Daughter of Fire and Ice (13 page)

‘They can keep their stupid feast,’ I told the foal. ‘You’re better company than any of them.’ It wasn’t true and I knew it really. They would be telling stories around the fire, talking of the land we’d just arrived in. I longed to hear it all. I was miserable and it was a long time before I fell asleep.

Asgerd was reproachful when she returned the next morning.

‘Why didn’t you come last night when you were asked?’ she said.

I didn’t meet her eyes. ‘I was happy enough here,’ I lied. ‘And anyway, Ragna told me to stay behind.’

‘Bjorn ordered otherwise. Ragna’s just jealous,’ said Asgerd.

‘Jealous?’ I asked incredulously. ‘Why would she be?’

‘Use your sense, Thora. You’re young, beautiful, and your friendship with Bjorn is obvious.’

‘She has married Bjorn,’ I said bitterly.

Asgerd snorted impatiently. ‘She has him in name. But she knows he doesn’t want her. He hasn’t lain with her one single night, and everyone knows it. Think what that must be like for her.’

I thought about it. I knew that Bjorn avoided Ragna when he could. He was courteous to her, but never sought her company. I’d noted that he slept on deck throughout the voyage and never in her cabin. It must be humiliating for her to have everyone watching this. But my happiness wasn’t restored by knowing that she was unhappy too.

‘Still,’ I told Asgerd. ‘He is utterly denied to me. For ever.’

Asgerd took my hand in her own work-roughened hand. ‘For ever is a very long time,’ she said softly.

My eyes strayed to where Bjorn was helping Ragna back on deck. Another barb of jealousy jabbed at my already troubled heart. Asgerd squeezed my hand. ‘It’s better not to look,’ she advised me.

Obediently, I turned my face away. It was good advice, but I doubted I could stick to it.

We remained three days in the east fjords. Our animals were picketed to graze and recover from the journey. We all bathed and washed our hair in the freezing water of the streams, drying ourselves afterwards in the warm, late summer sunshine. Our people enjoyed shore leave and feasting with the household. I was excluded by Ragna and Bjorn didn’t countermand her again. Neither did he come anywhere near me. He busied himself preparing the ship for the next stage of the voyage and talking with the settlers.

I kept myself to myself, tending the animals, especially Aki, and roaming the area discreetly looking for plants. There were seeds to collect. I couldn’t wander far, however, as I soon discovered that this settlement was completely ringed by high mountains. A boy tending the cattle told me there was a high pass behind the fjord but it was only passable in good weather in summer. It was a stiff climb and took a full day to cross, he said. Especially if the snow lingered.

Although the land was fertile here, it wasn’t a large area. I wouldn’t have chosen to settle somewhere so cut off from the rest of the land. I hoped we could do better.

The day before we were due to leave, I overheard Bjorn and Thrang discussing our journey the following day. I pretended not to listen while I sat on deck sorting my seeds. I had spread them to dry in the sun and was now pouring them into leather pouches for the journey.

‘The wind is favourable,’ Thrang was saying, looking up at the sky. ‘Let’s hope it holds. I think your decision to go south is a good one.’

‘By all accounts the east and north coasts offer less,’ agreed Bjorn. ‘And it makes sense to go that way, as you know the coast.’

Thrang nodded. They moved past me along the deck, checking the sail was secured and the ropes carefully looped and tied. Thrang adjusted a rope every now and then or redid a knot. Bjorn ignored me, but Thrang inclined his head respectfully as he passed.

Their words disturbed me deeply. I wasn’t immediately sure why. There had been a time when Bjorn wouldn’t have taken such a decision without consulting me, and it was hurtful that he no longer did, but that wasn’t all. Bjorn had decided wrongly. I was convinced of it. I sat quite still, allowing the feeling to grow in me. I calmed my mind and took some slow breaths. If the fates wished to tell me something, I was open.

I felt the vision coming before I saw it. My hands tingled and burned and the deck faded from my eyes as they dimmed, my sight turning inwards.

Churning black floodwater sweeping our ship far out to sea. Huge chunks of ice floating in the swirling current. Screams of distress. A great noise, an ear splitting crack. A mountain of ice bearing down upon our stricken vessel. An iceberg the size of two longhouses on their ends. It strikes, and before my horrified eyes, the ship is dashed to pieces. People flung this way and that, helpless in the grip of such huge forces. I can see Bjorn falling into the churning black torrent. In the blink of an eye he’s sucked under.

