Crush (Hard Hit #5) (8 page)

"How long have the two of you been dating?" Sophie asked, pulling their attention her way.

"About six months," Andrei said, because saying five months, three weeks, and two days sounded overly attached, even to him.

A bright smile lit Sophie's face. Her green eyes sparkled with mischief. "Y'all are so cute together. Feel free to ignore me while I stare and drool."

Andrei chuckled, but took her at her word. He wanted to hold Orlando and let the world slip away. He pulled Orlando closer before touching his lips to the other man's ear. "This uniform… Delicious. I can't wait to peel it off." Orlando's palm slid up Andrei's inner thigh, letting him know he'd heard.

Noah came to his feet. "I've got a bit of alcohol in me now. You want to dance, Sophie? If that's okay with you, Benton?"

Benton leaned back in his chair and winked. "It's fine with me. You're the one I pity. She'll leave you desperate to have her, but she'll come back to me." Benton's smooth English accent bled confidence.

Noah didn't back down. He held his hand out for Sophie. "I'll risk it."

Benton's eyes flashed with good humor. "Never say you weren't warned."

Sophie blew a kiss over her shoulder as she accepted Noah's hand. As one, they all leaned closer to the balcony, watching the pair as they emerged on the dance floor. Even Troy set his phone aside. Two minutes in, Noah appeared every bit as enamored as Benton had promised.

A laugh rumbled across the table, and Benton sat back, as if satisfied. "Poor bastard."

“Bastard, indeed,” Troy said, sounding as if it was more for himself than anyone, before he went back to messing with his phone.

Andrei looked away, wanting no part of whatever drama Noah had going on. Another familiar couple on the floor caught Andrei's eye. A man covered in tattoos held another man in his arms. They kissed. Even from where Andrei sat, he couldn't miss its heat. Alex and Gannon were explosive together. Several eyes turned their way in interest. How one person could hold another so tenderly and possessively at the same time was beyond him, but Andrei was seeing it happen. As he looked on, Alex buried his face against the crook of Gannon's neck. Andrei's chest tightened. Orlando's mouth touched Andrei's throat at almost the exact moment and the Earth stood still. Andrei turned his head, meeting Orlando's stare, and he knew. This man loved him. Panic set in. He'd told him not to, but he couldn't deny what his eyes showed him. There was no one else there for either of them. Everything Andrei felt, Orlando returned. Andrei tried staving off the panic. The words hadn't been exchanged, so it was possible Orlando intended to stick to his word. People couldn’t help their feelings, but they could contain them. Perhaps that was Orlando's plan. Orlando had sworn he wouldn't feel Andrei. Andrei took a deep breath. It was okay. He'd kept his feelings to himself. If Orlando could ignore it, so too could Andrei.

Clinging to his inner pep talk, Andrei closed the gap between them, capturing Orlando's lips while praying Orlando kept his thoughts to himself. He didn't want to lose this man; neither did he wish to destroy him.

*

The flavor of Andrei's tongue was ambrosia. It was addictive. No matter how many times Orlando pulled away from Andrei's kiss, he went back for more. There was something about the low lighting, thrumming music, and private table that had Orlando ready for a very public fuck. His hands kept sliding up Andrei's inner thigh without his permission. Each time, he caught himself before boldly kneading Andrei's dick, but it was a near thing.

Finally, he broke. "We have to get out of here, Andrei. My dick is leaking beneath this table. You've got me horny as fuck."

"I rode here with Benton and Sophie so we wouldn't have to leave in separate cars. We're free to go whenever."

"Let's go now. You can't see through the windows of my Escalade at night."

Andrei looked thoughtful. "I haven't had sex in a car in years."

"What about having your ass ate? Has it been years since that happened in a car?"

A flush rose on Andrei's face, proving he was every bit as turned on as Orlando. "I don't believe that's ever been done to me in a vehicle."

"It's about to," Orlando said before shifting to his feet and pulling Andrei along with him.

"It was nice meeting everyone," Orlando said, attempting to sound polite. "But we're ready for bed."

