Dating Delaney (5 page)

Jake

I had the most ridiculous urge to kiss her. I was just
joking around when I pulled her close but when she stared up at me with those
big brown eyes I forgot what I was doing. Her body felt good pressed into mine
and she smelled like peppermint. I had an overwhelming craving to see if she
tasted as good as she smelled. I needed to taste her, to feel those plump lips
on mine. Her breath came out in short pants and it drove me wild. Before I did
something stupid I’d gotten control of myself and let her go.

“I am light,” she retorts.

“Huh?” What were we talking about?

“You said lighten up. I am,” she pouts.

“Oh. Right.” Jesus, Jake, pull it together. Her cheeks are
still flushed and she was breathing heavy still. Her eyes are still locked on
mine.

“Uhh, okay, so…anyways. I was...” she turns and looks around
the kitchen, “...going to make lunch. Do you want me to make you and Bob
something too?”

Damn, she’s flustered, I think I will read one of her books
just to see what’s got her so riled up.

“Bob’s not here today, but I’ll have lunch with you, sure.”

“Oh, okay. Well is chicken salad all right with you?” she
asks.

“Love it. Call me down whenever you’re ready,” I tell her.

I head back upstairs and carefully adjust myself. My jeans
are uncomfortably tight from our embrace. What was I thinking? I take a few
measurements for the windows and start to frame out their locations. I wonder
if she’s seeing anyone; I haven't seen anyone come by but that doesn't mean
much. But if I were her man, I wouldn't let more than a day go by without
stopping over to see her.

A few minutes later I hear a door slam shut and voices in
the kitchen right before Laney calls up to me for lunch.

“So, Jake,” Amelia starts, “how’s the project going up
there?” She nods her head upward towards the second floor before taking a bite
of her sandwich.

“Good. We’re right on schedule,” I inform her.

“Tomorrow we’re going out, why don't you be Laney’s date?”
she says nonchalantly. Laney gasps and her eyes go wide staring at her sister.

“Uhhh…” I stutter. I think I’ve forgotten how to speak.

“Oh my god, Ame, what the fuck!” Laney crows at her.

“What? What?! Come on, it’s one date,” Amelia retorts.

“You don't have to answer, Jake,” Laney says, still looking
shocked at her sister’s antics.

“Yes you do...” Ame pushes.

“No
he
doesn't!” she yells at her sister.

“Ladies!” I interrupt their stare-down. “I’d love to.”

“Really?” Amelia squeaks at the same time Laney says,
“What?!”

I look at Laney and shrug. “What? I would.”

She looks down at her sandwich. “Fine,” she says quietly.

“So what are we doing tomorrow?” I ask.

“I have passes for Seacoast Fun Park and I really want to
try that zip line thingy!” Amelia’s face is beaming with satisfaction.

“That sounds fun. Where should we meet?”

“Oh, just pick up Laney and then she will tell you how to
get to my house, we can all go from there,” Amelia dictates.

“You really don't have to do this,” Laney interjects.

“Oh come on, I don't bite…much. It’ll be fun,” I say. This
gets me the tiniest smile from her.

Thursday at three I pack up shop and head downstairs to find
Laney sitting at her desk in the living room furiously clacking away on her
laptop.

“Hey,” I say. She turns to face me. “Oh hey, is it four
already?”

“No, I want to shower before we leave, is it okay if I shower
here?” I ask.

She looks at me sideways for a moment.

“Sure, go right ahead.”

“Thanks.”

I grab the bag I packed this morning with a change of
clothes in it and head to the bathroom. I quickly shower and change into a
clean shirt and jeans. I’ve been looking forward to tonight. I’ve heard Laney
and her sister bantering back and forth and they’re hilarious. I’m hoping that
Laney will ease up around me tonight and just be herself. Last night I
downloaded one her books to my Kindle and started reading it. Besides her being
right about the chick stuff, it’s good. Witty, so far well-written, and she
definitely writes some hot make-out scenes. Judging by her reaction to me
calling her out on writing her own desires into her stories, it’s obvious she
wants a man who’ll take control in the bedroom but there’s a serious die-hard
romantic living in her, too. Since starting the book I’ve had a hard time
thinking about anything outside of giving Laney what she secretly wants.

I exit the bathroom when I’m finished getting ready and find
her sitting in the exact same position at her desk still clacking away.

