Michelle whistled softly. “Still, nobody knows?”
“One day—I know some people don’t believe in feelings—but this feeling of peace swept over me. It was like the Lord was telling me that He had forgiven me. It didn’t matter what people thought. ‘You don’t serve people, you serve Me,’ I could feel Him saying to me. It was forgiven and forgotten. And He wouldn’t ever bring it up again, because that sin—think about it, Michelle—that murder didn’t exist anymore. It was covered on Calvary.
“Now I tell people that I’m led to tell. You can’t tell everyone your business; lots of people aren’t strong enough and weren’t meant to carry your burden. But I don’t have to carry it anymore. There’s no more silent shame.”
Delores could hear them rustling in the booth. She held her breath and told her heart to slow its beating.
“I never would have imagined, Tonya.”
“That’s what I thought I recognized on Mrs. Judson the other day. That same kind of fear and deep sadness.”
Delores’s head jerked as though she had been slapped. Her cheeks reddened.
“Fear and sadness on Mrs. Judson?” Michelle laughed. “The Iron Maiden?”
Delores could feel her face grow warmer.
“Tonya, there’s no way Mrs. Judson could be struggling or sad. Girlfriend has enough money and enough bling-bling for everybody. Mrs. Judson’s white and she’s running things—ain’t no master on her back. What does
she
have to be upset about?”
Delores could feel the color draining from her face. She self-consciously lowered her glass.
“You know, Michelle, you’re right. Mrs. Judson has money, she’s in charge, and it doesn’t look like anybody’s breathing down her neck. But one thing I’ve learned—pain’s not prejudiced. Sorrow and grief don’t care if you’re red, yellow, white, black, or brown. You can be unhappy rich just as well as you can poor. And the only remedy I’ve ever found is available to all. That’s why I love the Lord so much. That’s why I keep getting on your nerves talking about Him.”
“Oh, Tonya, all that is over, okay?”
“The Lord really looked beyond my faults and saw my needs.”
Delores sat quietly. She was afraid to even breathe. Not more superstitious mumbo-jumbo.
“Tonya, it’s over about the books and everything. All this time that we’ve been meeting I’ve been looking at the books—taking peeks and reading little portions of them. I didn’t want you to know. But I feel guilty. It really wasn’t you. There are some things about my family . . . about my mother. I really don’t want to go into all the details. But there are some things . . .”
Michelle cleared her throat. “I got saved once. I believe in God. It’s just that I could never figure out how God could let that happen to me. How could He sit by and watch me be raped? I never knew my father . . . I still don’t know him and I haven’t been able to forgive my mother for letting it happen to me. I don’t understand why she would let that man talk to her that way, beat her, and then do what he did to me. Why she would let him use me? She knew it. My mother knew what he was doing to me. I can’t forgive her for pretending that her boyfriend didn’t . . . I was supposed to go along with it and pretend it didn’t happen. I was supposed to accept her worrying about him instead of me.”
Michelle spoke in hushed tones. “But I’ve been reading that Bible you gave me, Tonya. One day I asked God to help me. To answer me if He was listening to me. I picked up the Bible and it just opened to a page.” She sounded amazed. “There was this passage that caught my eye. I read it and now I can’t get it out of my head. ‘When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take care of me.’
6
It was the same passage you sent to me in the card, right? It had to be God, don’t you think? It
had
to be God, Tonya.”
Delores turned back to her coffee. She didn’t want to hear anymore. She didn’t understand it, but she just didn’t want to hear anymore.
When the two women left, Delores paid her check and quietly slipped from the booth as though nothing had happened.
T
hey knew that I was there!
Michelle and Tonya had followed her to the restaurant. They had to have known she was there. It was the only explanation. How else could they have known to say the things they did? They had misused her favor and betrayed her.
Delores paced back and forth in her office. She had been thinking about it all night. She had been thinking about it all day.
Could He or would He send someone over the wall?
It was too pat. It was the kind of thing that people believed and shouted about at tent meetings—and at revivals where the ministers spoke with Southern twangs and wore pomaded hair. There was no God that involved himself in anyone’s life.
