Dark Love (The Two Sides of Me Book 3) (3 page)

“What do you mean?” I ask, and I
watch as she seems to organize her thoughts. “I think he became angry with me. As kids, we didn’t know what to do with emotions like
that; I don’t think anybody would, not even adults. So much was taken from him that night when he protected me with his life. Our mother was taken from us. I never had much of a bond with her, but he really loved her. No matter what she did, no matter what she said he always had an excuse, always tried to explain away her bizarre behavior. He couldn’t accept that his mother was an evil fucking psycho. But I did, I hated her, and it was easier for me when she died. I was glad she took her life, glad she was gone. She didn’t mean a thing to me, and she almost took the most important person in my life from me, my brother. And to add to the pain, she took part of his future from him, she took his ability to have children of his own. Neither of us was too torn up when Dad died. Evan felt the same way I did about him, abandoned. Evan was ashamed of his anger toward me. He denied it whenever I tried to get him to talk about it. It continued to grow over time, and he could see how much he was hurting me. That’s when he moved to Seattle and opened Dominus. He cut all ties with me, never called, never visited, no birthday or Christmas cards, it was like he tried to erase me from his life.” My heart aches for her; I can’t discern how devastating it must have been to have Evan delete you from his life. “I think he eased his conscience by paying my bills, all of them, always. I tried to have things switched into my name, the power, the mortgage on the house, but nobody would listen to me. He must have some incredible connections and after years I just gave up. He was in the news opening his restaurants and clubs all over the world I followed what was going on in his life that way. I knew he was ok, but he wouldn’t answer my calls. I even tried to visit him once, but his staff turned me away. That was 5 years ago; I was so stunned when your hospital called me as his next of kin to come and be with him. I thought, finally, a second chance, and it really has been. I know it’s cruel, but I’m so glad he was in that accident. If that hadn’t happened, there would be no you, no me, not even an Evan. His life was empty and hollow without you Mia; he needed you to come along and shock his heart back to life.”

“I don’t get it, so he was mad at you for what? Being attacked by your mother? You couldn’t help that!”

“I know. He knows. It’s one of those irrational attachments to a mother, I guess. Do you think he hears us?”

“Yes, I absolutely do. He knows exactly what’s going on around him. He told me the last time he was in a coma that my talking to him was what kept him focused and fighting.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it then, I don’t want to upset him.” I nod yes silently, and we seamlessly flow into another topic.

“So when are they arriving? I’m so excited! I miss my family terribly. It seems like forever since I’ve seen my sister.”

“The jet is due to land around seven tonight. Mr. Saint will meet them and take them to the house to get some rest and tomorrow I’ll bring them to the hospital. We can spend the day here, or we can go back to the house for a little while and have dinner. If you want to, of course.”

It’s tempting, I’m so sick of this room, but there is a little niggle in the back of my mind that says it’s not safe to leave Evan alone, not for even a little while. If he woke up without me by his side again, I could never forgive myself. “No, I’m sorry, Gabriella. I know you want me to get out of here, but I’m not leaving him. Not even for my family. We can celebrate here. Is someone bringing food?”

“Yes, Dominus is catering, of course. They will take the food wherever we want them to. And yes, I’d like to see you get some fresh air, but I understand.”

She reaches out to fuss with a chunk of my hair that has gone wayward and smiles a small sad smile. “It will be alright, I’m sure he will wake up soon, sweetheart.”

Her comforting words don’t match her expression or her actions. She seems nervous, and I know she doesn’t believe what she’s saying. It doesn’t matter though, I know. I actually feel like something is changing, the otherworldly attachment we have to one another is strengthening. The magnet’s energy is rejuvenating, building. He’s coming back to me I know it;
nothing will keep us apart, absolutely nothing.

I ignore her doubt and look down at my left hand where my wedding ring glimmers, catching the light, turning the stone into a kaleidoscope of colors. It’s the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and not just because of its style or actual physical beauty but because of what it represents a love that has transcended consciousness, stomped out adversity, overcome obstacles that normal people would never have a chance against.

What we have is not traditional or easy but it’s real, and it’s solid and permanent. I have total faith that God will bring us back together, and I have total faith in Evan.

Gabriella switches on the television; she watches a talk show, and I zone out to a place where Evan and I are happy and healthy back in Seattle. About an hour goes by during which Gabriella and I turn Evan and arrange him into some semblance of comfort. When he is positioned to my satisfaction, I take a bathroom break while she sits with him. It’s time to make my daily appearance in Dr. Carter’s room where he has been refusing to see me since we all arrived here ten days ago. Every day I go to his door. Every day he looks at me and pretends to close his eyes and sleep. Every day I sigh and walk away. I’m not giving up. He will talk to me, eventually, if my suspicions about him are right.

So today I step toward the door and discover he’s no longer in his bed! Panic crashes over me like a tidal wave. Shit! Did they discharge him? I can’t believe they would let him go yet. He was in terrible condition and nowhere near able to care for himself.

I grasp the door frame on either side and look around the room with wild eyes, and thank God in heaven above, he’s sitting up in a chair next to his bed. Our eyes connect and for the first time he doesn’t pretend to sleep. Maybe because he’s in a chair, and it would look pretty strange to be sleeping sitting straight up or maybe because he’s finally ready to see me. I have to get the healing process underway. Evan will be waking up soon, and David needs to be on board with the surgery again, some way somehow I have to make him believe I care about him. Just the thought gives me the creepy crawlies; it feels like tiny microscopic creatures are playing dodgeball all over my skin. I’ve never faked my emotions or feelings toward anyone before. It feels so wrong and dirty, but this is my future with my husband I’m fighting for, and I’m going to war.

