Dearest Clementine (23 page)

When I finally stop shuddering, I laugh. I can’t help it. I’ve never let myself go like this. Sure, I messed around with Daren, but I never let him touch me so intimately. I mostly touched him. I don’t think I ever really trusted him enough to be that vulnerable.

Gavin watches my expression and grins. “That good?”

If I weren’t already flushed with that earth-shattering orgasm, I’m sure I’d be blushing right now. I shake my head a bit, brushing off the embarrassment before I look him in the eye.

“Mind-blowing,” I say, still out of breath. He leans down and kisses me gently, and as our lips touch, I know I am gone. I am his.

My hands travel down his chest until my fingers dip into the sculpted V of his hip muscles that I’d love to lick. Hmm, that’s definitely headed beyond what I should do tonight. I wouldn’t even know how to do
that
, which makes me think I need to sit Jenna down for a tutorial.

Gavin drops his head to my neck, his breath hot against my skin. He groans as I reach under the waistband of his boxers, my palm sliding against his hard, velvety skin. And oh. My. God. My fingers barely wrap around him, which has me all kinds of hot and bothered—again—and, let’s be honest, scared, because holy shit, how would we fit together?

My breath hitches in my throat, and it takes me a second to gather myself.
Relax, Clem. You know how to do this.
When I wouldn’t sleep with Daren, I got really good at this. But I never wanted Daren the way I want Gavin. This… this is different.

He breathes against me as I stroke down on him.

“Fuck, Clem, that feels good,” he murmurs.

His words make me shiver, and I smile. I want him to fall apart. I want to do this to him, for him.

Feeling a little bolder, I pick up the pace as I pull his face to me and kiss him gently before I take his tongue into my mouth and suck. He groans again, and right now I want to devour him whole.

“Shit, I’m going to come.” He starts to pull away, but I shake my head.

“Uh-uh. Don’t even think about it.” I kiss him again, sucking his tongue to the same rhythm as my hand moves along him, and his whole body tenses before warmth spreads against my wrist.

We lie there, quiet, our chests heaving against one another.

“You’re so amazing,” he whispers in my ear, and I don’t need to see his face to know he’s smiling.

After a few minutes, once his breathing begins to slow, I start to pull away, but he rolls over onto his back, tucking me beneath his muscular arm. I laugh, wiggling free to grab the box of tissues next to my bed. He peeks up at me as I kneel over him, his eyes sleepy, and he shakes his head.

“I can’t look at you unless you want to go for a second round.”

I grin, kissing him softly before I snuggle back down against him, pulling a blanket over us. My limbs go limp, and I’m awash in a euphoric afterglow as I fall asleep.

I dream about Gavin and that as we’re tangled together he tells me he loves me.

Best dream ever.

-
18 -

Daylight breaks through my window when I wake. Gavin is draped over me, his face peaceful and relaxed. Nuzzling against him, I inhale his scent. I could stay wrapped up in his arms all day.

“Morning,” he says groggily.

“Hi. Did you sleep okay?” Considering we’re crammed into my narrow bed, I’m hoping he wasn’t miserable last night.

“Hell, yes, I slept well.” He chuckles and peeks under the covers before he lets his head fall back onto the pillow. “Feel free to wake me up half naked any day.”

I elbow him, and he laughs.

“Do you have to go to work?” he asks.

“Not ’til noon.”

My phone rings in my purse, which is by the bed, so I reach over him and grab it. The call is from an unknown number, and when I pick up, no one responds.

“Weird.”

“What is it?” Gavin strokes my back.

“This is the third or fourth hangup I’ve gotten from an unknown caller in the last couple of days.” I shake it off. “It’s probably nothing.”

I shiver in the cold room, and he wraps his arms around me.

“Want to grab breakfast?” Morning Gavin has the sexiest voice.

I smile. I’ve heard so many stories of guys who race for the door after they’re intimate with a girl. I love that Gavin isn’t like that.

“Sure. I’m gonna jump in the shower first.”

He groans at me. “Not yet. I’m not ready to let go of you.” He wraps himself around me. His hand trails up my waist, making me squirm. “You’re ticklish?”

“Maybe. A little. But don’t tell anyone.”

“I’m learning all kinds of things about you this weekend,” he teases.

I cover my face, embarrassed by the sheer number of things to which he could be referring.

He whispers, “You’re so damn adorable, I want to bite you.” When I peek over at him, his eyes are closed, a smile teasing his lips.

In the light of day, he’s even more stunning. Light stubble covers his face, and when he glances at me through those long lashes, I have to bite my lip to stop from grinning. I push him off me so that he’s on his back, and I cross my arms over his chest, peering down at him because I want to soak him in. I rest my chin on my arms as he plays with a long strand of my hair. Simply having our naked chests pressed together is almost indecently intimate. And maybe that gives me a certain kind of courage.

“Can I ask you something?” I ask hesitantly. His eyebrows perk up. “Have you… have you been with many women?”

His lighthearted demeanor shifts into something more serious as he studies my face. “Uh, not that many. No. Have you?”

“Been with many women? No. Not many,” I joke.

He laughs a little, pressing his palms to his eyes. “I really didn’t need new material to fantasize about you.”

“You… you fantasize about me?”

He drops his hands and grins at me. “Have you seen yourself lately?”

I look away, embarrassed, and holy hell, flattered. I try hard to focus on my point. “The reason I asked about the women is because—”

“Because we’re dating and you have a right to know.” He brushes hair out of my face.

