit down with his manager and discuss where things had got to. He simply talked with his manager, who himself had been too busy to truly notice the recent increase in travel, and together they worked on a renewed, refined plan of operations, in which the needs of the company were met, yet which allowed for a more balanced, healthy lifestyle for my colleague.
KEY POINTS TO TAKE AWAY
⢠Mealtime is a prime opportunity for decompression and for active listening with your family. It is often sacrificed due to the demands of high-speed, extra-curricular activities.
⢠Techniques such as “blue flag” day are intended to reinforce positive habits through symbolism and regularity.
⢠There is great legitimacy in “doing nothing” for a while.
⢠One of the dangers of high-speed living and of its social acceptance is the elimination of accountability.
⢠Busy parents also hesitate at playing the “bad guy” when their time with their kids is already limited.
⢠Kids learn by observing. If they see Mom or Dad returning emails at all hours of the night, they will adopt the same lifestyle.
⢠Kids have already adopted the high-speed lifestyle through late-night access to text messaging.
⢠The human body has a tremendous capacity to recuperate and regenerate in a short time. Use the power of the pause to add to, not take away from, your potential.
COOL DOWN
⢠Schedule your “together times” as far in advance as possible. Use your calendars to highlight these dates and times. Use colors or other symbolism to make them as real as possible.
⢠Choose symbolism that works for you.
⢠Use the same techniques at work. Use your office calendar to highlight times that you will be unavailable, e.g., 4:30 p.m. onwards on a blue flag day.
⢠Use your ability to influence other people to ensure they know about your comparatively early departure on select days.
⢠Practice the art of decompressing. Can you put your cell phone aside during your drive home? Choose a selection of music or spoken-word novels instead.
⢠Practice the art of leaving work troubles outside. Identify an object that exists outside your residence upon which you can metaphorically “hang” your troubles.
⢠Schedule special dates such as birthdays and anniversaries into your calendar, but be sure also to include lead time, such as a reminder seven days ahead which will give you time to buy and mail cards or gifts or to make restaurant reservations.
⢠Make sure to schedule these dates as recurring items, so you don't forget next year.
⢠Call one person from your circle of friends each week just to say hello.
⢠Remember the parable of the sleep-deprivation studentâa little pause or refreshment is all you need.
1
The Dalai Lama,
The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living
. Riverhead, 1998.
2
“Children's bedtimes getting laterâand later.”
The Globe and Mail
, April 8, 2006.
CONCLUSION
When I first heard about and then researched the
Slow
movement, the various aspects of my personaâthe engineer, the industrial psychologist, the teacher, the business owner, the parentâall demanded to know whether the concepts as described by the
Slow
movement's aficionados could be accepted in any form by the speed-loving, debt-plagued citizens of the Western world.
I have attempted to answer yesâwe must adopt the principles of
slow
if we are to remain competitive, employable, and healthy, both collectively and, more importantly, as individuals. I have met many people who have already successfully adopted and adapted the principles of
slow
into their lives. They have shown me how they've been able to communicate better with their teams, close more sales, delegate, influence, become more creative, sleep better, eat better, maintain a healthy weight, connect with their families, expand their circle of friends and business acquaintances, build their career safety net, enjoy a balanced life, and much, much more, simply by introducing
cool down
concepts in careful increments; by planning carefully, communicating clearly, and encouraging a greater amount of human-to-human intellectual and emotional contact.
Whenever I question my legitimacy as a writer and a time management expert as to whether I have the right to say the things I say in this book, I think of my colleague, the world traveller, whose daughter didn't know him. I think of the lawyer who had had no life, and I think of all the other people I have met who would admit, if pressed, that perhaps, yes, they've let the harness stay on longer than it ought.
I think also of all the others I know, or know of, who have found success, in whatever manner they define that term, by taking the time to do it right.
If you are considering joining this latter group, by embracing some of the principles and practices mentioned in this book, be sure to write your ideas down, to get them out of your head (so as not to forget them
and
to make room for more). Then talk about them. Talk to a mentor. Talk to your manager. You can even write to me, if you'd like (just go to
www.bristall.com
and use the
Contact Us
link).
