Hey, yo, the bun is dead.
Which old bun?
Tonya’s bun.
Hey, yo, the killer bun is dead!
Shadrach shook his head and covered his face.
It’s gone where the bad weaves go,
No mo’, no mo’ no mo’!
Hey-yo! Let’s get on up and sing out loud because . . .
Michelle grabbed the waiter when he passed by, again. “Dance, boy. Sing and bounce with me.”
Hey yo, the merry-oh,
It has died! It ain’t no mo’!
We’re singing cause the killer bun is dead!
The maitre d’ came to the table. “Ladies and gentleman, please. Is there some way that we can help you?”
Michelle’s delighted laughter rang in Ida’s ears.
“Miz Ida, when I told him what was going on and showed him how beautiful Tonya looked, the maitre d’ got caught up in it too! The next thing I knew, most of the folks in the restaurant were singing. We had a kind of congo-line thing going around the restaurant. Tonya was leading and laughing. You would have never recognized her. She was like a new person.”
Miz Ida laughed out loud trying to imagine the scene.
“It was crazy, Miz Ida. Poor Shadrach kept trying to hide out, but pretty soon, he was caught up in the whole thing, too.”
Miz Ida laughed with Michelle for a while. “That was a good thing you did, today, baby.”
“I didn’t do anything, Miz Ida. Tonya has done so much. It just seems like it happened suddenly. She told me she was going to start working out. And I laughed at first because she said she was just going to sneak in ten minutes or so here and there. But Miz Ida Tonya is looking good. Then after she killed that bun, I had to say something. I just had to. But that wasn’t all Miz Ida . . .”
By the time everything settled down in the restaurant, and Michelle and the others had returned to their booth, Tonya was smiling—she was actually glowing. “I want to thank both of you. You have made so much difference in my life. Even my son has noticed. I couldn’t see that I had just laid down and given up.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Thank you.”
Shadrach smiled and looked slightly uncomfortable. “That’s all right. Don’t worry, you’ll get the bill for my consulting fees.”
Michelle elbowed him. “Whatever, Shad.”
Tonya gave them both an effervescent smile.
Shad leaned forward. “So, now that you’re working on this new hair, this new look, and this new attitude, why don’t you take it all the way?” His eyes sparkled. “You could get you some spike heels.” He smiled. “Wine just gets finer with age, you know. I don’t know why women—especially church women—have to give up and start trying to make what still looks good look bad. A sister that’s taking care of herself can still pull off something that shows some curves, something that shows she’s still got it. The spirituality in a woman makes her more exciting. Now, if you can get the outside to where it’s pumping, too, then you got something. You could try something like Michelle wears. Maybe something short and spicy!”
Tonya blushed. “Oh, Shadrach, stop teasing me.” She lowered her voice. “I tell you what, though. If a man wants to be with me, he’s going to have to use a little imagination. The bun is dead. Michelle just made sure of that, so the hair is not an issue. He might be able to get a little higher heel out of me. But it ain’t but so tight and so short that I’m going, brother! I am not going to become some hoochie look-alike.”
Michelle laughed, then stopped and looked back and forth between them. “Wait a minute. Should I be offended?”
Shadrach and Tonya ignored her. Shadrach leaned back. “Well, Tonya, you’re right. A woman and a man both have to know who they are and what they want out of life. You know, like what they can tolerate and what they can’t.”
“For example?”
“Like, for example, a man can’t be with a woman who makes too much money. A woman has to think about a man’s ego.”
Tonya adjusted the way she was sitting on her side of the booth. “The thing is, Shadrach, I don’t know how I feel about that. I mean, suppose I get promoted—not that I’m going to because Mrs. Judson is still not speaking to me and Michelle. But if I did get promoted are you telling me that being successful could mean that a man might just fade out of my life?”
“Well, a man needs to be the leader, the provider, the head of the household. It’s a touchy subject with a man.”
“I can understand that.”
Michelle stared at Tonya. She had never heard her talk this way to a man. Even the timbre of Tonya’s voice changed—it was purring and smoky.
