Authors: Bec Botefuhr
I shake my head, “No.”
Bull
smiles and it’s a dazzling smile. Bull has this dark red hair and pale eyes. He looks almost Scottish, but he doesn’t have an accent. I bet it’s in the line somewhere though. I smile at Bull’s smile, because it’s not often I see him smile.
“I was eighteen. I was a rebel back then.
Tough life, hard parents, no siblings. Anyway, I got into some trouble with a bunch of men at a bar one night. Jagger and Ace were there, both sitting and drinking. Four men jumped me and I had no hope. The two boys jumped in and beat the shit out of them. They helped me, they didn’t even know me, but they helped me. Jagger took me outside, and when I thanked him you know what he said?”
I shake my head.
“He said boy, don’t thank me. You change, you hear? You get one choice at life and if you want to pick on people three times the size of you and have your ass kicked, then you go right ahead. That’s a choice, and you can’t blame anyone else for it. You make a choice and you stick with it. You want me to give you a choice boy?”
I smile, because I could hear Jagger saying something like that. “So what did you say?” I ask, crossing my legs.
Bull grins. “I said please give me a choice, because I no longer know how to make them. I’m just a kid.”
“What did he say?”
Bull throws his head back and laughs, and then he tilts his head to the side and shows me a faint scar on his jaw. “He hit me so hard my jaw split. Then he took me in and I’ve been with him since. He gave me a chance Willow, he gave me a chance when I had nothing else. He believed in me.”
I swallow back my tears. Jagger manages to find the good in absolutely everyone. Bull pats my hand,
and then he stands and smiles down at me.
“Don’t give up, not yet. If he doesn’t want you when all this is done, then there’s just nothing you can do about it. You have a choice now
Willow and only you can make it.”
I know he’s right. I know only I can make this choice, and I know deep down in my heart I’ve already made it. I want to help Jagger, and I’ll do whatever it takes
to get him out of that place, even if it means heartbreak for me.
~*~*~*~
WILLOW
“Ring this number, I got it from Huck. It’s Jagger’s number. Tell him to meet us tomorrow night at the wharf.”
“Huck?
Why does his name keep coming up?”
“Look, Jagger and Huck go way back
from when he was involved with your father. While Huck was a cop, Jagger and he had a deal. I don’t quite know what it was, but he trusts Huck and Huck has helped him out of a few situations. He’s got information and he can get access to some serious shit that we could never imagine. He’s of good use to us.”
“I don’t know Angel…”
“Trust me on this, now will you do it?”
I swallow, I can do this. I have to do this. I have been telling myself this all night. I have been assuring myself that I’m doing this for Jagger, not for me. It’s not about me. I dial the number and hold the phone to my ear, my hand trembles. It answers on the first ring and the words I hear has my heart breaking in half.
“Sharleen, babe, why are you ringing on this number? I told you if Mick finds out we fucked last night, I’m dead.”
I pull the phone from my ear and hang it up. I swallow over and over, oh god, oh sweet
Jesus. He’s with Sharleen again? How could I be so stupid? He said he moved on and it’s clear that wasn’t a lie. All along, he wasn’t protecting me. He really doesn’t love me anymore. The pain in my stomach is so intense I struggle to stop myself from doubling over. Angel asks me something, but it doesn’t register. All I can hear is Jagger’s voice. Sharleen, babe….Sharleen, babe….fucked…fucked…
“Willow?”
I snap my head up and meet Angel’s eyes.
“What happened?”
“Disconnected. Sorry.” I manage. I can’t tell them. I can’t.
“Fuck it, we’re going to have to go in. Are you with me?”
I meet his gaze and part of me wants to scream no, that I can’t do it. I want to run from my pain, I want to curl up into a ball and hide from the world but I can’t do that. It’s not about me now, it’s about my son. It doesn’t matter whether Jagger and I are together or not, I have to do this for Cody. He needs to know about Cody and if he chooses her so be it, but I owe him enough to get him out of that place. So for now, I have to pull on my big girl panties - yet again - and suck it up. I look Angel square in the eyes.
“I’m in
Angel, you tell me what I have to do.”
He nods and then leaves the room. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Think of Cody. Think of Cody. I let my eyes swing to the corner of the room where my son sits in his high chair sucking the life out of a section of orange. It’s for him. Everything I do is for him. Jagger needs to know. If anything, he needs to know. I owe both him
and Cody that much. Right now I have to focus on getting through the next few days without breaking down. I honestly don’t know how I’ll do that.
CHAPTER
6
JAGGER
She believed me. I knew only a few people had my new number and I knew that when that unknown caller came up that it would be her. If it wasn’t it would be one of the boys and they’d surely tell her what I said. I knew it was her when the phone line went dead. I was just adding to her hurt, I was pushing her to the limits. I hoped I hadn’t pushed too hard.
I had different plans, I was hoping I could get her to see me with Sharleen but the phone call worked perfectly. I just hoped I didn’t cause her to hurt herself…
I shake my head. Can’t fuckin’ think like
that. Can’t. I had to do it. I had to make her think I was with Sharleen, I had to make sure she didn’t keep chasing me. If I didn’t she could very well lose her life and there was no way in hell I was letting that happen. Not on my watch. I toss the phone into the nearby wall and pace my room. I don’t know what they’re planning but obviously my words weren’t enough to scare Willow away.
Did she know I didn’t mean those harsh words? Maybe she knows me better
than I know myself. I flop down onto the bed and close my eyes, thinking of her sweet face. God I’ve missed her. I haven’t fucked since the day she left and I’m wound up so tightly. I can’t…I just can’t move on. I tried, one drunken night, and I couldn’t even get a fat. Nothing. Fuckin’ hung loose like an old man. Shameful, that’s what it fuckin’ was. I would never be the same without her.