“I’m ready when you are,” I call. She leans back and
stretches her neck side to side before standing up. I have the overwhelming
desire to rub the knots out of her neck for her.

“Okay. I um, just need to change real quickly,” she says and
brushes past me to her room.

I take the time to really look around her place. She’s got
pictures, well-done pictures, of her and Claire hung all over the place, but
besides that and the usual furnishings, she’s pretty minimalistic. There’s no
clutter or overstuffed shelves anywhere and she only has the necessary pieces
of furniture. It’s open and airy and homey. Peaceful feeling.

“Let’s go,” she calls from the entryway. I turn to face her
and my breath catches. She’s got her hair swept back from her face in a braid
that hangs over one shoulder and her lips are shiny with gloss highlighting
their perfect plumpness, but besides that she appears make-up free. She’s
changed into jeans, flats, and a plain white V-neck t-shirt, but she looks
perfect. The shirt clings to her flawlessly. The jeans accentuate her round
ass. I have to bite my lip to keep from grinning like a teenager.

When I get her door for her she smiles coyly and thanks me.
I round the truck, get in, and we head to her sister’s.

“You’re quiet,” I say, drawing her out of her thoughts.

“Oh sorry, I was just thinking about how hellacious tonight
will be.”

“What? Why?” I ask.

“Amelia has made it her job to get me laid,” she says plainly
as if it’s nothing. My hand slips on the steering wheel, jarring us left, at
her words.

“TMI?” She laughs. I clear my throat and shake my head.

“Just ahh, not what I was expecting you to say.”

We pull into Amelia’s driveway and Laney instructs me to
wait while she runs in to get Amelia and her husband Mike. When they come out,
Mike sits up front with me and the girls climb into the back.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Mike,” he extends his hand to me and
I shake it.

“You too. Jake. We ready?” I get three resounding yeses.

Amelia and Laney chatted in the back seat, laughing often
the whole way to Seacoast. Mike and Laney seem to be close, judging from the
easy banter swapped between them. Mostly Mike tried to strike up conversation
with me, and even with an eight-year age gap between us, the conversation
flowed freely. He’s funny. I can see why Laney gets along easily with him.

“You guys get the tickets,” Amelia tells Mike. Mike nods and
we head into the little office together.

“So what’s Laney’s deal?” I venture.

“What do you mean?” Mike asks.

“She’s a different person around you two. When it’s just us
she’s…reserved I guess,” I tell him.

“She likes you. She’s ahhh…” He stops momentarily, searching
for the right words. “She’s had a rough time in the relationship department.
Always picking guys who treat her like crap. She’s really funny and caring and
outgoing but since she started writing she doesn’t leave the house as much. I
think after The Jackhammer she gave up on dating,” he informs me.

“The Jackhammer?” I ask quizzically.

Mike laughs, “We nickname all the losers. He was the one she
claims jackhammered her to near death in...uhh, bed...then proceeded to tell
her how awesome it was afterward.”

I take one look at Mike and we both burst out laughing.

“You should hear some of the others... there was Mr.
Pick--the nose picker, The Hugger, Mr. Wedge--permanent wedgie, Closetalker
McGee, Halitosis Henry... the list goes on. I swear I can't make this shit up.”
He laughs.

“Wow, that’s an unfortunate lineup.”

“You’re telling me. She and Trent have been divorced for
four or five years now I think and he’s happily remarried... but she just can’t
seem to find anyone who doesn't suck at life,” he confides in me. We’re still
laughing when we reach the girls.

“What’s so funny?” Amelia asks.

“The Jackhammer....” Mike falls into another fit of
laughter.

“Oh my god, Mike!” Laney screeches. “You didn't!”

Mike nods his head at her.

She looks to me and I can’t help but join in. “At least I’m
Mr. Attractive... so far.”

Amelia and Mike double over and Laney glares at them both.

“How’d he find out his name?” Amelia asks when she catches
her breath.

“I overheard her friend say it at Foreplay,” I answer for
her.

“You guys suck,” she says but her ribs are shaking and she
finally joins us laughing.

“Are we ready to do this?!” Amelia points to the SkySwing.
We all nod and make our way over.

Laney and I agree to go first but Laney seems to think
Amelia is going to chicken out once she sees us go. We’re standing at the top
and the attendant is buckling us into the harness. “It’s pretty high.” Her
voice has a nervous pitch to it.

