Crag’s eyes met hers, burning with desire and the same desperate need she felt. Again it struck her how much they were alike, she and the
Zaltanian
.
“Lily,” he whispered, his body covering hers. She felt him slip inside her, filling her with his hard, warm flesh.
For a moment, neither moved. His breath was warm and quick against her neck. Every muscle in his body felt tense.
"I never want this to end," he whispered, pressing his body even closer to hers.
Neither did she, but their bodies wouldn't listen to their emotional desires. He thrust into her with long, slow strokes. Lily grasped his shoulders and hooked her legs over his, pressing him deep inside her. His thrusts became short and fast and she knew it was as difficult for him to keep silent as it was for her. Gripping his sides, she felt his heart knock against her palms, its pace so frantic she doubted he could last much longer. The idea of being caught was nearly as arousing as the sexual act itself and had pushed both of them to the edge of control. Lily's pulse raced and she tightened her grip on him.
Suddenly his thrusts slowed, teasing her with long sweeps that left her aching on the edge of orgasm with each stroke. He certainly wasn't making it any easier to remain quiet and not draw attention to themselves. His hips thrust fast again. This time he didn't stop. Lily's mouth opened in a silent shriek as her pussy clenched and pulsed around his cock. His motions slowed again, extending her orgasm to the last marvelous ripple.
Lily had expected him to come fast. Instead he continued his steady thrusts. The sensations felt almost too wonderful to her stimulated flesh. Another orgasm built slowly inside, forming a tight ball of heat in her pelvis. His thick, hard cock, slick with her juices, drove in deep then pulled out almost to the tip before rushing back in. Crag's mouth covered hers, his tongue thrusting in time with his hips. He absorbed her cry when she came, squeezing him tightly as she quivered and pulsed. Rather than slowing his movements, he increased them, grinding into her, stroking and licking her shoulder and neck. The rough fabric of his tunic stimulated her excited nipples. Crag grasped her buttocks with one hand, hauling her even closer as he thrust. Lily exploded in a third orgasm, short but intense.
As the sensations waned, her body felt aflame. The excitement of their precarious position behind the curtain was so incredibly exciting and the sensations of their bodies so intense that she wondered how he managed to keep control of his passion.
Lily opened her eyes halfway and felt a new stab of desire. Crag's eyes were closed, his expression tense. The tip of his tongue flicked once over his kiss bruised lips. Perspiration misted his forehead, a droplet running down one of his temples and streaking his cheek. As his thrusting quickened, his head arched slightly, tendons and veins standing out beneath the moistening flesh of his neck. She sensed he was holding his pleasure at bay as he sought to give her another climax.
“Crag,” she murmured, raising her hips and locking her legs tighter around his waist. Though incredibly aroused, her orgasm was slower in arriving. She felt his excitement and wondered if he'd last long enough for her to reach a fourth, greedy peak, knowing that when it happened, it would surpass all others.
"Almost," she whispered, "Oh, Goddess don't stop! Just a little more!"
Before her eyes fluttered closed, she noticed an expression of pleasure/pain cross his face. His nostrils flared slightly and a shiver ripped down his spine as he slowed his movements. He pulled out to the tip of his cock, then swept down. Lily's mouth opened in a silent shriek as an orgasm tore through her, so intense it was almost agony.
Crag stiffened, surging and trembling as he came so hard he collapsed on top of her. His hot body pinned hers to the blanket. Lily's hands rested on his back, feeling his fast breathing and his heart pounding.
As she recovered, Lily’s stomach lurched. Again! She’d made love with him again, and worse, she'd been
desperate
for it. What kind of a woman was she?
She pushed him gently, and he lifted his head, his eyes almost drowsy following such a powerful release of desire. He stroked wisps of hair from her face. “Should we pretend this didn’t happen, too?”
“I am a horrible person,” she muttered, more to herself than to him.
His brow furrowed. “What?”
“My daughter is dead and you and I—“
“Lily, you’re not horrible. You’re a human being. I’m the disgrace.”
