Dating For Decades (21 page)

She glances up from her phone long enough to answer. “We’ve known each other since back in the day. We’re old … pals.” She nudges him and I know exactly what she means. She’s pals with Lucas the same way I was. Suddenly casual sex seems so dirty to me, knowing we’ve both slept with the same man.

“When is Terrence getting here?” Keith jumps in and saves the day.

“Soon. He had some issue at home. My aunt is sick or something.”

Great. At least Terrence would have acted as some sort of a buffer. If he doesn’t show, this will make for the world’s most uncomfortable evening. “I hope she’s okay. I was sick last week. It really brought me down. I haven’t missed work in damn near fifteen years until I got that cold.”

“Fifteen years? Damn, how old is this lady?” Nicole thinks she whispers to Lucas, but I hear every word she says.
 

Keith slips his arm around the back of my chair like it’s always belonged there. “Would you like a drink?”

He read my mind. An entire bottle of wine would be nice. “Sure,” I answer. “Something light.” If things keep going downhill, I may step up the drinking, but I don’t want to be too drunk before I accept my award, if I win.

Keith leaves me at the table with Lucas and the bimbo. This will make for great conversation. The air between Lucas and me is tense, and I’m positive Nicole and I have nothing in common. I hope he hurries back and brings something strong, even though I said not to. I honestly don’t think I’m going to make it through this night.

I cup my elbows, rubbing my arms as though I’m cold, but I’m not. I glance table to table, scoping out the competition. Men mostly populate the tables, some with their wives or girlfriends. Women are making a lot of headway in the Information Technology field, but I still don’t meet as many women as I’d like. Most I come in contact with are secretaries and administrative assistants. I’m anxious for the day we have an even playing field or, better yet, overtake it.

“So, you and Keith, huh?” Lucas rips me away from my people watching.

We had this conversation last week and even if I were with Keith, it’s really none of his business. “I guess.” For tonight anyway. We’ll see how this goes.

“Are you okay?”
 

I gaze past him, contemplating the question. The nominations for this award is incredible, but right now I’m hating myself for being in such an odd situation. I could’ve come up with some reason not to come. When Terrence told me about the nomination, he was so high on excitement, that he would have accepted me not attending. My phone vibrates in my clutch purse. I wanted to not take it out tonight and prove to Keith that I’m not all about the technology, but answering my phone will provide a much-needed distraction right now.

Please call me. It’s about your mom.
 

Sasha. Maybe looking at my phone was a bad idea.This is supposed to be an exciting night, and now not only do I have Lucas questioning my intentions with Keith, but now Sasha is starting in on me again. I understand her motives to put me back in contact with my mother, but we’ve been apart for such a long time. She’s been absent from my life for so long, that she’s now just somebody I used to know. A person who lives in my past. A person who has no right to be in my future. I don’t wish anything bad upon her, but I have no desire to see her or make amends. I dismiss the message and put my phone away. “I’m fine. How are you doing?”

“Good. We’re good.” He glances over at Nicole, whose cat-like eyes are turned back at him seductively. I think I know what he sees in her. Pure sex, I’m sure.

“How long have you two been dating?” Keith better return soon with my drink. My throat is dry, and my sober self can’t handle this. Is it too late to change seats?

He slides his hand off the table. I don’t need to imagine where he probably placed it based on the small jump from Nicole. “We’ve dated on and off for many years.”

“High school, really,” Nicole leans into him. “We were high school sweethearts.”

I hardly see her as a sweetheart. Anything but. She and I wouldn’t have been friends back in high school. She’s too prissy, too likely to stab someone in the back. “How nice.”

Keith returns what feels like hours later. “I hope a martini is okay.”
 

“Perfect.” I almost spill it taking the glass from him, but I don’t skip a beat and start drinking. I’ll drink about anything right now.
 

“What were we talking about?” Keith’s arm rests on my chair again, and he scoots in a bit closer. This is good. I like this.
 

“Oh, did you know Lucas and Nicole here are high school sweethearts? How romantic. Back together after all these years.” A whole four, maybe five, years. I’ve been out of high school, let’s see, five, ten. No, I don’t want to do the math. It’ll only depress me and require another drink to get the number out of my head.