“It will be fun,” I reassure her, but in truth, it is pretty
fucking scary-looking from up here.

“Ready?” the attendant asks.

Laney shoots a nervous look my way, but I answer yes for us
anyways. They hoist us up and let us rip and we’re suddenly free falling. Laney
lets out a scream and her hand grabs mine in a death grip. By the time we swing
to the other side and start our backwards decent the grip on my hand is light
and the grin plastered on her face is huge.

“That was AWESOME!” she yells. “My stomach totally dropped
to my butt but it was so awesome!” It takes all my energy not to laugh at her
but a chuckle escapes me anyways.

Her grin never leaves her as they unbuckle the harness and
set us free of the swing.

“OH MY GOD Amelia! That was so awesome!” We’re back on
ground and waiting for Amelia to live up to her end of the deal and climb up
with Mike.

“Eh, it didn't look that great,” Amelia says with
irritation.

“Shut your hole and get up there.” Laney points to the
swing. Reluctantly, with Mike’s encouragement, the two of them make their way
up for their turn.

“So...” I start. “How long have you been writing?”

She turns to me with a youthful sparkle in her eyes still
riding the adrenaline-high from our ride. “Ah, I guess four years now,” she
says.

“Is it a full-time income?” I prod.

“Yeah, actually it is. Occasionally Amelia finds me a temp
job through the agency she works at for some extra cash but the sales from the
books pretty much covers all my expenses,” she explains.

“Must help to live with your parents,” I push. She shoots
daggers at me.

“I pay rent. A hefty sum actually, and we split all the
utilities...so it’s not exactly cheap.”

“You pay rent?” There goes the spoiled rich kid theory.

“Ah yeah, of course I do, none of us are wealthy,” she
admonishes.

I feel pretty stupid for assuming but it is pretty unusual
for a Cumberland resident to not have some sort of wealth. “What about you?
Rent? Own?” she asks.

“I have a house in Brunswick.”

“I love Brunswick! Where is it?”

“Merepoint Road?” I tell her.

“On the water?!” she squeals. “You must do pretty well for
yourself.”

“Yeah, I do okay.” I wasn't wealthy by any stretch but I had
the house and a nice little nest egg stocked away and a retirement account.
Laney points up and I follow her finger. “Here they go!” she squeals. Amelia
and Mike came screaming down the zip line with the most hilarious, terrified
expressions, and both of them were squealing like little girls. Laney and I
burst out laughing at the sight of them.

Delaney

When Ame and Mike finally made it back on ground we all
decided on a round of mini golf. So far the four of us were having a great
time. It was nice to be out with a guy who carried himself with pride and got
along with my sister and brother-in-law with ease. I can’t stand someone who’s
negative all the time or who doesn't get along with my sister. We are very
close and it’s very important to me that anyone I date meshes well with them.

“SUCKYMcSuckerton!” Ame crowed as her ball missed the hole
for the millionth time. “Men are much better at putting balls in holes
apparently,” she blurts. My giggling was beginning to make my abs hurt.

“Your hole is so big Mike doesn't even need his glasses on
to find it. It’s like throwing a ...”

“Hot dog down a hallway,” Mike and I finished in unison
while laughing.

“Shut it turd burglar, you had a kid too!” Ame retorts. Jake
clutches his stomach and laughs out, “Do they ever stop?” to Mike.

“Nope...and so far they only get better with age…you should
hear it when they get their mom in on it too…”

“How do you survive?” he questions.

“Listening to them is my only ab workout,” he chuckles.

“I bet,” Jake laughs. We finally move on to the next hole
after letting Amelia kick her ball angrily into the hole.

“So, what’s your story, Jake?” Amelia prompts.

“I don't have a story?”

“Divorced? Dumped, why no girlfriend? Obviously with the
hotness factor, you should be unavailable,” she pushes him more.

Jake’s eyes widen in surprise at her boldness. “Never been
married. As for the rest of it…I don't know. Just haven't found anyone worth
putting the time in for,” he answers.

“No one?” I pipe up, curious.

“Not in the last year…like you I’ve had my share of awful
dates but no relationships.”

“Huh, even attractive people have troubles, who knew?” I say
sarcastically.