I cried out and the vision faded. The sun was shining on me again and I was sitting on the deck panting, my breath coming short as though I had run a great distance.

Thrang bent over me, taking my arm in a firm grip.

‘Thora, are you ill?’ he asked. His voice sounded gruff but concerned. Bjorn was standing staring at me.

‘What have you seen?’ he asked. ‘What did you mean, the ship will be dashed to pieces?’

‘You must go north,’ I said. My voice was hoarse and it hurt to speak. I coughed to clear it.

There was sweat on my brow; I could feel it cooling in the breeze. My hands were shaking and I gripped them together. Bjorn frowned. Thrang crouched down so that he could look me in the eyes.

‘The climate is harsh on the north coast, Thora.’ He spoke firmly. ‘And the winds are against us. There’s good land in the south.’

I shook my head. ‘To go south is certain death,’ I told him.

Thrang looked startled. I saw him glance uncertainly at Bjorn.

‘Leave us a moment,’ he ordered Thrang curtly.

‘What’s this, Thora?’ he asked. ‘Ragna warned me you would play some such trick.’

I took a deep breath, steadying myself.

‘Since when did you listen to Ragna’s advice before mine?’ I asked, keeping my voice low.

‘I’ve discovered a few things about you that I didn’t know before.’

I was tired from the vision, too weary to fight. I wanted to curl up in a corner somewhere. But I didn’t. I looked at Bjorn.

‘I’ve seen all of our deaths,’ I told him steadily. ‘Please don’t take your people south.’

Bjorn stared at me, troubled. ‘How can you be sure?’ he asked. His voice was gentler now. ‘You heard what Thrang said. Life in the north will be much harder.’

‘How could I know you were going to kill Svanson?’ I said. ‘I see things, you know I do.’ I tried to explain the vision I had seen just now. As I spoke of it, I saw it again, and shivered, goosepimples running over my skin.

Bjorn looked closely at me, and then nodded. ‘I’ll think about it,’ he promised. He smiled at me more kindly than he had done for some time. ‘Thrang is going to take some convincing. I’m not sure he has much time for goddesses and their messages. It’s all wind, waves, and trusting to Thor with him.’

I managed a weak smile in return. Bjorn gripped my shoulder for an instant and then left. I sat still for a few moments, my eyes closed. Then I forced myself to continue sorting my herbs.

The following morning, I asked Thrang which direction we were taking. He told me we were going north. ‘Though I don’t know how, in this wind direction,’ he added, looking uneasy. I felt relief. Bjorn had chosen to trust me.

We said our farewells and then we were away, gliding out of the fjord.

As we emerged onto the open sea, the easterly wind which had been blowing steadily since yesterday faltered and then dropped. Our sail flattened and dropped at the mast. Thrang ordered everyone to the oars. They bent to their work, and slowly, painfully slowly, we began to creep northwards along the coast. It was so slow, I offered to help. I was allocated an oar and Stein showed me how to use it. It was heavy work, and my hands blistered after only a short time.

We passed a fjord and a rocky outcrop at a snail’s pace. A breath of mild wind stirred behind us. Over the next hour it strengthened until the sail filled. The oars were shipped and the ship flew over the water once more. Thrang looked at me warily and shook his head.

‘Which god did you pray to for that miracle?’ he asked.

‘None,’ I said. ‘They helped of their own accord. But I shall thank all of them now.’ And I did so. Sitting in the sunshine on the deck, I offered each god and goddess in turn thanks for the favourable wind.

We worked our way north in increasingly choppy seas. Each night we sheltered in one of the many narrow, inhospitable fjords. Thrang muttered about autumn storms. His words made me uneasy. Had my vision guided us away from one danger, only to face a different one? The coastline we passed was deserted, unsettled. But the soil was poor and the cliffs forbidding.

‘The summer’s almost over,’ said Thrang, his voice surly with anxiety. ‘The nights are growing dark again. It’s unheard of to settle so late in the year. Bjorn should have chosen a spot by now and raised a roof over our heads.’

This was a long speech from the taciturn captain. He seemed to think so too. He turned from me abruptly and shouted at the oarsmen for slacking. They responded by pulling on the oars until the sweat ran down their faces. We slipped out between the narrow cliffs that guarded the entrance to the fjord.

