Crown's Chance at Love (35 page)

“So this is your room huh?” he asks smiling at me and I wish I could do what I want with him, but I can’t. The kids are downstairs, dinner is baking, and I’m exhausted.

“Yeah,” I say trying to get my thoughts out of the gutter. “I didn’t get to make it to your office, do you mind if I stop by tomorrow?” I ask and he smiles at me.

“I don’t mind Honey, you can stop by anytime you want,” he says as he looks around and I wonder what he thinks of my space, what it says about me to him. He finally steps in handing me the glass of wine, leaning in for a small kiss. God I love his lips.

“Your room is nice,” he comments and I sit on the edge of my bed sipping the sweet red.

“Not too girly?” I ask smiling at him, and his beautiful lips twitch slightly.

“Not too bad.” he says slightly dramatic and I laughing.

“It’s cozy. Nice would be your room. Your bed alone is freaking amazing. I don’t think I have ever had better sleep.” I admit looking up at him and he smirks still looking around.

“Maybe it was the company?” he says smiling smugly and I laugh. I do that a lot when I am around him. We laugh and flirt with an easiness that makes me fall even harder for him. Being here like this only adding to my knowledge of how great he fits here with us. With me.

“Yeah, maybe,” I say smiling at him.

“I’m going to go help the kids take the pizza out of the oven, see you down there,” he says kissing me lightly and heading back out downstairs.

Touching my lips I smile. I loved the way he kissed me. The way his lips felt against mine, the way I was never sure of the type of kiss he would give me.

Still smiling, I head downstairs. The scent of the homemade pizza’s wavering throughout the house, making my stomach growl. The pizza’s smell delicious.

We sit around the kitchen table, eating and talking. The kids telling us about their day as Mike held my hand throughout dinner. There was something about him that looked off tonight. A heaviness he was somehow carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. A weight he was trying to ignore while making the best of dinner. I figured it probably had to do with him having a bad day. After cleaning up, the kids headed to bed hugging Mike goodnight.

Once they were all settled in, Mike and I cuddled on the couch watching a baseball game. I started to nod off in his arms. The day had been extremely long and tiring, but something about ending the day in his arms made it all worth it.

“Sweetheart wake up,” his deep voice whispers against my face, his facial hair slightly tickling me.

“I’m so sorry Mike, I knocked out.”

“It’s okay Babe. You should get to bed, I’m going to head home,” he says softly. He looks just as tired as I feel.

“Why don’t you stay the night?”I ask and he freezes, looking at me.

“What about the kids?” he asks and I smile.

“In the guest room Mike. It’s all clean and ready. I’d feel better if you stayed and weren’t driving half asleep,”  I say meaning every word. He sits back bringing me to his lap, my head on his shoulder.

“Wish we could sleep together again. I want to wake up next to you,” he tells me and the way he is looking at me, unguarded makes me shiver.

“I could ask Em to take the kids soon,” I suggest smiling against the soft material of his dress shirt. His cologne makes me feel the need to nestle into him.

“If you don’t mind. I’d like to stay,” he whispers against my hair on the top of my head.

“I’d like that, I think I have a pair of sweats that might fit.”

“Sounds good baby. Let’s go to sleep,” he says. We stand and as I am about to walk towards the steps, he grabs me in his arms and holds me tightly. Slightly catching me off guard, I just hold him back.

“Sabrina…” he starts to say just as my phone goes off and I sigh.

“Hold that thought okay?” I say reaching for my phone. Noticing the time and who was calling I answer.

“Hey Nick everything okay?” I ask him and Mike just stares at me.

“Yeah. I didn’t even realize what time it was. What are you doing this weekend?” he asks and I roll my eyes.

“Not sure. Why? Are you coming out?’”

“Yeah. Maybe I can take the kids out to the movies or something? What do you think?” he asks sounding weird.

“Okay sounds good,” I tell him. “Everything okay Nick?”

“Yeah Honey, everything’s fine. See you this weekend…”

“Night Nick.”

Hanging up I notice Mike watching me closely with a weird worried look on his face.

“What’s the matter Mike?” I tilt my head staring at him. He looks a little pale.

“Nothing, I’m just tired baby. Walk me to my room?” he asks with a small smile and I nod. We hold hands as we walk up the stairs; the only thing that could have been better would have been him staying in my bed, instead of across the hall.

***

Mike

Waking up in Sabrina’s guest room I look at my phone. It’s a little past five in the morning. I turn in bed, looking up, watching the ceiling fan turn trying not to think about what I need to do. I need to tell her the truth. Tonight. If I don’t, Nick will tell her the next day and I can’t let Nick do that. I’ve been a selfish coward these last few months., and it s time for me to man up. I’d been lying to her for the past couple of  months and I can do is pray that she can somehow forgive me.

No. I’ll make her forgive me. I’ll figure out a way. I’m not going to give up. Not on her. Not on the kids. Not on us. We’re going to make it through this.

After a pep talk to myself, and a plan of action all set, I felt a renewed energy. I got up and left. My day was busy with meetings in and out of the office, but tonight I would set everything right.