If there
was
a God, why would He have been so concerned with Delores that He arranged for her to eat lunch in a restaurant she never frequented? Out of all the tables in the restaurant, why would an all-powerful God bother to have two women sit beside her—women who had stories that touched her life? Delores rubbed one hand back and forth on top of her head. She didn’t even believe. She wasn’t shouting about God or sending offerings. If there was a God, why would he be bothered with her?
Delores was a powerful person. She knew and had studied the behavior of powerful people. No person, let alone a god, would expend the energy it took to set up this afternoon’s coincidental little passion-filled play.
Those two women hated each other. She had seen and heard them arguing in the office herself. Something was going on; something was rotten in Denmark, and she was going to get to the root of it.
No one—least of all someone who worked for her—was going to make a fool of her. No one!
“I had an abortion.”
What kind of fool did they take her for? No one—not even a fool—was going to believe that Tonya had had an abortion. If they wanted to make it convincing, they should have let Michelle play that part.
“That’s what I thought I recognized on Mrs. Judson the other day. That same kind of fear and deep sadness.”
Fear and sadness? She wasn’t afraid of anyone and she wasn’t about to let life make her sad. Tonya had toyed with the wrong person. Delores would teach her what fear was all about.
And Michelle was going to be sorry.
“Why would she let him use me? She knew it. My mother knew what he was doing to me. I can’t forgive her for pretending . . .”
How convenient—did they actually expect her to believe that her Claudia and Michelle had lived the same life? She was going to make Michelle eat those words.
Delores didn’t know how they knew, but somehow Tonya and Michelle had discovered her secrets. They knew about Claudia and Carl Jr. They knew about the baby and the planned abortion. They knew she had been feeling uncertain. Maybe they had intercepted the signals from her cell phone. It really didn’t matter how they knew; the two of them knew and they were scheming to use it against her.
Tonya had probably intended to use the information against her when she came to her office that Monday morning for the meeting. They had planned, Delores deduced, to extort promotions from her for their silence.
Tonya and Michelle were working together against her . . .
“Pain’s not prejudiced . . .”
Maybe not, but something had brought the two of them together. Delores hadn’t built a successful business because she was foolish. She wasn’t about to let the two of them undo her.
Could He or would He send someone over the wall?
Delores sank into her chair. No one in her life had ever cared enough to go out of their way for her—not unless they wanted something from her. She had done everything for herself. She had made her own fortune. She had built her own family. Delores had learned early that she could only rely on herself.
Could He or would He send someone over the wall?
There was no one coming to save her—no knight in shining armor, no super hero, and certainly no caring, benevolent God. No one was coming to rescue her.
Delores rested her elbows on her desk and laid her head in her hands.
“My uncle is the father.”
Delores could see Claudia’s face and her trembling chin.
“Do you think it’s the right thing?”
Carl was bewildered and full of doubt. And she could see Carl Jr. All of it was on her. All of it. All of them were counting on her to make some sense of what was senseless. No one was coming over the wall. Delores was going to have to pull herself together. There was no Savior coming. The only answer was within her.
She reached for her buzzer and spoke to her receptionist. “Please send Tonya and Michelle to my office immediately. Thank you.”
W
hen Tonya and Michelle walked into Delores’s office they were all smiles and laughter. Delores played along. “It’s good to see that things are so much better between the two of you.” She smiled and nodded at both of them. “I just thought it was time for us to have a heart-to-heart about how things are going. Have a seat, won’t you?”
Tonya and Michelle sat down in the seats in front of her desk. They were just as sweet and innocent as lambs before the slaughter. Delores needed to do something to make them uncomfortable, to set them off balance. “Michelle, do you mind removing your sunglasses? I want each of us to look the others in the eye.” She forced warmth into her smile. “Like a visit between old friends.” She leaned back in her chair.
Michelle’s face registered embarrassment as she removed the shades. She turned her head and looked down.
“Michelle, is something wrong with your eye?” Delores was pleased with the compassionate tone of her voice.
Michelle shifted uneasily in her chair. “I had—I had an accident, Mrs. Judson.”