I’ll never fuck and ha
ve it feel the way it felt with her. I’ll never have lips around my cock that’ll warm me the way hers did. I’ll never feel a kiss so damn sweet it knocks me off my feet. I feel my cock growing and I snarl a curse. I have no problem getting hard when thinking about her, but when I try to move on, nothing. I told her to move on, one day I’ll have to do the same.
Acid runs through my veins at that thought. I fuckin’ can’t imagine anything worse
than thinking of her with someone else. It fuckin’ burns. I sit up and let my thoughts take me back to her, and that gorgeous little body with those beautiful breasts, that perky ass and those sensual lips. I close my eyes and I can feel her beside me, touching me, kissing me, stroking me. She made everything ok. Everything.
I jerk my jeans down and grip my cock, fuckin’ hate doing this. Hate that I have to use my own hand because I can’t get it up for anyone else. Of course I can’t fuckin’ get it up, I’m in love with a woman I can’t have and I can’t get over that. I stroke up and down, grunting as pleasure jerks through my body. Fuckin’
hate this, but I love that for a moment I’m with her and it feels ok. It’s a moment, but it’s everything.
I stroke gently, picturing those full lips smiling up at me as she puts her tongue around my cock. I pick up the pace, feeling everything inside me tense as
pleasure rises up my shaft ready to explode. I remember the sweet feeling of driving into her wet flesh and that’s my undoing. I grunt and begin spurting come all over my stomach. I open my eyes and stare down at the white mess. I close my eyes and shake my head, sighing. I’m fucked up. The best I’ve got is to wank myself stupid because I have nothing else.
Pitiful.
That’s all I am. Pitiful.
CHAPTER 7
WILLOW
“Willow, you can’t go down there!”
Rusty is holding my arm, but I am not listening. I know who they’ve got down there and I want in. I want in like yesterday…
“Let me go Rusty, or I’ll hurt you.”
He snorts. “Not gonna happen.”
I launch my foot backwards and hit his shin. He roars with pain and stumbles back, letting me go long enough to lurch forward and through the door. I bolt down the stairs and into the basement of the old warehouse the boys are in. Danny is tied to a chair, squirming. When his eyes fall on me, he looks almost pleadingly at me.
“Willow! Help me!”
I actually throw my head back and laugh. Ace snarls a curse and Angel orders me to leave but I don’t listen. Instead I storm over and I punch Danny so hard in the face that his head jerk backwards.
“That’s for my wasted years.”
I hit him again, blood spurts from his nose.
“That’s for all the blood you shed that wasn’t yours.”
I hit him again and his lip splits.
“And that’s for Jagger.”
He roars a curse and jerks in the chair, Angel and Ace are staring at me with gaping mouths. Yeah, I can be bad ass when I need to be. Danny deserves everything that’s coming for him.
“You do as they ask, because I swear to god I will end you Danny. I’ll put a bullet in you right now and end you.”
“Fuck you, slut.”
I yank the gun from Ace’s hand and press it to his temple.
“Do you think I
’m kidding? I have lost my heart, my life and everything I lived for. He was everything to me. I don’t care about you. I hate you. Seeing you swim with the fishes is fine by me.”
“No,” he rasps, eyes wide. “No, please. I’ll help.”
I step backwards and run my fingers across the cool metal of the gun.
“Are you done?” Ace whispers in my ear.
“Just needed to get that out of my system, thanks, I feel great.”
Angel snorts,
and then goes back to Danny.
“So, you can see we aren’t kidding. Now you tell me where Jagger’s next gig is and how we can get in.”
“You can’t get in,” Danny spits. “You can’t unless you’re a fighter or VIP. It’s too risky to let the public in.”
“You’re a fighter Danny,” Ace smirks.
Danny’s eyes widen. “No, I won’t do it.”
“How much do we have to pay you?” I snap.
Danny stares at me. “You’ll pay me?”
“I’ll pay you if you help me out. If you don’t, we’ll hunt you down and kill you.”
“How much?”
Ace snorts,
“Fucktard.”
I smother a grin and Danny glares at him.
“I’ll give you half a mill,” I mutter, as though it’s no more than petty cash.
Danny stares at me for long moments. “Fine, if you swear you’ll let me go and give me the money
, I’ll get you in but I can only get you in once.”
“Once is all I need.” I say simply.
“If you try anything on her,” Angel growls. “I swear to god, I’ll hunt you down and believe me, you’ll wish to god I never got hold of you.”
“I get it.” Danny snarls.
“Good, I hope you do. If you value your life, you won’t lay a fucking hand on her.”
I look over at Angel. “His fight is tonight.”
“Yes, it is. Are you ready?”
I nod. “I have to be.”
~*~*~*~
WILLOW
“Stop darting around,” Danny snarls. “You look like a fucking junkie.”
“Everyone is looking at me!” I hiss.
“Because you’re a woman, not many women come in.”
Danny pulls my hand and drags me to the entrance. I’m decked out in disguise again and I can see a lot of men lingering around the doors to the fighting club. When we reach the bouncer, Danny greets him by name.
“Who’s the lady?”
“She’s with me man.”
“You know we don’t like ladies in the club.”
“She’s cool, trust me.”
“Fine, but you can answer to Mick.”
“Fuck Mick.”
Danny pulls me through the door and we step into a large room. In the middle of the room is a massive fighting ring and surrounding it is a whole lot of men cheering and pumping up for the fight. I swallow. Seeing Jagger fight…I don’t know how that’ll go for me. I see Mick standing on a large crate at the front of the room. He spots Danny and me, and his eyes narrow.
“Mick’s coming,
” I say quickly.
Danny turns his head and watches as Mick shoves through the crowd. When he stops in front of us, he hisses, “What the fuck Daniel?”