Nicole turns and plants a kiss on Lucas, never even putting her phone down. Even
I’m
not
that
bad. I turn and look at Keith because I can’t even watch this. As soon as my face is level with his, he closes the gap between us. What’s this? A kiss off? I kiss him back, though, and am transported back to that night in the basement. My body weakens and my heart is pounding. This kiss is going on for a while, and I’m pretty sure people are watching us.
 

“Ahem.”

We break apart and Terrence is standing next to us, Lucas and Nicole are watching us. “Terrence!” Keith and I both stand up.

“Please, sit down.” He takes a seat. “Looks like I missed quite a show.” He chuckles.

My embarrassment hits the highest of all time. I can’t believe my boss caught me making out in the middle of a work event. Even if it’s not his nephew, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m humiliated and it was unprofessional. “That won’t happen again.”

“No, it’s fine, Cassie. Don’t worry about it. Thanks for joining us, Keith. You did a fine job at the office.”

“Thank you.” The two shake hands like old pals. “I take a lot of pride in my work.”

“Well, it shows.”

We chit chat for awhile, my favorite, and I learn Terrence’s wife hurt her back and that’s why she isn’t there. I ignore a few more texts from Sasha before I finally do the unthinkable and turn my phone off.

The ceremony begins about fifteen minutes after Terrence’s arrival. I’m grateful for the silence at our table. A few comedians make an appearance putting in jokes about all the different phone competitors and the commercials between Mac and PC. We all share a few laughs. An hour into the ceremony, I’m practically nestled under Keith’s arm.

When it comes time to give out the IT Manager of the Year award, Keith grabs my hand and holds it tight. I’m nervous. Maybe the martini and the few drinks I had after weren’t the best idea because I’m starting to get dizzy as the emcee announces the nominations.
 

I’m on the edge of my seat when it comes time to announce the winner. My name comes over the microphone, and I can’t move. My butt is glued to my chair, and I’m repeating the name in my head. Did he really say
my
name?

“Cassie!” Keith nudges me. “You won! Get up there!”

I pry myself off my chair as the applause echoes in my ears. As I stand, Keith grabs my hand and pulls me down for another kiss. I’m taken by surprise, and I think it shows because it draws a small laugh from the crowd. I glance over at Lucas, who’s glaring at Keith.

I ignore them both and head to the stage. The presenter hands me my plaque. It’s lighter than I expected. Not that I thought the gold plates were
real
gold or anything, but I expected it to be a tad heavier. The crowd quiets as they wait for my acceptance speech. All the speeches before me thanked their companies, their co-workers, and their parents. I’ve got two of the three.

“When Terrence Rhimes told me I was nominated for this award, I was more than a little shocked, to say the least. What I do, well, I love it, and I would do it whether or not this award existed. Thank you, Terrence, for believing in me.” Short and sweet is the best way to keep this. Besides, I hate it when acceptance speeches go on and on, so I don’t want to be one of those people. I nod my head to signal the end of my words, and the crowd applauds as I make my way back to the table.

“Well deserved, Cassie. Congratulations.” Lucas nods toward me.

“Thank you. Maybe one day you’ll be getting an award.” I’m giddy with excitement now, and I hold the plaque against my chest.

Keith touches my knee, and I allow another kiss. I close my eyes, and I’m smiling inside.

“Excuse me,” Lucas says as he stands up and takes a quick drink. “I need to get some fresh air.” Nicole stands up to join him. “No, you can stay here. I’ll be right back.”

He takes off out the exit and leaves the four of us in confusion. “What just happened?” Nicole asks, embarrassed her date took off on her.

“Do you think I should go after him?” I whisper to Keith.

“Why?”

Because I’m sure it has everything to do with me. Because I’m certain seeing us two together hurt him. “He’s a friend. He needs a friend.”

“Sure. Do what you have to do.” There’s a cold insinuation in his voice, but I rush outside anyway.

