Authors: Christie Anderson
“Heather,” I said. “How could the accident possibly be your fault? You weren’t even in the car.”
She gained a little composure. “Yeah, but you never would’ve been in the car with Justin if it wasn’t for me. I invited him over. You should hate me right now.”
“Don’t be silly. That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Sadie, I’m serious, I was such a jerk. I…I lied to you,” she confessed. “I never had an interest in Justin. I can’t stand that guy. I purposely invited him over because I, like, wanted him to mess things up with you and Nick. I told Justin you were the one that wanted him to come.”
“I don’t understand,” I said. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I was jealous. And because…
I
like Nick. I was being stupid, I’m so sorry.” She looked at me reluctantly, preparing for my response.
“
You
like Nick?” I asked. I had my suspicions, but I wanted to hear it from
her
.
She nodded, ashamed.
“If you had feelings for him, you should’ve told me,” I said. “I didn’t even know who he was when you first mentioned him. Why did you want me to go out with him in the first place?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I guess I didn’t realize I liked him until he’d already asked you out. The more I thought about it, the more jealous I got.”
“You should have said something; I would’ve understood.”
“I know. I’m sorry. But it’s not just that, Sadie.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well…everyone loves you. Everyone wants to be your friend. Sometimes I feel like your tag-a-long or something.”
“Why would you think that?” I asked shocked.
“People see you and they’re like, hey look, it’s Sadie. She’s so beautiful and perfect. We love her. And then they see me and think, oh, there’s that chick that’s always following Sadie around.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I must have been completely clueless. I had no idea she felt this way.
“That’s so not true, Heather. You are an amazing, smart, beautiful girl. Believe me, you could
never
be anyone’s shadow; and you’re a great friend. Why else would I stick with you for so long?”
I was expecting a smile but her face fell. “Ever since school started this year it felt like you didn’t want to spend time with me anymore. I was scared I was losing you,” she said.
She was right; I
had
been distant. I was the one who’d stopped coming to her house. I was the one with all the crazy mood swings and random bouts of depression. All this time I’d thought she was pulling away from me, but in reality I was the one who’d started it all.
“Heather, I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. I wasn’t being a good friend. I’ve sort of been going through some stuff lately and I guess I was being selfish. I’m really sorry. Can you forgive me? Will you please be my best friend again? I miss you.”
She smiled and reached out to hug me. “Of course I will. I miss you too.”
She leaned back and blotted her cheeks with a tissue from her purse then gestured to a white bag near the door. “I brought dinner. You know, in case it turned out you didn’t hate me after all,” she said, in her usual good humor.
Finally—I had my friend back.
“Really?” I said with a happy little clap. “What did you bring me?”
She pulled open the boxes revealing two taco meals from
Wahoo’s
, a local favorite of mine.
“You know me so well,” I said.
“Well I figured, who knows what stuff they’re feeding you around here. I couldn’t have my best friend living off fake mashed potatoes and pudding cups, right?”
We laughed.
“So what ended up happening the other night with you and Nick?” I asked. I was excited I could bring it up now without it causing any problems. “Did he stay and hang out with you?”
I honestly could say I had absolutely no interest in him, but I really hoped it might work out for Heather.
“Well, at first I was scared to tell you,” she said. “I felt pretty guilty about the whole thing, but we sort of hung out all weekend. I think we’re kind of
dating
now.”
“Are you serious? That’s so great,” I said.
Heather’s face beamed when she heard my approval. “I think I really like him. That first night he stayed until pretty late. Then the next day when we all found out about your accident, he came over to see if I needed someone to talk to. Wasn’t that sweet?” Her eyes lit up. “We’ve seen each other almost every day since then.”
“That’s so cute,” I said. “I’m really happy for you guys.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” she asked.
“Not at all,” I said. I suddenly felt the need to whisper. “Actually, there’s sort of someone I think I like too.”