“Really? Did it happen here in the office?” She looked at Tonya. “Did you report it?” Then back at Michelle. “Would you like to talk about it?”
“No, Mrs. Judson, it wasn’t work related. It happened at home.”
“At home? Well, Michelle, you know we’re all family here. There’s nothing you can’t discuss with Tonya and me. Isn’t that right, Tonya?”
She was enjoying herself playing the magnanimous leader. It felt good toying with them.
“It’s all right, Mrs. Judson. We don’t need to talk about it.”
Delores smiled. “All right, if you’re certain.” She shuffled some papers on her desk. “Why don’t the two of you go ahead then and give me a status report?”
Tonya looked mildly confused but still confident. “I’ll go first if you don’t mind, Mrs. Judson.”
“You go right ahead, Tonya.”
“Well, Michelle and I have been meeting regularly and attempting to learn to communicate with each other more effectively.”
Delores smiled brightly. “That certainly seems to be working. You appear to be quite the little team.”
“It has been, Mrs. Judson. Since we began meeting, there haven’t been any more incidents between us in the office—in fact, neither one of us have been involved in any angry discussions with anyone in the office. The meetings have cleared the air.”
“Well, isn’t that wonderful. Do you think God might have done it?”
Tonya brightened. “Well, we both have been praying, Mrs. Judson. Thank you. Thank you for asking. I didn’t know—thank you for asking.”
“You didn’t know I was a religious woman? You’re right, I’m not. Of course, that may be why I’ve been looking fearful and deeply sad.”
Tonya’s smile faded.
“Anything else, Tonya?”
Tonya cleared her throat. “The other issues concerned tardiness and personal phone calls—neither of which is an issue anymore.”
“Are you sure of that, Tonya? I mean at this point, not yet two months later, can you say that tardiness and phone calls are not an issue? Or are you saying what you need to say to get your friend promoted?” Mrs. Judson smirked. “Why don’t you pray about that, while Michelle speaks?”
Michelle held two fingers to her face; they favored the mouse on her eye.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about that?” Delores pointed at Michelle’s face. “Was it a doorknob or something?”
Michelle’s face showed her agitation, but her voice sounded controlled. “No, Mrs. Judson, I don’t care to talk about it.”
“Well, why don’t we talk about why I shouldn’t fire you, then?”
The room was still for a moment. Then Tonya interrupted the silence. “Mrs. Judson, you said—you promised a two-month trial and that I had the authority to make the decision.”
“Well, I guess I changed my mind, Tonya. It is a woman’s prerogative, isn’t it? And I believe that I was addressing Michelle.” Delores turned her attention back to Michelle. “Tell me, Michelle, why I shouldn’t fire you?”
“Mrs. Judson—” Michelle looked at Tonya. “—I thought you were giving me a chance to improve my performance.” She looked back at Mrs. Judson. “I thought we were being open and honest with each other. I don’t understand.”
Delores stood up from her desk. “Open and honest? You mean open and honest like you were with me yesterday?” She was certain that her smile looked wicked. The spectacle had begun—she was going to shred them, bit by bit.
Tonya and Michelle looked at each other like they were confused, as though they didn’t understand. They were missing their calling in her office; they were quite the actresses.
“Are you feeling uncomfortable? The feeling is mutual. You know,
pain is not prejudiced.
”
The two women looked as though they were ready to stand and leave. “Oh, don’t leave yet. Your little charade is over. Did you actually think that I would fall for your little act?” Delores didn’t even try to hide her anger. “I don’t like betrayal and I like extortion even less.”
Tonya finally found words. “Mrs. Judson, I don’t understand.”
“I didn’t understand myself for a while. I tossed and turned about it. For a moment, I actually considered that some God might have intervened. But today, I faced the facts. You two connived to do this. You followed me to the restaurant and arranged to sit in the booth next to me. I heard everything. Everything! I don’t know how you know about my life, about what’s going on in my family, but you will
not
use it against me.” Delores shook her head. “What sickens me most is that you would use the information against me, to try to hurt me when I was attempting to help you.” She sneered at them. “Well, you two ladies should know that I have undone much more worthy opponents. You both made a big mistake this time.”