Snow has started to fall, and neither of us is wearing our jacket, not having taken the time to grab it from the coat check. The precipitation is cold against my skin, and I can see my breath as I yell his name.

“Cassie, go back inside. I need a minute. I’ll be fine.”

“What upset you back there?” I step down the stairs and meet him at the bottom.

“What do you think?”

He’s pacing the sidewalk of the venue, his arms crossed in an obvious state of anger.

“I told you, Lucas, we can’t be a couple. I like you. We had fun that night. It can’t go beyond that.” Never in my life did I expect things to go this way. All I wanted was a night to feel young again, and Lucas gave that to me. I didn’t expect this.

He tightens his fists and races toward me. I step back for a second until he grabs me and pulls me to him. The snow falls onto my face as he kisses me, dipping me into the flurries. He lets go and steps back. “You don’t feel anything?”

I stand there, watching him plead with his eyes, telling me with sheer emotion he wants to be with me, and it kills me inside to hurt him. Is this how it’s been with every man I’ve dated? Have I never even considered their emotional attachments? Have I hurt every single one of them and walked away without any guilt? Lust and love are two completely different emotions. They’re two separate roller coasters. If having a strictly sexual relationship with him is only one-sided and he’s returning more than that, well, I can’t string him along any further.

“No. I don’t.”

He stomps his foot on the ground and snow kicks up from under his shoe. “Damn it, Cassie!” He curses me as he whips past me and back into the building, leaving me in the shadow of the moonlight, the heartless person that I am.

Chapter

Twenty-Six

All I wanted to do was get out of there. I couldn’t stand to sit at a table with Lucas knowing I had broken his heart and there was nothing I could do about it. He shrugged it off as though he didn’t give a damn by groping Nicole every chance he had. He could’ve left just as easily, but Keith suggested we stroll through the lights at Red Arrow Park, and I couldn’t refuse.
 

The park, only a few blocks away from the venue site, is quite busy tonight. People are crowding the area and taking in the holiday lights. “I think tonight was the tree lighting ceremony,” I tell Keith as we walk hand and hand through the walkway that curves through the park.
 

“I think it was on Tuesday. Have you ever been to one?”

“No, but I come see the tree every year. You?”

We squeeze past a young family of four as we continue down the trail. “I used to go years ago with my parents and brother. It was kind of a tradition.”

“Oh.” I didn’t have any traditions, even around the holidays. On Christmas morning, my mom gave me something she picked up from the dollar store, usually a coloring book or a plastic toy, and then we headed off to her flavor of the week. I wanted to put up a tree, decorate it with handmade ornaments, but we couldn’t afford one.
 

He stops and faces me. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
 

“It’s fine. It’s not your fault my mom was a drug addict.”

His eyes widen and I realize this is the first time I said anything about her addiction. I kept that part out of my discussion with the group, plagued by embarrassment and wanting to avoid judgment.

“I didn’t realize …”

“I didn’t tell you.” I take his hand back and start walking again. “It’s a part of my past I prefer not to discuss. In fact, I prefer to keep it
all
in the past. When I found out my mom was looking for me, it brought all the anger back. She’s in the hospital now, and I don’t even know how I feel about it.”

We approach a band playing classical music. I really should make it a point to come down here more often. The vibe is so positive and energetic, and there are so many different types of people. I lock myself in my office most of the time, and when I leave the office, I drive my fifteen minutes out of the city to go home where I turn my laptop back on and do more work. I’m here with this wonderful man whose hand I’m holding and I’m crushing on, and that’s all I want to think about right now. I want to stand here and lean against him, take in these spectacular musicians, and not talk about my mother. This atmosphere is meant for fun and excitement, not sadness and resentment.

“It’s okay, Cassie. It’s normal to be confused.”

I run my hand up his arm and he squeezes me tight. “Thank you, Keith, for being so understanding.”

“About that,” he begins and my head shoots up from the comfortable position it was in only seconds before. “What happened that night? Why did you kiss me and then want to take it back?”

“
I
kissed
you
?” I pull back and narrow my eyes. “
You
kissed
me
, Mister.”