“Can I come in?” I ask, not daring to move a muscle. This is my chance, and I don’t want to blow it by being too eager.

“Yes.”

As I take only two steps into his room, I actually feel kind of bad for him. The room is bare, no personal effects, no visitors, nothing. The ICU isn’t supposed to allow those kinds of things. However, they usually don’t keep people who can sit up in a chair, either. Those patients are transferred to a floor with a lower level of care. I think the hospital is full, though. There is nowhere else for David to go, and he may have some special privileges being that he works here occasionally.

Evan has privileges, too. His, however, don’t stem from respect or thanks. His are provoked by fear. I’m sure some money changes hands allowing us to decorate his room with the Christmas tree, photographs and little touches of home. Not that he enjoys any of it.

There it is, bitterness seeps back in, no more pity, just a burning anger aimed at David for interfering. Why couldn’t he have just come and done his job and left me out of it? Because I was the end goal not Evan’s surgery, that’s why. He nods silently toward a chair across from him; I cross the room to sit all the while, feeling his eyes all over me.

“How are you, David? You look much better.” I say with my fake plastic smile.

“Don’t, Mia, we can skip the small talk. I know you’re only here because you want me to do surgery on Evan, it’s not a secret.”

I shift in my seat and slide my hands under my thighs to hide my wedding ring and lean forward to give him all of my attention.

“David, I’m here to thank you for warning me. I had no idea what I was involved with. I was so shocked I… I didn’t know what to think. And fainting is a typical reaction to stress for me.” Lies lies and here come some more. “When I opened my eyes in that kitchen, I was horrified at what he’d done to you, I’m so sorry. I’ve wanted to come and say that for days, but you wouldn’t see me.” I’m not a liar or an actress, but I’d have to say that was a damn good performance. A little female desperation in my voice and a good view of my chest didn’t hurt either.

While I’ve been talking, I’ve managed to work my rings off my finger and into the palm of my hand. I can’t believe I forgot about them, how stupid! I didn’t expect him to see me today. It’s at this moment that I vow to be more careful. He's looking at me, sizing me up, trying to determine whether I'm truthful or not. Fake concern plastered on my face I wait patiently.

“That’s why I came, Mia. You’re in danger with that man. I’m so glad to see you realize that now.” Bam! Hook line and sinker he’s taking the bait!

“I do, really I do. I mean look at you, who’s to say he wouldn’t have done that to me eventually!” His eyebrows draw together in a frown.

“Mia, he’s already hurt you. I know about your neck. I spoke to the physician at that rinky-dink hospital he took you to. He owns it, you know. That’s where he takes the people he tortures when he’s done with them. If they manage to live through it.”

Keeping my composure isn’t easy. I don’t believe a word he says. Or maybe I do, I don’t know. What I do know, however, is that
my
Evan wouldn’t have done any of the things David accuses him of. I play embarrassed and look at the floor shuffling my feet a little.

“Yes, he hurt me, but he wasn’t himself.” I shouldn’t defend him, it does little for my case, but I can’t help it. The instinct to protect my husband is a strong response. Every part of me wants to stand up for him, to scream at David and tell him he doesn’t know
my
Evan, that the other Evan who he has researched isn’t who I’m in love with. But I
am
standing up for him, just not in the traditional way, what I have to do is sneaky and full of lies, I have to train myself to remember that.

“I know that’s no excuse, he hurt me and I don’t deserve that.” He sighs heavily and winces. “You ok? I can get the nurse to give you some pain meds if you want.”

He holds up the button to the self-administered pain pump to show me there is no need to call a nurse, and he presses it. “Broken ribs?”

“Yes, among many things.”

“I’m so sorry, David.
I know you’re in pain. Is there anything I can do for you?” He stares at me very
deliberately, and I’m racing into the high alert zone. I’m not going to like what he says next, I can feel it.

“Leave him, Mia. Leave him and come home with me. He’s never going to wake up, and if he does you risk being killed. If you really want to do something for me, do that.” I was right; I feel my blood boiling inside my veins, my vision shakes with fury at his confirmation of his intentions. I was pretty sure he was here to try and take me away from Evan, but any minute benefit of the doubt I once tried to give him is erased after that damning comment. I dig deep and attempt to settle my physical reactions.
One deep breath and a change of position later, I test my voice and respond.

“I can’t just leave him here, he’s in a coma. I’m not in any danger right now.” There, that’s good, calm and convincing; just keep thinking that, calm and convincing.

“Mia, I can offer you so much more. He’s not coming out of this. You can’t sit in there forever watching him waste away. I know you want to go home. You’ve got to miss your family and your job. He brought you here against your will, didn’t he? You had been sick before you disappeared from the hospital. That’s not an ideal time for a vacation to Italy, running a fever of 104, wasting away, dehydrated and suffering some crazy bacterial infection!”

Holy shit! He’s been stalking me; no one but my own doctor should know details like that! Those creepy crawlies that were playing dodgeball on my skin earlier…yeah, their game is in overtime, and I’m on the verge of vomiting.

“I’m sorry, Mia. I know it’s a violation of your privacy. I wasn’t your doctor, but I was concerned. You hadn’t been to work and when you were, God, you looked like a walking zombie.”