“Why you?” It was her turn to look surprised. From what she could see, he’d done nothing except act upon his normal male urges. He hadn’t forced her. Quite the contrary. She’d wanted him, though she hated herself for it.
“I took a vow of abstinence when I joined the Order. Until marriage, Knights aren’t supposed to bed women. I’ve broken so many of my vows, Lily. First by disobeying Sir Rain, and now with you. I didn’t mean to take advantage of you, but I—“
“You didn’t take advantage.”
He drew a deep breath and caressed her face. “I felt if I didn’t get some kind of release I’d go insane.”
Lily took his hand and squeezed it. “I know. That’s just how I felt. I won’t tell anyone what we’ve done, Crag.”
“I’m not worried about that.”
“I am.
Vina’s
dead,” she said, as if that explained everything.
A strange emotion flickered in his eyes. For a moment, she thought her implication had hurt his feelings, then his face returned to its usual stony expression.
“Healer! I need a healer!” a man bellowed from somewhere in the longhouse.
Crag muttered a curse but straightened immediately and adjusted his clothes.
“Do you want me to help you?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Get some sleep.”
As his warm body left hers, Lily felt empty. She'd loved being in his arms again. Through her own guilt, it had never occurred to her that Crag might have felt just as wretched by their impulsive lovemaking. She had no idea Knights took a vow of celibacy – at least until after marriage. Still, she didn’t blame Crag one bit for breaking some of his vows. He’d been stuck in this hell hole for so long, just as Lily had endured her own pain and sorrow. They were just two people in need of escape, clinging to each other out of instinct for emotional survival.
Lily sighed as she snuggled deeper into the blankets. If that was the truth, then why did she still feel so damn guilty?
Two days later, light snow began falling, driving most of the villagers and the Knights not on guard duty indoors. Lily was helping Crag clean and rearrange the herbs and mixtures in the healers’ space when one of the Knights apprentice joined them.
“Crag, Sir Wood and Sir Rain want to see you. Something about the reinforcements—”
Before the apprentice had finished speaking, Crag hurried out of the house, forcing Lily and the apprentice to run to keep up with his long strides. By the well, Wood and Rain spoke with another Knight draped in a long wool robe covered with frost from traveling. The pushed-down hood revealed wavy auburn hair cut just below his ears. Even from the respectful distance Lily kept from the Knights, she noticed the man’s large eyes were of the palest blue she’d ever seen. Just beneath a hawkish nose, a reddish brown growth of beard dusted his face.
“Crag, this is Sir Blaze,” Rain said.
Crag bowed his head in deference. Earlier, he’d told Lily what little he knew about Sir Blaze. Apparently, the redhead was the leader of a small faction of the Ruby Order that placed healing above all else. They never carried weapons, though they used their healing skills in the thick of battle. Blaze himself was the leader of the healing arts for all the Order, and he held a high rank, just below the second-in-command of all the Knights. Crag had also said it was rumored Sir Blaze spoke with the dead and had visions. Crag himself didn’t seem to believe the story, and Lily found it difficult to accept as well.
“Jagged Peak.” Blaze offered Crag a slight smile.
Crag looked confused. “Sir?”
“Jagged Peak…
Rough
Mountain
…
Crag.”
Crag stared at the Knight who paid no attention to the apprentice’s uneasy expression and continued, “I’m told you’ve tossed your blade to the furnace. You’ve decided to walk weaponless among armies of steel.”
“If you mean I no longer want to carry a weapon, that’s true,” Crag said.
“Was this decision rash or pondered?”
Crag looked thoughtful. “Rash at first, but I’ve thought about it since and my feelings haven’t changed.”
“You wish to wear the green sash?”
“Green sash?”
Blaze opened the folds of his cloak, revealing his black uniform beneath, a silky green sash about his narrow waist. “The symbol of madmen, according to many of our Order.”
Rain laughed. “We can’t argue there, Blaze. There’s no way I’d march into the front lines without my sword.”
