Crown's Chance at Love (31 page)

He comes over and stands behind her and places one of his huge hands on her shoulders.

I look at them realizing they seem a little nervous which makes me a little nervous about what they have to announce. Was something wrong with the baby? With Cara? Concern must have shown on my face because Mike came over to me placing his big strong warm hands on my shoulders. Then I realize everyone has gathered around, concerned looks on everyone of us.

“Hey can we get everyone’s attention?” Jerry says and everyone gathers around closer. My mom looks as concerned as I feel;  my dad is standing by her holding her hand.

“So we went to the doctor’s this week and she gave us some pretty big news. Something that kind of changes our game plan a little bit,” Cara says, her face a little pale.  My heart stands still a bit and I feel Mike squeeze my shoulders in support.

Cara looks at Jerry and she nods at him to continue, “The doctor found something a little different. Two heart beats. We are having TWINS!” Cheers and congratulations immediately begin and my eyes get teary. My baby sister is having twins.

“Wait that’s not all… Cara baby, tell them,” he says as he leans in and kisses her forehead.

“They are girls!” she says her face beaming in radiance and exuding sheer genuine happiness.

Hugs and kisses were given. The sheer look of happin falls over my parents’ face, and the idea of my nieces made me tear up. Everyone is hugging the expectant parents and grandparents. The kids are completely excited about the idea of their future little cousins.

Once we all settle down, I go into my mom’s kitchen to grab the desserts I had picked up from Izzy Tizzy’s , and start the coffee. Standing in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to be ready, thinking about possible baby shower themes for Cara and Jerry, I felt his arms come and wrap around my waist. His arms strong holding me tight, I could not help but smile like an idiot.

“There you are…” he says his goatee slightly touching my ear, sending shivers down to my toes. “I have been dying to hold you in my arms from the moment I showed up,” he says softly into my ear; I close my eyes and sigh happily.

“I like when you hold me close,” I whisper.

“I wasn’t sure how touchy feely friends were allowed to be at your parents’ house,” he whispers into my ear and I laugh.

His head is on the crook of my neck, and he feels great there. He made me feel a safety I didn’t even realize I had been missing. I had grown so accustomed to just being on my own these last few years that his touch was a thirst I wasn’t sure I could quench. I turn to look at him and his eyes like always, were cautious almost a little weary, and I couldn’t help but frown.

“What’s wrong?” I ask. He looks worried and serious, and for a moment I think maybe making him come today might have somehow overwhelmed him.

“Your family is unlike any that I have been around,” he says, his voice genuine and sincere. I smile.

“Is that a good thing or bad thing?” I ask smiling trying to lighten whatever is darkening his mood.

“Both,” he answers and I raise an eyebrow, a little surprised by his answer.

His hand caresses my face, his thumb tracing my lower lip, and I get lost in the sensation from his touch, slowly drowning in his eyes.

“You deserve so much better than me Sabrina, “ he says hoarsely and I frown.

“Why do you say that Mike?” I ask my voice almost a whisper as my heart beats hard.

“Because if you really knew me, you wouldn’t like me. You sure as hell wouldn’t be bringing me around your family, letting me share in your special time with them.” His voice grave, his eyes never leaving mine.

“I thought that’s what we were doing Mike… we are getting to know one another. From what I know, I like… a lot,” I tell him honestly and watch his face as he soaks in my words.

They were true. Everything I had seen of him showed me he was a good man. He worked hard, but made sure to know how to balance working and having a life. He was sweet and caring, and from what I could tell I was one of the things he cared about. He wasn’t pushy or arrogant, he was funny and sweet, and if I wasn’t careful, I could see myself falling deeper for him than I already was.

***

Mike

Anytime I saw her, blood always seemed to rush south making me ache for her. Watching her with her family didn’t change a thing. It almost felt as if everything she did made me fucking want her. Shit all she had to do was breathe and I was walking around like a freaking thirteen year old kid going through puberty. But my need for her as I watched how she interacted with her family was a different type of need.

It was primal. Desperate.

Having been introduced as her friend had stung. But that’s what I was. I couldn’t let it go further until she knew the truth. If I had acted differently that October morning things would been so different. I wouldn’t be standing here, and Sean would be alive. Sean was dead because of me.

Watching her stand in front of me, I wished so badly that everything was different, that it wasn’t all so fucked up. So fucked up, I wasn’t sure there was a way of this ending the way I would want it to. I had been in her life for three months now and every damn day since bumping into her, I woke up thinking about her. Reaching for her. My skin itching to touch hers. My body craving to know what it felt like to have her skin to skin, completely. To bury myself in her heat so deep I wouldn’t know where she ended and I began.

I knew what sleeping next to her was like. I’d been lucky enough to have her in my bed three nights now. But I wanted more. I wanted to stake a claim, make her mine, feel her sleep in my arms every fucking day of the rest of my life. It wasn’t only a sexual need, even though that did play in my feelings. I wanted to be able to make her smile and laugh. I wanted to be her partner. Help raise the kids, be there in the big moments life brought. I worried what that need meant. I had thought that I was falling for her, but when I hadn’t been paying attention I had fallen completely in love with her and her kids. Now I worried how I would be able to live life knowing they existed and how it felt to have the four of them in my life, when they walked out of it. Because thats what she would do when she found out the truth. Wouldn’t she? Would she be able to forgive me?

She is standing in front of me, her eyes shining so much honest emotion and questions, “What’s wrong Mike?” she whispers and I felt frozen in place.