I probably shouldn’t have mentioned anything, but I couldn’t keep secrets from Heather. Plus, I wouldn’t tell her about the really secret parts, just about the gorgeous boy I’d met. He might seem more real if I talked about him out loud instead of just fantasizing about him in my mind.
“Really?” she asked intrigued. “Who is it?”
“I met this guy at the beach last week. I sort of hit my head on a rock and fell in the water. He pulled me out and saved me.”
“He saved you from drowning? Oh my gosh, that’s like, so romantic. Did he give you
mouth to mouth
?” she teased.
“No, I wish,” I joked. My voice grew solemn. “But I don’t know if he’s interested in me, he’s kind of confusing.”
“How could he not be interested, Sade? Did he ask you for your phone number? Did he say he wanted to see you again?”
“Well, sort of. He did say he was planning to see me again, but—”
She didn’t let me finish. “You know what I just realized,” she said, her face brightening. “This means you can come to Sadie Hawkins with our group this Saturday.” She clapped her hands in celebration. “Now you have no excuse not to come. I mean, as long as they let you out of this place by then. Oh my gosh, you totally need to ask this guy to be your date. I have to meet him.”
Was the Sadies dance this weekend? I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten. Well maybe I could—things had been a little crazy the last couple weeks, part of which I’d spent completely unconscious. Plus there were so many other things more interesting to think about.
In past years it was hard to forget the girl-ask-boy dance since it was practically named after me. Everywhere I went at school I kept hearing people say my name, especially other girls as they made plans and whispered about potential boys to invite. I’d always been happy to make plans right along with them, but not this year.
I recalled the conversation I had with Heather a month earlier. I made it extremely clear to her I wasn’t planning to go this year, there weren’t any boys I wanted to ask, and I didn’t want her to
ever
bring up the subject again. I must’ve made my point since she never did bring it up again.
Truthfully, she just caught me during one of my emotional episodes and I was feeling so down and anti-social I practically ripped her head off. I would’ve shot down anything she said no matter what it was.
Poor Heather, she’d really suffered the brunt of my recent emotional roller coaster. No wonder she felt like I didn’t want to be her friend anymore. I really wanted to make it up to her now. I couldn’t say no to the dance after all I’d put her through.
School dances were always an important part of our plans together in the past and it wouldn’t be fair to her if I broke the tradition now. Especially during our senior year, the last time we would get to create any of these special memories together.
I mimicked Heather’s enthusiasm and said, “The dance is this weekend? Of course I want to come with you guys.” Heather’s smile widened, pleased with my response.
Then it dawned on me. Rayne didn’t exactly seem like the type of guy who looked forward to a high school dance. He wasn’t even
in
high school. He’d probably think the whole idea was dumb and immature.
“We’ve already started making plans,” Heather said with animation. “I’m so glad I didn’t ask Trent Freeman last week like I was planning. I’ve already asked Nick and he said yes. Didn’t that work out perfect?”
“Yeah, perfect,” I repeated, a little distracted.
I was still thinking about Rayne. It was him and those sparkling eyes that were perfect. But he was a Keeper, an agent assigned to protect me, not exactly the typical date for a school dance. Not that I would mind an entire evening together with music, dancing, and staring into each other’s eyes, but he didn’t seem fond of being seen in public.
“So what’s this guy’s name?” Heather said, lifting her eyebrows with interest. “Is he hot?”
I sighed against my pillow.
“His name is
Rayne
,” I said, forgetting again that I was supposed to keep my knowledge of him a secret. “He’s the most beautiful boy I’ve ever met,” I said dreamily. “And a complete
mystery
…”
I stared aimlessly across the room. At least, he was beautiful to
me
. I wasn’t sure what anyone else would think and I didn’t care either. Sure, he possessed a certain set of features that were generally considered good looking, but Rayne seemed like more than that to me. He wasn’t just a pretty face or a great set of abs. He was something special.
“Oh…my…gosh,” Heather said. “You are totally in love with this guy.” It was more of an accusation than a statement.