Several Knights apprentices approached.
“Sir, may I ask if you’ve brought reinforcements?” asked one of the healers.
“Only myself.” Blaze opened his arms wide, his expression almost apologetic. Lily smiled. He certainly didn’t seem like a man who wielded the power she knew he possessed. In spite of his odd manner of speaking, Blaze seemed pleasant, approachable. “I traveled from the south, and I fear battles thrive there. Five of the green sash and ten of our finest armed healers rode with me, but were detained. However there are fresh supplies on my beast.”
“Fifteen healers?” Sir Wood shook his head. “And only you could come to us, Sir? The war must be worse than we thought.”
“Even the spirits are restless.” Blaze sighed, his smile fading. “Six miles from here is a settlement of men reaching death. Without care, they cannot be moved here. I need two volunteers, preferably a healer or an apprentice who’s completed his healing service, to join me. We must lend aid and speed the wounded here or guide them comfortably to the world beyond.”
All the apprentices, including Crag lifted their hands. Lily knew to him anything would be better than staying another night in the longhouse.
Blaze glanced over the group, and his eyes fell on Crag and a young Knight apprentice beside him. “You’ll both do well. Ready yourselves. We leave within the hour.”
The Knights dispersed, and Blaze turned to Lily. Her hands fidgeted, as his eyes seemed to read her very soul. He approached. “Water Flower they say is your name.”
“Lily,” she murmured. “My name’s Lily.”
He nodded. “Water Flower. Those you love are with you still. They won’t wander without leaving a message. A husband and daughter.”
Her heart pounded and tears stung her eyes. “What are you talking about? Why are you doing this to me?”
“Forgive me.” He placed his gloved hand to her cheek. “My words aren’t meant to wound. I speak with all of them… ” He drew a deep breath, as if searching for the words. “With those beyond. Your daughter sleeps in your husband’s arms. Their suffering is no more, nor do they want you to suffer but to find happiness with whomever you choose.”
“You can really talk to them?” Lily’s entire body tingled with a combination of shame and hope. If the spirits of the dead could indeed see the actions of the living, her husband must know about her and Crag. Was Blaze’s message her husband’s way of relieving her guilt?
“In truth, they talk to me. I merely interpret.” He smiled and shook his head. “Stubborn. They say what they want, but rarely listen. At least not to me.”
“But they’re happy?”
He nodded. “They’re at peace. I must go. Work to be done. Nice to have finally met you, Water Flower. They’ve been speaking of you for miles, your child and your husband. Nearly ran my horse into a frozen lake. Spirits don’t realize how loud they can be,” Blaze murmured to himself as he walked toward the longhouse.
He’s either mad or some sort of prophet
, Lily told herself. Regardless of what he was, his words did offer comfort.
Inside, she helped Crag pack supplies for his journey.
“He said he spoke with
Vina
and my husband,” she said.
“Sir Blaze? Perhaps.” Crag lowered his voice. “He’s very strange.”
“But he seems sweet.”
Crag tossed her a look which said any man who’d sustained such a high position in the Order couldn’t possibly be sweet.
“He said—“
“What?”
“Nothing,” Lily murmured. Just because she might be free to act on her attraction to Crag didn’t mean he had the same privileges. By making love with her, he’d broken his vows, and unless she became his wife – something for which she had no inclination – their intimacy must be kept secret, or better yet, never occur again.
He slipped into a worn wool robe and slung his leather bag over his shoulder. He said, “One of the Knights apprentice will act as healer here until I return, and Sir Wood will also be around the settlement.”
“Good luck, Crag,” she said.
He nodded, offering a half smile, his eyes burning into hers. Before he swept out of the longhouse, he bent and quickly kissed her cheek. The softness of his lips and roughness of his beard felt so pleasantly familiar that she wished for a longer kiss, preferably on the mouth. She sighed, watching from the doorway as Crag, Blaze, and the Knight apprentice disappeared over the snowy hillside.