She shivered. There would be no more sleep for her. Instead, Cree tried to sit up.
Cameron came out of the bathroom to see her face scrunched up in pain. He rushed over to her side. “Hey…let me help you.”
Cree warned him off. “No. I got it. I'm all right.”
Disappointed, he dropped his arms to his sides. “Should I call the nurse?”
She shook her head no. “But, could you get me some water, please?”
He was desperate to do anything, so he picked up the pitcher of water on the bedside table and poured her a glass.
“Can you hold it with your wrist?”
She still couldn’t look him in the eyes, so she continued to keep her gaze low. “I think so.”
Cameron handed her the cup and watched intently as she drank all of it. She could feel his eyes on her. The scrutiny was too much. When she finished, Cree handed the cup back to him. Their fingers touched briefly.
She laid her head back against the pillows as she slowly inhaled. She whispered, “I’m ready to go home, Cameron.”
He was relieved. Cameron would rather be home dealing with this too. “As soon as Dr. Levinson gives us the go ahead, I promise, I’ll take you home.”
Nervously, Cree swallowed. “No, Cameron. I want to go
home
. When I leave this hospital, I want to go back to Henrickson. I can’t go back to that apartment.”
The pace of his heart rate picked up. “Alright. I’ll let the hospital know that I'm taking some time off, and we’ll go back home for a little while.”
Cree focused on a scratch that was etched into the footboard of the bed. She still couldn’t face Cameron, not just yet. “Can you get the nurse? I could use something for the pain.”
“Yes. I’ll do anything for you.” He let his words hang in the air hoping she’d look at him just once, but she didn’t. After a moment, Cameron turned on his heels to get her nurse.
*****
Within a half an hour, Cree was in a deep sleep. Cameron sat in the same chair, head bent low, staring at his shoes.
The hospital door crept open and a small woman, in a white lab coat, no more than five feet tall walked towards him. “Dr. Jacobs?”
Cameron quickly stood. “Yes. I’m Dr. Jacobs.” He looked protectively back at Cree then back at the woman.
She extended her hand. “I’m Dr. Stevenson. I’m a psychologist and the crisis manager counselor who has been assigned to your wife’s case.” She looked over towards Cree. “How is she holding up?”
Cameron rubbed his forehead. “Not too well. And, to be honest, neither am I.”
“That’s understandable. There are a lot of dynamics going on here.”
“I haven’t been able to get her to even look at me.” Frustrated he ran his fingers through his hair. “I…I…just want to help her. I know I didn’t protect her when she needed it the most, but I want her to know…I am here now.”
She gently touched his shoulder. “I’m sure she knows that you just want to help, Dr. Jacobs. However, right now, she’s still in shock. Both you and your wife have to understand, this wasn’t either of your faults. This was the sole fault of the man who savagely attacked her.”
“I keep trying to tell myself that. But, the bottom line is that I wasn’t there when it happened. I didn’t protect her from this.”
“Again, if I have to keep reminding you, then I will. This situation isn’t your fault Cameron. I can’t reiterate that enough. And, Cree is going to need some time to absorb everything that happened to her long after she physically heals. You’re going to have to pull on patience you never knew you had. She will push you away and possibly try to withdraw into herself.” Dr. Stevenson pulled a card out of her pocket. “I’m going to give you my card. My hope is that you both spend some time with me, or someone like me to help you deal with all the different emotions I’m sure you’re feeling.”
Cameron accepted her card. “Thank you.”
She nodded. “I’ll try to stop by later after she wakes up to speak with her.”
“Thanks again.”
*****
Cameron had no idea how long he watched Cree sleep. It was, however, long enough for his neck and back to ache unmercifully.
His cell phone vibrated. Again, not to disturb Cree, Cameron got up and walked away toward the window in her room to talk.
“Hey.”
“It’s David. We’re here.”
Cameron checked his watch. They literally must have left almost immediately in order to drive here this quickly.
“Here where?”
“In the hospital parking garage.”
He sighed. “I’m fairly confident, she doesn’t want to see anyone. But, come on up to the waiting room anyway. You guys might have to sit there for a while before I can ask her if she’s up to visitors. She’s having a difficult time resting, and I don’t want to wake her.”