‘Do you see all that white on the cliffs?’ asked Thrang, making me jump. I hadn’t heard him come to stand beside me again.

‘Yes,’ I said, squinting into the rising sun. ‘Black rock, streaked with white.’

Thrang nodded grimly. ‘Bird droppings,’ he said brusquely. ‘In summer, those are bird cliffs. Where are the birds? Gone south with their young. They know autumn is coming.’

I watched Stein and Bjorn set the sail. The wind caught it, making it billow out ahead of us, and the boat leapt over the waves. I was exhilarated to be underway once more, and banished the chill fear that Thrang’s words had made me feel.

Now that we had started on this course, Bjorn pushed us on relentlessly. We skirted treacherous rocky cliffs and fought deadly currents. We were up at dawn, having snatched a few short hours sleep and sailed throughout the long daylight hours. Sometimes we passed tempting fjords and bays with fertile land. Many places were not settled. But Bjorn barely spared them a glance. He was deaf to Ragna’s pleadings of sea sickness and Thrang’s fear of bad weather.

‘How far are we going, Bjorn?’ I asked him one evening.

‘We need to go further from Norway,’ he muttered. His eyes looked haunted. ‘People might come. People who knew Svanson. You were quite right to choose the north. It will be quieter here.’

‘What if we take shelter now, to sit out the winter? Then we can explore the coast in the spring,’ I suggested. Bjorn shook his head.

I hesitated. An image was forming in my mind. Every night I dreamt it and it grew clearer and closer. It was the same image I’d seen after Svanson’s death. A wide bay with mountains on one side and green hills on the other. At its head was scrub and meadow. I was unsure whether to share this with Bjorn, but he surprised me by mentioning it himself.

‘You saw it, didn’t you?’ he asked, in a softer voice. ‘The place where we will make our home. Will you recognize it?’

I bit my lip. ‘Your home and Ragna’s home, you mean,’ I said bitterly.

‘It will be your home too,’ replied Bjorn. ‘Unless you choose to … marry into another household.’

I left him standing at the rail. That was not a conversation I could bear to pursue.

I crouched down in my usual spot beside the foals. Aki was suffering from this long voyage. His eyes were dull with misery. All the animals were out of condition. Their coats were matted and stiff with salt. The short stop in the south-east of Iceland hadn’t been enough. This was the time of year they should be out at pasture, eating themselves fat on sweet summer grass against the long winter ahead. Aki always cheered up when I spent time with him, but left alone, I’m sure he would have given up long ago.

My other patient was more troublesome. Ragna insisted that I tended her at least once a day. I think it was for the pleasure of tormenting me. As I stooped and entered her stuffy cabin, she glared at me, her eyes gleaming malevolently in the half-light.

‘I thought you were never coming,’ she said fretfully. ‘My head aches and my leg is hurting. I feel sick all the time. You must have something to give me. I’m sure you are keeping your best medicines for the others.’

I wedged open the door to the shelter as she spoke, letting in a rush of light and air. Ragna groaned and shut her eyes tight.

‘You’re trying to kill me,’ she said accusingly.

It was best to say as little as possible. Whatever I said antagonized her and was used against me. Repeated to Bjorn in a twisted form to make trouble.

‘You need the fresh air,’ I said, as I always did. ‘You should come out on deck more.’

Ragna was genuinely unwell. Her skin was pale and her hair unkempt. Her frail prettiness had gone and she looked like something that had crawled out from under a stone.

‘You’ll feel better when we find a place to settle,’ I consoled her.

I’d brought a damp cloth with me and with it I began to wipe her face and hands. Usually she tolerated this, but today she pushed my hands away impatiently.

‘Well, why don’t we stop?’ she asked. ‘We’ve passed enough good places, if you ask me.’

‘Bjorn thinks we should go further round the island,’ I said carelessly, forgetting that Ragna would be angry to hear that Bjorn had consulted me and not her.

At once Ragna grasped my wrist in an iron grip that had little to do with her invalid state.

‘Don’t think I didn’t see you speaking to him just now,’ she hissed at me. ‘Taking advantage of my illness. Well, you won’t get him away from me. If you so much as look at him again, I’ll make you sorry you were ever born.’

I kept my eyes lowered, but I knew Ragna was glaring at me. She already
had
nearly made me sorry I was born. I pulled my wrist away and made to leave the cabin.