Sabrina

I had to admit that even though I felt a slight twinge of awkwardness at being in Mike’s office without him being here, it was slightly thrilling. Being in the space where he spent most of his day was interesting. There was something about sitting in his oversized black leather chair that made my heartbeat race a tiny bit. Being here without him created an unspoken familiarity, even though he was so adamant about us only getting to know one another.  I’d been in his office before, but just quick drop-ins that he had insisted on after my meetings with the charity committee.

The cheesy smile that seemed to be permanently plastered on my face whenever I thought about Mike, is definitely present today. His office chair is exquisite. It is comfortable, over-sized and the leather is as soft as butter.

I liked knowing his body was comfortable while he worked. I liked knowing the car he drove was safe. I liked it too much for someone I was just
getting to know
. The more time I spent with him, the more I liked him. Not only was I falling for him, but last night proved my kids were as well.

In Mike’s office my mind easily went to this mornings conversation with Mark. My oldest had wanted to make sure that I knew that the three of them gave me the thumbs up for dating Mike. I smile and shake my head as I think about how Mark had told me that Penny , Chris and him had had a conversation about it. The younger two wanted Mark to tell me that they all like Mike. My smile widens at the idea of my three beautiful children giving me the thumbs up to date Mike. If only figuring out what Mike wanted was as easy. I bite my bottom  lip as I think about talking to Mike and telling him I was ready to progressing whatever we were further. The way he had admitted he wanted to sleep next to me the night before, I knew he didn’t mean only for sexual purposes.

There was just something that was holding him back.

Shaking my head I try to focus on why I was in his office in the first place.

Mike had said that the file I needed was on his desk, and I couldn’t help the smirk or deep breath I had to take as I looked at his desk.

Simply said, it is a mess.

Papers, Post-Its, and pens are covering the dark mahogany desk. I lean back, my eyes going towards the floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the city. The mess makes it easy for me to get distracted.

I imagine his hard strong body sitting, looking out during the day. I smile at what he must look like when we talked or texted throughout the day.  Shaking my head out of my daydreams, I look at his desk and try to figure out where to start to find the file for the vendors that the committee wanted to use.  

Personally, I don’t understand the committee; the way they would go ahead and hire a new planner, yet want to plan it the same exact way their old event planner had done things, but at the end of the day it wasn’t my own personal event. My job is to make sure they are happy at the end of the night.

Looking at the files strewn over his desk, nothing seemed to be the lists that I need.

Frowning I sit back down, accidently hitting the computer mouse. His monitor came to life, and I realize he had left his computer on. Maybe it had been e-mailed and he had thought he had printed it? Knowing how distracted he had been with the new deal on his plate, mixing that with the fact that we had been seeing one another so much, that could have been a possibility.  I wondered if maybe he had planned on printing it and just hadn’t got around to doing it.

His email was left opened, so I lean in to look at his inbox, but immediately sit back. An overwhelming feeling is falling over me as I think that maybe I am overstepping my boundaries. He had said to come in and it would be on his desk.
Maybe I should  just text him and he will text me back?
My hand leaving the mouse, I feel less like a snoop as I back away from it.

I stood up to look for the file on his desk, and after a bit it was obvious that what I needed wasn’t here. Picking up my oversized and overflowing purse from where I had left it when I had come in two oversized files catch my eye. They are right by the printer on a bookshelf. The excitement about getting all the details done for the Breast Cancer Gala flowed through me. I loved this part of my job, working on the small details to watch the way different vendors come together and create a fantastic night. Even if the event was pretty much all planned, I was excited about networking with new vendors and hopefully even talking the committee into some ideas I had been working on especially for this event. My boss Laney, was completely excited about the new client, and wanted to make sure I did everything in my power to make sure the committee ended the night of the gala completely happy.

Opening the overfilled files, I was completely thrown off by what I saw inside.

Time froze.

Dread washes over me like a wave hitting the shore.  An 8x10 of
HIM
looking back at me. His whiskey colored eyes smiling. I immediately recognize the picture. It is the picture that the paper had used for his obituary. The local paper. In Berkeley. Something hitches in my throat. Sean. My beautiful, wonderful, stubborn-when-he-wanted-to-be, completely open, loving Sean. And he’s staring at me. His picture is in the office of a man that I am semi-dating and falling hard for. A man I had brought around my children and family.

Oh God Sean. What have I done?
I think as my hands touch his jaw. I had done that millions of times when he was alive, and anytime I caught a glimpse of him, my hands ached to touch his skin. But with him being dead, I have to make due touching his face on paper as he stares back.

Everything in me feels heavy. I am not even sure if I’m breathing.
Why would Mike would have a picture of Sean
? That’s when my brain kicked in and processed that the file in front of me is huge. Almost overflowing. With slightly shaky hands that tremble because they have a mind of their own, I  take the two files, and place them on my lap as I look down at them. Swallowing hard, trying to take away the dryness from my mouth, I breathe deeply to prepare myself for whatever I am about to see.

My phone starts to ring, completely startling me, making me jump in Mike’s comfortable leather chair. Placing the files on his desk in front of me I dig out my phone.

Mike Calling
my phone reads and for some reason after taking a deep breath, I  answer.

“Hey baby,” he says sounding as if he’s in a better mood than yesterday afternoon.