I shook myself out of the dreamy trance. “What? No I’m not. I just—”
Heather folded her arms and gave me a look that clearly said she wasn’t buying it.
“Okay fine,” I said. “I’ve completely fallen for him. I can barely think about anything else.”
I hated to admit it out loud. I threw a pillow over my face. How could it be true? How could I love someone I hardly knew?
“I can’t believe it,” Heather said. “Sadie James, the girl who’s never liked a boy enough in her entire life to even let one kiss her, has totally fallen in love. I knew this day would come.”
I felt my stomach lurch. She was right. I did love him. Not only that, I was pretty sure I was
in
love with him. This might’ve been a wonderful realization if only I knew he felt the same way about me. It didn’t seem likely. Would I ever be more to him than just an assignment? Was I setting myself up for a broken heart?
“You say that like it’s a good thing, but it feels more like torture,” I said. “I don’t think he’ll want to go to the dance with me. I don’t even know if he likes me that way.”
“Don’t worry; it’ll work out,” she said. “I mean, you guys barely met, right? You just need more time to, like, get to know each other. The dance would be the perfect opportunity to see where things go. Just ask him. I’m sure he’ll say yes.”
She said it like it was so simple, but Heather had no idea how complicated the situation really was.
“I guess it couldn’t hurt to ask,” I said, the exact opposite of how I really felt.
She smiled. “You better call me as soon as you know how it goes so we can do some more planning.”
“You’ll be the first to know,” I said weakly.
Heather didn’t notice my worried, wandering glances. Either that or she was purposely trying to ignore them.
“We should go shopping together,” she said. “Don’t forget that we need to buy shirts for our dates so they can match us. And we’re all getting together for dinner before the dance but we’re still trying to decide where to go. Nicole and Kelly want to go to Beach Pit BBQ since it’s more of a casual dance, and that makes sense I guess, but Beach Pit is always so crowded and they barely have any seating. So Lindsey and I came up with the idea to go to Duke’s in Huntington. I really think that would better, don’t you?”
Heather’s ramblings were too much to take in. “Maybe we should wait until I have a date before we make any solid plans,” I said.
“Oh fine, but promise me you’ll come. It won’t be the same without you.”
I didn’t want to disappoint her. I forced a smile. “Yeah…for sure.”
“Even if this guy Rayne can’t come, you could always ask someone else. You know, to create a little competition. Guys always want what they can’t have.”
I laughed. “Let’s just call that plan B for now.”
Heather gathered her things and cleaned what was left from dinner. “Just call me as soon as you decide. The dance is only four days away.”
As Heather said her goodbyes I started to worry. Only four days? That didn’t seem like enough time to gather the nerve to ask Rayne to be my date. Perhaps I could play it off as a casual favor, like it wasn’t really a date, just him helping me out on short notice. That seemed believable. At least there would be less pressure, less chance of getting turned down—a fear I’d never experienced before.
Or maybe Heather had a good idea. I could go with someone else while Rayne watched from the sidelines so he could see what he was missing. But playing games was immature. He’d see right through me, and he’d probably be too concerned about his assignment to notice anyway.
When would I ask him? I didn’t have a way to contact him. For all I knew, he might not show up for days, or ever.
He said he would come back. I had to believe him, to keep my sanity. But why couldn’t he just give me his phone number, or at least
something
?
Despite how much I wanted to please Heather and enjoy a normal night with friends, finding a date to the dance was the least of my worries. I still didn’t know why I needed my own personal Keeper, or protective, healer agent-person, whatever Rayne was. And worse, I didn’t know how long I’d have to wait to see his beautiful face again.
I lay in the lumpy hospital bed for hours, anxious thoughts swirling through my head. Through all the insecurity and speculation, only one thing was perceptively clear—I was in love.
If he disappeared again now, he’d take a part of my heart with him forever. There was no avoiding it. The mysterious, chivalrous,
irresistible
boy would be the path to my greatest passion or the cause of my deepest heartache.