“Hey hey, I feel like a piece of meat when you talk about me
like that,” he jokes.

“You are,” I say with a deadpan tone. Mike laughs and Ame
reaches over and pinches Jake’s butt.

“Yup, definitely meaty,” she giggles. Jake leaps forward
when she pinches him and crashes straight into me. My arms start windmilling as
I try to keep my balance but it’s too late. I crash butt-first into the slimy
pond on the eighth hole.

I sit stunned for a moment, but this is so classic me that
when I see Ame’s ribs shaking violently with laughter I can't help but laugh
with her. I always fall in the most ridiculous ways. Once I did this weird
pirouette while playing basketball and somehow landed Indian-style on the
ground. Ame’s clutching Mike and they’re both trying to catch their breath when
a hand appears in front of me.

Jake looks horrified. “I’m sooo sorry, Laney!”

I wipe the tears from my eyes and take his hand. He pulls me
up and starts wiping my butt off which makes me laugh even harder. “Stop! Stop!
It’s fine. I’m fine. I just need to catch my breath,” I tell him.

Once he sees I’m really okay, his ribs start shaking and he
finally lets go of a laugh that comes straight from his belly. This sets all of
us off again and the people waiting behind us start telling us to hurry up. We
finish mini golf without any more injury and head to the Dugout for some ice
cream.

Jake and Mike are headed towards us with our ice creams and
when Jake’s tongue darts out to take a lick of his cone my mouth starts
watering. “Gross. Quit staring or he’s going to think something’s wrong with
you,” Amelia says and nudges me.

“Uh,” I snort--an actual snort, “sorry, his tongue’s
distracting.”

“Did you just snort? You DID!” she laughs.

“What’s so funny this time?” Jake asks and hands me my cone.

“Oh nothing, Laney is just distracted by your tongue,”
Amelia chuckles.

My eyes dart to his and to my surprise he sticks his tongue
out and slowly moves it up the side of his ice cream, never taking his eyes off
mine. It is the most ridiculous thing ever. Mike, Ame, and I all roll with
laughter.

“Hmmm, you seem to fit right in,” Mike says with a devilish
grin. Ame started shaking her head and backing up as Mike lunged at her and
wiped ice cream down her face. Jake and I sat and watched the wrestling match
and ice cream fight ensue.

“They seem happy,” he murmurs close to my ear.

“They really are perfect for each other,” I tell him. Jake
leans in further and I hear an intake of air. Wait...what just happened? “Did
you just sniff my hair?” I ask in disbelief.

Embarrassment at being caught flashes across his features.

“Uh, nooo,” he says without looking me in the eye.

“Oh my god! You sniffed my hair! Creepy!” I laugh.

He leans in and does it again.

“Gross! That’s seriously weird!” I squawk and lean away from
him, still laughing.

“But, Laney,” he says, “it smells so good.”

I can't keep it together and a giant, snorty laugh erupts
from me.

“Snorting’s hot,” he says and chokes down a chuckle.

“Shut up. It’s not like I do it on purpose,” I scold.

It takes me three tries to stop laughing, tears are
streaming down my face, and every time I think I have it under control Mike
yells “balls” and I lose it again. Jake and Mike play this game most of the way
back to Amelia’s. By the time we pull in, Ame and I have to pee so bad we’re
both dancing around like lunatics trying to get the door unlocked.

Mike and Jake stand at the bottom of the stairs laughing. I
hear the lock click and I push Ame through the door, sending her to the floor
and me stumbling over her racing for the bathroom.

“You suck!” she yells after me, trying not to laugh. I
obviously beat her to the bathroom and when I finally sit, the release feels so
good that I groan loudly. Amelia laughs from outside the door and then barges
in just as I’m pulling up my pants.

“Hey!” I squeal.

“Move over, or I’m going to pee all over you,” she shouts. I
exit the bathroom and find Mike and Jake sitting on the couch grinning.

“I thought we’d get to witness a cat fight for the
bathroom,” Jake chuckles.

“Oh no, I always win but I don't fight fair either.”

His smile grows and his dimples appear. He’s so handsome. So
genuine. So real.

“You ready to head home?” he asks.

“Yeah, all set,” I murmur breathily. Geez, Laney--pull
yourself together. We say our goodbyes to Mike and Amelia, once she comes out
of the bathroom, and head out.