After a quick round of goodbyes, Orlando had Andrei exactly where he wanted— inside the back of his Escalade with his ass planted firmly on Orlando's face and Andrei's mouth surrounding Orlando's cock. He wasn't concerned about getting caught. Between his blacked out windows and the dark corner of the parking lot, he knew no one would see them. Still it added a possible exhibitionist edge to the encounter, heightening all of Orlando's senses. The suction of Andrei's mouth pulling at his dick was heaven. Knowing he brought Andrei pleasure added to the experience. The sounds Andrei made mixed with the noises coming Orlando's throat, filling the vehicle with the sweetest music. He couldn't get enough of this man. He wanted to be with him forever. It wouldn't happen until they both put it all on the line. The words in his brain were a constant chant. He needed, wanted… loved this man in his arms.

The overwhelming and choking sensation of mountainous love wouldn’t abate, even as Orlando drove Andrei home and followed him inside. The sensation sat on his chest, making his eyes burn and his mind race. He wanted to be different—have a clean slate. Never in his life had he wished he’d met someone under different circumstance, the way he did Andrei. What if they’d met at the grocery store or even in a bar? Would Andrei still not want Orlando’s love? Andrei headed for the bathroom.

“I’ll start the shower.”

Orlando dutifully emptied his pockets, preparing to join Andrei there. As he set his phone on Andrei’s dresser, his hand hovered over the device. There was this one thing—it held Orlando back from ever moving on. Could he be different if he fixed it? Would Andrei look at him in a different light? Before he could change his mind, Orlando snatched up his phone and shot off a quick text.

Orlando:
Can we meet?

Gannon:
No.

Orlando:
It’s important.

Gannon:
No.

Orlando:
At least you haven’t blocked my number in a while.

“Are you seriously texting Gannon?”

Orlando jumped in his surprise. Sometimes, Andrei could be scary quiet. “It’s not what you think.”

The rage written in every line of Andrei’s body couldn’t be missed. “What do I think?”

Orlando didn’t hesitate. They needed to have this out. Since the night he found Andrei, they’d swept this under the rug. If he wanted this to move forward, they needed to look back. “That I’m still terrorizing him.”

Andrei growled. “Tell me what else I’m supposed to believe. There’s no other reason I can think for this still happening.”

Orlando swallowed all the things running through his mind. He couldn’t talk to anyone about Seb, except for Gannon. Gannon was the only person who’d really known Orlando’s brother. Instead, Orlando went with a different truth.

“I need you to trust me that I’m not doing that any longer. This is something else. Seriously, Andrei, it’s really important that you say you trust me on this.”

“In almost everything, yes, I would trust you with my life. In this, I’m not as sure. Tell me why I should.”

"Because I care about you,” Orlando said, putting it all on the line. He added, “More than I should, so I need for you to believe in me, even if I haven’t given you a reason, and no one else does.”

Andrei’s features went blank. “Then you should leave."

Orlando’s mind slowed to a crawl. “What?”

Andrei nodded toward the door. “You heard me. I told you not to love me. If that’s the case now, if you’re saying you love me, then you need to leave.”

“I don’t understand,” Orlando said, hearing the words but incapable of comprehending. “Will you at least tell me why? I don’t get it. Why are you so scared of us? Why are you terrified of falling in love? Just be honest with me.”

Andrei snapped. “It’s you." The words came out in such a rush, it took a second for the blade to sink in. Andrei glanced at the ceiling as if seeking guidance before meeting his stare once more. “You asked for honesty,” Andrei said, reminding Orlando he had indeed asked for this. “You’re not a good person. I’ve spent my entire life surrounded by people who are bad for me, and every time, they end up taking me down with them. Even when you see you’re doing something wrong, you don’t stop. I don’t want that. I don’t want to love you.”

Orlando’s mind fell eerily silent, protecting itself. That detail didn’t stop his mouth. “I see.” At the claim, Orlando’s brain roared to life, screaming he was a liar. He didn’t see anything at all. In all the scenarios Orlando had painted, this was one he hadn’t seen coming. He’d known there was every probability Andrei would throw him out, refusing to ever see him again. Never in a million years had he dreamt Andrei thought so low of him.