I should tell her. Right now, right here. No more waiting. The words felt as if they were on the tip of my tongue but somehow I couldn’t spit them out. She turned me on unlike any other woman I had ever met. She intrigued me. Making me want to strip myself emotionally and show her everything I had inside of me. I wanted her to see every dark part of me and still want to be around me.
Strip myself emotionally bare?
What the hell had she done to me? I wasn’t a man who thought this way. But here I was not only thinking this way but needing them like I needed my next breath. I wanted to be surrounded by the light she seemed to beam around me, pulling me out of the darkness of the past.I had to tell her.

“Sabrina, you know …” I start to say my mouth dry and hands shaking.

“Hey there you guys are, your mom wants to know if the coffee is ready?” Emmi says and I stand still. Straightening my back, taking a step back to give Sabrina some space.

“Yeah Em, I’ll be out in like five minutes,” Sabrina tells Emmi, blushing a pretty pink while Emmi smiles at both of us as if she caught us in the middle of something. Emmi finally walks  back out to the yard, taking the tray of pastries that Sabrina handed her.

Once we were left alone, Sabrina takes steps to closing the space I had put between us. She smells so damn good. Soft and sweet, her hands caressing my face, I can’t help but close my eyes leaning closer to her touch. When it came to her I was weak. I couldn’t seem to help myself. Even when everything in me yelled at me that I should walk away, that she would be better without me, I just couldn’t. Something about her that made me want to stay anchored to her, fucking super glued next to her. I was a complete bastard when it came to her. A selfish greedy bastard.

“Whatever it is you think is going to scare me off, it won’t. I’m not going to push. You’ll tell me when you are ready. We aren’t in a rush. Slow and steady and all that,” she tells me smiling, her voice filled with kindness I knew I didn’t deserve. But even though I didn’t deserve her kindness, she soothed me. The way her voice calmed my frayed nerves surprised me.

Everything we are building, all the beauty and how good we are together, is lying atop of lies that I had created. Guilt is seeping into me, and there was a physical pain over my heart at the thought of what she was going to do when she found out the truth.

She kissed me lightly, and all I could think about was that I wanted her to kiss me for the rest of my life. Sweet, familiar, loving. She pulled away, caressing my face and winked at me.  She went back to preparing the tray for the coffee, and  I stood watching her, feeling a huge time bomb ticking away at my heart.

Somehow though when she turned to face me, her eyes glittering with mischief and affection, laced with desire that I knew was only for me, the loud ticking softened to a dull murmur compared to the sound of how she makes my heart beat like a drum.

“Come on, let’s go have coffee,” she says and I nod as her lips touch mine ever so softly. “Coffee and dessert always makes everything better.”

I try to smile, even though I know it must look forced and nod. Grabbing the tray with the coffee pot we head back to where her family is in the backyard.

The rest of our visit went pretty smoothly as we enjoyed the fireworks in the sky from the nearby high school. Her parents watch me with big smiles and I am pretty sure they like me. Emmi and Dan are the first to leave, taking the kids with them for an impromptu sleepover. Sabrina promises to pick them up including Emmis’ kids so that they can hang out at her house the next day to give Dan and Emmi some alone time. Nick was surprisingly cordial, and left right after Emmi and Dan when he got a call.

Cara and Jerry are a sweet couple and even I am excited for them. Observing the sweet gentle way Jerry is with Cara makes me smile. Always making sure she has water to drink, rubbing her shoulders and back, to make sure she is comfortable.  By the stares from Cara, she loves him for it. Then a thought floats into my mind.  I wonder what I would be like if Sabrina was expecting my baby.
My baby? A baby with Sabrina?
Shit I was over my head! I thought to myself, but at the same time I couldn’t help smiling at the thought.

It didn’t scare me as much as I thought it would have. The decade I had been with Holly, we had talked about the possibility of a family, but that was all I had ever been able to imagine. The possibility. But with Sabrina I could see it. I even wanted it. Her round swollen belly with my baby. A little girl with my eyes and Sabrina’s beautiful brown hair and smile, or maybe a little boy with her eyes, and my dark hair. The thought didn’t terrify me. No. It did the opposite, it gave me hope.

I followed her back to her house. I watch as starts to prepare two different crock pots so that she doesn’t have to cook the next day. Standing at the kitchen entrance I watch as her eyes go on mine, she smiles as she walks towards me, her eyes sparkling. The silence in the house was deafening, and my heart raced as I realized we were alone.

“Hi,” she says as she stands in front of me, her hands on my hard chest, and I give her a sexy grin.

“Hi,” my voice rumbled, deep, and I felt her shiver.

I leaned in and kissed her softly, pulling back I heard a small whimper escape from her lips as she sighed before opening her eyes. There was something about the way she was so responsive to me that made me me feel like I could do anything. Almost as if it triggered testosterone to pump harder and faster through my veins.

“So was meeting them too much?” she asks calmly.

“Not at all. You have a great family Babe. I really liked them. It’s pretty cool about your sister.”

“Yeah. I still can’t believe it. Now I’m going to have to definitely start to get ideas together for her baby shower,” she says smiling, a soft look in her eyes.

“Let me know how I can help,” I tell her and she looks up at me surprised.

“Yeah? Not too serious for you?” she asks warily, making me realize that this not being a committed relationship is starting to wear on her.

“Nope. I liked your family Honey. You are a lucky girl to have such an amazing group of people all around you.”

“I know. Sometimes I think that there is no way I could ever thank them for everything they do,” she admits.

“I don’t think they do it to be repaid Babe. They love you. They do it without a second thought,” I tell her and she smiles.

“So my parents liked you,” she mentions as she continues to take things out of the fridge, setting them onto the countertop.

“I liked them too,” I lean against the countertop, watching her until she finally stops fidgeting.

“What’s wrong babe?” I ask her. I can feel some tension radiating from her.

“Nothing.”

I close the space between us taking a can of pineapple slices away from her hand and place it onto the counter.