“That’s cool. We’ll be right up.”
Cree stirred then screamed. “Nooooo!”
“I…I’ve got to go.” Cameron immediately hung the phone and quickly went over to her. “I’m here baby.”
It took Cree a moment to realize where she was as her eyes darted around the room. She visibly relaxed after realizing she’d been dreaming.
Cameron held her hand. This time she didn’t pull away.
“I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Cree.
Nothing
. If you won’t listen to me, then maybe you’ll listen to your grandfather.”
For the first time since she’d been hurt, Cree looked him in the eyes. “Wh…what?”
“Yeah. David and Melody hopped in their car yesterday and drove all night and day to bring him.”
“My grandfather’s here?”
Cameron nodded. “They should be in the waiting room.”
She touched her face, and a fresh round of tears came. “Please, can you get him?”
He kissed her fingers. “I’ll be right back.”
Cameron left the room. His eyes were so tired that his vision was blurry. He made it to the waiting room and as soon as he entered, David and Melody rushed him. Mr. Watson was a little slower.
Melody was beside herself. “How is she? How are you? I can’t believe this Cameron!”
“Me either.”
Her eyes were wide with curiosity. “What happened?”
He took a deep breath. “Cree was doing laundry in the laundry room of our building. She was alone, and the bastard took advantage of the opportunity.”
Melody’s eyebrows knitted together. “I thought your building was secured?”
“It is. He lived down the hall from us. Luckily, another neighbor walked in on them and stopped it. He beat the shit out of him. Sorry, Mr. Watson.”
He was old but had he caught that man hurting his grand-daughter, hell would have been a safer place for him. “No apology necessary. I wouldn’t expect any less. How is she?”
Cameron folded his arms. “You know Cree. She’s trying her best to be brave. But, she’s asking for you.”
“Then show me the way to my baby.”
Quietly, they walked back to the room. Before they went inside, Cameron turned to him. “Mr. Watson. I promised you I’d protect her and I’m sorry I didn’t.”
He frowned. “Cameron you can’t take the blame for this. It was about as much your fault as it was Cree’s. The blame…” His voice almost failed, “The responsibility for hurting Cree lays squarely with the man who did it. Are we clear on that?”
Cameron shook his head. “Thank you, sir.” He knew that in his head but wasn’t able to reconcile it in his heart.
After a moment to collect themselves, Cameron announced to Cree that he’d returned with her grandfather then pushed the door open.
Cree sat up stiff as a board. As soon as she saw her grandfather though, she burst into tears. He went to her with outstretched arms and held her as she cried.
Cameron didn’t know how to feel knowing Cree had only allowed him to hold her hand, while she let her grandfather hold her. However, each one of her sobs and every sniffle wore on his heart.
Her grandfather held her close as he buried his face in her soft bushy hair. He allowed her to release everything she was feeling in the comfort of his arms.
They sat that way for about an hour when finally she was able to relax enough to fall into a restful sleep.
Mr. Watson looked up at Cameron with sympathetic eyes. “Why don’t you go back to your apartment and take a shower and grab a change of clothes for both of you. I’m sure you haven’t been home since this happened, and she’ll need a change of clothing too if they release her today.”
Cameron didn’t want to leave, but Mr. Watson was right. Cree was in a hospital issued gown, and the rest of her clothing had been kept by the police. He knew she felt safe with her grandfather being there so now was probably the best time to run home.
He scratched his head. “You’re right. I’ll get going and get back as soon as I can.”
Cameron rode with Melody and David back to his apartment. Since they had been driving all night, David decided to give Cameron the keys to the car. Cameron could go back to the hospital while he and Melody got cleaned up and rested for a little while.
While he was gone, Cameron took the opportunity to take a quick shower, shaved, and threw on a fresh pair of sweat pants and a Presbyterian t-shirt. He’d also contacted his superiors at the hospital about taking some time off. Cameron would have to figure out how to break their lease, but he could worry about that later. Right now, he just needed to do whatever he could to make Cree feel safe. Cameron had moved at breakneck speed so that he could get back to the hospital as quickly as possible.