Then practice until you get it right.
Cooling down
is possible. It is healthier, and it will get you where you want to go, faster, and in better condition. Life's just too short to live at high speed.
INDEX
A
absenteeism
accountability
agenda
for meeting
alarm clocks
Alcan Inc.
alertness
driving and eating
Alexander the Great
Allen, Woody
ambient momentum
anger
dangers of
controlling
and fear
Animal Farm
(Orwell)
Aristotle
arrhythmias
The Art of Happiness
(Dalai Lama)
assistants
AstraZeneca Inc.
attention deficit
overcoming in children
automobiles
car-free zones
ownership in China
B
bathroom breaks
allowing time for
in meetings
Bing, Stanley
biographies
as mentor
birthrate
in Japan
Blake, Anna
Blink
(Gladwell)
blood pressure
blood sugar.
See also
Sugar crash
“Blue Flag Day”
blue-skying
during commute
and creative thought
definition
and exercise
with eyes closed
how-to tips
role of coffee
role of sleep
tea ritual
types
body language
boredom
and exercise
Bowie, David
Bowie Theory
Branson, Richard
breakfast
benefits of
foods
importance of
15-minute
scheduling
skipping
and weight gain
Britain
tea ritual
Burchill, Julie
Burg, Bob
burnout
recognizing
and stress
and turnover rates
business cards
Business Communication: Process and Product
(Guffey, Rhodes, and Rogin)
C
calendar system
using effectively
cardiovascular disease
career
assessing future
car-free zones
carpooling
CD player
use for blue-skying
cell phones
as creativity killer
system to control use
use by children
children
and cell phone use
and discipline
guiding to slow down
sleep deprivation and
China
automobile ownership in
Churchill, Winston
circadian rhythms
Cittaslow
cleanliness
client relationships.
See also
Customer service
evaluating
clients
firing weak
clothes
selecting for workweek
coffee
and blue-skying
for breakfast
meeting and job hunting
in morning
role in business
communication
body language
and carpooling
eye contact
gestures
inflection
language used
and managing crises
non-verbal
with others
preference for type of
speech rhythms
vocal tone
writing style
communicative diseases
communities of practice
commuting
driving habits
carpooling
changing mindset to
as time for creative thought
tips for enjoying
conflict management
Cooper, Cary
coronary heart disease
Covey, Steven
creative thought
and blue-skying
role of sleep
stimulating
creativity.
See
creative thought
crises
cubicles, office
ambient momentum
creation of
distractions in
escaping from
isolationism of
and productivity
customer service
D
Dalai Lama
deadlines
assessing
death
caused by overwork
delegating
depression
during unemployment
deputy
appointing
diets
dinner
“Blue Flag Day”
conversation
and etiquette
importance of
distress
Don't Send a Résumé and Other Contrarian Rules to Help Land a Great Job
(Fox)
donuts
downsizing.
See also
Unemployment effect on individual
driving habits
and blue-skying
and commuting(
See also
Commuting)
and eating
eating while driving
effects of and personal blur
Drucker, Peter
E
eating.
See also
Breakfast, Dinner,
Food, Lunch
assessing habits
on the road
while driving
eating habits
of French
education
Eisner, Michael
email
accountability and
addiction to
assessing practices
“badminton”
blue-skying as relief from
costs of
criticisms of
effect on emotions
fear of missing
immediacy of
and information overload
managing
morning practices
processing by brain
responding to after-hours
speed
staying in the loop
tips for writing effective
using software to organize
emotions.
See also
Anger, Fear
effect of email on
Endless Referrals
(Burg)
errors
and stress
Esperanto
etiquette
at dinner table
eustress
event-to-event thinking
exercise
benefits of slow
and blue-skying
boredom and
building muscle
commitment to
effects of
with music
optimal time of day
scheduling
and sleep
during unemployment
in the workplace
eye contact
and communication
importance of
eye movement