“Yes, that, but you’re…”
You’re good with my girlie parts and something about that makes me nervous.
“You have some skill with those hands, not that I have all this firsthand experience for comparison, because I don’t. Not really.” Why the fuck am I telling him this? I have no idea. Something about Gavin makes me say things that normally would never come out of my mouth.

“What do you mean you have no experience? Are you saying nobody has ever…”

“I mean, I’m not a virgin, but I’ve only slept with one guy, and it wasn’t Daren. Actually, I never got close to letting Daren get in my pants,” I say as I run my finger along his chest. “I think I never really trusted him, and I guess I had good reason not to in retrospect.” I could get lost in the ridges of muscle on Gavin’s chest. “The second guy was only one night the summer after high school, and the experience definitely was
not
memorable. So to answer your question, no, no one has ever… gotten me there.”

He watches me as he reaches up and slowly strokes my cheek.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I laid that all on you,” I say, frowning.

He threads his fingers through my hair. “No, I want to know about you, about your past. You usually seem like you don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want to pressure you.”

I’m tired of being so closed off. It hasn’t made me any stronger or braver. It hasn’t imparted any wisdom or comfort. It’s just made me lonely.

I take a deep breath and narrow my eyes at him playfully. “What do you want to know? If you tell me how many girls you’ve been with, you can ask me anything.”

He grins. “A quid pro quo? Okay, I’m game. Um, let me think about it.” He starts silently counting on one hand and then the other and back and forth again as my eyes get bigger. Then he looks at me and laughs. “Kidding.”

“Shit, you scared me.” I let out a sigh of relief.

“Like seven or eight.” He caresses my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “My turn.”

I nod, bracing myself for what he might ask.

“Why the one-night stand? Most guys would kill to be with you.” His voice is soft and without judgment.

Biting my lip, I think about it. “I didn’t like the power it had over me. I wanted to get it over with. Daren acted like it was this huge thing that I wouldn’t sleep with him when girls were lining up behind me, and honestly, I wasn’t opposed to the act itself. I don’t think of myself as a prude, but for me it was more about being
that
vulnerable with someone.” I rest my chin on my arms as I trace his collarbone with my thumb. “I didn’t like feeling that Daren could use it against me, and I never wanted a man to be able to do that to me again. In the end, I thought it was easier to have faceless sex than to be vulnerable with someone who could hurt me.”

Surprisingly, I’m not embarrassed that I shared this bit of my history with him.

His hands gently run along my arms and back. “I didn’t think you were a virgin.”

“Most people assume I am because I never date.”

“It’s the way you look at guys. Girls with no experience either look afraid or eager. You looked disgusted.”

I laugh, wrapping my arms around him so I can lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. It’s slow and steady, a rhythm that’s strangely soothing. After a few minutes, I think of my next question. “Who was your first?”

“My little sister’s babysitter, Rachel. I was fifteen, almost sixteen, and she was seventeen.”

“Hmm. An older woman. Very daring.”

“I’m sure it was anything but daring,” he laughs.

I raise my head and look down at him. “If she could only see you now,” I say suggestively. “Any of those girls serious?”

“No fair. It’s my turn,” he says, flipping me onto my back, making me laugh. He wraps his arms around my waist, pressing me tightly to him. “But I’ll answer your question. I had a serious girlfriend in high school, but she went to UCLA, so we broke up, and I dated a couple girls in college, but they didn’t work out.”

“What happened with Angelique?”

He leans down and kisses my neck. “Being with her was empty,” he says as he continues migrating south. “She’s smart and beautiful but cold.”

I tangle my hand through his hair, and as things start getting interesting, someone knocks on my door.

“Clem?” It’s Jenna.

“Go away. I’m naked,” I yell, making Gavin chuckle.

“You have a delivery. Get your ass out here.”

He groans but rolls off me. I sit up, wondering how to cover myself without taking the entire comforter with me. Of course, this is ridiculous as Gavin has already seen me topless. I start to crawl over him, but he pulls me down on top of him.

“You are one fucking hot girl, Clementine,” he says, smacking my rear. “I’ve never enjoyed baseball that much before.”

I grin like a lunatic. “Not bad for an in-field triple, huh?”

“And my girl knows her bases. Stop trying to turn me on.”

I laugh as I slink out of his grasp. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I brace myself to walk across the room clad in only underwear.
Screw it.
I’m a modern woman. What’s the big deal? I get up, fully aware that his eyes are boring a hole through me, and I grab a black t-shirt out of my dresser and slip it on before I head out into the living room, closing the door behind me. Jenna and Harper are sitting on the couch, drinking coffee, and there, on the end table, is the most amazing bouquet of white roses I’ve ever seen.

“You must have done something right last night,” Jenna says provocatively.

They’re gorgeous. I lean over to smell them.

“Read the note,” Harper says, pointing to a small pink envelope peeking out behind a flower.

I pull the card out from the holder. It says,
Perfect roses for a perfect girl. Love, Gavin.
Emotion catches in my throat, and I almost want to cry.

“It’s gotta be good. Look at her expression,” Jenna whispers to Harper.

Swallowing hard, I hand them the card. They read it, and Jenna starts squealing. I swear she’s worse than any teenager when it comes to this sort of thing. “Holy shit, Clem!”

I start to shush her when Gavin strolls out. He’s dressed, but his hair looks like I just bedded him.
Oh my lord.
The mere sight of this man makes me want to lock him in my room for another go.

“Ladies,” he says, walking over and wrapping his arms around me.

Harper and Jenna look at each other and grin.

“Morning, handsome,” Jenna says in a bedroom voice that makes me laugh. “Didn’t know you guys were having a slumber party.”

“Baseball, we were playing baseball,” he says as he kisses my temple.