Cameron arrived back at the hospital just as Dr. Stevenson was leaving Cree’s room. They stood in the hallway before he went inside. “Dr. Jacobs, I’m glad I caught you before I left for the day. I had a chance to speak with your wife.”
She tried to smile soothingly. “This situation would be hard for anyone, but I have a strong feeling about her. She’ll get through this and so will you. Just keep in mind, it won’t be without its challenges.”
He nodded.
“Cree mentioned going back to Henrickson for a while. I’ve recommended a close colleague of mine who recently relocated to Jackson, Louisiana. That is about half an hour to an hour away from where you live. Her name is Mika Laurel, and she’s excellent at what she does. So, if you decide to use her for your grief counseling while you’re there, I know you’ll be in good hands.”
Cameron didn’t think they would need Dr. Laurel. He hoped they wouldn’t be back in Henrickson for any longer than a week, or so. When they came back, he’d set up an appointment with her. “I can’t thank you enough Dr. Stevenson.”
“No thanks is necessary. Just breathe and every day, do the best you can.”
He dropped his duffel bag of clothes on the floor so that he could shake her hand. Before she left, she gave him a bit of parting advice. “Remember what I said, you’ll need to pull on patience that goes beyond all understanding. But, I know you can do it.” With that she walked away.
Her words sounded ominous. He wondered what she and Cree had discussed. He hoped he’d get some answers from Cree.
Cameron picked his bag from off the floor, and hoisted Cree’s bag back over his other shoulder before it slipped off and went inside. He had filled Cree’s bag with what he thought was enough clothing for their trip. Cameron hoped that he had packed most of her favorite things. If he forgot anything, he’d just have to run back to the apartment to get it. He would have to stop back to pick up David and Melody anyway. However, one thing he’d learned never to forget was the coconut oil Cree always used for her hair.
That brought a small smile to his face. Her hair was the first thing Cameron noticed about her after transferring to Henrickson High School. Cameron would never forget that day. He was lost and looking for a class when he spotted Cree searching for something in her locker. He couldn’t actually see her because she was hidden behind it, but he saw her hair. It peeked out from behind those hideous orange lockers.
Most of the girls at the private school he’d attended had silky straight maybe even curly hair. More often than not, it was blonde or brunette or some variation of the two, but Cree stood out even back then when she was just really starting to grow out her afro. Although it wasn’t nearly as big as it was now, she still owned that look.
Unlike his previous school, where you could count the number of people of color on one hand, Henrickson was mixed. He’d seen other girls who wore their hair natural, but there was just something special about Cree. The minute she closed that locker and looked at him with those big brown eyes, Cameron knew he was a goner.
His smile widened as he reminisced. He’d loved those special moments where he would hold her close and press his face into her hair just to get a whiff of it…and of her. Her scent had always been so soothing and calming. He prayed, her favorite things would be just as soothing and calming to her too.
When Cameron went into her room, she was alone. He dropped their bags on the floor by the bed. “Hey, I got back as soon as I could. Has Dr. Levinson been here to release you?”
Cree glanced at their bags then cleared her throat. “Not yet.” Nervously, she twisted the sheets in her hands. “Cameron…we need to talk.”
Hesitantly, he sat down in the chair next to the bed. “All right.”
She swallowed. “When I go home…I need to go alone.”
It took a moment for him to understand what she was saying. Then, panic almost set in before remembering what Dr. Stevenson said. “Cree, don’t do this. Don’t push me away. I know you blame me. I have to figure out how to forgive myself for letting this happen, but we can get through this. It’s us; we’re a team, partners in crime remember?”
Cree raised defiant eyes to his. Maybe it was misplaced anger but she snapped in angry hushed tones. “
Damn it
. Cameron for once this isn’t about you or us. This is about
me
and what I need. And, what I need is some time to deal with
everything
that has happened to
me
. My life is in free fall and I…I can’t find anything solid to land on.”
He reached out for her, but she backed away. It hurt. Patience. This is what Dr. Stevenson was talking about. Patience. Cameron responded, “That’s what I’m here for Cree. I can be the strength you need.”
What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to just let her leave? Hell no. He couldn’t.