“I understand it, but don’t we have to grow beyond that kind of thinking? I mean, whatever money I have, God gave it to me. I wasn’t really seeking it. I didn’t have a plan in my life that I was even going to be working. God gave me this to bless me and take care of my needs and to bless people that are in my life. Are you telling me that because God blessed me I have to be lonely?”
“I’m just saying it’s a sticky situation with a man.”
“I hope that you’re not saying that I have to be lonely because I’m blessed. Because the Bible says that God’s blessing makes us rich and He adds no sorrow.
13
It would make me really sad if God put the perfect man for me in my life, but he rejected me because I was blessed. That wouldn’t make sense would it? That would make me sad—that would add sorrow.”
Shadrach stared into Tonya’s eyes. “No, it wouldn’t make sense, but it’s still a sticky situation with a man.”
“Maybe what a woman would need to do is to reassure her man that what gives him value in her life is not the coins in his pocket, but the richness of his character.”
Shadrach’s smile was slow and approving. “That might help.”
“Maybe what a real woman would need to tell a man, the real man in her life, is that she is striving to be a virtuous woman—a virtuous woman, like the woman in Proverbs Thirty-one.”
Shadrach was staring at Tonya as though Michelle wasn’t there. “I’ve heard a little bit about that. The virtuous woman is strong, wise, trustworthy, and supportive of her man.”
Tonya nodded. “But Shadrach, not only is the virtuous woman a spiritual blessing to her family, not only is she so much woman that her husband and her children praise her, she is also a wealthy woman. Now how can a man find fault with that?”
“I hear that. It sounds like a good thing, believe me, but I just don’t know how it plays out in the real world, Tonya.”
“Well, the Lord didn’t have trouble traveling with wealthy women. He visited their homes and they supported his ministry.”
“It’s still a hard thing for a man. A man needs to be in control.”
Tonya smiled. “Well, a man needs to know the heart of the woman that he’s thinking about marrying. He should know, if he’s going to be with her, that the key to his authority in her life is not his platinum credit card. He needs to know that he is her king because of her admiration for the generosity of his wise and understanding heart. He is her lover because of his intelligence, which is spirit led and without price. A woman would have to reassure her blessed man that he is her husband because she has found him to be her match—body and soul. I think that a blessed man and a blessed woman would have to believe that the spirit of the Lord would intercede and work out the rest.”
Michelle looked at Shad. What had just happened? Shadrach grunted. “Why do women always ask questions to just tear down your answers in favor of their own?”
Michelle fell silent for a moment, and Ida waited. She knew the story wasn’t over.
“Miz Ida, I was looking at those two people and I think I just disappeared. For a minute, I got this funny feeling. You know, like I wanted to say something or do something to make Shadrach pay attention to me. He’s a nice man, you know. I was thinking for a minute, why would he want her instead of me.”
“That was just the old Michelle talking. You know, the old Michelle that just needed attention from any man. You’re not that woman anymore.”
Michelle’s voice sounded as though she had just discovered she had some new treasure. “You’re right, Miz Ida. I’m not that woman anymore. And it came to me that Tonya is my friend. I never was able to say that before about a woman, but Tonya is my friend. I want her to be happy. She and Shadrach would make a good match. So I didn’t have to try to get his attention.”
“No, you’re not a needy woman. Michelle, you’re a blessed woman.”
“I am blessed, Miz Ida.”
“Not only are you blessed, but you’re blessing others—because you blessed that woman today. Yes, you did, baby. You made that woman laugh. It ain’t no telling how long it’s been in her life since she had a good stomach laugh. Michelle, you were a blessing to her. People think the only way to bless someone is to hand out money or material gifts. Don’t ever let anybody tell you that you’re nothing, again. From here on out, you sing a song for yourself. God has blessed you to be a blessing!”
“Besides that, Miz Ida, when Tonya was talking to Shad, I thought about Todd.” Michelle’s voice was lighthearted and full of amazement. “You know, Miz Ida, I do love Todd. Through all that’s been going on he’s stood by me. And I love him for the very reasons that Tonya was saying. All this time I’ve been listening to crazy stuff—that a man is something just because he has money, because he is fine, or because he’s supposed to be some kind of super lover.”
Miz Ida could feel herself blushing. “Well, do tell?”