It was like Orlando was sucking air through a straw. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t draw a full breath. For two years, he’d been dead inside, living for some form of fucked up revenge even he didn’t understand. Since meeting Andrei, Orlando had seen a sliver of light in the distance, and now it was gone. Once again, he was bathed in darkness.

“I guess that’s it, then." Even Orlando didn’t understand how he managed to push those words past the swelling of his throat and the pain in his chest. Andrei didn’t even try to stop him as he headed for the door. Not that Orlando expected he would. Still, it was acid on an open wound where his heart used to be.

*

Orlando's scent still lingered on Andrei's skin. He’d been set to take a shower. Not to wash the evidence of their encounter away, as much as to enjoy more time with this man who meant everything to him. He couldn't explain what had happened. Catching Orlando texting Gannon so close on the heels of realizing the other man loved him, combined with Orlando voicing the words, and Andrei freaked. He'd said things that weren't true. His brain screamed for him to run after Orlando. Take it back. His feet refused to budge. He was damaged— in ways Orlando couldn't understand. It was for the best.

Andrei's knees gave out, and he sank down onto the bed. Not thirty minutes ago, he'd held Orlando. Tasted him. Now, it was over. He'd never get to kiss him again. A wave of pain so intense that it stole the air from the room washed over him. The day he'd left Russia, he'd thought his dad could never touch him again. He'd been wrong. Even in death, the man still managed to saturate Andrei's life with evil, stealing everything good. Andrei dropped his gaze to his knees, as if the universe might see the shame in his eyes. It was better this way, he reminded himself again. Orlando needed to reserve his love for someone who deserved it. Andrei was worthy of nothing.

Chapter 6

Two weeks later…

Gannon had been avoiding his calls and texts. Orlando couldn’t have that. This was too important. He would have liked to think Andrei’s opinion of him had nothing whatsoever to do with his driving need to speak to the man who’d killed his brother, but Orlando didn’t like lying to himself. Today, it wasn’t the biggest factor in seeking Gannon out, but it was right up there in the top reasons.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Alex barked the second he caught sight of Orlando hovering over the table he shared with Gannon inside Café Augusto.

Orlando held his hands up in surrender. “I’m not here to cause problems. Promise.” He met Gannon’s gaze. “I just really need to talk to you. In private, if at all possible.”

Alex was having none of it. Not that Orlando expected anything less. “No fucking way, dude. Have you lost your mind?”

Orlando held Gannon’s stare, pleading with his eyes for the man to hear him out. Gannon looked helpless.

“I can’t ask Alex to leave us alone. He’ll go ballistic.”

It took everything Orlando possessed not to smile at the way Gannon openly spoke about Alex, as if the man wasn’t sitting right beside him. In spite of the way the man could turn psychotic in an instant, it was obvious Gannon wasn’t afraid of him.

“If he wants to sit a few tables over and try killing me with his death stare, I’m cool with that. But for this, I can’t have him breathing down my neck.”

Gannon glanced over. The insane glint in Alex’s eyes couldn’t be missed. “Don’t ask me to do this, Gannon.”

“Please?”

“Fuck!” In spite of his cursing, Alex stood. His crazed stare fell upon Orlando. “I’ll be right there,” he said, pointing toward a table by the window. “If you make the slightest move, even if I think you’re about to lean in, you won’t walk out of here. Understood?” He didn’t wait for an agreement before storming off.

Orlando flashed Gannon a wry look as he claimed the seat across from him. “Quite a head case you’ve got there.”

Gannon’s features hardened in a way Orlando had never seen before. “Don’t talk about him. You have no right to judge.”

“True that,” Orlando said, seeing Gannon’s point. “I need to ask you about Seb.” Now that Orlando was here, sitting across from Gannon, it was harder than he expected. The words sounded stilted, even to his ears.

“You already know all there is to know.”