“Today, Miz Ida, I realized I been listening to the wrong people. I been listening to women who don’t know no more than I do—maybe even less. I been listening to women because they’re famous instead of because they’re wise. I been listening to them, and I’ve been about to throw my good thing away. Now ain’t that nothing?”
“That’s nothing, baby.”
“Tonya’s right. I love Todd because he is wise and understanding. He is a good man and he loves me. He is a man of God, Miz Ida, and he’s been praying for me and singing God’s songs to me. He is my match body and soul.”
“All right, now, Michelle! I think we’re getting somewhere.”
“That’s just it, Miz Ida.
Now
I know and I hope it’s not too late.”
When she and Michelle had said their goodbyes, Miz Ida hung up the telephone. “Lord, my Lord.” She waved her hand in the air. “My Lord, have Your way. Hallelujah!”
M
iz Ida rocked back and forth with the tiny baby in her arms. He wrapped his little fingers, the nails so miniscule and translucent, around hers. Miz Ida talked to him. “You’re a strong little fella, aren’t you? The way you’re holding my finger, you’re going to grow up to be another Samson. Yes, you are.”
As she rocked him, Miz Ida recalled the first time she had walked in the Children’s House of Peace. When her feet hit the black rubber of the sensor pad that automatically opened the door, she had thought about turning back. She hadn’t known anyone at the center. She hadn’t even known too much about what she was trying to do.
She had stopped at the information desk and got the directions, then taken the elevator to the fourth floor and followed the red line to the high-risk nursery unit. She was a little nervous—people told her it was time for her to settle down, she didn’t need to be pushing herself—but the children needed somebody. She had heard it on the TV and then read about them in the newspaper—border babies. The Children’s House of Peace was a haven for them.
They were babies born to mothers who were HIV positive or who had AIDS.
“Some of the babies who are born test HIV positive because babies carry the immune system of their mothers. Many times, though, when their own immune systems begin to function those same babies become HIV negative,” the nurse that worked with volunteers had told her. “People are so afraid of them. We need people who have hearts big enough to care. We need people who have love that will overcome their fear.”
Miz Ida loved rocking baby José. They had been meeting twice a week since she first came. “We always try to assign the babies to the same volunteers because we hope that they will get even some small sense of normalcy in their lives,” the nurse said. “Some of the babies are with us because their moms are in jail and there’s no one else to care for them. Some, like José, have mothers who are just too ill to care for them. Whatever the reason they’re here, they need love. Most of them got here because the people before them lived lives without enough love. We’re trying to draw the line in the sand for these babies right here.”
They needed love and Miz Ida had plenty to give. When she held José, she couldn’t help but think about Michelle. Not many people would ever have thought that child would make it. Not many politicians or social scientists would have predicted that Michelle would have become the woman that she was. When she met Michelle, the girl was what they called now
“at risk.”
Hallelujah! Michelle had made it over, but there were plenty other children in need.
Miz Ida came out twice a week because her soul was fat. She had heard lots of good preaching, had lots of good teaching, and she regularly studied the Word. She was full. She was so full, one tiny touch from the Lord, one iota of the Lord’s goodness just made her cup of tears overflow. The folks already in the church, Miz Ida felt, were healed or on their way to healing. There were lots of folks—grown-ups, babies, and children—on the outside, though, who were starving.
“We’ve come to worship and now we leave to serve,” her pastor always said after the benediction.
You can’t feed the hungry sitting in your living room,
Miz Ida told herself. Starving folks didn’t always have the strength to make it to church, so Miz Ida figured it was her duty to go to them.
There was nothing about Michelle, about José, or about any of the babies at the House of Peace that God couldn’t handle. Miz Ida knew the Lord could do whatever needed to be done. So she didn’t spend a lot of time, when she held José, praying for God to heal him. That was settled and done as far as Miz Ida was concerned.
The reason she came to visit José twice a week was to hold him, to love and serve a new life that needed her. But she also came to pray about broken hearts. Miz Ida figured that broken hearts were about the hardest thing, it seemed, to mend. So she prayed every week for all the children who didn’t know their fathers or who only saw them once in a blue moon. She rocked José and prayed for all the children who didn’t know their mothers, or who felt that their mothers had made the choice to give them away. She prayed for all the families separated by crime, by war, and by death.